Height discrimination against men in swinging and in general

[tallicafan 41]

I'm just curious, why do women usually prefer taller men? I'm not unusually short (5 feet 9 inches on a good day) but it really seems that I get passed by sometimes because I don't fit some mental requirement of at least 5' 10 to 6 foot in height. I see it written in profiles on SLS, Kasidie, Craigslist, and even on vanilla dating sites.

 

I am in decent shape, take good care of myself, dress stylish, and I think I'm fun. I have had some wonderful experiences and playmates and I am married to a beautiful lady. Still, I have been passed by because of my height. I have seen many other guys who are my size and shorter who experience this even though they are decent looking, respectful, cool, and even have some game.

 

I haven't notice this trend when it comes to an attractive yet short lady. They seem to almost be in demand for some reason. I have even seen a profile where the female was 5 feet tall and she stated only 6 foot or taller guys need apply. Any thoughts?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'm 5' 2" and one of those women most attracted to tall men. It's certainly not a deal breaker and I'd never turn someone down for height, but bonus points for those 6' or so. No reason other than I appreciate the overwhelm of someone much larger.

[Chicup 41]

Height is more sexually attractive to many females. Its just the way it goes. Just like big tits can be for some guys (not me but obvious out there) or blonde hair, or whatever.

 

Height for the male isn't an issue for my wife, she has even played with a guy shorter than her before, but she would rather they be taller. For her its a mild bonus. Anyways don't let the rejections get to you, if its not height it would be something else. I'm 6' even and its not like I got them lined up waiting for me

[exploringRM 305]

Is it any different than big boobs versus small boobs; skinny/curvy; etc. Everyone has their attraction strike zones. My wife prefers men over 5' 9". She is 5' 8". Is it always deal breaker, no, but in general it's a weeding out point when viewing profiles online.

[SwingSetWife 444]

"Everyone is the same height laying down"....? Where did I hear that?

 

I agree that it is just what attracts the person (although I believe that attraction is mostly based on what we are told is attractive.... but that's another story altogether). It's the same as asking why most people find thin people more attractive. Although it might be more common, it isn't always true. I heard a rumor one time that some guys even find chubby girls cute- shocker! I bet if you sit down and ask yourselves you can find at least one thing, if not a couple, that you don't like.

 

Personally, height does matter to me, but not as much as it does to others. I often get teased a bit for liking short guys. I have dated guys as short as 5'4 and DH is an inch shorter than me at 5'8. I blame this on my dad who is 6'10- when you are used to seeing it all the time, it doesn't affect you as much anymore.

[JandKinBoise 858]

Well, I get the preference for taller guys as I get the preference for slimmer women. J likes her men tall but she's just 5'2". Still, early on she passed on a few guys that were around the 5'9" range. After much more experience with men of all sizes I think she will agree that guys shorter than 5'10" on the average, have been better lovers for us. Short guys are much more flexible, and have much more desire to please, in our experience.

I wonder if the problem stems from childhood. Seems every asshole I knew was short and had something to prove. It got to a point I didn't associate with short guys due to the mental baggage they put on themselves. Not so with mature short men. I prefer them now. Now it's the big guy that wants to make sure everyone around knows how big he is. sheesh!

[hazeleyesx3 18]

Well, I will add my 2 cents as well. I'm 5'9 and prefer taller men. I like to wear heels and when I do I sometimes reach the 6' range.

 

Now on the flip side, I get passed over because of my height and weight. I am 5'9 at 120lbs.and a very small chest. I am not a curvy girl at all. I'm in great shape and proud of my hard work to maintain my figure.

 

So, to each his (or her) own.

[Hankandlizzie 15]

5'9"? 120? Athletic? Sounds wonderful!

[asncpl 729]

I am around 5'2" and am attracted to taller guys, although I can't explain exactly why. It's just a preference. My husband is 5'10". With that said though, I don't rule out short guys when I swing. It's not a deal breaker, and it's certainly not a requirement. I know plenty of guys didn't want to play with me because I have small boobs, so is that boob discrimination? Having been in the lifestyle for a while, I really try to be comfortable in my own skin. I find a sense of self-confidence goes a long way when I look for a play partner.

[Chicup 41]

 

Now on the flip side, I get passed over because of my height and weight. I am 5'9 at 120lbs.and a very small chest. I am not a curvy girl at all. I'm in great shape and proud of my hard work to maintain my figure.

 

 

I know plenty of guys didn't want to play with me because I have small boobs, so is that boob discrimination?

 

 

Who are these heathens and why are neither of you local?

 

Ok, I don't want to hijack this into a flirt thread, but I guess this illustrates the issue.

[Sexinthetardis 76]

If someone asks me what kind of men I tend to be attracted to I'm going to give a list "tall, athletic, funny, dark hair...and so on." But that's like ordering off an a la carte menu where you can design your ideal of a sex partner. In reality, my husband has some of those traits but not all and I'm definitely attracted to him. My ex husband had some of them but not all -- one of which is he is an inch shorter than me So in reality when you meet people, attraction isn't like ordering off a menu. Of course people have certain traits that are "deal breakers" for them and for some women, height is one. For me it's not-- but to be honest a beer belly is, I just wouldn't be attracted to an overweight man. But plenty of women don't mind a belly. So I think it all works out! By the way I'm another fit woman with small boobs and nope, not every man is into that, I can vouch for that!

[hazeleyesx3 18]

Who are these heathens and why are neither of you local?

 

Ok, I don't want to hijack this into a flirt thread, but I guess this illustrates the issue.

 

Thank you!!! Flirting is so much fun!! But you are right, this is not the place!!

 

 

I will say that when my partner and I are at parties, I am not the norm because of my body type. I get called out on it at parties too. I don't mind. It is what it is. I can say that no one ever says, hey look at that short guy over there!!!!

[cplnluv1 872]

From my point as a female, I think visually I tend to look at taller men. We have not gone to a party, this is just in general. My husband is 6' and I am 5'3. I can say from my past I have dated both tall and shorter men. My husband has always told me he is attracted to petite women with smaller breasts, but I know he looks at very tall women and has commented on very large breasted women saying "wow".

[carebear 90]

I haven't noticed a preference. Dh is only an inch taller than me, and I've played with men shorter and taller than myself. Generally I've enjoyed them all

[tallicafan 41]

Glad to hear some feedback on this, thanks! I was just curious and looking for some insight. Height is one of those things you can't change short of sawing your leg bones and stretching them ;-) A person can always gain/lose weight or get in better shaper with effort. You can enlarger your breasts if you so desire. (I love em all sizes btw) I am fairly confident and will just continue to rock what I got. PS... If I meet a taller than me beauty that likes me, I'll climb her like a tree!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm the opposite, I'd rather not have a guy that's a lot taller than me because then I get neck strain trying to kiss him. Heck, hubby is 5'10" and I'm 5'3" and I get neck strain kissing him if we are standing up.

[Napoleon 230]

I'm 6 feet 4 inches tall. Most women like tall men. I like slim physically fit women 10 plus years younger than me. I care what I want out of women far more than I care what women want out of me.

[Alura 2,774]

I'm 5'3". My late wife was 5'9". Early on, we developed the habit of kissing while she stood on the step below me.

 

Once a lady asked Laura why she married such a short man.

 

"I measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind," she replied. "Measured that way, he's the tallest man I ever met."

 

My, how I loved that woman!

[Napoleon 230]

I'm 5'3". My late wife was 5'9". Early on, we developed the habit of kissing while she stood on the step below me.

 

Once a lady asked Laura why she married such a short man.

 

"I measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind," she replied. "Measured that way, he's the tallest man I ever met."

 

My, how I loved that woman!

 

 

You're 10 feet tall in character.

[cplnluv1 872]

We discriminate against men with big egos. We discriminate against men who tell big tales of prowess. We discriminate against men with small minds who need to post about being a know it all and yet know nothing.

Oh! Did you mean physical size?

[Napoleon 230]

We discriminate against men with big egos. We discriminate against men who tell big tales of prowess. We discriminate against men with small minds who need to post about being a know it all and yet know nothing.

Oh! Did you mean physical size?

 

Women have all these standards towards men. Yet if a man isn't into overweight women or women over a certain age, or if he's not willing to get involved with a single mom, he's being "so-called" shallow.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Napoleon, I respectfully disagree. A single man who has a particular preference isn't shallow - he's welcome to not interact with anyone he feels isn't his 'cup of tea.'

 

A man - or a woman - becomes 'shallow' when they actively disparage those people who they aren't enamored with.

 

The old phrase 'live and let live' comes to mind.

[cplnluv1 872]

Women have all these standards towards men. Yet if a man isn't into overweight women or women over a certain age, or if he's not willing to get involved with a single mom, he's being "so-called" shallow.

 

You seem to be combative with everyone, I don’t speak for all women. No man or woman sure play with someone they aren’t comfortable with for any reason. Too big, too small, too heavy, too thin, you don’t need to be with anyone you aren’t attracted to.

I put my standards at obnoxious, opionated people.

[Napoleon 230]

You seem to be combative with everyone, I don’t speak for all women. No man or woman sure play with someone they aren’t comfortable with for any reason. Too big, too small, too heavy, too thin, you don’t need to be with anyone you aren’t attracted to.

I put my standards at obnoxious, opionated people.

 

I'm not combative. I just don't avoid speaking up about double standards or men and women hypocritical ways. Speaking truth will always offend someone.

[Napoleon 230]

Napoleon, I respectfully disagree. A single man who has a particular preference isn't shallow - he's welcome to not interact with anyone he feels isn't his 'cup of tea.'

 

A man - or a woman - becomes 'shallow' when they actively disparage those people who they aren't enamored with.

 

I disagree. All of these "body-image" movements nowadays are trying to convince men that they should find overweight women just as attractive as non-overweight women. And if a woman want a man that's over 6 feet tall(body) it's her "preference" and everyone should accept it. But if a man want a woman that's not overweight he's demonized and called shallow for his "preference".

[cplnluv1 872]

I'm not combative. I just don't avoid speaking up about double standards or men and women hypocritical ways. Speaking truth will always offend someone.

 

I read your other posts on the forum, you are not a swinger and from what I also read you have nothing of impostor add here.

If you are who you say you are I would think you can reach more people by putting your name on buildings, planes, booze, schools and food products.

Your posts here might reach many and most agree that you have a negative approach to our lifestyle.

I see you already have a red mark next to your name. Opinions are welcome here, ever think about why that red square is there? Question is rhetorical, I am not looking for an answer.

[Napoleon 230]

I read your other posts on the forum, you are not a swinger and from what I also read you have nothing of impostor add here.

If you are who you say you are I would think you can reach more people by putting your name on buildings, planes, booze, schools and food products.

Your posts here might reach many and most agree that you have a negative approach to our lifestyle.

I see you already have a red mark next to your name. Opinions are welcome here, ever think about why that red square is there? Question is rhetorical, I am not looking for an answer.

 

I've been to a few swinger clubs in the past. That makes me a swinger(dispute that). Im not negative, I speak my mind just like everyone else does. And I'm not concerned with that silly red mark.

[padoc 1,703]

@Hazeleyes. I'll flirt a little too! We met a couple ay a party last winter. The woman was built much as you describe yourself. In her heels she and I were eye to eye and Im 6' tall. She too had relatively small boobs but that didn't matter, she was very pretty, confident and playful. Once the clothing came off, she was an AMAZING partner. Your body type is generally not the norm but I think a tall svelte woman is incredibly sexy.

 

Back to the question: Mrs Doc is 5'7 and she generally looks for men taller than she is but it's not carved in stone. For her, sex appeal really depends on the guy and his approach. If he's 5'6, smart, good looking and attentive he'll get her attention and maybe get very lucky where as a 6'2 muscle head won't get a 2nd look.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Napoleon, I tried.

 

You are combative, for the simple purpose of being combative, trying to get reactions. And that, sir, is called being a 'troll.'

[Napoleon 230]

Napoleon, I tried.

 

You are combative, for the simple purpose of being combative, trying to get reactions. And that, sir, is called being a 'troll.'

 

I'm really not trying to be combative nor am I trying to get a reaction.

[padoc 1,703]

I have news for you Nappy, going to a swingers club doesn't make you a swinger. It just makes you someone who can afford the price of admission. To be a swinger, you need a deep appreciation for women, you need to be playful and caring and giving. Buying your latest squeeze a ticket to get in the club isn't giving, it's you meeting your own selfish need for control and to instill envy in those who see you. Probably what you didn't like about the swinging atmosphere is that swingers tend to recognize one another and they saw you for what you are, selfish, insecure and more than a little weird. No pal, you're not a swinger and trust me when I tell you, you never will be.

[Napoleon 230]

I have news for you Nappy, going to a swingers club doesn't make you a swinger. It just makes you someone who can afford the price of admission. To be a swinger, you need a deep appreciation for women, you need to be playful and caring and giving. Buying your latest squeeze a ticket to get in the club isn't giving, it's you meeting your own selfish need for control and to instill envy in those who see you. Probably what you didn't like about the swinging atmosphere is that swingers tend to recognize one another and they saw you for what you are, selfish, insecure and more than a little weird. No pal, you're not a swinger and trust me when I tell you, you never will be.

 

That doesn't consider me a swinger? You really are silly.

 

And I do appreciate women. I have many women both in my personal and professional life. I'm just simply very clear on which women I will or will not stick my penis inside. And I'm playful, caring, and giving towards women deserving of my time. I'm not selfish. Selfish men cant get three beautiful young smart financially independent women to happily be with them in a relationship. And the women I'm with I give them orgasms and so much more in life. Their quality of life improves dramatically being with me. When they part ways with me they're doing so much better in life compared to before they met me. What all you do for women other than giving them orgasms??? Little man. And I asked my girlfriend if she would like to come with me. Had she said no I would have been ok with that. And I'm not trying to instill invy, that's stupid high school games. And myself and every other man and woman has insecurities. Little man. And you call me weird? I'll tell you what's a weird - me not even thinking about you at all when I'm on this site yet you responding to me more than everyone else combined. You're just a little Chihuahua with a big bark and not bite. You're not a swinger, little man. Now go see to that thing you call your wife. Stop bugging me, I don't even think about you when I'm on this site.

[cplnluv1 872]

It’s amazing how someone can post a long diatribe with one hand.

I for one will not pay any attention to any troll on this site. I will not play into a troll who is looking for confrontation and as others say adds nothing to the conversation.

My recommendation is ignore ignore ignore. It’s the best answer.

[Napoleon 230]

It’s amazing how someone can post a long diatribe with one hand.

I for one will not pay any attention to any troll on this site. I will not play into a troll who is looking for confrontation and as others say adds nothing to the conversation.

My recommendation is ignore ignore ignore. It’s the best answer.

 

I'm not trolling.

[Jane1902 476]

I don’t know how Nappy considers himself a swinger, no group sex experience, may have multiple partners but there is no interaction. Once upon a time his posts carried mild entertainment value. Now they are just boring and repetitive. None of his “girlfriends” have posted here. My next step is the ignore button. I recommend it, having used it before on another poster.

[Napoleon 230]

I don’t know how Nappy considers himself a swinger, no group sex experience, may have multiple partners but there is no interaction. Once upon a time his posts carried mild entertainment value. Now they are just boring and repetitive. None of his “girlfriends” have posted here. My next step is the ignore button. I recommend it, having used it before on another poster.

 

Every swinger can dictate what they want or do not want to experience. I don't have to have group sex experience to be considered a swinger. My girlfriends don't want to post anything. They have no desire to. And if I didn't have to keep repeating myself, I wouldn't. And by all means hit the ignore button. ? Fine with me.

[padoc 1,703]

You've had NO swinger experience. So you're not a swinger. I can walk into a hospital in a white lab coat and consider myself a doctor but what I am is NOT a doctor. I'd be a poser or a wannabe but I'd certainly not be a doctor. See where Im going with that? Look in a mirror, Im sure you have one in every room. BTW, Im grateful that you don't think about me while you're on the site but I knew that, you're too busy thinking about yourself and trying to enhance your false narrative that you're some kind of wunderkind when you're actually a weird, socially awkward little guy who is trying to hide his insecurities behind a lot of uninformed bluster and half baked opinions backed up by made up statistics. You're actually kinda pitiful.

[WSB421 91]

Napoleon has actually contributed something to my experience on this site, I just learned how to use the ignore feature!

[Numex 2,416]

It’s amazing how someone can post a long diatribe with one hand.

I for one will not pay any attention to any troll ..

I'm not trolling.

So you do not deny typing with one hand?

[Numex 2,416]

... half baked opinions backed up by made up statistics. .

I read that 42.7% of statistics are made up, and fully 89.3% of all opinions on the internet are half baked or less.

[Numex 2,416]

.. I just learned how to use the ignore feature!

I'm going to try using it on myself. No sense in re-reading what I have written.

[Napoleon 230]

Napoleon has actually contributed something to my experience on this site, I just learned how to use the ignore feature!

 

Ha ha ha, ?

[Napoleon 230]

You've had NO swinger experience. So you're not a swinger. I can walk into a hospital in a white lab coat and consider myself a doctor but what I am is NOT a doctor. I'd be a poser or a wannabe but I'd certainly not be a doctor. See where Im going with that? Look in a mirror, Im sure you have one in every room. BTW, Im grateful that you don't think about me while you're on the site but I knew that, you're too busy thinking about yourself and trying to enhance your false narrative that you're some kind of wunderkind when you're actually a weird, socially awkward little guy who is trying to hide his insecurities behind a lot of uninformed bluster and half baked opinions backed up by made up statistics. You're actually kinda pitiful.

 

Little man padoc created the "worldwide" swinger manual on what's considered a swinger and what's not considered a swinger. What a joke.

 

And I can walk into a hospital wearing a little-man Halloween costume and a nametag(padoc), maybe I can convince everyone in the hospital I'm you, maybe I can't.

[Napoleon 230]

"So you do not deny typing with one hand?"

 

 

Ha ha. ✋

 

I'm a two hand typer.

[padoc 1,703]

I see that you missed the point entirely Nappy. Go back and re-read. You'll get your participation trophy at the end.

[PSULioness 856]

I see that you missed the point entirely Nappy. Go back and re-read. You'll get your participation trophy at the end.

 

Cpl has it right, ignore him. He is getting off from all the negative comments. He gets to post three more times for every negative post about him. Ignore him as Cpl said and he will do the best thing, play with himself. Let him have his ball and go home.

[enhancer 1,585]

Yes many women have a height requirement on their profile! Just like some people have boob size, penis size, skinny, bbc, bbw, fit or whatever other size requirements on their profile. Some people are just very selective in what they are looking for in the lifestyle and that is their right. Just because someone likes to add someone else into their sex life doesn’t mean they want to add everyone else. If it is not what they are looking for then there is no point.

 

For ourselves if we are looking at a profile and see that one of us doesn’t meet their requirements we can respect that and don’t bother trying to contact them. If they happen to contact us we point out to them that we don’t meet that requirement and they will have to look elsewhere. Not interested in playing with people that are just settling for less then they want.

 

Also yes it is different for women in the lifestyle simply, because of supply and demand and due to most men just not being as picky about who they stick their dick in. Not always the case I know I am selective. There is probably 100 men to every woman looking for this kind of play so they are the ones who are going to have lots of options.

[adamgunn 1,460]

"if we are looking at a profile and see that one of us doesn’t meet their requirements we can respect that and don’t bother trying to contact them."

 

I so agree with you. If I find a profile of people we might like and we're just a little bit out of their desires, I might make contact. For example, if I was 52 and their upper age limit is 50, I might take a chance, but one of the first things in my opening message is, "I realize we're just a little bit out, if I offend you, please just ignore us." But if we're a long way out, I won't make contact.

 

On the other hand, we've been contacted many times by couples or singles where we're out of what they say they want. When I see that I chuckle, but go ahead with the communication. With one couple, we were 14 years above what they said they wanted; we wound up having a great time.