Submission and swinging

[PLLifestyle 20]

My of my wife's kinks is that she likes to be submissive. Just curious to hear how others incorporated elements of submission into swinging.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I sometimes like to be submissive. I met someone who I would consider to be sexually bossy. This person is also a very nice guy and not involved in the bdsm scene whatsoever. The first time we played it was really great. Basically he just told me what he wanted, what to do. I remember thinking to myself, I'm not sure many girls I know would like this... but it really works for me. After we played I told him that I really liked being told what to do, and that I like being called a slut. We talked a bit about what was too far and what was good.

 

We've played several times since. One time was particularly intense and incredibly hot. Beforehand I told him a couple things I wanted to happen and then it went from there. It was not the kind of thing I would do with someone the first or second time playing. But it was really good because we had already played a few times and talked quite a bit.

 

I'd suggest getting to know people a bit and finding people you are sexually compatible with and then seeing if they are interested in the activities and role play you are interested in. For me it was really important that I like the person and know that they respected me.

 

I've also been dominant to someone I play with regularly. They heard that I like to be rough sometimes and asked if I would. It was the same situation we respected each other, were friends and had played before. I agreed and we had a fun time.

 

Later I met someone else who I thought might be able to give me a similar experience (being submissive). It turned out that we were not at all sexually compatible. That's the reason for my advice, above.

 

In our community spanking, light bondage and blindfolds are all pretty common. You could easily work those into swinging encounters with you, the husband as the primary dominant and others helping. People also host parties where women are sushi or dessert buffets. I've dressed up and played the part of a maid for a murder mystery party. It kind of depends on your description of submissive.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

My fantasy is to restrain her by her wrists and blindfold her while I invite "mystery man/men" to fuck her.

[Sensualbicouple 122]

As a swinging couple and members of our local kink community (as we are both submissives), we have "role played" with another swinging couple. It was fun for me but only so-so for hubby. After that play meet, in hindsight, it was good to a point but for the future, we don't intend to mix our submissiveness with swinging. We tend to keep them very separate as they both require from our perspective, different approaches. But we hope you OP find an equal ground to start from and enjoy your play meets, no matter what the theme or taste is. :-)

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

As a swinging couple and members of our local kink community (as we are both submissives), we have "role played" with another swinging couple. It was fun for me but only so-so for hubby. After that play meet, in hindsight, it was good to a point but for the future, we don't intend to mix our submissiveness with swinging. We tend to keep them very separate as they both require from our perspective, different approaches. But we hope you OP find an equal ground to start from and enjoy your play meets, no matter what the theme or taste is. :-)

 

I'd love for you to elaborate on this if you are able. What wasn't good with the swing/kink play? Can you tell us about your different approaches?

[ViSexual 1,008]

An old, and very sexy, movie that this thread reminds me of is 'Devil in Miss Jones'. I remember it being one of my wife's favorite movies. So, like most men who don't have a clue about women, I tried to play the role of the Dom with her. Not! I guess it wasn't her fantasy after all. LOL! Oh well, I'm not the bossy type anyway!

[Guest]

I tend towards the submissive side and have conveyed this and my other fantasies to my hubby. When we were still dating, we saw a late night thing on HBO where ladies were sent to "pony school," put in harness and trained to prance either standing or on all fours with a butt plug and pony tail, naked except for the leather harness, sometimes being gently whipped with a carriage whip by their coachman. This school was supposedly out east somewhere. I so wanted to go. He bought me the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (by Anne Rice) when I was confined to bed for a week (medical reasons) and I must have masturbated at least once, sometimes twice for each chapter. The training and condition of Sleeping Beauty by her Prince so excited me. At my request, he began to incorporate some of that type of training into our sex life.

 

Before we go out, he will get me almost to orgasm and then spank or flog me, possibly while I am tied or restrained, telling me what he wants me to do that evening, not stopping until I promise to do as he says, possibly explaining how I will do it. It may involve what I will wear, perhaps a bra that makes me boobie looking or without a bra with something fairly transparent, or a short skirt with no underwear and I have to make it apparent to select people. For example, even though we might typically walk to our favorite restaurant, we might drive and valet park and I must get out of car and off of bar stools "one leg at a time." The same thing, I must sit at the bar with the skirt high enough so our favorite bartender gets a view. This is all particularly submissive because this is a place where we are regulars and he is forcing me to move from my more conservative image to one where I can feel sexy and slutty. If I am talking to the guy next to me at the bar or down a couple of seats and I turn to hubby and tell him that I have to go to the rest room, the command might be "ok, do it like you are suppose to" and my response is to first turn the bar stool towards the guy or twist towards him "one leg at a time" and then slide off the stool one leg at a time and in a manner that pulls the skirt up as I slide off the edge of the stool. When I first raised the point that I would like to be trained, we actually had a session on getting off bar stools and out of cars.

 

This is getting way longer then I meant. For the most part, the submissiveness is between he and I, not a part of swinging. However, we may be at a bar, some guy talking to us on and off and hubby will tell me to fix my top. I will follow is command and undue a button or two or unzip it an inch or two to show more cleavage. I find this exciting, getting told what to do. During an MFM, he's doing my doggie style and I'm giving the other guy oral. He swats my ass and tells me, suck that dick, and I do it much more vigorously. Other guys have noticed and commented, oh yea, that works or smack her again, wow.

[janaandjames 24]

We like a lot of mfm... and we like the man with us to take over. That is part of the thrill. We have our limits, but in general, when playing, we are submissive to our guest

[christnthms 326]

Mishu tends to be very submissive, in the bedroom, but really only to me. For instance, she might submit to another man but only if I ask her to. So the submission isn't so much to him as to me. This is a careful balance for me, as my primary role is not as her "Dom," but as her protector. So I try to balance the dominant role, but tend to soft-pedal the dominant role in favor of restraint. Better to not go far enough than to go too far in this sort of thing.

[vanillaknot 99]

We live an M/s, O/p lifestyle overall. On occasion, a date for MrsVK will be explicitly for the BDSM side but naturally may include sex that some might consider swinging. For her, once her headspace has been driven down to submission and service, the fact that sexual activity is involved isn't really important any more, and there is virtually no chance of her reaching orgasm. She really doesn't even want that possibility; hitting that point would get seriously in the way of the headspace she needs to remain in service. There was one particularly good, memorable date last fall, which happened at a swinger club (but that was incidental; it was just convenient), where I delivered her to him collared, cuffed, and leashed. He took her off on his own for an hour or so, after which I caught up with them and the rest of the evening was a mixture of general BDSM usage of her plus MfM. Very successful. That doesn't happen nearly enough.

[lisampsas 51]

I didn't realize I was... But I am.

 

My of my wife's kinks is that she likes to be submissive. Just curious to hear how others incorporated elements of submission into swinging.