Fetishizing race in the swinging community

[SwingSetWife 444]

This happens in and out of the swinging community. And it can include any number of ideas about what is considered racial fetishizing. So what are you thoughts here? Does it offend you if you feel someone is fetishizing your race? Does racial fetishizing have to be overtly sexual? Or do you consider statements such as "I'm only (or more) attracted to" such and such race?

 

Do you have a racial preference when it comes to your personal relationships? What about with swinging? Would you rather "try out" different races or do you tend to stick with one or two in particular? Are there any races that are off limits?

 

Also, in your experience, do you think racial preference stays the same or is it more fluid?

 

 

NOTE- Race can be a touchy subject. Please give honest but respectful answers. And if something is posted that offends you, please keep in mind that written language on the internet is not always meant the way you may perceive it. Let's "discuss", not argue.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

This must be the most egregious example of turning a noun into a verb (or gerund) that I have seen in a long time. But I forgive you as I agree with you that this business of focusing attention on somebody for the reason of ethnic origin is a burr under the saddle.

 

There is a person who no longer receives invitations to house parties owing to the fact that he would pursue a particular female guest from one room into another with "I've always wanted to do a " on his lips in some form or another. To me it carried the implication, "I'm better than you and I just thought I would take this opportunity to remind you." Bad behavior.

[Mochacino 188]

This happens in and out of the swinging community. And it can include any number of ideas about what is considered racial fetishizing. So what are you thoughts here? Does it offend you if you feel someone is fetishizing your race? Does racial fetishizing have to be overtly sexual? Or do you consider statements such as "I'm only (or more) attracted to" such and such race?

 

 

Somehow I always find threads like this! LOL Personally hubby and I are deeply offended when we feel fetishized. To me there is a difference between "I am attracted to X,Y,Z" to being disrespectful. It is disrespectful to tell someone to their face that the only reason you are even speaking to them is because of your skin color. How am I suppossed to take that as a compliment? It's natural to be attracted to other races or whatever, but please don't make us think you are trying to complete your 'Racial Fetish Bingo Card'. I have dated men of several races and the only thing they have had in common was their personalities. I would love to think that all people thought that way. Personalities are sexy! Race is just the bag it's in...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

It is a difficult subject, in many different ways. My personal take on it would be when it moves from simple attraction to a fetish, then it becomes an issue. Another way to put it is if the race overrides the individual, then I can see someone being offended, because everyone wants to and deserves to be recognized as an individual. But on the other hand, just like with hair color, body type, or some other physical characteristic, everyone gravitates to certain things too although they are different for everybody, and why those preferences are what they are, we probably can't even really explain, they just are. If I "like brunettes", it doesn't mean I don't like blonds too and am going to automatically discount every blond I see and limit my pursuits to just brunettes. As a group, I like brunettes, as individuals, I may like any or all.

 

Substitute a race for brunettes in that last sentence above, and is that something someone should take offense to? Should brunettes think he only wants to play because I have dark hair and be offended by that? Should the blond automatically assume he doesn't want to play because I have blond hair, otherwise he would, and be offended by that? I don't know, it all depends on what "like" means, what the underlying motivations are, and how the person is expressing it.

[Billleif 18]

I completely agree with cplnuswing. We're a black couple and my fetish is large breasts. Obviously if I walk up to a woman and say, hey I'm only interested in you because of your breast size, I'm just being a creep and weirdo and should be treated as such. But if during the course of conversation it comes out that I like well-endowed women, I don't think the woman should feel objectified or fetishized, it just happens to be what I like, the same as some women like tall guys, guys with beards or guys with big dicks. If it's not me, cool, no prob. But if a woman was cool and just happened to have a fantasy of being with a black guy, I would never be offended, I'd just take it as her particular preference the same way I'd hope she'd take my preference for busty women. Nothing racist or offensive, just a preference.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

It is a difficult subject, in many different ways. My personal take on it would be when it moves from simple attraction to a fetish, then it becomes an issue. Another way to put it is if the race overrides the individual, then I can see someone being offended, because everyone wants to and deserves to be recognized as an individual. But on the other hand, just like with hair color, body type, or some other physical characteristic, everyone gravitates to certain things too although they are different for everybody, and why those preferences are what they are, we probably can't even really explain, they just are. If I "like brunettes", it doesn't mean I don't like blonds too and am going to automatically discount every blond I see and limit my pursuits to just brunettes. As a group, I like brunettes, as individuals, I may like any or all.

 

Substitute a race for brunettes in that last sentence above, and is that something someone should take offense to? Should brunettes think he only wants to play because I have dark hair and be offended by that? Should the blond automatically assume he doesn't want to play because I have blond hair, otherwise he would, and be offended by that? I don't know, it all depends on what "like" means, what the underlying motivations are, and how the person is expressing it.

 

This is exactly what has been troubling me, which lead to my thread. What is it that makes hair color/breast size/general attractiveness different from being singled out because of race? We can't really choose what we're born with in terms of physical attributes.

 

 

I completely agree with cplnuswing. We're a black couple and my fetish is large breasts. Obviously if I walk up to a woman and say, hey I'm only interested in you because of your breast size, I'm just being a creep and weirdo and should be treated as such. But if during the course of conversation it comes out that I like well-endowed women, I don't think the woman should feel objectified or fetishized, it just happens to be what I like, the same as some women like tall guys, guys with beards or guys with big dicks. If it's not me, cool, no prob. But if a woman was cool and just happened to have a fantasy of being with a black guy, I would never be offended, I'd just take it as her particular preference the same way I'd hope she'd take my preference for busty women. Nothing racist or offensive, just a preference.

 

Unfortunately, people do go up to others and say exactly that: "I've never had a black/Asian/Hispanic/alien/etc. before." Is it just the attitude and manners of a person that turns us off and not necessarily what they find attractive?

[SwingSetWife 444]

This is exactly what has been troubling me, which lead to my thread.

 

Uh oh. Did I miss an active thread on this already? Should we combine them if I did?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Uh oh. Did I miss an active thread on this already? Should we combine them if I did?

 

I think your thread is great and more specific.

[couplers 4,718]

Hi, this is Petra with my two cents worth. Our poly foursome, all white, plays with another married couple, Walter and Lora, both black. I would say that not much is said about race, because race isn't on our minds. One reason is that we are all culturally the same: American, middle class suburban upbringing, college, boring professional careers, which I believe are more identifiers than race.

 

When I'm having sex with Walter or Lora, I don't even think about race; it is other sexual differences that I appreciate and make it exciting - different techniques, a different pace, a different order of activities, different climaxes. With those two what I notice most and enjoy most is Lora's fit body (she's a gym rat) and her sexual "enthusiasm" as I would call it.

 

When one of the couple is having sex with another in my poly group and I watch, the skin tone contrast can be exciting (especially missionary with a girl's legs around a guy's back), but it is secondary to the idea that one of my lovers is having sex with someone else.

 

 

P.S. I'm a scrawny, olive skinned, dark haired, small-breasted, dark nippled woman with what some may say is an ugly pussy (large labia and clit). But I am in good physical condition (if you like a girl with abs) and a cute face. I am not offended that any of the others (hubby, Red, Walter or Lora) may find angle-faced, blue-eyed, blonde, full breasted, white to bronze skinned, pink nippled, cute pussy Clair more attractive than me. Or the other way around, if any of them fetishize me for any of my anti-glamorous characteristics. It's possible to be an ass about about anything, but temporary or permanent sexual attractions are nothing to be ashamed of.

[Mochacino 188]

This is exactly what has been troubling me, which lead to my thread. What is it that makes hair color/breast size/general attractiveness different from being singled out because of race? We can't really choose what we're born with in terms of physical attributes.

 

Unfortunately, people do go up to others and say exactly that: "I've never had a black/Asian/Hispanic/alien/etc. before." Is it just the attitude and manners of a person that turns us off and not necessarily what they find attractive?

This is the biggest problem. I don't have a problem with people that are attracted to other races. Obviously. But when they approach you as if you should be honored that they are attracted to you or when they think you are only there to fulfill their desires or fantasies it's just plain tacky. I have heard some of the most ridiculous things come out of the mouths of people. It's all about the approach.

[81lizard69 470]

Here is where all the white people get all crazy in the head.. hell it is ok to want to only screw hung black men.. jesus.. it happens. its ok. If its between consenting adults and no one gets hurt it is fine. My Grandfather is black and no one, unless they knew him would know that I am part African. We all all different.. It has been my experiance that going out and meeting new people you will find that you might like what they have to offer and be attracted to them. No problem.

[Hippiegirlie 276]

Here is where all the white people get all crazy in the head.. hell it is ok to want to only screw hung black men.. jesus.. it happens. its ok. If its between consenting adults and no one gets hurt it is fine. My Grandfather is black and no one, unless they knew him would know that I am part African. We all all different.. It has been my experiance that going out and meeting new people you will find that you might like what they have to offer and be attracted to them. No problem.

 

Actually that is exactly the problem; making the assumption that because a man (or woman) has a particular attribute or feature just because of their race or ethnicity. It certainly isn't just "white people" that have this problem. I meet PLENTY of other race individuals who are interested in me purely on the basis of my physical appearance, my color, and sometimes, when they bother to read my profiles, on the basis that I am a rather tall, dominant female.

[Mochacino 188]

Here is where all the white people get all crazy in the head.. hell it is ok to want to only screw hung black men.. jesus.. it happens. its ok. If its between consenting adults and no one gets hurt it is fine. My Grandfather is black and no one, unless they knew him would know that I am part African. We all all different.. It has been my experiance that going out and meeting new people you will find that you might like what they have to offer and be attracted to them. No problem.

Yes lizard that is ok. There is no problem, unless the person you are asking feels like they are being objectified. That's my point of my posts. Like who you like, desire new things and people. Just use kind, respectful words.

[SwingSetWife 444]

This must be the most egregious example of turning a noun into a verb (or gerund) that I have seen in a long time. But I forgive you as I agree with you that this business of focusing attention on somebody for the reason of ethnic origin is a burr under the saddle.

 

I don't think this is meant as a compliment, but I will take it as such and make myself feel better

[SwingSetWife 444]

Okay, I have held off my response on this because honestly, especially as a white girl, I'm not sure how I feel about it. In a way, I can understand the "I am more attracted to" such and such race. I have said this and still think it holds true. Its not that I'm -not- attracted to other races, I'm just -more- drawn to one.

 

On the other hand, I was having a conversation about this on FB the other day and some offered up some points that I never considered. For one, in the minds of the ones I was chatting with, race isn't a physical characteristic. It isn't blue eyes, brown eyes, or asian eyes. Just doesn't work that way. But there are certain characteristics that are more prevalent in certain races.

 

Secondly, not all people of a particular race look alike. So when you are saying "I'm more attracted to" it is basically bs because there are some that you are attracted to but a whole host of others that you may not be.

 

I will say that I do agree that it is stupid to walk up to someone and imply that you only want to have sex with them because they are a certain race. But I think that is an err in judgement more than it being the -only- reason someone is attracted to someone else.

 

Now as far as personally--

 

I don't really see race. Cliche, I know, but I really feel like I don't. I never base my attraction on someone based on race. And I'm never like "Wow, I just got with a" whatever. When I hook up with someone, their race doesn't even cross my mind. At the same time, I could easily say I'm attracted to one race over another. Nothing racist about it. For example, I am more attracted to women with "padding". Big boobs, big butts, fuller lips, etc. I am less attracted to petite/short women. All races have examples of both these body types. But some are more prevalent in certain races.

[SwingSetWife 444]

'Racial Fetish Bingo Card'

 

SSH and I had such a laugh at this. I am always getting on his butt about saying things like "we should get with a Hispanic couple/Asian couple/whatever". I don't think it is a matter of turning into a fetish. I actually think "fetish" is the wrong word for it altogether. But for some reason some people just think that people of different races are somehow different. And that includes being different in the bedroom.

 

Sorry for calling you out hubby.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I don't think this is meant as a compliment, but I will take it as such and make myself feel better

 

I apologize. I failed to place a smily face after the remark about the gerund so that it would be clear to you that I was not scolding.

 

In regard to the main point of the discussion, there is a difference between approaching you with, "I always wanted to get down with a guy/gal who has a really big dick/rack" and "I always wanted to get down with a guy/gal who is an African/Chinese/Latino/etc." Somehow people of the aforementioned heritage seem to receive at least one reminder nearly every day that they are what they are. This is very often perceived as a systematic way of keeping a person in his or her proper place. On the other hand, a guy having a big dick is not receiving these kinds of daily reminders.

[Mochacino 188]

Somehow people of the aforementioned heritage seem to receive at least one reminder nearly every day that they are what they are. This is very often perceived as a systematic way of keeping a person in his or her proper place.

To be honest I see it as a form of mircoaggression...A racist statement that doesn't sounds racist but does serve to belittle the person. As in "oh you are so pretty for a (insert race here)". Or some such...

[SwingSetWife 444]

I apologize. I failed to place a smily face after the remark about the gerund so that it would be clear to you that I was not scolding.

 

No worries!! I assumed that was the case

[sunbuckus 3,569]

To be honest I see it as a form of mircoaggression...A racist statement that doesn't sounds racist but does serve to belittle the person. As in "oh you are so pretty for a (insert race here)". Or some such...

 

There was an article I read that touched upon this. It talked about how this type of attitude stereotypes a certain ethnicity ("_____ are all so pretty/strong/quiet/docile/smart/etc.") Just because you're a certain ethnicity doesn't mean you are those qualities. I actually find myself to be on the less attractive side so when I hear someone say, "Oh, all ______ are pretty!" it bothers me because, for one, they are forcing me into a specific box that I feel I don't fit in. And two, they aren't really looking at me but at some distortion in their mind.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

As in "oh you are so pretty for a (insert race here)". Or some such...

 

Some of the things people say just boggle my mind.

 

Straight white guy talking here - as a group, I find black women sexy and attractive. As I said in my earlier post, the way I look at it, finding a certain group attractive as a generality really has nothing to do with any member of that or any other group as individuals. Just because you are a member of that group doesn't mean I automatically want to play with you, and if you aren't a member doesn't automatically mean I don't. I make that judgement on the individual and what chemistry we have together, doesn't matter if you are purple, green, or magenta, and I hope they are doing the same toward me.

 

But, knowing comments like the one above are all too frequently stated, I almost feel guilty for saying that I find a certain group sexy and attractive lest I be lumped in with the others who are saying almost the same words but with different motivations and an entirely different twist. Put simply, while it's true, I am very hesitant to say it on the chance it could be taken wrong.

[Mochacino 188]

Some of the things people say just boggle my mind.

 

Straight white guy talking here - as a group, I find black women sexy and attractive. As I said in my earlier post, the way I look at it, finding a certain group attractive as a generality really has nothing to do with any member of that or any other group as individuals. Just because you are a member of that group doesn't mean I automatically want to play with you, and if you aren't a member doesn't automatically mean I don't. I make that judgement on the individual and what chemistry we have together, doesn't matter if you are purple, green, or magenta, and I hope they are doing the same toward me.

 

But, knowing comments like the one above are all too frequently stated, I almost feel guilty for saying that I find a certain group sexy and attractive lest I be lumped in with the others who are saying almost the same words but with different motivations and an entirely different twist. Put simply, while it's true, I am very hesitant to say it on the chance it could be taken wrong.

 

I think the fact that you are cognizant of the fact that words can hurt already puts you at an advantage Cplnuswing! It seems like you are respectful about your attractions and that is all that matters!

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I think the fact that you are cognizant of the fact that words can hurt already puts you at an advantage Cplnuswing! It seems like you are respectful about your attractions and that is all that matters!

 

I absolutely agree. Being sensitive enough to recognize that your words can be taken in a completely different way than what you meant them to be and hesitating because of it speaks volumes of who you are in comparison to those who can't/won't understand how those phrases are offensive.

[MrMarvin 268]

Attraction is fickle and I personally can't say it is wrong or improper if a particular type of person (whether it be short, tall, fat, skinny orange or purple) floats your boat. The important thing, which many of you point out above, is to just be respectful to fellow man/woman.

[Hippiegirlie 276]

On the other hand, a guy having a big dick is not receiving these kinds of daily reminders.

 

However a lady with a big rack certainly does. Trust me, since I was 12.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Just to agree with what's been said, it is about respect. We have passed on couples that have led in with the "never been with a black person and wanna find out" line. It's offensive to the individual to say as long as you have this attribute your personality and appearance (beyond said attribute) doesn't matter.

 

I want playmates who thinks the whole package works not just one part of the wrapping!

 

We are getting a bit jaded in our area, as it seems to be an all or nothing situation. Profiles that say no blacks or ones that only want the bbc.

[SwingSetWife 444]

We actually don't mind when profiles say "no blacks" or some variation of that. We would rather know up front so we don't waste our time.

[Gordo 618]

Race is just an added bonus to an otherwise attractive person. I met a girl from Ecuador on Saturday. She was gorgeous. Petite, brown, perky, bubbly and when she told me her name in spanish I swear I came close to coming in my pants. It's such a beautiful musical language. I told my wife I just wanted to take her home and play with her all weekend long. Very unusual for me.

 

But then I could also say that it's happened with east indian or negro or oriental etc.

 

For me it's just an little extra "love it" factor so I wouldn't hold it against other people that get off on it.

[Mochacino 188]

Race is just an added bonus to an otherwise attractive person.

But then I could also say that it's happened with east indian or negro or oriental etc.

 

 

First Part: YES!

Second Part: Ummmmm no.

The statement is sound; the terminology is not.

That's all I am going to say for this one.

[Gordo 618]

First Part: YES!

Second Part: Ummmmm no.

The statement is sound; the terminology is not.

That's all I am going to say for this one.

 

I mean I find the same bonus factor with other races. Or perhaps should I say regardless of the race. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way I expressed it but if you are ultra sensitive perhaps it bothers you. Sorry!

 

Ultimately all are human beings and it's fun to get to know them. We live in Canada, which as many of you may be aware, is a multi-cultural society. I couldn't even begin to list the number of different countries/races the people in our social, aquaintance, work circles encompass. It's a huge opportunity to learn about other customs, beliefs and yes food. Yumm.

 

Race doesn't bother me I'm much more bothered by the stupidity of religious beliefs/conflicts.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Gordo, it isn't the concept you were putting out but the terms you were using (which Mochacino bolded) that were offensive. To many, those terms are almost the same as using the slang terms like the n-word or c-word.

[Gordo 618]

Gordo, it isn't the concept you were putting out but the terms you were using (which Mochacino bolded) that were offensive. To many, those terms are almost the same as using the slang terms like the n-word or c-word.

 

Or perhaps it's just that as Canadians we're comfortable with all those cultures and don't see anything wrong with it anymore. Honestly there are derogatory terms for almost every race or nationality that I can definitely see not using but to describe someone as Japanese or Oriental or Chinese or East Indian is pretty normal up here. They're my friends, they're my neighbours, they are people I do business with, they are people I break bread with. I see them all as normal human beings. I do not see those terms as derogatory.

 

Maybe it's you Americans that are just a little tooooo sensitive....

 

So why don't you tell me just how you would describe someone when you're trying to. I'm honestly at a loss here as to what is being accomplished by all these restrictions.

[Mochacino 188]

I am not "ultra sensitive" but since you cared enough to clarify. I will do the same. "Oriental" is for food, rugs, paintings, etc. Where the exact country/culture of origin is not known. Not for people. "East indian" is no more proper than calling the native and/or indigenous people of any country "Indian"... Again not an acceptable descriptive of the vast cultural diaspora. And I won't even bother to get into the last time the term "Negro" was socially acceptable. But as you stated you live in Canada and it may well be the accepted use of terminology in your locale. But it is not always the norm when speaking in mixed company. Which I was why I gave credit for the the sentiment behind the words and only mildy alluded to the potential damage of the words itself.

BTW love Canada. I spent a summer there with my grandparents one year. It's the cleanest country I have EVER been in.

[Gordo 618]

Well I would never use those terms in mixed company unless I was describing someone to somebody. Let's take oriental. We have mainland China, Taiwanese, Korean & Canadian. They can all look the same. If I didn't know their exact country of origin how else would I describe them other than oriental? Koreans would be insulted to be called Chinese and Chinese would be insulted to called Koreans.

 

You say Negro is offensive but up here we don't have a African Canadian term like you have African Americans. Doesn't exist (at least as far as I've ever heard) Do I call them Black or African or Negro which is pretty ambigous given that we're all Commonwealth countries that include african countries, India etc etc. A black person here could just as easily be English (England), Australian, Canadian, American, South African or West Indies. And yes we have the West Indies which is why we distinguish East from West. Add in Mexicans, people from various countries in South America, Germans, Italians, Dutch, French (second language here), Greek and the list goes on and on. Have I mentioned Vietnames or Australians, Israelis, Japanese.....The Indians now want to be called First Nations or First People etc. Polish, Russian, Ukranian honestly there is not a nationality in the world that we don't have significant numbers of now. We've become a real melting pot.

 

Seriously it's far too many cultures to sort out and label properly and the simplest descriptives are what work here. Although they can be used as a slur they are not intended to be racial for the most part.

 

Thank you for the compliments on Canada. As the largest or second largest country in the world (I forget) and only 35 million pop there are large swaths that have never seen a human being. That being said I love visiting the US as I've always felt right at home.

[shy_couple 460]

I read Mochacino's MOTW interview. When she mentioned that people approached them sometimes as if they were a prize to be had, an accomplishment, a notch on their bedpost, something to check off their "fuck-it" list, I was intrigued.

 

I am enjoying the thread so far and agree (for the most part) with the others, except for Gordo who seems intent on digging himself into a deeper hole. I do agree with one point that he is trying to make; this is a diverse world that we live in and political correctness can sometimes get in the way. It is great to be sensitive to others but at some point it can get to be tedious and overkill. Someone will get hurt feelings even with the most politically speech and best intentions.

[couplers 4,718]

While I personally find it a hoot for anyone to try to insult me by my ethnicity (real, or even better, perceived) or my gender, I never go anywhere near the line in my own speech. Even if wanted to insult someone with a slur I wouldn't do it, innocent bystanders could get hurt.

 

 

But I will agree, context is everything. Everyone makes an issue of how blacks sometimes address one another, but among my grandparents generation, which was the children of immigrants, it was the same. The old guys referred to each other of the same ethnicity by derogatory terms (some groups had more, and better terms than others), but those outside the group wouldn't dare to do so. It still happens today; where I work I've heard some Muslim (Pakistanis, I think) refer to themselves and those of their kind with words I would never use. Guys (it's mostly guys, rarely women) feel comfortable talking that way around me for two reason, I think: I never presumptuously think I am on the inside and use those words myself, and under the right circumstances when I make a mistake (those very rare circumstances) I have called myself a "dumb cunt." Guys then know I am aware I have made a mistake, I am willing to admit it, and nothing they can say about it would be more insulting than what I just said.

[kikonkrome 844]

So thought I would add our two cents on this as we are on the 'front' line so to speak of the issue.

 

There's the issue in being polite when meeting people in this lifestyle. Saying I've always wanted to make it with black girl, is like saying I've always wanted to make it with a fat girl. Pretty simply not sexy.

 

However, we feel there are types of people we are attracted to. Sometimes that can transcend race(I am particularly partial to short curvy women), sometimes race comes with the type (my wife likes nerdy looking white guys). I think it is ok to have these types in your mind, but you need to remember your manners when talking to people, and try to objectify them as little as possible.

 

On a further note for us, as we get to know people race falls by the way side. One friend of ours has distinctly indistinct features, frankly I had no idea what her ethnicity was until she told me. We have also had the pleasure of playing in groups that had all the colors of the rainbow, super hot! Really it just disappears.

 

The bad news from our experience has been that race is an issue at swing clubs. We go to a very racially diverse club. There is still however a distinct racial separation. I don't really get it but it's there. I am not saying there aren't people who cross the divide, however the separation is still there. Frankly we have never felt the difference so much as when we started swinging.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Stupid doesn't have a color. We try our best to avoid stupid. All others are acceptable unless they later prove to fall into the stupid category...

[MrDiscover 802]

As for the terms, I agree the sensitivity differs for every country/culture. I, for one, never read 'oriental' or 'negro' as a bed term in that post. We use the Dutch equal terms for that in daily speak as well and I never came across someone who was offended by it. Including one of my kids (of black american origin). In my country that is, because I know it can be different in other parts of the globe.

 

But. If someone says he is offended, I just apologize and will not defending my choice of words. Especially in an environment like this with members from all over the world.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Choosing to have sex with someone because of their race is racist.

 

My wife wants to have sex with any attractive man.

 

I want to have sex with any attractive woman.

 

Yes we see that you are black, Asian or alien. So what? If my wife wants to have sex with you because you are black she is a racist. There is nothing wrong with a white woman craving sex with a man of another race. There is nothing wrong with a black man having sex with a white woman. It is a supposedly forbidden fetish. There are many black men who are more than happy to fulfill your fantasy of watching your wife being fucked by a big black man with a big cock and many wives who want to know what that feels like.

 

There are also many posts by angry black men responding to white men wanting their wives to be fucked by a black man as if a black mans purpose is to satisfy a white couples fantasy.

[OpenMindedPair 35]

So... highly sexually experienced, straight, but not (yet) lifestyle straight white couple here.

 

She was in a bar and the only 3 men were black guys, who ignored literally a room full of other single women to all concentrate on chatting the Mrs up.

Were they overly fetishizing a petite blonde with wide hips and a natural round ass? Can't say. Does it bother us? Not one bit.

She loved all the male attention, and I (her hetero alpha husband) did too.

 

She was the absolute prize for whatever reason, and the guys being black was positive if anything. Her attractiveness was higher than all other women, single and not.

 

She had a black bf (at least 1) in college and lived near an Afro Caribbean community out of country. Was she a sexual prize? Probably of only as novelty.

 

Its arousing not disrespectful. People should experience a rainbow of lovers. Just our experience. No harm in it.

[njbm 2,901]

We like to play with people we like. We like how they look, we like how they act, we like what they have to say. We think that many people are attractive. They may be white, black, Asian, Hispanic or anything else. We just don't care! If we like who you are and how you look and we meet as part of the lifestyle, we want to have a physical interaction. We don't want to measure your breasts or your penis, we don't want to time our sex session, we will not get freaked out if you cannot maintain an erection, achieve an orgasm or squirt, we want to play and have the most fun that we can have. We evaluate our partners on how they look (but not harshly, we are not Adonises), how they act (kind, empathetic, fun, generous and fair to each other and us) and not based on their race, nationality, religion, where they are from or their socioeconomic status. Are they nice? Are they fun? Are they attractive to us? End of inquiry. We have met so many nice people! We have been fortunate, but we are also open minded and we try to stay that way . It's rewarding.

[OpenMindedPair 35]

Excellent take. With us it started when 3 black men came on to her together, all 3, and literally ignored the bar full of single young white women there.

 

So very hot. She was the absolute prize

 

Was it due to being an educated skinny blonde with big hips and a round nice ass?

 

Perhaps. Don't care. She was the belle of the ball regardless. Amazing.

 

When MFM brought up she requested a Native man she could pick herself. Didnt get to that in time.

 

Anyway yes she has seemed like a prized fetish and the high priority attention she has had as well as desires shared makes me look forward to a night out where she can be sexy seen and approached by a hung black man or so to have drinks and grind on the dance floor maybe.

 

Is there taboo for her still a little? Sure. She and a black bf caught snark in Atlanta in college. But I'm not a Southern racist and cherish her being such a prize even if it could be race fetish stuff.

 

Her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard, it was fantastic and we are probably going to do it again with hopefully a more physical ending.