Why aren't all these Bi girls really bisexual?

[lotsoffun201 175]

Ok, so we were talking last night. It seems that I'm (the mrs) in the minority when it comes to female female play. While I like a little girl teasing, dancing etc, I just don't find bisexual play all that great as I prefer men. Our profile implies we think its a good icebreaker and it is, but to me it's not the end all be all for us. My hubby says there are more couples who have a female half who feels the way I do so we posted this poll and thread to see how others feel.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

One of the minor, secondary reasons we started swinging was for Mrs two4you to explore her curiosity with bi play. After a couple of years of swinging, she discovered that she was "no longer curious, and not really bi". She enjoys kissing girls, a lot. But, that's about all she enjoys doing with girls. She usually gets her girl kissing fix taken care of at the clubs, long before we actually play with anyone. Her actual playtime is now about 99% straight play.

 

We switched her listing in our profile back to straight, and started getting a few hits from couples that said they contacted us because she was listed as straight. Further proof that no matter what your orientation is, or what you're interested in, be honest about it in a profile. Someone, somewhere is probably looking for the same.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

We switched her listing in our profile back to straight, and started getting a few hits from couples that said they contacted us because she was listed as straight. Further proof that no matter what your orientation is, or what you're interested in, be honest about it in a profile. Someone, somewhere is probably looking for the same.

 

She is straight so is listed as such in our profile, and we have had several couples tell us the same thing. I agree, honesty is always the best policy, and we automatically take people to mean what they say. We don't pass up couples just because the other girl may list as bi to whatever degree, but if they make it sound like the bi play is an important thing with them, then we assume that to be true and will likely pass. I have often suspected that for some the girl-girl isn't as important as they make it sound though, but more a deal where they are talking it up just because they think they need to talk it up.

[Fours Company 169]

One thing we've been noticing since we came back into the LS is the dwindling supply of true bi-women. The main reason we originally contemplated swinging years ago was for a girl/girl encounter, but unlike the example two4you mentioned above, Mrs. Fours found that she enjoyed it to the degree she still does...sometimes equally, sometimes more depending on the other guy. Unfortunately, as mentioned, too many of the couples we have found where the female is listed as bi or bi-curious are anything but. Sure they may be of the "kiss-kiss and rub some titties" type, that seem to predominate the clubs, but that's as far as it goes. While Mrs. Fours enjoys other men and I certainly enjoy seeing her with them, she is also one of the rare types it seems who also can get off going down on another woman or being pleased herself.

 

Nothing disappoints us both than alleged bi-women who only want to play with me or at the most will allow her to do oral, but don't reciprocate, especially when she was attracted to the woman and found with the male half she was stuck with the short end of the stick both figuratively and literally.

 

While bi-play is by no means a necessity and we are always willing to limit it to opposite gender sex with another couple where the female is listed as straight it would be nice to find a couple with a real bi-female eventually as she hasn't been with a girl in years and she does sometimes need more than another man.

 

We are always honest when communicating with other couples where the female is straight that while Mrs. Fours might find herself attracted to the other woman we will always respect their limits and just wish others would be upfront about their preferences especially if the other female claims bi-tendencies. In fact, it might seem more preferable sometimes to seek out couples where the woman is listed as straight just to avoid the broken expectation of bi-play that will never happen because couple choose to misrepresent themselves.

[NYFlirts 158]

We've met scores and scores of women that their profiles (and in person) state that they are bi-sexual.

 

My wife is super beautiful and sexy and girls tell her all the time how much they like her.

 

What's odd is that all these girls sure don't seem bi. I mean, I see how much the guys fawn over my wife and at any hint of an invitation will flirt, paw all over her, and do all they can to be with her. Conversely, when my wife is flirty with "bi" girls they seem friendly and flirty back... but their interest level is FAR FAR from the interest she gets from guys.

 

So, what do you think is going on?

 

I'm wondering if it's possible girls really just aren't into my wife (which would honestly be incredibly shocking) or is it that from my perspective as a guy, I'm biased in how a person shows interest in another person? Specifically, guys are more inclined to really show outward signs of interest by being assertive more so than girls usually are.

 

It's just really odd that these girls talk about how excited they are to be with other girls, but when they have a super hot girl on their lap they act more like it's a fun friend hanging out vs. getting totally turned on and fixated on my wife... which is how all the guys act.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I can only speak from my experience.

 

I am bi. I'm not super hot. I would consider myself cute and pretty with an average body. I like girls who are cute/pretty and average.

 

I usually won't come on to a girl who has a model body. If they flirt with me, I think they are just being flirty/nice.

 

Also most girls in general do not behave the same as men in sexual situations. We hear on the board all the time, "It's hard to tell if she's interested..." Most girls don't fawn over or paw people they don't already know well (some definitely do, but not most).

 

In our area of the country there is tons of g/g play on the dance floor and at clubs and parties. I've been to swing clubs in other states and didn't notice nearly as much g/g play.

 

I would say if your wife is interested in someone, she may need to make the first move. You could also ask the girls what their experience is, what they like about bi play, when/how they realized they were bi, could they/have they had a girl as a significant other etc. Then you'll know more about what bi means to them.

[NYFlirts 158]

Those are some excellent points!

 

I totally get what you're saying about some girls coming off like "they are just being flirty/nice"... we've run into them plenty of times. Fortunately I don't think my wife comes off that way, but it is entirely possible.

 

I also agree that girls are hard to read.

 

So, the answer to both of those potential concerns is this: When we find a girl that we know is bi, the Mrs. needs to be pretty damn overt / assertive if she really likes the girl. That way the girl will know my wife isn't just "being flirty" and that there won't be room for misinterpretation of her interest / intent.

[LaceySterling 19]

I think us girls just have a different style of flirting! Another thing is I have noticed at parties most men EXPECT woman to be bi-sexual which isn't always so. Some are "bi-friendly" and will flirt but will not play with a girl...

[Hippiegirlie 276]

I agree with the above comments. Men and woman don't flirt the same way with the opposite sex vs. the same sex. Perhaps you (and she) are not picking up the cues from women because you are looking for more typical male responses.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Interesting. I've noticed the opposite in these areas. The straight girls often have to fight off the bi-furious women that assume that it's OK to walk right up and kiss them, and play grab-ass.

[81lizard69 470]

My wife is drop dead gorgeous and we get the opposite effect. She is on the smaller side and the larger butch women will come on to her like a man. My wife does not have a bi bone in her body, but for some reason bi women love her.

[LaceySterling 19]

Interesting. I've noticed the opposite in these areas. The straight girls often have to fight off the bi-furious women that assume that it's OK to walk right up and kiss them, and play grab-ass.

 

One party I was at there was one "STRAIGHT" woman and when she went on the bed to play I asked her nicely if it was ok to kiss her and she stated that it was not, that she was straight. Then I turned and kissed the girl beside me as we both got laid.

 

So, in essence we can all meld together and have fun, it is a matter of asking permission and knowing how to true to yourself. I now think of this woman as a friend and we all have partied together since then...and have fun.

 

You just should have been in the room when she stood up later that first evening and stated "I am straight so all you men get in line, all the girls can have their girl time"

[NYFlirts 158]

FINALLY!

 

We were at a party last night and a super attractive girl went for my wife HARD CORE! They had amazing chemistry and it was incredible to see them go at each other.

 

As they were making out, her guy and I got to talking. Turns out he said his girl is pretty shy, but he knew she liked my wife the moment she walked into the room. He said he had to encourage her kinda strongly to flirt with my wife. What's funny is after reading this thread I also encouraged my wife before the party to be more assertive and make it clear to other girls (who are clearly into girls) that she's into them.

 

So, a big THANK YOU to y'all for your great ideas and comments!

[MxCouple87 21]

Glad to see she found someone she connected with For me, I am super bi but, it depends on the lady. We have to have a super connection for me to go into it full force, if I'm not into her it's just weird for me. But I've found I'm a lot more selective in the ladies than I am the men...hard to explain. Just tell her to follow her feelings

[ViSexual 1,008]

Men and woman don't flirt the same way with the opposite sex vs. the same sex.

 

Hippiegirlie, you really struck a nerve with me there. I've never really thought about it but if a guy flirts with me, it's very uncomfortable for me. I'm a incurable flirt when it comes to women but I would never flirt with a man. It's just simply different even though I enjoy sex with men.

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

From my personal experience, it really depends on the person. There is the stereotype that bisexual women are only "bi curious" or are really straight. That is not true.

 

When I realized I was attracted to women I thought I was a lesbian because men were pissing me off, I found women sexy, and there wasn't any support groups or women/men that I knew were bisexual, so I felt I had to "choose" a side. A few years ago I would've considered myself straight, but now I realize that yes, I am bisexual.

 

There are many factors when it comes to it...maybe they were just curious and when it came down to business they freaked out...but it has nothing to do with you. And trust me, don't be discouraged we do exist. I thought I was the only one, then I moved to CA and found a group of people that got me. We're everywhere. lol

[herpob 559]

I appreciate the beauty of females, their bodies, their minds, and their touch. I do not desire them, want them, seek them out but as I said I do appreciate them and I have no problem doing things with them if the situation moved to that. For example, I'd do pretty much anything with another female if my husband wanted me to or if a hot couple hit on us and we decided to swap or share I'd go with the flow and let happen what ever happens. Of course I attack another female if it turned my husband on enough to have a go at a few guys while we watched one another. So I more of an incidental bisexual creature. I'll not stifle the direction the sex heads unless it is harmful in some way to me or my husband.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Ms. Gold has said numerous times that she is bi-friendly and NOT bi. She has admitted to having crushes on other women since she was a girl. She has kissed the lips of other women, both ' regular' kisses and tongue swapping full steam smoking hot passionate kisses. She had kissed every part of another woman's body and had every part of her body kissed by another woman...and admitted that she really loved doing it and having it done to her. She has used sex toys on another woman and had another woman use sex toys on her...including a strap on and a double dildo. Still, she is not bi, and I'm ok with that...

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

My favorite quote of all time... we were at a club for a bi-ladies night. My wife got to chatting with another woman, and they seemed to be hitting it off. Or so I thought until I heard the other woman say, "I'm bi in the sense that I'm not repulsed by women." (emphasis hers) We quickly excused ourselves and I don't think I ever heard my wife laugh so hard.

 

For what it's worth, once the laughing fit was over, we had a perfectly lovely evening with her and her husband.

[msgemily 30]

It takes some time for me to like a girl. As along with appearance i also look for intellectual and emotional vibe. It's a huge turn-on for me.

 

I would consider myself "hot" in terms that I get hit on by guys and girls all the time and being Eastern European blond I've a certain "unique look" for US culture.

 

But I let the girls believe I'm a snob and see if they wanna go that extra mile I am in a beautiful Master-slave relationship. and this also is such a huge turn-on when my bisexuality is not been seen as a one night hookup kind of thing. I am submissive with my master but dominant in my role with other women and like my girls to be submissive. That also plays a huge role.

[76dragonflies 21]

As a true bi female, I have found that it is very difficult to venture who is and who is not into you. Mostly all women will compliment another woman on damn near everything. "Wow, I wish my tits were that perky".. "those jeans make your ass look great". Are they flirting? Or, are they just being a girl because that's what we do? I'll be honest, I didn't have time to read all responses to your post so I apologize if I am doubling up on a question. Has your wife had a chance to spend time alone with these women to secure the "girl" thing? Glass of wine and a few giggles before hand perhaps....

[Guest sandraandalex]

I find, as the wife, this works really well. Talking with the other girl. Using two fingers, simply stroke a few inches of her arm and say, "Well, you seem amazingly fun." It's amazingly non threatening and communicates everything. You'll have your answer in short order.

 

For me, the first time I went bi, it was this nearly immediate realization that I could enjoy a girl. We were playing with this couple. She had been flirty, then she leaned in to kiss me and I thought, 'what the heck, I'll try it." It didn't hurt that she was very feminine and knew what she wanted. She had me naked in moments, so turned on, on my knees in short order and licking her pussy and I literally could not help myself. Alex was amazed. Shortly after that, she blew Alex while he watched her husband bend me over the couch, fucking me into next week. I had never experienced being 'taken' like that. I totally loved it.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Personally, I look at a woman's fingernails. This indicator is far from foolproof, but in general, if she plays with girls a lot, she won't have overly long nails. And if she does, I'm not sure I'd want to play with her anyway!

[kikonkrome 843]

I think it's a cultural thing. We have been to some parties where the women are REALLY aggressive. We have been to others where everything straight or bi is understated.

[enhancer 1,581]

We have heard it all when it comes to the bi woman subject! Terms like bi-selective, bi-receptive and bi-situational. We have also came to the conclusion that many say they are bi or will flirt with other women just to make their husband happy. Ms Enhancer is bi sexual. Just as attracted to women as men. In the lifestyle she leans more to being with other women probably, because she already has a man. She does not hide it in anyway when we are at parties and it is something that is put out there very quickly when meeting new people at a party. She has no interest in being flirty with or playing with another woman that is doing it to make the men happy. She likes to be with women who like her are doing it for their own pleasure. She doesn't seem to have any problem finding them. Probably, because she is not shy at all about expressing herself when it comes to the ladies.

[JessicaJamison 858]

I am most definitely Bisexual, and I do not think I have ever pawed at a woman I was interested in, that is a guy move, and honestly it's not a good one.  I do show affection though, so when I am into a woman she generally knows with certainty I am down for Sapphic delights.