One couple has many many swinger profiles

[wolf4388 39]

Hi, everyone. I wanted to ask some of you fine people on your opinion of something. There is a couple we know and have had experience with that we discovered had many different swinger profiles, with different ages, locations, and what they were looking for. Five to be exact.

 

I was curious on why someone would want to do this? I am thinking it is to compound there chances of connecting with people. I guess I shouldn't worry about it, really none of my business, but I just wanted to hear if anyone else thinks this is strange or unusual. Thanks in advance for your insights.

[Guest Androgynygrl]

I have a huge aversion to liars. I won't play with anyone who is lying to a spouse or who lies on a profile. To me it just shows a huge character flaw and turns me right off. I also think having that many profiles looks a tad desperate, also a turn off. This is just my personal opinion. My husband and I differ in this. He believes only our morals and intentions matter and the other person's issues are there's. I just can't follow that logic. Sex is such a mental thing. If I know you're dishonest I'm just automatically turned off. Again just my opinion, zero judgment.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Hmmmm, for different locations, it might be understandable if they travel a lot and there isn't some other system in place where they can find other swingers in different locales other than their hometown or to change their profile's location whenever they are traveling. The different ages thing...are they around the same age? It could be a case where they forget to update all of their profiles every year. I know that SLS doesn't update the ages every year so we have to do that manually. Now, I have heard of couples making a new profile every so often because new profiles get more attention than old ones.

 

If it bothers you, I don't see the harm in casually bringing it up. "Hey, I was browsing (swinger website) and I came across a different profile for you guys. What's going on there?"

 

Another thought came to mind...perhaps a picture collector used their pictures and made different profiles to try to collect pictures from other couples. Just another theory.

[Guest]

Too many fish in the sea to keep one that doesn’t quite smell right.

[intuition897 2,179]

Too many fish in the sea to keep one that doesn’t quite smell right.

 

Literally LOL. That needs to be your signature line chiccouplexx!

 

I agree that dishonesty is a huge turn-off. As Sunbuckus said, if it's virtually the same ad for different locales, that's one thing. Or if it's an old inactive ad that they haven't updated in years and it shows old pictures and ages (something we're guilty of I'm sure), that's also not a big deal. It's when the ads are actively misleading that I take issue with it. We ended up meeting a couple in person once who were a good 15-20 years older than their profile pictures. And still trying to play it off like they were younger than they were. It was obvious and pretty pathetic. They were definitely outside our age bracket at the time, but they might've had a better shot if they had just been honest from the start. But when you start out lying to us, you have NO shot. None.

 

EDIT: By the way, I realize that sometimes people will fudge their ages a little. For example, if you're 45, but are blessed with the genes that make you look, feel and act like you're 35 - and you can pull it off - I really don't care much about the number. If you look like you're 35, but are 45, split the difference at 40. But as a rule of thumb, stretch the truth any more than 5 years and it won't work. If you want to know what I mean, do a google search for a woman named Mimi Kirk. She was voted Sexiest Vegan over 60. The woman is in her 70's and looks like she's in her early 50's. I guess that's what you get when you eat nothing but raw fruits and veggies.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Why do they do it? Dunno.

 

But, if you've noticed it, then chances are, other people have noticed it, probably been turned off by it, and became "couples they'll never get with".

 

So, I can't see it being a positive move.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I've seen several people who have ONE profile, but have where they live being either listed incorrectly or having it change...usually to help protect or hide where they are actually from (so that a neighbor or coworker who might run across their profile won't 'connect the dots'), but several profiles...we don't like liars either. Bah bye!

[Guest Ready2dewit]

I'm glad that I am not the only one who has run into this and found it to be fishy! I know some people who have couples and singles profiles, if they play separately, etc. but have run into people who have completely different lives, spouses, or locations. Maybe they are in the witness protection program? Or maybe they will be shortly? LOL

[fun4Ds 1,098]

How are you so sure all 5 are the same couple ?

 

Is it the same photos in all 5 ?

 

Have you had contact through all or some of them ?

 

Are the profiles on one site or multiple sites your pegging as them ?

 

Free or paid profiles ?

 

Just putting on my detective hat.

[wolf4388 39]

Hi, I am 99% sure. I know the clothing she wears and have was with her multiple times. The wording and uses of the same phrases are the key. Just an update, Number 6 showed up this week....lol....

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I wanted to add that sometimes couples will make new profiles every so often because new profiles tend to get more attention right away than older, "stale" ones. I've also seen couples make new profiles to try and get away with the drama that surrounded their old profile. Those are more theories to consider.

[MrsO 15]

Well, I'll throw my hat into this discussion. My husband wants us to create a third profile because, as some people here have figured out, new profiles get more immediately noticed than old, stale ones. But here's another reason: creating a new profile with different descriptions might men you'll get to meet people you may have contacted previously who, for whatever reason, "rejected" you. Maybe age. weight. preferences. etc. We (and I use that term loosely) have been in initial contact with almost 300 couples/singles in 3 years. Met almost 40. "Played" with 5. I don't like the dishonesty or manipulation either. Those of you who used the term "desperation," are not too far off. He has a need to control and this is his way of controlling the odds. So, in the newest profile, I'll be described as bi-curious instead of straight (since it seems like most couples are looking for that); we'll be wild instead of moderate; new pictures will be posted. I feel like I'm on a runaway train and can't get off.

[angelkin 1,326]

Well, I'll throw my hat into this discussion. My husband wants us to create a third profile because, as some people here have figured out, new profiles get more immediately noticed than old, stale ones. But here's another reason: creating a new profile with different descriptions might men you'll get to meet people you may have contacted previously who, for whatever reason, "rejected" you. Maybe age. weight. preferences. etc. We (and I use that term loosely) have been in initial contact with almost 300 couples/singles in 3 years. Met almost 40. "Played" with 5. I don't like the dishonesty or manipulation either. Those of you who used the term "desperation," are not too far off. He has a need to control and this is his way of controlling the odds. So, in the newest profile, I'll be described as bi-curious instead of straight (since it seems like most couples are looking for that); we'll be wild instead of moderate; new pictures will be posted. I feel like I'm on a runaway train and can't get off.

 

First, thanks for lending some insight into this issue. I find your husband's reasoning interesting. Second - Yes, you can get off the train. This would be your profile too and it sounds like your husband's controlling nature is leading the two of you down a path of destruction, dishonesty, and discontent.

 

Personally, I couldn't be party to misleading potential playmates in this way. Not only is it unfair, but in the end, your local swing community will just stop playing with you. Nobody likes to be mislead and most swingers pride themselves on their honesty and transparency. Such a manipulation would surely limit your potential new playmates to only the newbie pool since they wouldn't be aware of your multiple profiles.

 

Have the two of you talked about how you feel about the multiple profiles?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I'd also like to add, MrsO (and MrO, if you would like to pass along the information onto him) that multiple profiles for the same location is definitely a red flag for those who browse the profiles often. If the same pictures are used for each profile but with slightly different preferences or sexualities, it doesn't take too long for singles and couples to say, "Hey, we've seen that couple before but with a different profile name!" Then they dig around, find the other profile(s) and will wonder which is true or not. They will stay far, far away from such dishonesty and manipulation, as angelkin, mentioned. If you truly feel like you're on a "runaway train" then you need to be able to sit down and talk with MrO about how you feel and I hope he listens so you two can stop and reconsider the path that you two are on.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I have noticed that whenever we change our public profile pic, we get a bump in contacts. So, why change your whole profile details when you can still be honest about who you are and just keep your pics fresh if you are wanting to maximize your number of contacts?

 

Which leads me to my next point, which is maximizing contacts doesn't automatically equal maximizing compatible couples. We don't get a lot of contacts, and we're picky, and yet we still have what I consider a good success ratio. To use MrsO's numbers, I don't want to spend my time being in contact with 300 couples to play with five of them. I want to spend my time being in contact with ten couples to meet seven of them and play with five of them. The other 290 of them, I really don't care if they were a contact or not since that isn't how we determine success or "keep score". Have a good profile that honestly represents who you really are, and that will go a long way to finding compatible matches in my opinion.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

MrsO: ARE you now bi-curious? ARE you wild instead of moderate now? If you are not, then they will eventually find this out and you have just wasted each others time. Truth in advertising...say what you are and what you want and be those things and when you do meet another couple you will all at least start on the same page.