Wife seems not as interested in swinging now

[Guest nakedal]

Yep - that's where we seem to be at right now ... the last couple of weeks in particular, talk of another guy/ cock/ mouth/ pair of hands had been a common theme and while I'd been introducing the topic more often, my wife would also independently talk about cock generically rather than just mine, about men rather than just me ... that sort of thing ... and after I had told her how and why I'd love for another guy to suck her one tit while I suck the other as she rides me cowgirl (our favourite position) ... she didn't say much but I could tell from her orgasm that she was turned on ... was it the thought of another guy sucking or was it coming anyway??? Anyway that and some of her smiles that she couldn't keep from making at some of our "naughty talk" about other guys led me to believe that at least a part of her was attracted to the idea - a fairly significant part I thought ... (and actually I still think that a part of her likes the idea!!)

 

When we were making love yesterday morning, I was more direct in my talk than I'd ever been - I think we were spooning while my hands explored the whole of her body - and I was nibbling her neck and shoulders intermittently - I started talking about how great it would to have another guy on the other side to stimulate more of her than I was actually able to from my position ... she was a bit taken aback at this, saying that she doesn't need anyone else, reminding me of how I'd once suggested swinging to her, that she thought I just wanted to have sex with other women. I told her while that would be fun I thought, what I really wanted was to see her indulging her "naughty girl" side and also get stimulated in as many places as possible .. to give her an even more exciting experience than we'd be able to with just the two of us ... how what turns me on more than anything is when she's excited and enjoying sex ... she said I was all she wanted ... and also how it could be dangerous - what if she decided she wanted to run off with the other guy - I said we're very much in love so that wouldn't happen ... that it might just be a one off for a bit of fun ... she also said that God wouldn't like it (we both are Christians) and I said He might not, but it would be fun and we do other bad things too - which is true! ... I continued to talk about how much fun it would be to blindfold her and for her to guess who was doing what to her ... she said she'd know how I felt anyway - I said I didn't mind too much - but it would be fun for example to feel the difference between my kinky cock (it curves upwards and slightly to the left) -and a straighter one for example - but she said she wouldn't orgasm this time since she was too distracted ... and was true to her word ...

 

She was telling me how I'm not normal, but not in an accusing way - but I think she likes that in me too in a way! She knows that I desire her and she keeps telling me how high my sex drive is - I tell her it's her fault for being the world's sexiest woman - she turns me on like no-one else of course! and has a fantastic body for someone of any age - certainly for a 50 year old ... she is luscious and a good shape - everything is just the right size and shape!!

 

Anyway, why am I writing this? Firstly to just update you on where we're at, secondly to see whether any other people have walked this path and how that developed for them and thirdly to see how others read this, since I don't want to keep pushing her into something she might not on balance actually want. It seems better to me to just leave things as they are for now (with just generic talk about wanting to suck both her tits at once, wishing I had an extra pair of hands and stuff like that, although often just to enjoy our lovemaking between us.

 

As always, viewpoints, comments and stories much appreciated. Thanks!

 

Al

[sunbuckus 3,567]

... she also said that God wouldn't like it (we both are Christians) ...

 

She was telling me how I'm not normal....

 

Al, thank you for keeping us updated. I quoted the above because I think this is the crux of the issue for your wife. Having fantasies of other people and having a faith in a religion that views adultery as simple as gazing at another person with lust...is something that will create deep conflict in someone. I went through a very religious phase when I was younger. Certain life experiences soured me on religion. If I hadn't "soured" on it, I think I would have had a very hard time reconciling my faith with swinging. Some members on here, who I respect very much, are able to reconcile their faith with swinging. Perhaps your wife can do the same but that is a very personal journey that she has to undertake. For something like that, a lot of reading, researching, and contemplation will need to be done...unfortunately, it's nothing that you can really do other than to support her. No coercing, convincing, or "encouraging" to take a certain path. Good luck to you and your wife.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think you are correct in leaving things as they are for now. Until she definitively says no, end of discussion, that doesn't mean you can't keep discussing it when both of you are in the mood to do so. I wouldn't push that to the point of nagging or badgering, but just let her know you are open to talking even if the answer isn't going to be what she knows you want to hear. The swinging talk can bring up all sorts of things that are good for a couple to talk about, whether it ever leads to swinging or not.

[Guest nakedal]

Good spot sunbuckus ... on the one hand she has always been a "good girl" but I also see how much she enjoys being "naughty" too - particularly when she's been encouraged, so maybe in a way that puts some of the naughtiness on me - which I don't mind ... does that make sense?

[Guest nakedal]

A really nice summary cplnus Thank you ... that seems to sum up the best way forward with this It has been fun so far and as a result I think we are both freer in our talk without being able to shock the other one now ... quite apart from the fun!

[CB&DD 218]

We sorta struggled with the religion vs swinging question. What we finally came up with that made sense to us was this. What we choose as a couple to do within our marriage with both of us involved and a part of the decision making process doesn't come across as against the relationship. Cheating, secrets or deceit is absolutely against the foundation of a relationship and therefore both wrong and detrimental. That's the condensed version of what we came up with that works for us. It did take quite a bit of reading and soul searching before we came to that conclusion. Maybe let everything rest for a while and see if she brings it back up. Give her some time to ponder it and decide if it's something she may actually be interested in just nervous about. If she never broaches the subject again then you know.

[Guest nakedal]

Thank you both ...

 

That does make a lot of sense - I'll need to dwell on what you say and chew it over re religion vs swinging - it's certainly what I'd like to believe - it seems as though things like pride, coolness towards the sufferings of others, lack of love are actually far worse to me than having fun sexually with others (as long as we both are in control of our choices and are enjoying it) ... but we would both need to come to that conclusion for ourselves.

 

Letting it lie for now is the right approach, isn't it? Thank you for your wise words

 

Keep enjoying the lifestyle and thanks again

[MidWestMan 33]

Al, I see a lot of Mrs. MidWestMan and I in this thread. As others have advised, just let it mellow and wait for her to bring it up. If she's anything like my Mrs, she will bring it up on her own when you least expect it. We are no farther down our path than you are down yours, but Mrs. MidWestMan has neither written it off nor forgotten about it even though we've been talking about it for over a year now. Each time she brings it up it seems to come with a little more enthusiasm. While I don't know if we'll ever make it all the way to swinging, we are having fun as we create our own path to the fullest realization of our relationship.

 

In short, good luck and enjoy the journey!

[Guest nakedal]

Al, I see a lot of Mrs. MidWestMan and I in this thread. As others have advised, just let it mellow and wait for her to bring it up. If she's anything like my Mrs, she will bring it up on her own when you least expect it. We are no farther down our path than you are down yours, but Mrs. MidWestMan has neither written it off nor forgotten about it even though we've been talking about it for over a year now. Each time she brings it up it seems to come with a little more enthusiasm. While I don't know if we'll ever make it all the way to swinging, we are having fun as we create our own path to the fullest realization of our relationship.

 

In short, good luck and enjoy the journey!

 

Thank you!!

 

This is very encouraging ... If, in 12 months time, we are in roughly the same position you're in today, I will be quite happy! If we are happily enjoying some MFM and she is loving it, i!'ll be ecstatic of course! But continuing to explore the boundaries, be honest with each other and kick around some fantasies is a great, exciting journey to be on, wherever it leads.

 

Interestingly she has brought up the subject of her own accord with playful comments two or three times since my overt confession the other day, so I still think there's some interest there... I'll keep you all posted if you're interested anyway! Could be a slow burner here...!

[MidWestMan 33]

No shame in the slow burn. More to enjoy that way.

[CB&DD 218]

Just a thought here, but have you tried introducing a toy to simulate a three some? Even before we discussed the lifestyle DD liked being double penetrated with me and a small dildo. Then as things progressed we got her a larger one with a suction cup end that we could stick to the headboard so she could ride it while going down on me. That was our baby steps towards a third participant, plus a hell of a lot of fun for us both. Just thought that was maybe something you two could try to indulge yourselves without going straight to a real person. It may also calm her a little to see how much you enjoy seeing her enjoying two penises. I know I still enjoy watching DD do that, still do it on nights where it's just us.

[Guest nakedal]

Just a thought here, but have you tried introducing a toy to simulate a three some? Even before we discussed the lifestyle DD liked being double penetrated with me and a small dildo. Then as things progressed we got her a larger one with a suction cup end that we could stick to the headboard so she could ride it while going down on me. That was our baby steps towards a third participant, plus a hell of a lot of fun for us both. Just thought that was maybe something you two could try to indulge yourselves without going straight to a real person. It may also calm her a little to see how much you enjoy seeing her enjoying two penises. I know I still enjoy watching DD do that, still do it on nights where it's just us.

 

This is a really good idea!

 

When we've talked about toys in the past (my idea!) she said she prefers a real one! She was talking in the singular here ... but it would be a "safer" way of exploring what it was like - it would certainly fit in with my desire of trying to stimulate her in more places and ways than my two hands and cock and mouth and rest of body can manage!

[payal1 22]

Keep trying and rest assure it will happen one day. In the meanwhile make your sex more kinkier and spicy

[Guest nakedal]

Thanks payal. I hope so! My sense is we're in a period where I need to back off the talk for a little bit till she brings it back in herself... It's been more me initiating talk the last couple of times we've talked ... I might disappear from here for a few days since I don't think I should get too fixated on the idea... That might put her off...