How do I convince my wife to try a MFM threesome?

[prehberg 16]

When I met my present wife she knew full well of my passion for threesomes, mfm. Have tried many things to get her to go for it. Using a dildo on her when 69'ing always results in her having an explosive, bed wetting orgasm (she's a squirter too!) Always cums hard when we do it like that. Have tried porns, inviting a friend over who really wanted to do her. She almost went for it once but chickened out at the last minute. I know she thinks about it, by the comments she sometimes makes referring to having two guys, but can't seem to get her to make the leap. Any ideas?

[Guest]

It's got to be something she wants to do whether it's for herself or for you. Have you talked about other types of swinging, maybe MFM is not the right starting point, maybe it's a swap or something else, let her decide.

[prehberg 16]

She has said she'd do a FMF with the right woman. Think I'll give it a shot. Just gotta find a woman.

[Guest]

Lots of FF activity going on a couples clubs. We have done MFM's with guys whose wives are in another playroom with the girls. You might be able to go one and get an MFF going as part of your intro. Other couples at such places seem eager to help newbies betting started. Could be that the starting place is just the two of you having sex together in the playroom of such a place and let her (and you) get comfortable with the environment before you approach the activity. You know, baby steps.

[Tahoecple 319]

It has been my experience that the best sex is always spontaneous. Scripted sex always seems to come up short of the fantasy. You may be pushing your fantasy too hard. From what you wrote your wife is well aware of your fantasy, maybe you should talk to her about what if any fantasies she might have.

 

I think you want to sell the scenario before you put faces on the participants. You want to find out what her fears are and what it is, if anything about the scenario that turns her on. Before you bring somebody else into your bed, you need to bring her to the point she feels safe in talking openly about her sexual fantasies as well as how she feels about your fantasies.

 

It can be real touchy bringing friends into your bedroom. You might consider taking your wife to a “party house” or a “club” to check-it-out. No pressure to do anything, however, she is free to participate if she wants to. Even if nothing happens, it can be an awakening experience just to chat with other people involved in the lifestyle.

 

Good luck.

[lotsoffun201 175]

Like with us, it will progress naturally. When the time is right and she's in the mood, it will most likely happen. I wouldn't press the issue, just let it happen..... Then both of you enjoy it.

[Trophy1802 132]

Have to echo the idea of taking it slow and not pushing the issue.\

 

When we first started in the LS our focus was mainly on other straight couples. There was never a consideration of a 3sum. However, after being with a couple and my wife being very comfortable with the male of the couple, the talk of some possible MFM play did start to come up. At fist, we just brushed it off as just some sex talk among us. However, over time, it was clearly evident that we both were getting interested in giving it a try. When we finally did, we found that it really worked for us and it has become a routine part of our LS experience, especially since it has been a bit difficult to find other straight couples we can connect with in our area.

 

However, one thing that is always understood by myself and the other guy is that my wife is in control and what she wants, or does not want, during play is the way it is....no exceptions.

[prinmattus 17]

I had a female friend once tell me, she wasn't sure her husband would handle it or if he would get upset, thus making her gun shy even though he gave her assurance to do it and wanted her to. Dunno if that's her case, but an idea.

[prehberg 16]

Well I'm not a newbie at this, shared in dozens and dozens of mfm. Wife knows I'm experienced, and knows full well of my desire to share her. She's just having a difficult time with the idea that she'll be a "slut". She was when I met her, and since marrying me, she's become a lot more straight-laced. Once upon a time a few drinks, a couple of lines, and she'd fuck a guy senseless. Two hours after we first met (I didn't even know her name!) she was on her knees sucking me. So I'm slowly convincing her that doing it with two guys won't make her a slut, just a very hot woman who lives sex! It is working. She is coming around to the idea slowly. She'll give in eventually, just getting a little impatient cause I've wanted to share her for sooooo long.

[lotsoffun201 175]

Again, patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. It seems like you are trying to "set something up". Mrs fun was a lot like your wife. She was always a "good girl" when she was married but admittedly becomes a slut when she was single. A couple of drinks and splitting a dinner and she would drag her date to the car for a quickie. I was in the lifestyle for many years and told her this BEFORE our first date, giving her an out. It took time, and it was ALWAYS her idea but every MFM, or MMFM, MMMMFM encounter we had was HER idea and it was always spontaneous. Now we don't play all that often but when something like that happens, she's usually ridiculously horny and turned on.

 

She loves to flirt, and knows I like to watch her, so it's all the better when it does happen. Maybe take her dancing if she likes that. Men tend to get a little flirty on the dance floor particularly if it's very crowded. Just don't force her or suggest anything. It all adds to the excitement and makes for better play times when it does happen.

[prehberg 16]

Great idea with the dancing. Think I'll give it a shot.

[ludwig 45]

Just be patient with her and the MFM will progress naturally. When the time is right and she's in the mood for a MFM she will accept to do it and fully enjoy it. The best MFM's I have experienced have been almost spontaneous but the chemistry between us all three was right, which is the most important thing. And remember that she's the star in MFM and shall be the one who has the final say. Good luck and hope you will enjoy it!

[couplers 4,614]

Well I'm not a newbie at this, shared in dozens and dozens of mfm. Wife knows I'm experienced, and knows full well of my desire to share her. She's just having a difficult time with the idea that she'll be a "slut". She was when I met her, and since marrying me, she's become a lot more straight-laced. Once upon a time a few drinks, a couple of lines, and she'd fuck a guy senseless. Two hours after we first met (I didn't even know her name!) she was on her knees sucking me. So I'm slowly convincing her that doing it with two guys won't make her a slut, just a very hot woman who lives sex! It is working. She is coming around to the idea slowly. She'll give in eventually, just getting a little impatient cause I've wanted to share her for sooooo long.

 

 

A joke that I find totally reprehensible and insulting to women like me, but I repeat it anyway: Scientists have discovered a food that cuts a women's sex drive by 95% - wedding cake.

[MacNfries 123]

There are a ton of reasons why she may not desire a MFM, and your efforts to get her to move forward (for your interest) is probably going to be futile until you uncover her concern(s). Could be concerns over damaging her marriage, getting a disease, getting hurt, damaging her reputation, etc. And if she has shown an interest in FF, that kind of hints as to where her outside, sexual interests are. At any rate, I'd let her choose the female, and don't feel surprised if she doesn't invite you bedside. Our experiences with FFM have been that about half the time the female involved was interested in other women only. But, we've had some good experiences with 3-somes in general.

 

Possibly you could get her interested in attending a Swing Club function on their hospitality night just to meet some people face to face and talk. No sex ... just relaxed talk. If either of you meet someone you like, swap e-mail/phone info and go from there.

 

But, as I said, until you uncover her concern for MFM, I think you're only going to be frustrating yourself.

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

You have planted a seed, all you can do it wait and nurture it. Work on your communication and have both of you open up and be able to discuss...everything. Then wait and see if she chooses to warm up to the idea. Whatever you do, DO NOT TRY AND FORCE ANYTHING.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Tease her by going on dates with the third guy. No expectation of sex. Just hanging out and having a good time. Dinner, drinks, movies, vacations ... She knows you are o.k. with her having sex with another man. She might just be in the right mood sometime.

[Guest]

Hubby had to urge, encourage and partially set up our first MFM. The next 10 were all my doing; he just attended and participated. It will happen. It's kind of like getting a kid to try a new kind of candy.........

[cplnuswing 4,713]

When it comes right down to it, swinging hinges on one thing - trust. Trusting your playmate, trusting your spouse, and trusting yourself. So the best way to set the stage for successful swinging is to work on building trust in all areas.

[Guest]

Prehberg....

 

 

One tip I have is to really watch the WORDS you are using around your wife, that perhaps at times your using the wrong words.

 

For example, in your posts you have used words like.

 

 

"I have wanted to SHARE her for so long"

 

"I'd LOVE to share her"

 

However words like SHARE & LOVE can have very different meanings and reactions when trying to speak with your partner about group sex.

 

 

LOVE: Personally I try my best to never use the word LOVE about anyone or anything else other than my partner.

 

I don't love swinging, I don't love steak, I don't love pizza, I don't love a TV program, I don't love my motorbike, the only things I love are my partner and our family.

 

Try to not use the word LOVE, instead say things like:

 

I really like steak

I really enjoy riding my motorbike

I'd like to explore a threesome with you

 

Cut out the word LOVE unless its about your partner or family, the word love is reserved for them alone, not for subjects like group sex.

 

 

 

SHARE: Believe it or not, but for a lot of people "Share" is a dirty or scary word.

 

You share a pizza

You share food

You share a crate of beers

You share a taxi

 

Saying "I'd like to SHARE my wife"

 

Makes her feel / sound like an object, something you don't really care about, something you pass around a table.

 

When they hear the word "Share" connected with group sex a lot of people will instantly say things like.

 

"I do NOT want to share our love"

 

"I do NOT want to share our relationship"

 

"I do NOT want to share our lives"

 

 

The entire word "Share" suggests that your wife isn't going to be with you, or with this other man, but that she is going to be shared between you both like a sex toy, that she is going to live some kind of shared life, where one minute she is yours partner, then the next day she is someone else's partner.

 

 

The word "Share" actually has some very deep issues in society, because lets be honest there are TWO kinds of people in this world, those who CAN SHARE, and those who CAN NOT SHARE.

 

That actually some people are very afraid to share, some people spend their lives hiding away and running away from sharing, some people get anxious, upset, annoyed, offended, if you ask them to share anything.

 

 

Usually in life asking someone to share things means:

 

A) They are losing something that is theirs.

 

B) They are ending up out of pocket sharing something they have paid for.

 

C) They are at risk of the thing they share been damaged, not returned, stolen.

 

 

How many times in your life have you SHARED something with a friend, only for that person never to share anything with you?

 

You buy your friends lots of beers.... But many of those people never buy you any beers in return.

 

You share some smokes with your friends.... But many of them vanish away and refuse to share any of their smokes with you.

 

 

Some years ago now the area I lived in had a little local shop, most people in the area would use this little shop, I often used the shop to get bread, milk, and other basic essentials, also families used the shop an awful lot, that children would finish school and their parents would pass the little shop and stop to get their children some sweets.

 

One afternoon I remember walking to the shop and there was a small group of children standing outside as their parents chatted. There was a young white boy aged about 6 years old and he had a big ice cream on a cone. He was happily eating his ice cream when a young mix race girl around his age began crying and demanding an ice cream from her parents, I want an ice cream, I want an ice cream, I want an ice cream.

 

The young boy reached out his hand and gave the girl his ice cream and the girls eyes lit up and she instantly stopped crying and began eating this large ice cream. I found it really touching, that a young boy I'd offered to share his ice cream with this girl. The girl ate half the ice cream and then the young boy reached out to take the ice cream back, he was SHARING the ice cream.

 

The young girl reared away and said "NO ITS MY ICE CREAM"

 

Effectively she stole his ice cream, his act of generosity was repaid by the theft of his ice cream.

 

From a very young age some people learn that sharing can be dangerous, some people have big sharing hearts, and other people don't at all, some people are afraid of the word SHARE.

 

 

When I first started out in this lifestyle I'd say things like....

 

"I'd love to have a threesome"

"I'd love to see you fucking someone else"

"I'd love to have two girls in bed with me"

"I'd love to share our bodies"

"I'd love to share our bed with someone else"

 

Until I figured out the words LOVE & SHARE can both have very negative effects on your partner, and from that point I changed the words I use regarding this lifestyle.

 

 

Remember you don't LOVE this lifestyle, you only love your wife and family.

 

Remember you don't want to SHARE your partner, share your relationship, share your love, instead you simply want to have fun and explore this lifestyle with your partner.

[OpenMindedPair 35]

Hope it went well for the OP

 

We are finally able to look back into sexual adventure again and a MFM is really intriguing.

 

Strongly considering just going to intimate sexy bars and having pre vetted guys be at a couple of them to hang out and team seduce her.

 

Seems those plans tend to go best? Just a night on the town and an interested man already contacted to be there and approach us. See how it goes.

[Naughtyvanessa 49]

go step by step with it.. talk to her and watch porn .. go to a swinger Club or a Dance Club... talk to her and go slow