Were you nervous your first time at a swingers club? Did you play on first visit?

[Imswingin 18]

So hubby and I have said we would like to take a visit to a swingers club and we have put out some feelers on a site and gotten a handful of emails. We are hoping to meet those we are interested in the club that night. First we want to make sure that those people are aware that we may not be ready for play that night. As we get closer I can feels myself getting cold feet, and fears. My hubby reassures me we won't so anything that I am not ready for, and I know he is 100 percent truthful in that.

 

Were you nervous you first night going to the club? Did you end up playing with anyone your first night? Whenever you did have your first time did you jump in two feet or did you dip in slowly and get "used to the waters" before proceeding further?

[GoldCoCouple 4,052]

Of course we were, I think almost everyone is.

 

No but we watched

 

Dipped in slowly over several months

 

I think that you will find that 'swingers' are some of the most polite respectful people on the planet (there are always exceptions to everything, but on the whole...). I doubt you will find anyone 'doing' anything that you haven't given permission to have done...if even that. Make sure that you and your SO have discussed what your limits are and maybe have a phrase or word that means no, not interested (in case you do meet someone who is interested in playing but you aren't). 'No thank you' goes a long ways and don't be afraid to say it (just like yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, oh God YESSSSSSS...j/k). Remember, this is supposed to be fun and exciting so know your limits, be nice and brave, and have a good time no matter what happens (even if that is nothing)...and then run back here and tell us how things went.

[Brad145 58]

Yes we were nervous.

 

Yes we played.

 

Yes it was good and we continued going to parties.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Hell yeah we were nervous, and that was with a group of experienced swingers to hold our hand. If we were flying completely solo, it would have been 10X that.

 

First time, some dancing and flirting and a few kisses here and there, but no play. I think maybe it was like the third or fourth visit that we first played at the club with someone we had just met at the club. That scenario is still probably not our strongest skill set in terms of getting it to work out. If something doesn't start to pan out really early on, then we usually just get heated up and play with each other instead of spending all night working and hoping to make it happen with someone else. This is supposed to be fun, start to work at it too hard, and it's not as fun. Too, when she says she is all hot and bothered and needs me to take care of that for her, I'm not in the habit of saying no

 

You will meet some super nice people, and they will respect your boundaries. Go with no expectations other than having a fun and exciting night out together, and you can't go wrong.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,022]

I'm not going to attempt to answer your question. I do know, however, something about swingers' clubs. Even people who have an intention of finding casual sex at a club fail more than half of the time. So give that no thought. But you will be well positioned to talk to people, especially when they come to the realization that you are not just there to try to jump their bones. People having experience enjoy being helpful to those who are just starting. If a couple greet you with a friendly smile, just start a conversation with some bright greeting like, "I really like your dress" or "you two look like a happy couple." Once the conversation starts, you will be on your way to learning something good.

[kikonkrome 843]

So we 'played' with another couple and have frankly found some kind of interaction every time we have gone. We are naturally really outgoing however. Didn't even really think about going with a group or anything. That being said we were and still get really nervous. The only time I (Krome) get performance anxiety is when we are there. Luckily Kiko is happy to help me with that. Kiko definitely drinks a few to relax, I stay sober to make sure everything's ok, and we have a great time.

 

That being said we go as much for the hot atmosphere than anything else. The fun thing that we found is strangers are more happy to talk to you than at a vanilla club.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,022]

. . . The fun thing that we found is strangers are more happy to talk to you than at a vanilla club.

Much more to it, I believe, than the obvious motivation of being friendly in the hope of sex at the end of the path. People who are earnestly engaged in the lifestyle are naturally gregarious.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

SW_PA is right, much more to it than many probably think. Naturally gregarious is true, and the next one after that I would add is swingers are just truly interested in other people. Not a dry and clinical what makes them tick type of interest, but just a warm and open interest. I think too that swingers all live a little vicariously through other swingers. Even on a night it doesn't work out for you, you are glad for them when you see it working out for people that you don't even know, or that you had even the slightest part in introducing to each other. Fun and happiness is contagious if you will just open yourself up to it, and swingers do.

[GoldCoCouple 4,052]

BTW: We do hope for an update once you have gone...

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We were pretty new to the lifestyle when we made our first venture out to a club. We had played once or twice, but those were in situations where we had a first meeting for dinner or drinks, then played on a second get-together. We had never seen the more immediate atmosphere of a club, and did not know anything about how things played out there.

 

We went to a club called Tabu in Baltimore. The area where all the people were hanging out (at least early in the evening) is a pretty loud disco-type setting. We found it very difficult to walk up to strangers and start a conversation, due to the loud music but also because it looked to us like most everybody was already engaged in conversation with others. It seemed like there were lots of cliques among the attendees, clusters of couples who all knew each other, but did not appear all that inviting to us newbies! We did manage to strike up a couple of interesting conversations (though we were still shouting over the thumping music), but those conversations never progressed beyond talk of jobs, hobbies, kids, etc. By a couple hours in, we were thinking that we must not be doing it right, because we were getting nowhere near having any other couples ready to play with us. Finally, we decided to just go over by the play rooms (downstairs at this club, with some couches nearby to wait until a room freed up) reserve the next available play room, and enjoy each other.

 

While we were waiting for a room to free up, we chatted with another couple who were waiting for a specific room. We only spent a few minutes with them, but they seemed friendly and about as green as we were on how this club thing works! It turned out that a room for us opened up before theirs did, and as we stood up to go play, we casually mentioned to them that if they didn't want to wait any more, they were welcome to come and split the room with us! To our pleasant surprise, a few minutes later they knocked on our door and joined us for a fun "same-room kinda soft swap" romp! We still felt like we were doing the club thing wrong, but we had a happy accident at the last minute that resulted in some hot fun.

 

We have since gone to back the same club again, had no luck talking up any couples, played with each other in the group room, and had a couple of women join in the fun with us there. We have also gone to another club where we played with each other only, but at least had more fun conversations beforehand.

 

The last time we went to a club, it was a specific play date with another couple we were meeting there. That was a big ol' boatload of fun! And we have another such plan for tonight, so we'll let you know how that goes.

 

Good luck on your club adventure! We think it is a kinda tough environment to find play partners, and coming in with no expectations other than to have hot sex with your significant other seems like a good way to approach it. If your club has a group room, and you two are into voyeurism and exhibitionism, you can have a great time even if you never touch another couple all night!

 

CoupleInMD79

[Guest]

Prior to our first club visit, we had already had three MFM experiences so didn't feel like we were novices. We chatted to people. I participated in the introductory dance with the other ladies and followed their cue, baring my breasts at the end of the dance. Chatted more but still no invites to the playrooms so we decided to go up and play just the two of us. Met a couple on the way up, they were very friendly. Unfortunately, no knowing exactly how it worked, in followed them into a large bedroom but rather then going into the adjoining bed, we sat on the one across the walk way and another couple behind us took the adjoining one. While we all started out with our own partners, the two couples on adjoining beds linked up fairly quickly. It was a good time regardless but we learned a bit about positioning ourselves at such events.

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

 

Were you nervous you first night going to the club? Did you end up playing with anyone your first night? Whenever you did have your first time did you jump in two feet or did you dip I. Slowly and get "used to the waters" before proceeding further.

 

I think for me, it was a mixture of curiosity and nervousness going to my first club night. However the place we went to was super friendly, and it felt just like any other club, there wasn't this super emphasis on having sex with people, if you wanted to dance the night away or just chat with people, that was cool.

 

The first night I did end up swinging with a friend of mine and a couple. I think the best advice is just go with the flow.

[sunbuckus 3,566]

Were you nervous you first night going to the club? Did you end up playing with anyone your first night? Whenever you did have your first time did you jump in two feet or did you dip in slowly and get "used to the waters" before proceeding further?

 

Yes, we were nervous! I remember Mr. Sun pulling up to the swinging club for the first time. We had talked about swinging, I had even researched a lot about it on this very website, and I was still super nervous. We had to do the whole membership form shebang (we actually had to leave to get some cash for the membership fee and I almost had us back out of the whole thing) and tour. It was all very scary but exciting to be exploring this new hobby together. We mostly stayed on the couch or retreated into the open "couples only" room where we just rubbed each other. That was exciting enough for us. After leaving, I told Mr. Sun that I wished I had performed oral sex on him for others to see so that was what we did on our second visit.

[Guest]

Our first attempt at some type of club activity was a meet and greet off premises. It seemed nice enough, good venue, and all but as we walked about, it seemed to be a series of small groups, very cliquish, and not at all friendly except for, you guessed it, a few single males. So we moved on. Our next attempt was an on premises couples club. People were so much more friendly. Couples would come by, chat a bit, move on and then another couple would do the same. We did really intend to play but ended up walking upstairs to the play room with another couple and enjoying ourselves.

[kikonkrome 843]

Yeah I was nervous the first time and the Mrs. was nervous her first time.

 

Yes we both wound up playing.

 

We still get a bit nervous. I think it's the energy of the place.

[MrDiscover 802]

We were very nervous. In fact, it was our second time because the first time we chickened out right before driving through the gate... We only played with eachother. We dipped in slowly and decided it was probably not for us.

[SH 17]

I wasn't nervous but my wife was. Our first night we had several nice looking couples hit us up. We went upstairs with them but when the couples got naked and started having sex my wife just wanted to watch and not do anything. We then left them and went down to our own room and had some sex. We went several nights later and my wife acted like she was a pro. She had so many guys hard it was exciting. I had so many guys come up to me and tell me my wife was the hottest thing in here for a long time. We later went upstairs after she had excited a good looking black man and had some sex. This was our second time ever even trying this and our fan club was big (my wife's fan club that is). We have not done this again as we live too far from any of it. We were only in California on a vacation. I want to go back.

[Guest]

we didn’t have any meetings or anything else planned, just the two of us going for a look-see and we were nervous. But, we enjoyed meeting so many friendly people and as we started upstairs to the play rooms, one of the couples we had met were walking up behind us. We started out to play alone, but the two of us, but the other couple joined in with us. It was wonderful.