My wife cums "better" with other guys than with me.

[Linde 23]

This probably shouldn't bother me. The input from other readers would interest me. When my wife and I have sex she cums. Mildly would be a good word. When she has sex with other guys, she cums loudly, with spasms and shaking. These are wild orgasms. She has squirted with others, but never with me. (I have tried.) I don't think its about technique. I do understand the process, watched the videos, taken suggestions from the guys who made her squirt, etc.

 

She says she doesn't get into squirting all that much, but she really seems to like it when it's happening. I suspect she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. She says that sex with me is the best, but I seriously doubt that.

 

Now, I'm really not worried that she'll leave me for another guy. We've been together for a long time and have been very happy.

 

So my question is: Am I making something out of nothing or should I be concerned?

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

[oc1234 435]

Yes, I think you are probably being over concerned. My wife cums a lot more when we are involved in a threesome with another guy than with me alone. I really am turned on by the thought of her really cumming with another guy even if it is her and the other guy alone.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

She says that sex with me is the best, but I seriously doubt that.

 

So, my question is: why do your doubt her? Because she is more vocal and expressive with other guys? That isn't necessarily any indication.

 

I can't speak for your wife but I can share my experience with my own. My wife loves to perform for an audience. When she's with another guy, and she knows I'm watching, she tends to make a show of it. She knows I like to see her like that and she likes to have people get turned on watching her. Maybe your wife is doing the same thing, consciously or not.

[Guest Ready2dewit]

I don't think you have anything to worry about...sometimes it is just mechanics, or the thrill of novelty or performance, like Lionheart has mentioned. I doubt your marriage hinges on who supplies the most theatrics during orgasm.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Nothing to be concerned about. Newness, different, Strange, what ever you want to call it is exciting. You and her will have different reactions to something different. Just human nature.

Don't over think things, just have fun.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Those things that you recognize that shouldn't bother you but in fact still do are often the most frustrating.

 

I don't think what you describe is unique. A good swinging experience is super exciting, that's one of the reasons we do it, right? When she is super turned on during a swinging experience, I am happy for her. I don't worry about it that she's not always at that same level of excitement every time we have sex together. Sometimes she is, but just because it's your own personal sexual life doesn't mean its immune from stress, fatigue, bad day at work, etc. to intrude and keep things from being over the top each and every time.

 

Swinging sex is like a vacation, you've stepped away from your normal routine and put some distance between yourself and those negative things so they are less like to be pulling you down. Add in the excitement of a different partner, and that can really ratchet things up. Try to keep in mind the positive benefit of that in the bigger overall picture and not just in the moment, and maybe those feelings will start to subside.

[couplers 4,638]

It's not the guy, it's the variety, the novelty of the new person. And you the one who gives it to her.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I love making the woman I love happy. I feel as if our bond is stronger if she can relax and have an incredible orgasm with another man in front of me.

[newmajor00 48]

I concur with the previous comments. For your consideration, both my wife and I admit we are often overly theatrical when playing with others. Only the best for our guests...

[Guest sandraandalex]

We have both noticed, how on occasion, that we're almost having 'too good a time' with someone else. We've discussed it and we're no longer troubled by it. After all, sex is about having fun and sometimes we have a lot of fun . I wouldn't worry about a thing. She wouldn't be so expressive if she weren't comfortable with you seeing it. That says a lot about how much she loves you and more importantly, knows how much she feels loved by you, in return.

[dannoci 15]

It's all about the physical pleasure. We know we are in love with each other.

 

Suppose when me and my wife swing, me the guy has such a great cum with different woman. How would the wife feel? Just wondering.

[Guest]

You men, you want to see the wives playing with other men, you tell us that it would be exciting for you. So we get with another man, either individually or with you in a threesome or whatever, based on what you have told us we think we are making you super excited by doing this and that alone makes us more excited than we are when it is just the two of us. In my case, I think I actually have better orgasms when I am with hubby, he knows how to get me off and keeps it going once I start. Most men seem to shut it down once you hit that first one. But, I am much "hotter" and much more wild with I am in a threesome with hubby or doing another guy and knowing he is watching me if only incidentally while he is engaged elsewhere. Part of it is that just to engage with the other guy, I am letting go, putting on my "slut" frame of mind. Part of it is doing things with this other man that ensure that hubby is watching me and getting turned on by me as well as by the woman he is with.

[dannoci 15]

How would you feel knowing i am having a better time with sex with other partners .?

[Guest]

You wouldn't be "swinging" if we weren't having better times doing it. If you don't enjoy lobster, you go back and just eat steak or burgers or whatever. That doesn't mean you want lobster all of the time, it's just a nice treat once in a while. And if your hubby is doing an little extra work to get you the lobster, its all the better. Men hit on me and I ignore it, I'm not interested. Men hit on me at a club or a bar, hubby offers a few words of encouragement, my skirt slides up to show a bit more thigh and I become excitedly flirtatious. Whether it ends up in an MFM, a swap or whatever, its all the more exciting because I have the hubby's encouragement, blessing, whatever. It may be more exciting but its because of his contribution or role in it all.

[Linde 23]

You men, you want to see the wives playing with other men, you tell us that it would be exciting for you. So we get with another man, either individually or with you in a threesome or whatever, based on what you have told us we think we are making you super excited by doing this and that alone makes us more excited than we are when it is just the two of us. In my case, I think I actually have better orgasms when I am with hubby, he knows how to get me off and keeps it going once I start. Most men seem to shut it down once you hit that first one. But, I am much "hotter" and much more wild with I am in a threesome with hubby or doing another guy and knowing he is watching me if only incidentally while he is engaged elsewhere. Part of it is that just to engage with the other guy, I am letting go, putting on my "slut" frame of mind. Part of it is doing things with this other man that ensure that hubby is watching me and getting turned on by me as well as by the woman he is with.

 

Thanks for your point of view. See? This is exactly why I posted the question. Getting your input seems to put everything in proper perspective. Thanks to all of you for your views.

My wife and I talked about this since the original post. She said that of course the sex was better when we swing. "It's better for you, too, right?" I admitted she was right. For all the reasons mentioned in the responses from all you good people. I shouldn't let my stupid male ego get in the way enjoying such wonderful experiences with my lady, right?

[10thBadger 25]

On 12/20/2014 at 11:38 AM, Linde said:

This probably shouldn't bother me. The input from other readers would interest me. When my wife and I have sex she cums. Mildly would be a good word. When she has sex with other guys, she cums loudly, with spasms and shaking. These are wild orgasms. She has squirted with others, but never with me. (I have tried.) I don't think its about technique. I do understand the process, watched the videos, taken suggestions from the guys who made her squirt, etc.

 

She says she doesn't get into squirting all that much, but she really seems to like it when it's happening. I suspect she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. She says that sex with me is the best, but I seriously doubt that.

 

Now, I'm really not worried that she'll leave me for another guy. We've been together for a long time and have been very happy.

 

So my question is: Am I making something out of nothing or should I be concerned?

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

One thing I learned from this site is that your feelings are valid. Don’t let anybody say that your feelings are not valid.

 

I know you’re not making something out of nothing, if she’s having mild orgasms with you and she’s having crazy wild shaking orgasms with other men. And then coming back and telling you that you’re the best but when you see it with your own eyes. You know she is lying to you. You don’t need anybody in this room to tell you that. Because you are there and you see it for yourself. This is a secondhand knowledge that you were getting that she’s having these Extreme  erotic orgasms. You can see it firsthand.

 

I would be upset about her lying to me. To sit there and lie in your face and tell you something that you see with your own eyes. Everybody in this community talks about being honest to make a secure relationship. But she cannot even be honest with you about  what you see firsthand when she’s with another man.

[10thBadger 25]

On 12/20/2014 at 1:10 PM, Lionheart72 said:

She says that sex with me is the best, but I seriously doubt that.

 

So, my question is: why do your doubt her? Because she is more vocal and expressive with other guys? That isn't necessarily any indication.

 

I can't speak for your wife but I can share my experience with my own. My wife loves to perform for an audience. When she's with another guy, and she knows I'm watching, she tends to make a show of it. She knows I like to see her like that and she likes to have people get turned on watching her. Maybe your wife is doing the same thing, consciously or not.

Obviously he is doubting her because he’s the one in the room with her, seeing her having wild and crazy orgasms and he is saying that she has very mild orgasms with him. Come on dude this guy is right there in the room, she could tell the difference from what she’s doing with him and what she’s doing with somebody else.

[10thBadger 25]

On 12/20/2014 at 1:34 PM, cplnuswing said:

Those things that you recognize that shouldn't bother you but in fact still do are often the most frustrating.

 

I don't think what you describe is unique. A good swinging experience is super exciting, that's one of the reasons we do it, right? When she is super turned on during a swinging experience, I am happy for her. I don't worry about it that she's not always at that same level of excitement every time we have sex together. Sometimes she is, but just because it's your own personal sexual life doesn't mean its immune from stress, fatigue, bad day at work, etc. to intrude and keep things from being over the top each and every time.

 

Swinging sex is like a vacation, you've stepped away from your normal routine and put some distance between yourself and those negative things so they are less like to be pulling you down. Add in the excitement of a different partner, and that can really ratchet things up. Try to keep in mind the positive benefit of that in the bigger overall picture and not just in the moment, and maybe those feelings will start to subside.

Me and my wife are a newbie so I just wanna ask you this one question since I read your rebuttal.

 

So you saying that your wife can act like a fish and everything should be OK, because you have the day today stress/fatigue/bad day at work? So he should be OK with Mandane sex with his wife and be OK with her climb in the walls with a perfect Stranger. You think that’s fair to the husband? Do you think that he should have no concern about this? Now I have read a lot of what many of you have said about the newness and  something different. But if your wife is not able to give you that excitement in your own bedroom, then why the hell should he except less in his bedroom? That last question was from my wife.

[10thBadger 25]

On 12/20/2014 at 4:00 PM, couplers said:

It's not the guy, it's the variety, the novelty of the new person. And you the one who gives it to her.

Well he’s pretty much saying that he’s not getting nothing from it that’s why he’s asking the question.

[10thBadger 25]

On 12/23/2014 at 9:08 AM, Guest said:

You men, you want to see the wives playing with other men, you tell us that it would be exciting for you. So we get with another man, either individually or with you in a threesome or whatever, based on what you have told us we think we are making you super excited by doing this and that alone makes us more excited than we are when it is just the two of us. In my case, I think I actually have better orgasms when I am with hubby, he knows how to get me off and keeps it going once I start. Most men seem to shut it down once you hit that first one. But, I am much "hotter" and much more wild with I am in a threesome with hubby or doing another guy and knowing he is watching me if only incidentally while he is engaged elsewhere. Part of it is that just to engage with the other guy, I am letting go, putting on my "slut" frame of mind. Part of it is doing things with this other man that ensure that hubby is watching me and getting turned on by me as well as by the woman he is with.

So you’re saying that you cannot let go with your husband but you are more than willing to let go with a total stranger and your husband is supposed enjoyed it? Know if he will let it go with your husband and when you were swimming they didn’t go with everybody else, did he could see that it is normally you. But when you don’t do it with your husband and let go and you let go with everybody else but your husband. What is he supposed to think?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

19 minutes ago, 10thBadger said:

Me and my wife are a newbie so I just wanna ask you this one question since I read your rebuttal.

 

So you saying that your wife can act like a fish and everything should be OK, because you have the day today stress/fatigue/bad day at work? So he should be OK with Mandane sex with his wife and be OK with her climb in the walls with a perfect Stranger. You think that’s fair to the husband? Do you think that he should have no concern about this?

 

I think the point I was making was not to get hung up based on any one event, either in your own personal sex life, or with swinging sex.  It's a matter of time and place too.  You have sex a whole lot more with your partner at home, after supper is cooked and cleaned up, looking at all the chores that need done but aren't, after work, etc.  Then, there's a special night out. No workday still on your mind, someone brought you a nice meal and set it right in front of you, then you went to a club or had drinks at a bar with your new swinging friends, and so on.  Time and place totally different.  It's like vacation sex with your spouse, that's usually more high energy and intense than Thursday night before bed sex at home too.

[10thBadger 25]

2 minutes ago, cplnuswing said:

 

I think the point I was making was not to get hung up based on any one event, either in your own personal sex life, or with swinging sex.  It's a matter of time and place too.  You have sex a whole lot more with your partner at home, after supper is cooked and cleaned up, looking at all the chores that need done but aren't, after work, etc.  Then, there's a special night out. No workday still on your mind, someone brought you a nice meal and set it right in front of you, then you went to a club or had drinks at a bar with your new swinging friends, and so on.  Time and place totally different.  It's like vacation sex with your spouse, that's usually more high energy and intense than Thursday night before bed sex at home too.

OK I see what you’re saying and I totally agree with you. But I don’t think it’s really fair for her husband to have something less or shall I say less motivation from the woman that he loves just because they are married. If he is getting a woman in the bed every night and like you said she is just laying there almost like waiting for him to finish just because of being married and then looking at the same woman after going out having dinner having drinks at a nice club and then having sex with other men and going  out of her mind and making loud noises and having crazy orgasms. What is her husband supposed to think. My wife is sitting right next to me and she said, he’s been cheated out of all the energy that she is willing to give another man but he’s getting dead fish. My wife just say it again, if he was getting the same at home, it would be a different story but he’s not getting the same or better.

 

But I do understand what you’re saying just to make that clear