Help, how do I get my wife into swinging?

[mrandy09 16]

How do I get my wife to swing?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the Swingers Board! Great to have you as a member.

 

I guess the first question is have you asked her, and if so, has she expressed any level of interest at all in swinging? If the first answer is no, then you need to do that. If you have asked and she has some interest but isn't sure, then you all need to do more talking and research together. For both of those things, I recommend browsing around in the Curious About Swinging forum, you should find some good information there or better yet, post a new thread asking about your specific situation and I'm sure you will get some replies.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Welcome to the forum, mrandy09. cplnuswing is absolutely right. First you need to know if she is interested in swinging and the only way you can find out is by asking her. If she says, "No," then don't ask again and see if it piques her curiosity so that she asks about it at a later date--it may or may not happen. If she says, "Yes," then come back here together and do a lot of reading and research about swinging. Other than that, you don't "get" your wife to swing...both have to individually be interested in it.

[mrandy09 16]

She shows an interest in role play during sex often introducing other peoples names and using a vibrator to pretend a 3sum role

[sunbuckus 3,569]

The question remains: have you asked her point blank if she is interested in actually having sex with other men? Fantasizing and role-playing doesn't necessarily mean that actually want to do it.

[MrDiscover 802]

All good advice above! I also like to point to these posts for more points of view on convincing your partner to swing.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I was obsessed with my fantasy of watching another man fucking my wife. I bought a dildo that was noticeably larger than me. It was more than she was used to but after many times of trying she was finally able to relax and accept it until the point I was able to bring her to an orgasm while I was using it.

 

I would blindfold her and warm her up by using my cock in her and then I would get the dildo and hold it in front of my cock and use it on her as if another man had taken my place. She liked playing like that.

 

I coaxed her into giving it a name. Then I would ask her if she was ready for "him". Then I would use "him" on her. It was a fun game to play and in my opinion it warmed her up to the idea of trying it.

[vvcouple 26]

You should think through all of the ramifications of what you'd like to do. I've seen more than one husband freak out when he saw his wife was enjoying sex with another man; not everyone can handle it. Before broaching the subject, make sure you're really okay with it.

 

That being said, it took awhile with my wife. I knew that a woman or couple wouldn't happen, but I also enjoy MFM's (did before marriage) and loved the idea of sharing her with another man, as well. Sometimes when we'd have sex I'd stick a finger in her mouth and she'd start sucking on it passionately, so I'd say something about how I bet she'd enjoy having a threesome with another man and me. At first, she thought I was testing her, and wouldn't admit to fantasizing about it. Eventually, she realized it wasn't a test and we tried it with a friend. Although she really enjoyed it, she still felt guilty afterwards. A visit to a VIP room at a strip club a year or so later piqued her curiosity in being with a woman. From there, we tried a couple so she could play with the woman, but we also ended up swapping, too. Now, she's aroused seeing me with other women, too. If, though, we never progressed beyond MFM I would've still been happy; seeing her lose herself in the moment, seeing her excitement, greatly arouses me.

 

It's been over 10 years and the guilt thing from her upbringing (church, conservative culture, etc) still intrudes now and then. But she's come around and we've both had many wonderful experiences and our marriage is stronger than ever.

 

I should add that a previous long term girlfriend wouldn't even entertain the fantasy of including others, so just because it's something you'd like to try, many people are offended just by the thought of it, so be mindful that it's a road she may not want to go down. If she expresses an interest, be patient. It took years for my wife to become comfortable with everything and had I tried to rush it along it wouldn't have ended well.