My husband doesn't like parties unless he gets laid
By
Sunflower, in Swinger Clubs, Parties, Resorts, and Cruises
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By SimpIySexual
Okay so I feel like this is probably pretty common amongst new swingers but I need to discuss it with someone cause I feel kinda bad.
So me and my wife started swinging and have only had 2 experiences so far, both at the swing club near us. Both times me and my wife went she (a social butterfly) found someone within a couple hours and completed one of her fantasies both times.
The first time I wasn't present with her I was just outside the room in the main play room. I did this to let her try it without any pressure or influence from me.
The second time we dvp/dped her and had a lot of fun. Like 30 people stood around watching her wanting to get involved
So my problem starts a few days ago when we got into a mild argument and she said "well it's kinda fucked. You have got to see me fuck another man. I've done it twice, but you have yet to do anything with another woman."
So personally I'm an extremely shy and introverted person. She always thought I was the catch cause when we met in highschool all the girls were falling over me and I only had eyes for her. Well she walks into the club and literally everyone is looking at her. I don't have "game" shit Idk how to even flirt.
It's not because I feel bad or like I'm cheating, I could honestly give a fuck less about that sorta stuff. I just don't have the confidence to go to a woman I find attractive and shoot my shot. I grew up extremely abused and so rejection to me is something that crushes me. When you learn to never ask for anything being denied when you finally do just ends your confidence.
So really my question, is this normal for one partner to be the clear catch and able to go find partners where the other partner can't find anyone due to confidence? I dont want to make her mad because I don't ever do it but I also don't want to force myself to go fuck someone I don't even find attractive or something just to make her happy.
I am totally content in our swinging choice and everything else. This is really just one of those things I hadn't anticipated. I hate it cause I know I'm attractive. I just have 0 confidence to test it out.
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By TymKeepr
I'm finally getting my nerve up to ask. Are all women expected to be bi-sexual when it comes to swinging? I consider myself to be female friendly, I don't have a problem helping strip, kiss or caress another woman, which I've done before, but I have NO desire to perform oral sex on one.
I notice all these clubs talking about admitting single women but not much for single men, and have read on here about, what appears to me to be, desperate single men (not you regular posters, but you know the type I mean!) becoming pests. So, are women just automatically assumed to be bi?
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By ROCKlandCpl
I don’t remember not being shaven but I felt I needed to be even more hairless before meeting our first couple. I had never had a professional waxing only heard about bikini and Brazilian and decided to go the full bare way. Being fully inspected, not internally, only by my doctor now I’m there for some strange woman. Those of you who go for waxing know it’s not painless. I just told her go for the full thing not just the bikini.
My husband normally trims but I talked him to fully shave everything. He agreed to do it for me.
We met our first couple and she was like me, hairless. I figure she gets waxed. He was trimmed on top, his balls smooth. I was happy I had gone for the full treatment. I even thought my husband looked great shaved.
We are now playing with friends of ours and it’s our first time with them. She has what my husband called a cute bush. Not a big bushy bush, just a trimmed soft bush. I am still new to doing anything with a woman, I just figured she would have shaved or waxed. I didn’t know what to think as I am seeing my friend and expecting to have my mouth there.
We have since gone to a nude beach and noticed plenty of untrimmed people, male and female. My husband says it could be sexy. Sexy and I just had all my hair yanked off of me. I told him all the bare men were sexy, maybe he should be waxed and I’ll let mine grow back in.
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By Watchhercum4u
I've been noticing that full-swap play seems to be what is most common in this community. I'm not surprised by that but a little worried maybe.
My husband and I have been talking more and more about actually making my longstanding voyeur/exhibitionist fantasies come true. For me, it's mostly about watching and being watched. Though we have discussed some grey areas where fondling/stroking and mutual masturbation would be enjoyable, full swapping just isn't the plan for us.
Would we be rather unpopular at clubs?
Do the folks that enjoy the full experience ignore anything less?
Surely it'd be assumed we were there for the full swap; what kind of reaction could we expect once we let on what our interests are?
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By MN Tom
We made a mistake with a newbie couple recently.
Some background on us. When we go to a large party, we tend to mingle a lot. Doesn't matter who we arrived with or who we plan on playing with later, we are going to mingle. Talk, kiss and touch all sorts of people we know and maybe some we just met. That's why we are at the large party. If we didn't want to mingle, we wouldn't go. One of the few rules we have in the lifestyle is non exclusivity. We refuse to be exclusive with anyone else. We reserve the right to kiss and touch whomever we desire. So if we are at a party and there are 10 people we are friendly with, so be it. It doesn't mean we dont have a favorite, it doesn't mean we aren't going to still play with whomever we have set up plans with, it just means that is what we like and that's why we attend a party. If we want to solo it for the night, we dont go to a lifestyle party.
We know that isn't how everyone does it though, some people like to stay attached to their planned playdates all night, and some even like to stay attached to the people they arrived with, even if no play is planned for later. To each their own.
So, what happened is we met a new couple for drinks and chatting (nothing else happened) before the party. We had talked a bit with them through text and website mail before this, and had briefly met them the previous week at a party.
Then, it's time to go to the party and we all waited for the shuttle ride over there (along with a bunch of others). By this time we had spoken with them about our plans for the party and how we enjoy it. They seemed to understand, but I guess they didn't. The female was fine, the male half didn't grasp this though even though he agreed also.
Anyway, we get to the party, and again we say a quick "nice meeting you, if we dont see you again have fun!" type of thing. We did introduce them to a few people while waiting for the shuttle, but they quickly went on their own way and we lost track of them upon arriving (typical larger party, few hundred people, dark noisy bar..). Saw them here and there during the party, said a few words here and there, kept mingling.
So the night goes along, we enjoy ourselves, and we head back to the hotel. We were thinking about what to do and if we should play with anyone or what. And then the mr half texts us with something a bit unhappily odd. So we invited them to our room (knowing that this was blowing our chances of playing with anyone else mind you) to talk about it.
They come to our room, and then the Mr half of them lambasts us for being rude and treating them poorly by leaving them out to hang all night.
At first we were taken aback, we all had a bit to drink, so I asked again to clarify the issue. More ranting. Then we said we were sorry, we didn't realize they didn't understand what we said earlier. And then he started to rant again, and I'd had enough. I told him do you recall what I said early on. He says yes. So then I asked , ok what's the problem?
He then finally admitted that it was a bit disconcerting to him that he couldn't "win over" my wife to the point of having her stay by his side all night, and part of that might have been that his wife seems rather interested in me, even though it's her coming onto me, he still probably feels a bit jealous or something. He had the expectation that we were going to go further, even though neither of us said anything towards that (hell him and my wife never even kissed yet, he never even made the move..) , it's just how it worked when he used to date.
Well we said this isn't dating, and it's not how we work, not to mention we already said that isn't in the plans.
We then went through a few examples of past experiences, and also said having drinks is not equal to saying yes to sex. Unless someone is in your room and their clothes are off and you are having sex while they say yes, dont count on sex. He demeanor was softening by this time, and he conceded that he probably went overboard with how he was talking.
And there it was. Poor expectations ended up pretty much ruining his night from what we gather. He stewed all night at the party, and was really pissed by the time the party was done.
Still bewilders me why he didn't say anything early on at the party when we saw them, but who knows.
The thing is, this kind of drama-ish crap happens all the time. Usually though the people that feel slighted will never tell you, instead they just avoid you or vanish, and once in a while they probably gossip about it instead. We've all heard those stories.
So, we decided we really need to state our plans very clearly and probably a few times to anyone, especially newbies. We figure that if stating our plans pisses someone off, at least it will happen before the party instead of after. We've done this before, and usually do it with everyone. Just last week my wife brought along her favored playmate to a bar meet, and we made it clear to him that she wouldn't be "exclusive". She was going to arrive and leave with him, but had no plans on going out yet avoiding others. He didn't initially like hearing this, but has accepted it. It's a marriage rule for us, the only people we are exclusive with is ourselves. Nobody else will dictate that to us.
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