Question for women - how and why did you start swinging?
By
eldiablo311, in Swingers Talk
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Similar Content
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By Interestme82
Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well.
We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax.
Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard.
I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it.
I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes?
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By KatrinaandDriverX
For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is).
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By Billygoat
From a open discussion with LS friends on Friday night. Everyone at the table have been in the LS for eight or more years and have been quite active and have explored and experienced various activities and fantasies that interested them. The common thread was the women present ( several wives, girlfriends and three single ladies) had all experienced and enjoyed having at the least two men (MFM) to several at a time (or throughout the evening at a party). It didn’t take long into this conversation for it to turn into a ladies only animated conversation of their experiences and accomplishments with only their husbands/boyfriends asked to chime in verification/confirmation of the event, act or result of the experience. Hands down all of us males had enjoyed whatever happened in the shared stories.
It was awesome to sit and listen to these women sharing their adventures, thoughts and results of their experiences and there was quite a bit of excited chatter and teasing…..lots of loud shouts and laughter. I was glad due to our number and time of the evening we were seated at the back corner of the dining area well away from the few dinners still present. I am sure there were a few servers who got an ear full.
One noticeable revelation from observing all this was the common result of these experiences for the women. All revealed in one way or another the personality…..confidence…..level of comfort the all experienced as a result of their sexual sharing and experiences in the LS. Echoed by their spouses (those present).
1. Ability now to discuss openly anything with their SO.
2. Discuss, ask for what ever they had an interest in, desire, openly on any topic as well as sexually.
3. All openly discussed that sexually in their private lives prior to the lifestyle they rarely if ever initiated any activity with their SO only were reactive to initiation by their SO. And NEVER asked for or discussed their personal desires, needs or fantasies. (the single ladies present agreed they felt the same with any partner they might have. Including the husbands and boyfriends of other women that they shared)
4. Their personal sexual/sensual lives in their relationship have become broadened and deeper, a much closer intimacy (not just sexual) then before. Far more satisfying.
It was not just a fun evening out together as a group (sex was not part of this evening at all, just social gathering) but so enlightening.
Sitting having coffee this morning it occurred to me that all this, generally, is probably true to some level to anyone who is involved at some level in the LS. Dependent of course on what level or type of involvement in an alternative Lifestyle they are in. I also thought that there are common takeaways:
1. Situational shyness, intimidation, lack of confidence, appearance concerns and feelings/concern of being judged negatively.
2. That last part “feelings/concern of being judged negatively” is they largest shared issue that women have. From the time they are self aware 6, 7, 8 years old and on…..they are told, threatened, educated etc that their sex is private, not to be displayed shared discussed experienced and in many cases told any negative experiences are their fault….not being a good girl.
3. The confidence, personal strength, emotional discovery over growth and feeling at peace with themselves. Acceptance of who they are.
4. Sexual preferences and desires. Even with in their group a funny but eye opening discussion…and truth concerning size, preferred size and what/how it all relates. It really isn’t what it seems. LOL
everyone grows in this lifestyle to their own comfort level. But to watch these women and listen to them (including my Queen) was just hands down amazing. This group of women discussing to only their experiences but some of their not yet experienced fantasies/desires. Their emotions. Support…..no negative judgements at all. Even bragging rights and one up man ship between them. A chance to get a peak into a part of the LS not often discussed……at-least with males present.
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By Santokos
First of all I would like to apologise for my English , as it’s not my first language. I’m a married guy and I just told my wife that my fantasy is to have sex with her and to be watched. So my question is what is better as a first timer , to go with my wife to a swingers club or to just meet another couple and have same room sex. What do you guys suggest? I’m not into wife swap. I just love to be watched
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By sunbuckus
Awhile back, a thread made a comment about sex being different for women because we're accepting something to be inserted inside our bodies whereas men don't. I suppose it's like saying it's easier for everyone to want to explore something by poking our finger at something but we're much more sensitive about someone putting something into our ears.
Do you think there's anything to this? Does a woman require a bit more trust in their sex partner than a man does because something will be going inside them instead of doing the insertion? Or could there be something else to it?
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