This may sound odd....but proud of gf for swinging

[KMCouple 156]

Hey all,

 

So, my gf and I have been together almost a year, and during that time we have had 3 MFM encounters (one before we were 'official', one that lasted a few months with same guy, and one random vacation hookup). No issues/hang ups/problems with any of them, at least as far as she and I are concerned.

 

However, she has always been very hesitant on the subject of another girl involved. It's not that she doesn't like the idea. It's her past.

 

A few years ago, she was engaged to someone else. Her fiance was cheating on her with her best friend. It even was so bad as that her friend would ask my gf to babysit her child, and while she was, she would be hanging out/dating/sleeping with the fiance. Since she found out, she has had a lot of distrust for females in general.

 

She has sometimes felt a little bad that things couldn't be 'equal' with us. However the one time she said she "owed me" time with a girl, I shut that down hard. No one "owes" in the swinging world.

 

By pure chance, a couple we know through vanilla means, though they are not vanilla at all themselves, started to show interesting in maybe adding playtime to our usual vanilla activities.

 

All four of us knew that my gf was the most reserved, so through a few conversations/text messages, we all knew it would be up to her if anything happened.

 

So the other day, we had all gone to the new Xmen movie (go see it btw it's good) and were sitting around playing board games (yes we are geeks), when my gf reminded the wife of the couple that she had made a boast about how good her blowjob skills were a few weeks prior. A few minutes of conversation later, my gf had challenged the other girl to a blowjob contest. Us guys, not being idiots, did not disagree.

 

So we did a light swap, bj's only, some touching, and it worked out. All had fun, we all actually made dinner and played another board game after. Next day, lots of texts sent checking to make sure everyone was good all around. It seems so, and we have plans to see them next week. Plan is just to hang, if play happens it happens.

 

So it may sound weird, but I am proud of my gf for being willing to fight her fears, and not project her (justifiable) anger and hurt onto other people.

 

It may come across that she was 'pushed' into this, but the whole point of the tread was she wasn't. She was fighting her own past demons.

 

Swinging situations or not, it can be hard to trust again after one has been hurt/lied to/used. That's what I am proud of.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Trust is huge in doing this and it sounds like she trusts you enough to face her fears. Don't ever do anything to jeopardize that. At the same time, enjoy the ride!

[Sexinthetardis 76]

Sounds like you guys have a really sweet and supportive relationship, that's awesome! And yay for geeks

[KMCouple 156]

Update:

 

So a couple of days ago we went to see the couple again. As before, we all made dinner, chatted, played some games. My GF knew that play might be on the table, so we packed stuff in case that happened. After a few hours in, one conversation led to another, and the four of us ended up in the bedroom again.

 

This time we did do a same room full swap. Vibe was good, everyone seemed comfortable all around. Much fun was had by all. I was trying to keep a good read on her, because while she is very vocal about things bothering her, I've heard too many stories of people 'going with the flow' and then being upset later.

 

Afterwards nothing seemed awkward, we all hung around and chatted. Next day I asked her how everything was and she said she was fine. I did tell her I was a little surprised she had no hiccups, and she said she was honestly surprised she had no issues at all either. We talked a bit, and kind of both ended up at the conclusion that it was because this other couple is very obviously devoted to their marriage, that my gf didn't have any jealously/fears of any inappropriate emotional connection between me and the other wife.

 

So again, proud of her for facing fears and being able to enjoy this journey together.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Great for you both! Isn't communication wonderful? Keep us up to date with how things continue to evolve.

[Hippiegirlie 276]

KM,

I am very proud of you for being so supportive and gentle in understanding her situation. I'm glad she is growing as a person and you are there to help

[couplers 4,717]

Hey all,

 

So, my gf and I have been together almost a year, and during that time we have had 3 MFM encounters (one before we were 'official', one that lasted a few months with same guy, and one random vacation hookup). No issues/hang ups/problems with any of them, at least as far as she and I are concerned.

 

However, she has always been very hesitant on the subject of another girl involved.

 

You are like my darling hubby. It's not just communication, it being willing to give without the expectation of receiving. Early on my hubby let me play even though I was too jealous to reciprocate. Until one fine day I changed, had him screw my very willing girlfriend, and things have never been better for all of us. The journey is worth it.

[KMCouple 156]

Small Update:

 

We haven't seen the other couple again, but that has been complete scheduling. Since we saw them, no issues have come up between either couple (the other couple has some other recreational activities that are not vanilla, and while they had both individually had group play before in their pasts, this was their first as a couple). However, the girls are going off for a girls day together in a couple days. I mean this in a vanilla way (no one is comfortable with play without all present, at least at this point). My gf seems good with it, was my suggestion but she asked the other wife. She shows no apprehension to it. So we will see, but I would be surprised if there were problems at this point.

[KMCouple 156]

You are like my darling hubby. It's not just communication, it being willing to give without the expectation of receiving. Early on my hubby let me play even though I was too jealous to reciprocate. Until one fine day I changed, had him screw my very willing girlfriend, and things have never been better for all of us. The journey is worth it.

 

I can agree with this way of thinking. To be honest, I was HOPING we could get another female involved eventually, but I was never doing it for that reason. I enjoy watching her with someone else; I had good times with the other MFM situations. That was why I was upset when she said she 'owed' me. Yes, she knew I wanted it, but I rarely (like once every 3 months or so) even brought up the subject for discussion.

 

We got really lucky with this couple. We had all hung out a few times, some very candid discussions were had, but no one had suggested anything. By pure chance, after a good vanilla night with them, my gf and I had been discussing the option of group play. I am friends with the wife from years back (strange non-romantic history that has led us to complete honesty), so I knew if I shot a feeler question and the answer was no it would be cool. I texted her, but what I didn't know was that her husband had sent ME an email that I hadn't checked asking similar feeler questions, on the same day. The fact that all four of us were trying to broach the subject without each others knowledge made us all instantly comfortable.

 

As you said, it's the journey.