5 keys to start swinging and keep swinging fun

[macple 19]

So I started to think about what are the aspects to successful swinging and I came up with five that seem to dictate what makes swinging work and be fun When my wife and I have all five working in harmony we seem to have the most fun. If one of the five keys is out, swinging becomes a struggle and more work than fun. So please read and let me know what you think!

 

1st Key: Attractiveness

 

Attractiveness can come in many flavors but I think it boils down to you liking yourself and seeing yourself as sexy. If you feel you’re overweight and unattractive then everyone else will see it too. Only you can fix the 1st key. When this key shines you’ll have a much easier time meeting other couples. Know how to dress sexy! This goes for you males too!

 

2nd Key: Availability

 

You can’t meet new couples if you don’t put yourself out there. Put yourself in situations where swinging is a possibility. Do you go out? Do you have sexy friends (even if vanilla)? Swinging is a social activity and can’t happen when you’re alone in your house. Having the 1st key shine will make you feel confident working on the 2nd key.

 

3rd Key: Communication

 

You and your mate have to be on the same page. This goes without saying. My wife and I are always in sync with what we want and what we’re comfortable with. Without communication no one will have any fun.

 

4th Key: Being comfortable having sex with others

 

No one knows how you’ll feel until it happens. Once you swap for the first time you need lots of communication with your partner. I’ve noticed this is the true test for newbies. Watching your partner have super-hot sex with someone else can be amazing or very traumatic. Don’t rush it because it will change how you feel about yourself and your partner (good or bad). Be open to the experience and have no regrets. Once you get this rhythm going all future encounters will be amazing.

 

5th Key: Performance

 

This seems to be more of a male problem but it can be very traumatic experience for newbies. No matter how horny you are for it you never know how your penis will react to a real encounter. My best advice if you have doubts is take Viagra to start and not beat yourself up. It’s easy to get from your doctor and will make you feel more confident. Once you feel confident having sex with other people in the room (plus listening to your mate get it hard!) You’ll have the best experiences.

 

 

After swinging for a few years now we noticed some keys will dim and make the lifestyle difficult again. For us if we keep all five keys shining we have the best times in the lifestyle. I’m curious what others think.

[Trophy1802 132]

Kind of like these and we are definitely on the same page when it comes to attractiveness and communication.

 

We have met other couples who we were interested in. However, as one or the other, the male or the female, was not very confident in their looks or abilities, it soon became a turn off and things went sour. Being confident about your looks and making yourself is like a telepathic message that makes you more attractive to other people and really helps make the connection.

 

Communication between yourself and your spouse/partner and communication between yourselves and another couple helps to avoid and misunderstandings that could lead to such problems as jealousy, or someone feeling being left out.

 

The rest are also a good guide to swing by.

[CB&DD 218]

Seems very well thought out and clearly written. This is a good read for experienced and new participants in the LS. Thanks for taking the time to share your tips.

[Brad145 58]

6th key: Don't take yourself so damn seriously :P

 

If you aren't enjoying yourself none of the other keys matter.

[MrDiscover 802]

Ok. So when you are enjoying yourself, it's no big deal during swinging if you are not comfortable with having sex with others, all while you are not comfortable with your (non-performing) body?

[Brad145 58]

If you aren't enjoying yourself, you won't be having sex with others because people will steer clear of you.

[forsure79 26]

You left out the 6th key: All of the keys above can be significantly altered by the person/couple you and your wife/girlfriend choose to swing with. I encourage any couple thinking about swinging to read A Swing and a Miss and Swinging by a Thread by Audra Morgan. These two books (both by Audra Morgan) chronicle the numerous ways swinging can go wrong (courtesy of the other swinging couple/person).

[luv2was 117]

OP:

Thanks for posting these. Nice summary. Well done.

 

Comment:

Thanks for the book references.

 

Swinging by a Thread : by Audra Morgan … ref

 

A Swing and a Miss : by Audra Morgan … ref

 

... I checked them both out, and was able to read a few pages at Amazon. Will be adding these to my Kindle library for sure.

;-)