Newbies, don't let on-line foolishness discourage you.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Earlier this week, my wife and I were on the road. So we posted a "Hot Date", as one on-line services calls it, and a "Booty Call", as another on-line service calls it. Well, we received one earnest reply, and that was good. But we also received the usual barrage of foolish replies. The notion came to both of us that if we were not as experienced in the lifestyle as we are, we might have been completely discouraged by the bullshit responses and might have never again tried a Hot Date or a Booty Call.

 

So here is our advice to newbies. Don't let the on-line foolishness discourage you.

 

A person new to on-line searches might not find humor in these. But we have learned to laugh at stuff like this.

 

Actual messages in their entirety (the misspellings and lack of punctuation are theirs, not mine):

 

* I'm clean, sane, safe and an expert at the hind lick maneuver (accompanied by picture of a dick)

* did u find anyone yet (accompanied by picture of a dick)

* your wife is hot just my type

* Hi I saw your Hot Date post (accompanied by picture of a dick)

* hi i have a condo . this is a couples profile but i prefer play alone. give me your # i will call.

 

You just have to expect this sort of thing even when you make it clear in the Hot Date information that you are looking only to meet a couple. There are single men in the swing lifestyle who are worthwhile. We know because we have befriended with more than one. So I repeat, Don't let the on-line foolishness discourage you.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

This is great advice, SW!

[njbm 2,868]

I am getting discouraged. A couple asked if we wanted to meet (by email on SLS). I opened our face pictures and sent a face picture with our email and asked them to send back a face picture. They replied that they are too busy to meet us, with no face picture. Then why did you contact us? All of this occurred within a few days.

 

I think I would rather go to clubs, resorts and cruises and meet real people in person.

[njbm 2,868]

I find almost all inquiries to us on SLS fail at our request for a face picture of the other couple. Are they ugly, lazy, technologically inept or all of the above?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Our solution to the on-line picture exchange dilemma is as follows: we display ourselves to the World Wide Web inviting critique from any and all who visit our profile. That way, we avoid the problem of sending a picture that stuns somebody into silence when opened or disappoints a pervert who had no intention of sending anything in return. To go along with this, we have ready a diplomatically-worded "sorry Charlie" for anybody who sends a message to us and forgets to attach a picture.

 

This technique will not work for everybody. But for people who employ it, results are assured.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We have a few G-rated face pics open in our profiles on SLS and Kasidie as well. Maybe that is helping us?

 

It's a funny thing, the online world. We have been able to set up a lot of in-person get-togethers through SLS. On the other hand, we have met no one locally through Kasidie. Maybe it's a region-by-region thing, as far as which site is popular where?

 

We have not done much with the Hot Date or Booty Call features of the sites we are on. We just check out profiles, and write to the couples we might like to ask if they'd like to meet for dinner sometime. And we get similar emails from other couples from time to time. Oh, and we have joined a few groups as well, to find out about meet-and-greets or other events in our area. We have had a few annoying false starts and people who just want to write back and forth endlessly, but never seem to want to pull the trigger on meeting. But we have also met many great couples this way, and have had a boatload of fun play times!

 

njbm, I hope you have better luck eventually. I like your SLS profile, though I'd like to see an open pic of Mr. Scarletknight29! Too bad you are way up in Livingston, NJ. If you ever get down to the Baltimore/DC area, look us up- we will see if we can honest-to-goodness meet in person!

[sunbuckus 3,567]

njbm, we also keep our face pictures public that way they know right from the start if they are interested or not. It's not really any fun for anyone involved to experience sudden silence after sharing their face pictures or to have to politely decline after receiving a couple's face pictures and find out there's no attraction. After we experienced the latter situation very early on in our swinging journey, we placed a condition on our profile stating that if they contact us without an attachment of a face picture, or opening of an album that had face pictures, we wouldn't respond to any inquiries. It worked some of the time but sometimes people just don't read profiles. So...after a year of swinging we revamped our profile and the condition was taken out.

 

Since we've come to a portion of our swinging journey where we are more calm and settled--not to mention have our share of declined inquiries, received and given--it's not too much of a deal anymore. If they don't want to share face pictures, there's lots more couples out there that will. If they aren't attracted to us, then it's their loss. If we aren't attracted to them, that's just how it is.

[Tia Vampire 167]

I hate it when a couple gets in contact with me and there are no pics of the guy or when single guys get in contact with me, he has no pics of himself. I can understand the need for discretion, but how do a person hope to advertise themselves without pics. I rather meet face to face at a swing club. That way if there is no attraction with the couple or single guy, there are other choices and options.

[Guest finallyfree2476]

ScarletKnight we have face photos on SLS

[Mbgdallas 203]

ScarletKnight we have face photos on SLS

 

I don't quite understand SLS. How does one see the profile pictures?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I don't quite understand SLS. How does one see the profile pictures?

When you're viewing someone's profile, there are several tabs at the top: "Profile", "Galleries", and "Certs". Just click the Galleries tab to see the photo galleries that the user has created, and if they have any galleries that are open for you to see, you should see a little thumbnail of one of the images in each open gallery.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I don't quite understand SLS. How does one see the profile pictures?

Finallyfree has an SLS external profile that you can access with a the link that is in the left column next to each of their forum posts. Unhappily, the SLS people have not recently been able to fix their problem about images appearing with external profiles. If you have no account at the SLS Web site, you will not be able to see their pictures.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Mbgdallas, are you not an SLS member? If you're not, you can join for free! Then you would be able to see any member galleries that are not locked.

[Mbgdallas 203]

Finallyfree has an SLS external profile that you can access with a the link that is in the left column next to each of their forum posts. Unhappily, the SLS people have not recently been able to fix their problem about images appearing with external profiles. If you have no account at the SLS Web site, you will not be able to see their pictures.

 

Thank you. This is the problem. Now I have it. Have to go the long way around

[AngelandTiger 364]

I am getting discouraged. A couple asked if we wanted to meet (by email on SLS). I opened our face pictures and sent a face picture with our email and asked them to send back a face picture. They replied that they are too busy to meet us, with no face picture. Then why did you contact us? All of this occurred within a few days.

 

I think I would rather go to clubs, resorts and cruises and meet real people in person.

 

We've experienced this, and my guess is that they weren't attracted to you and were too rude and selfish (and chicken) to tell you that.

 

AngelandTiger

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I am getting discouraged. A couple asked if we wanted to meet (by email on SLS). I opened our face pictures and sent a face picture with our email and asked them to send back a face picture. They replied that they are too busy to meet us, with no face picture. Then why did you contact us? All of this occurred within a few days?

I'm sorry to hear about this, njbm. They don't know what they're missing!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Online profiles are fine, but you can tell more about a couple in 5 minutes of meeting them that 5 years of texting and emails. You can't tell personalities or if there is a 'connection' via pictures, texting or email. That's why whenever someone contacts us, we will quickly make sure that we are all on the same page and then suggest getting together for a non-play dinner or meeting. If that goes well, then (and only then) do we think about going any further. More couples need to realize that there is more to a couple than just a pretty face (picture).

[MarniJohn 172]

We know so many couples with profile pics on SLS and SDC, etc. They all lie about their age (some by as much as 10 years) and their pictures make them look a whole lot better than they do in person. From I've heard, it's no different from online dating. Swing clubs are the best place to meet people face to face.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

One comment on ages...some online websites don't automatically update ages. So when you put that you are say 30...5 years later, it still says 30 because it looks at that number as text instead of something that should be changed. Not deception on the poster, just usually an oversight.

[enhancer 1,584]

As people that have been doing the online thing for years we have to agree to not get discouraged by all the losers that do lurk around on there! You just need to have a thick skin and learn to laugh off all the bullshit that will and does come your way.

 

There are some really great people out there that will make it worthwhile if you can get past all the other ones. Look for the ones that actually put time into writing their profile and at the very least have pics of everyone who wants to be involved body types to start out with. We don't bother with the ones that don't.

 

Be as clear as you can on your on profile about what you are looking for and include pics that at least show your body type to start out with.

 

Do not be another one of the many cock pic losers on there! Women do not care what your penis looks like if they have no clue what you look like. We will just reply to these guys with not interested you look like a dick.

 

As for the flakes that will not return face pics don't lose any sleep over it! They are not getting anywhere in the lifestyle anyways are probably not nearly as hot as they think they are. If they snub you like this that was their one chance. Do not give them another. Nobody is that special that they should get away with being disrespectful to other people trying to live the same lifestyle as them.

 

Take a no bullshit approach to online searching! Don't put up with any and don't give any out. Karma is a bitch and will come back to haunt you if you are giving the bad stuff out.

[cplnluv1 871]

I have written before that we met our first couple online. On CL no less. We don't answer dick pictures nor pussy pictures. We don't answer blow job pictures. We DO answer g rated couple pictures. If you are a couple you should have a couple picture. If you do send genital pictures, you better have a normal couple picture too. Sure we have been burned. Went to a meeting place and no one there. We don't text either. My phone number is private until we know you. We got burned so many times in the beginning we were going to give up. The couple we met the first time was too good to be real. Pictures were too good. Never expected to see the people in the pictures. They were real. She was very nice. He was a jerk. Every picture tells a story but maybe the whole story.