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Jarmst4

First MFM threesome: no erection

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Me and my wife have been married for 10 years and have always talked about it, now we finally tried it. We both had a blast even thought things didn't work out so well. The guy we picked for our first threesome ended up being so nervous he couldn't get it up. I left the room and gave him and her about 30 mins. As soon as I came back to the room he went limp again. Me and her started going at it while he watched. He rubbed and kissed on her and she was sucking him but nothing worked. We both kept reassuring him, but he just stayed too nervous I guess. It was such a big turn on for me watching them mess around. He was a really cool guy and would like to give him another chance. We felt comfortable enough with him she is going to his place alone while I'm at work. See if he can get it up, that way maybe next time he will be ok with all of us. Any suggestions, or has this happened to anyone else? Our luck, we finally did it and he couldn't get it up. Haha.

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That's not very unusual, especially if the guy you picked is new to it. My wife and I have one longtime friend we have played with for years. He doesn't have difficulty getting and staying hard, but he does have difficulty actually cumming even though we have been playing with him for years. Another guy we have played with a few times has great difficulty getting hard. I have found that if I leave the room, he does get hard and actually cums in my wife.

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Yea. I'm hoping when she's alone with him he won't have any problems. Maybe after a few more times he'll be ok.

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Although we don't haven't used any of them, don't they have a pill for that?

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Very common. I think what you described is the biggest help (non pharmaceutical), simply staying relaxed and being able to enjoy the other parts of sex that don't require a hardon.

Not every situation is storybook perfect, but I think you guys did a good job making the most of it. I especially want to commend you both for keeping a positive attitude, and being willing to persist. You'll definitely get out of it, the positive effort you're putting in.

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For our first MFM, in fact, our first swinging experience, we used the male half of a couple that approached us about swinging. His experience helped. Also, limit your and his drinking to just one or two before hand.

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It has been my experience that once a guy is stiff enough to work it in, then he stays erect. The best non-pharmaceutical help for getting him to this point is doing oral on the guy. With oral, the stimulation can start when he's totally limp (something I actually like), and there is lots of control.

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Our first ongoing threesome partner suffered from the same issues. He could get hard but as soon as I arrived he'd deflate within a few minutes. I used to walk out of the room and give them 5-10 minutes to get going again. Once he started to get closer to the moment it seemed to disappear but definitely was a problem. Not to mention I was getting left out a lot.

 

I finally told him he needed to get over it and use some ED pills or we'd find someone else. That fixed the problem.

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My wife and I had our first MFM earlier this year, and he wasn't able to get hard when we took him back to the room that night because, mostly drinking too much I think. He passed out and the next morning we were all sober, and he was able to get hard, but unfortunately it wasn't very good for my wife because mainly he didn't seem that into it...my wife wanted him to take her, and fuck her...but I think he was nervous and weirded out a little bit. We are going to try again at some point, hopefully better luck this next time!

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Well she's out with him now. I'm off work and she won't be home till the morning. I'm about to pace a hole in the floor waiting for details!

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As the invited male part of an mfm, I can say that it is somewhat nerve wracking the first time you go with a couple. Thank goodness I've been blessed with getting and staying hard without any pharmaceutical help. What really gets and keeps me hard is kissing ... even more so than oral. Am I weird or do others have that same reaction to kissing?

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yourktownvaguy> I can totally understand that. Before I met my wife, I was talking emailing/talking with the husband or this hot wife, he was feeling me out to possibly have sex with his wife with him in the same room. I was really close to meeting up with them when I met my current wife, so I dropped it. However, I was kind of freaked out by the idea of another man being in the same room with me while I have sex! You kind of grow up with the idea that you hide your hard on from other people and especially guys at all costs if you have one! I think that is kind of ingrained in you as a boy! LOL

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The wife commented on this earlier but I thought I would add from the male perspective. We had no problems at all on our first MFM. I was a bit nervous, the MFM wasn't really part of my fantasy it just became an agreed upon first step towards my goal couples activity. We had spent an evening with the other guy and his wife a month ago, but just hitting the bars and strip clubs in Key West so it wasn't as if she knew him or had any prior experience with him. But she didn't hesitate at kissing him or going down on him and then me back and forth. She sucked him first and then moved to me and my dick was already up. My concern about possible jealousy disappeared into sexual excitement as I watched her decide who to fuck and to suck next. I could hardly wait for the next time.

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What really gets and keeps me hard is kissing ... even more so than oral. Am I weird or do others have that same reaction to kissing?
I don't think that's odd at all. When I'm getting a blowjob, I'm still able to view everything that's going on around me. If there were something that would make me nervous, the blowjob might distract me from it, but it wouldn't block it out. Kissing is different. The fact that the woman is literally, in my face means that she can effectively block (both visually, and in awareness) the rest of the world. Additionally, kissing doesn't necessarily preclude other activity, like a handjob or at least groping and rubbing.

 

So, a good kisser can most certainly help get the ball rolling.

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If I notice that he is nervous I'll go first. Watching her getting fucked usually makes him hard. If not she'll suck him. If I notice that is not working I'll leave the room.

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Well, things didn't work out so well. She stayed with him and they had a great time. They had sex all night. She came home and told me all about it and we had sex a few times. He calls her today and tells my wife he can't see us anymore because he has a GF and feels horrible. Then he tells us he lied about his age, considerably older than what he said. My wife told him he was an ass. I don't understand why you would go so far then think about how supposedly committed he is to his GF. Back to the start now.

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well thats a bummer sorry to hear that. I always thought I screened guys pretty well till one day I called a play partners phone and his wife answered I never told my wife about that just made up an excuse ahs to why we needed to keep lookin

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Yea. Originally he told us he was single and 33. He's actually been with the girl for years and is 37. We are both 28, so that's getting up there for us.

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I'm sorry you had that experience. People like that give singles a bad name in the LS. Fortunately there are really good people out there so keep looking and best of luck!

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What really gets and keeps me hard is kissing ... even more so than oral. Am I weird or do others have that same reaction to kissing?

 

Not at all just like you I get harder faster when kissing than a BJ. I'm sure there's some psychological explanation for it but it escapes me it just IS.:D

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One thing I was told a long while ago, and which I share where appropriate...

 

Being lied to feels crappy, but the lie is theirs not mine. If I make my decisions with prudence -not paranoia- then I own no apology for any deception.

It is a hard truth to accept in the midst of emotions, but it is still true. There are a lot of shitty people out there, but there are also a lot of really decent people. The only way to sort out which is which is to make ourselves vulnerable to deception.

The alternative, though safer, is to live in emotional isolation. To me, this would be worse than being lied to on occasion.

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So sad to hear about your bad experience. People like that risk to give us single males a bad name among couples. But fortunately there are good people out there so I wish you the very best in the future. Hope you will give it another try and find some honest guy next time!

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Give him more time. Many people can't get hard in front of others if the were not used to, so let him be with her couple of times then you can join.

You still can enjoy even if you are not with them, cause she could tell you about every single (touch, kiss, suck and etc.)

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To me, the age shouldn't matter. Personally, I enjoy older guys, they tend to go longer, and their skills more honed, and 37 really isn't "older". But, he lied and that's reason to disconnect from him. More importantly, when the two of decided the wife was going it alone, then you were no longer talking MFM or even swinging by my definition, instead it was jumping to some type of open marriage. You can't go rock climbing with someone who is not capable of going rock climbing. You can't have MFM with a guy that can't get it up for the activity. If your goal or agreed upon course is MFM, walk away from any guy that isn't enthusiastic and capable of having MFM.

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Me and my wife tried our first MFM threesome literally just a couple of days ago with a guy we met on a site. We had met up with him for a drink a week before hand to get an idea of what he was like and what he was into and he is a fab guy, super chilled and laid back. 
 

we booked an apartment for a night had a few drinks and some food and got really comfortable and come the main event everything was fine… to begin with.

 

she started teasing us both at the same time, stroking and sucking as such, I got behind her to fuck her while she sucked him and about 5 mins in my hard on had reduced to a semi!! Weird thing was so did he!! We put it down to nerves to begin with so just carried on fumbling around with each other, but as the night progressed, it just kept happening. We made use of other talents we had and it was still a good night but just didn’t seem as fun as we all wanted it to be, he managed to stay harder longer than me, and by the end i kinda just gave up. When he wasn’t around I was fine for the most part. I don’t really understand why this happened as I was completely comfortable with the guy being there with my wife and me and my wife was all dressed up sexy as hell. Any ideas guys on what I could try or what was affecting us maybe? 

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On 6/22/2014 at 8:56 PM, Jarmst4 said:

Well, things didn't work out so well. She stayed with him and they had a great time. They had sex all night. She came home and told me all about it and we had sex a few times. He calls her today and tells my wife he can't see us anymore because he has a GF and feels horrible. Then he tells us he lied about his age, considerably older than what he said. My wife told him he was an ass. I don't understand why you would go so far then think about how supposedly committed he is to his GF. Back to the start now.

Dude, that’s a real dick move mate (pardon the pun) hope things work out better next time 🤞

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On 6/22/2014 at 1:56 PM, Jarmst4 said:

He calls her today and tells my wife he can't see us anymore because he has a GF and feels horrible.

Definitely the wrong guy.  The proper story would be that he has a girlfriend and she wants to join in.  They're not a lifestyle team.

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      So, it finally happened that November night. I really enjoyed watching my wife get screwed by more than one man. She had the time of her life. She had multiple orgasms one after another. The crazy feeling never left my stomach but I really enjoyed watching though. After the guys left we kicked back and talked about our experience. Then we go back about agreeing on what we’re doing and never to do it without the other knowing. We keep an oath of trust. Every time we have a date with someone we let each other know. It’s always planned out days in advance so it will never interfere with our personal lives. We have a great understanding.
       
      Since last November she’s been involved in several group sex averaging 3-4 guys each time. Of course I joined in most of the time. Lots of lube is needed. But now she wants to go a little further. She wants to do a gangbang of 6-8 guys. Seriously.
       
      Lately she’s been playing with large toys to get her vagina ready. She wants to try double-vaginal penetration. I’ve been preparing her by inserting a dildo in her while I’m inside. Very carefully with lots of lube. We practice every time we have sex. She even carefully inserts a large thick toy in her vagina while watching a movie and keeps it in there. Yes, our sexual curiosities has increased tremendously. My wife wants to explore even more and I’m all in.
       
      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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