She's bi-curious, will that limit us?

[Mormon&Curious 15]

I have posted before and have appreciated all the thoughtful feedback. My wife brought up swinging a while back and we continue to do our research. My question this time regards bisexuality. I am not at all bi-curious, but my wife has some curiosity. Her concern is that if she tries it and does not like it, how much will that limit who we can play with?

 

I think her curiosity is two fold. On the one hand she is legitimately interested in exploring sex with a woman. On the other hand I think she feels that it helps my ego to think that her main motivation is to be with women. She has not said it specifically, but I suspect that may be the case. As for me, I don't care what her motivations are. Obviously my motivation is to have new sexual experiences with other women, so I am fine if her motivation is to have sex with other men.

 

All that aside, which is a non-issue that she thinks may be an issue, what happens if she does not like having sex with women? Will that greatly limit the number of people who will play with us?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

In a word, yes, it will limit the pool of people to play with simply because that's how it works in any anything where you have specifications. Do you only want to play with couples? Then that eliminates singles. Do you only want soft swap? Then that takes out couples who are only interested in full swap. Do you only want to play with couples who have purple hair and three arms? You get the idea. But keep in mind, your wife shouldn't be doing something that makes her uncomfortable once she's tried it just to satisfy someone else or to widen the search parameters. There are bi women who are more than happy to play straight and there are straight women who will gladly play with another couple who has a straight female. Don't worry about having a limited group of swingers, worry about just going out and having fun with your wife.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

It may limit, but I don't know about the greatly. Like sunbuckus said, every factor limits you in some way. Contrary to popular belief, swingers don't try to have sex with every single person they encounter , so we all are limiting ourselves in some way based on our attraction level to the other person. One of those limits is gender. Mrs cplnuswing identifies as straight, and we haven't had a problem with finding playmates, the vast majority of which the female identified as bi or bi-curious. From what I have seen, there is a huge spread between bi and bi-required. From our experience, it's fair to say the majority identify as the first, but the minority practice as the second.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

What they said. Most women who state that they are bi or bi-curious also respect it if a woman is not interested in playing with them. Just because someone says that they are (in some way) bi, doesn't mean bi-REQUIRED. Don't worry about it. This is supposed to be fun and she should enjoy it in any way that interests her. If it isn't fun, you shouldn't be playing...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . There are bi women who are more than happy to play straight and there are straight women who will gladly play with another couple who has a straight female. . . .

 

This is absolutely true. My wife and I consider ourselves very successful in the lifestyle and we are both as straight as arrows. Additionally, almost everybody with whom we play identify themselves as bi-sexual a curious about bi-sexuality.

 

Correlation does not imply causality. So I will not try to peg a reason to this. We simply know that being straight did not stack the odds against us.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

My wife is almost entirely straight. She has no interest in doing anything with another woman. I don't think it's adversely effected out swinging experiences. There are plenty of couples for whom female bisexuality isn't a requirement.

[Fours Company 169]

Similar to what everyone else has said, that although there is the potential to limit your options in the case of couples where bi-play is important or mandatory, but that will not be the case across the board since there are plenty willing to play it straight and respect your situation and choices in how you play.

 

As in our case, although we prefer others were the woman is truly Bi and not just curious or bi-situational (or they just claim Bi on their profile to get more hits) and wanting to interact with Mrs. Fours equally, we are always willing to limit g/g with a straight-female couple. Preferences are just that and not the end-all-to-be-all of having a good time.

 

So while in one way it might limit meeting a few couples you may want to be with, I don't think by much. Just be clear up front about your preferences and limits and don't feel you have to compromise on them in order to meet fun people and your find they will come to you.

[81lizard69 470]

Bi people play straight. We have played with many couples who are bi... we are not bi and lived through every experience.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Mormon&Curious, have you two explored your wife's bi-curiosity? We'd love to hear an update if possible!

[FlirtyGirl 20]

I am bi-curious cause I truly want to be with a woman, but it is not required....all it means for me is it's on the table and if she asks I wouldn't say no......but I wouldn't push the issue. It would be the same as me being in her shoes....if I didn't want her to touch me I would just say so, but if I changed my mind I know she would also be open to the option of my invitation.

[Mochacino 188]

I am Bi but we NEVER make that a requirement in our play. Our profiles even states let us know ahead of time if G/G play is not an option. Or if a woman is just curious. We understand! We just hate when women claim to be Bi in order to "cast a wider net" so to speak. It makes me wonder what else they aren't being exactly truthful about.

[Guest]

I am not at all bi and that we state that in our profile. We also let other couples know that in advance. Even with that said, I have had women go down on me. In some cases, it's as if they are "preparing" me for their husband as a part of their ritual or that I will suck their husband while they do me. It all works out. Typically then, the woman in some fashion then moves on to focus her full attention on my husband as we couple off.

[couplers 4,614]

Hi, Petra here giving my experience for what it's worth. Originally, I would never have thought myself as being bi at all. That changed when we went from strictly MFM "V" with my steady boyfriend, to hubby having girlfriends. As I began to watch and participate my lezzie side started coming out. At first I rationalized it as being hetero play with hubby: working his dick into her pussy, sucking his dick after it was in her, to licking them both from underneath as they did it doggie and eating her out after hubby came in her - and letting her do those same things to me. Eventually hubby settled on a favorite, Clair, who now is part of our poly group and I no longer make any pretense to myself that I don't have a lesbian side. Since Clair lives with us now, there are times that the interaction is FF, just Clair and me.

 

So let it start wherever you are comfortable and just let it slowly goes where it may. It depends on how your wife's feelings change and her meeting the right woman.

[FlirtyGirl 20]

I just are not gonna lie I find women attractive...there is not very much sexy to the male anatomy...penises are kinda creepy....lol if it wasn't that they were so fun and felt too damn good ladies probably wouldn't invite their staring one-eyedness over to play. Women are just sexy and pretty to look at and touch....but that's my personal opinion

[Mochacino 188]

I just are not gonna lie I find women attractive...there is not very much sexy to the male anatomy...penises are kinda creepy....lol if it wasn't that they were so fun and felt too damn good ladies probably wouldn't invite their staring one-eyedness over to play. Women are just sexy and pretty to look at and touch....but that's my personal opinion

Yep! Plus women are soft and smell good!

[FlirtyGirl 20]

I just are not gonna lie I find women attractive...there is not very much sexy to the male anatomy...penises are kinda creepy....lol if it wasn't that they were so fun and felt too damn good ladies probably wouldn't invite their staring one-eyedness over to play. Women are just sexy and pretty to look at and touch....but that's my personal opinion

 

 

 

I don't require it for couple play...I just state so the female knows it's welcome.

[Sirramm 111]

I don't think it would 'limit' things unless you choose to allow it to. My wife isn't bi or even curious but when playing with a couple where the wife was bi she has allowed the other woman to orally stimulate her but drew the line at kissing her or returning the favor. I'm an openly orally bi male (don't kiss or have sex with other men) and we've played with couples and single males who have no desire to try bi and we still had fun. Basically we check our desires and play within prearranged parameters. If she tries it and doesn't like it that doesn't mean she can't, shouldn't, or want to try it again later down the road. There are times I have no desire for my 'kinks' and then there are times they run rough shot over me! LOL Go slow, jump in when you feel like you fit in and just have a GREAT time!!! In the end it's just sex!!!!!

[couplers 4,614]

Yep! Plus women are soft and smell good!

 

A trick I learned from my older sister when she was in high school and I in junior high - don't wear perfume, put your finger inside your pussy then wipe it around behind your ear lobes. Makes the boys frisky. I don't know where my sister learned it, but it was almost certainly not from mom.

[SwingSetWife 444]

A trick I learned from my older sister when she was in high school and I in junior high - don't wear perfume, put your finger inside your pussy then wipe it around behind your ear lobes. Makes the boys frisky. I don't know where my sister learned it, but it was almost certainly not from mom.

Wait, what??? Sorry but that really icks me out

[FlirtyGirl 20]

Wait, what??? Sorry but that really icks me out

 

Seriously does that work? You sure that wasn't an older sister messing with you.

[couplers 4,614]

Wait, what??? Sorry but that really icks me out

 

 

Seriously does that work? You sure that wasn't an older sister messing with you

 

 

It helps you find a guy (or girl) that is unafraid to go down there and is willing, or even better eager, to give a girl oral. It got me excited every time a guy would give me even a friendly a hug and end up drawing in a deep, deep breathe or two.

 

I saw my sister do it at least a couple of times. Certainly I did it. I believe it has something to do with pheromones. Maybe some find it icky, but that could be a good thing, separating those that like having their face in pussy from those that don't.

[FlirtyGirl 20]

I'll feel silly doing it but I'll try it...

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

I am out and bi, but I know that there is no promise that I will hook up with both the male and female in a couple. I recognize that the woman may not want to play, or that the couple may not be interested in all. There's a lot of factors but I wouldn't worry about it. As long as someone is honest, respectful, and polite then it should be ok.

[couplers 4,614]

I am out and bi, but I know that there is no promise that I will hook up with both the male and female in a couple. I recognize that the woman may not want to play, or that the couple may not be interested in all. There's a lot of factors but I wouldn't worry about it. As long as someone is honest, respectful, and polite then it should be ok.

 

I think overall women are more comfortable with the concept of same sex play, it's just the activity, how far, they are willing to take it. Almost any woman, I believe, will run her hands along a woman's body and caress another woman's breasts. As you move to other forms of intimacy the percentage of women doing those goes down. But it changes over time and with the particular woman she finds herself playing with. That's the way it was with me, from "no way" to full on, total intimacy with the right woman.

[Mochacino 188]

I'll feel silly doing it but I'll try it...

 

Right? I am going to try... I have NEVER heard of that!

[couplers 4,614]

A trick I learned from my older sister when she was in high school and I in junior high - don't wear perfume, put your finger inside your pussy then wipe it around behind your ear lobes.

 

Right? I am going to try... I have NEVER heard of that!

 

I'll feel silly doing it but I'll try it...

 

 

Please let me know what happens, I truly believe it works.

 

My experience may be from a self-selective group. The (three) guys I have sex with get extremely excited at the scent and taste of vaginal juices, and I get immense satisfaction when one of the boys goes from a pussy into my mouth immediately before or after he ejaculates.

[MxCouple87 21]

I don't think it will limit who you can play with, so far all couple have been respectful as if your wife is not interested, and the other wife is bi, she will respect that. For me, Ive only played with 3 women so far, so far for me and determining how bi I am in the moment depends on my attraction to the other woman. 1st full swap all I did was kiss the lady, and we just didn't click. 2nd couple we met, I couldn't get enough of her, and we were so caught up in each to her guys watched for a while Just tell her to be open and follow what she feels....some women are hot and fun, some not as much for me. Have fun!!

[LFM2 1,482]

I'm bi and it's never limited whom we play with. We're comfortable if the other woman wants to play with me, but it's not a requirement. Most don't know until we're asked.

[SwingSetWife 444]

I think overall women are more comfortable with the concept of same sex play, it's just the activity, how far, they are willing to take it. Almost any woman, I believe, will run her hands along a woman's body and caress another woman's breasts. As you move to other forms of intimacy the percentage of women doing those goes down. But it changes over time and with the particular woman she finds herself playing with. That's the way it was with me, from "no way" to full on, total intimacy with the right woman.

 

I find this to be very true. I have known straight women that will kiss or even fondle another woman's breasts/ass on the dance floor, but have no interest in sleeping with a woman. I also find that women can be very flirty with other women, even if one or both is straight.

 

OP- I don't think it will limit you as long as you are upfront with the other couple beforehand. If the other woman can't respect your boundaries, they are probably not a couple you want to play with anyway.

[couplers 4,614]

I have known straight women that will kiss or even fondle another woman's breasts/ass on the dance floor, but have no interest in sleeping with a woman.

 

Thinking back, girls, young girls, dance with each other in a non-sexual way. Boys never do. It's innate - girls are more cuddly and cuddling, and less aggressive and threatening. Females being more comfortable with each other starts before sexual awareness.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

They also seem to like the response and attention they get afterwards from the boys as well...