Does weight gain or weight loss affect how you are attracted to a playmate?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

It's all part of being human. Sometimes we gain weight, sometimes we lose weight...but when you see the change in a play partner, does it affect your attraction to them? Does the difference in weight matter one way or the other (losing weight is preferable to gaining or vice versa)? Does it only matter if it is a significant amount? Does it not matter as much when it is with an established playmate but matters much more when it comes to a potential playmate that you've seen around but haven't played with yet?

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Excellent question. Play is a relationship--transient often, but a relationship nonetheless. Relationships depend on what we nebulously call 'attraction', and that attraction depends on all five senses. How people carry themselves matters and weight is a part of that. It might be a significant part, or not --it depends on so many other variables. People who feel badly and become apologetic about gaining 5 pounds are going to be less attractive than a person who carries 15 extra lbs well and remains interactive and engaged.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I agree with FL. There are so many variables involved, but most of them aren't going to change with the numbers on the scale, so overall there is likely to be no reversal of attraction once it is there. Hypothetically speaking, I'm sure in an extreme enough case there would be a tipping point where that one thing does start to override the cumulative other things, but I think that's pretty unlikely to actually experience.

 

I agree 110% that the person who has five extra pounds and is brought down by it will bring you down too.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I struggle to keep fit. I know and respect how others might have struggles also. What causes me to lose respect for someone is when they give up.

[angelkin 1,326]

I think that attraction doesn't go away based solely on physical appearance. If I've played with someone, there was already an attraction based on so many other factors such as intelligence, confidence, commonalities, conversational skills, etc. that weight would no longer be much of a factor.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

This is a great question! I've gained back quite a bit of weight in the past year and am working on loosing it again. I do wonder what play partners think. We've still been active and have played with the same people I've played with when skinnier. Overall, I don't think it makes a huge difference, but I like myself better when I'm exercising and eating healthier.

[JB 140]

I have to say “no” but quite the opposite is true with us. It seems that if either of us put on just 10 pounds we both feel very unattractive and wont play with anyone until we lose it. How about that?

[lisampsas 51]

My appearance is very important to me. Regardless of what others think. I want to look and feel sexy. It's a struggle to keep my weight in control. I have to look and feel sexy on the inside to look and feel sexy on the outside.

[Napoleon 230]

5 to 10 pound weight gain, ok. 15 pound weight gain or more, turn off.

[enhancer 1,585]

It sure does!  We both took big steps in our lives to make our individual health a priority last year as far as what we eat and how much we exercise.  We are now seeing the rewards of doing this by how much our bodies and minds have changed for the positive.  Although we have always been attracted to each other I can honestly say that It has increased a lot with the extra weight loss and tightening up of our bodies.  In turn our already great sex life has got even better and more frequent.  Both of us have increased stamina, insane energy and our positive self esteem is higher then it has ever been.   
 

We are proud of each other for no longer being lazy and finding excuses to not make the correct health choices and know that the state of our health is on us and what we do to make sure it is top notch.  
 

We have come a long way, but are not going to stop putting the work in everyday that is needed to maintain and improve our health.  It is not about being better then anyone else.  It is about being the best we can be for ourselves. 
 

As far as other people we might play with yes weight loss or weight gain is going to make a difference in how attracted we are to them!  The drive and ambition it takes for people to put effort into their health is a very attractive trait to us. Not so much the other way. 

[njbm 2,871]

I gain and lose weight. I feel so much better low. For playmates, the closer to Normal, the better. But I recognize that I am not skinny, so a woman similarly hefty is fine. But if the woman is super obese, not a turn on. I imagine there are BBW fans, I am not.

[celtic239 297]

In college the weight gain was blamed on the "freshman 15" however I can't wait for the government to open up our local gym in order to shed the "Covid 19". 

[oc1234 435]

The strange thing is our longtime threesome partner went on a self-imposed extreme exercise program. He did lose more than a 100 lbs, but he also seemed to lose all interest in sex. That was very strange since we had played with him on a regular basis for many years. In addition to the threesomes, my wife also played with him alone very often. We're still friends with him, but his only interest is exercise. Before he was always interested in sex. He will still occasionally mention how much my wife always turns him on, and he does watch the videos of our threesomes and of he and my wife playing alone. He just doesn't seem interested in actually having sex.

[MrMrsswinger 204]

That's a vague question...."weight gain or weight loss". How much are we talking about? I have no research to back this up but I would gamble to say most people fluctuate 5-10 pounds either way over time. If we're talking about a 20-25 pound gain, then I can see where it would affect physical attraction. 

 

Whether everyone will admit it or not, physical attraction is where everything starts. You look at profile photos. You see people at clubs or parties. It is all physical. Once you know someone, the physical side doesn't play as big of a role. I've met many crazy hot couples who were just awful people when they started talking. I've met couples that many people wouldn't look twice at (or once at for that matter) and they were incredibly fun. 

 

In this lifestyle, what we're looking for is fun couples. A couple doesn't have to be a pair of supermodels if they're fun. Outgoing, up to have fun, engaged in the activities, etc. That's what this is all about. So a few pounds added to a couple that are enjoyable to play with....who cares.

[ShyCouple1019 17]

I am almost 50 and though people will say "she can eat whatever she wants", that is soooo not true, I do have to work at it. However, I work in a male lead technology organization, I remind my male pals that i have not had children and have the time to work out, unlike many mothers with children. (though I do have a teenage stepson that we have 70% of the time) Even my husband will say, I  am only comfortable with a non bloated belly, ben gay on my cellulite to reduce lines and dim lighting.  My point is I HATE when my girlfriends are going through a divorce and then decide to start taking care of their self, but I also wish and tell my guy friends that they don't care what they look like "-), us gals need a sense of confidence, especially when looking at hot 25 yr old pornstars (that I want to be when I grow up

 

[couplers 4,640]

On 8/7/2020 at 11:29 AM, oc1234 said:

He did lose more than a 100 lbs, but he also seemed to lose all interest in sex.

Our case is not as extreme, but I agree.  The two guys in our poly family have never been our of shape and work hard to stay that way.  We girls sometimes think that the combination of the work of doing their non-physical but somewhat stressful jobs and working out, caused their lowered sexual interest and performance as we have gone into our thirties.  (Ours has gone up.)  It is still really good, but two men is no longer enough for three women (who workout quite a bit but rely more on calorie restriction to keep in shape).

[JessicaJamison 861]

I personally like thick ladies and guys with meat on them.  Plus I'm a thick gal and honestly you don't get boobs like this being a stick boo.