Swinging - is it a bit of a power trip for you?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Before we started swinging, I was incredibly doubtful of my attractiveness to other men. I truly felt that no men really saw me in that way. So, it was a bit of a surprise and a bit of an ego boost to find out that other men did find me attractive. This started to get me thinking...does going out to swing have a bit of a "power trip" element to it, especially for ladies? A woman walks into a swingers club or house party and she garners attention like bees to honey (or is it pollen?). A woman has the "power" to arouse many of the men in attendance...so, does it equate into a bit of a power trip/rush for some of you ladies?

 

Also, this can work for men, too! I'm just not a man so I can't really speak for how seems from their shoes but I can imagine it's the same.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Empowerment is not what happened with me. Or maybe it is simply that I would use a different word. I became emboldened as my confidence grew. Once upon a day I imagined that if I approached a woman, she would be thinking, "oh, shit. I hope that guy is not coming over here to, like, talk to me." I was, consequently, paralyzed by fear of embarrasement if other people witnessed my almost-certain rebuff.

 

With repeated encouragement by my wife, I started to approach women in swing-social settings. When this succeeded once or twice, I realized that the rebuke was not a sure occurrence. As my confidence grew, women would sense this confidence. I now feel that I can approach even the tallest, shapeliest, prettiest woman in the room and even if the conversation goes no further than, "thank you, I appreciate your compliment", I feel good about myself.

 

This confidence has even helped in my profession. I now feel at-ease even in social situations with company executives and clients.

[couplers 4,656]

Oh, it was a power trip for me alright when it first started. Here I was newly married, having "caught" a wonderful husband who let me keep (i.e. keep fucking) my ex-fiance with no reciprocal demands. But I went too far. I told the story long ago in an earlier post, but I retell it here because it makes the point.

 

 

Newly married, I had had sex with only two guys, my husband and ex, and both were supremely fulfilling. Believing I was an expert and connoisseur of relationships, sex and love, when I got the hots for another young guy Sam, I told hubby I want to sleep with him. Hubby said sure, if I was sure it would make me happy. He never showed jealousy, never discouraged me, but asked questions, which I ignored. The "relationship" with Sam was a disaster. He just used me, wanted blow jobs and anal all the time, didn't care anything about me, including my sexual satisfaction (I told myself it was OK if it was just sex), and worst of all, insulted my husband to me, saying he must not love me if he let me screw around (I knew it was exactly the opposite) and hubby must not be able to satisfy me. Of course I complained to hubby about all this, and internalized it as my failure in making this extra-marital affair work. Hubby said, "Pet, if it doesn't work, it's not your fault. Stop trying so hard." He was right. I met Sam once last time for sex, made him fuck me my way then eat me out (it was the best sex I ever had with him), then never got together with him again.

 

 

I learned my lesson - hubby is wise, kind, understanding; Petra can get WAY too full of herself.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

As a male, I don't know that it's a sense of power as in a power trip, but more an ego boost and empowerment. I've gotten better with experience, but at first, when a woman expressed any interest in me, I always felt like I should be looking around over my shoulder to see who she was really directing it to, since it couldn't have been me. Once you figure out that yes, it is you, then that feels pretty good and confidence starts to build.

[intuition897 2,179]

Yeah, definitely a power trip, for both of us. When we're in "swinger mode", we're assertive, flirty and we enjoy feeling confident in ourselves. We also love knowing that our spouse is enjoying the opportunity to flex those independence muscles that tend to get a little lax and lazy if you fall into that long-term, familiar codependency that so often happens. It's refreshing - in the same way a polar bear dip is refreshing - to have to admit to yourself that, yes, your ass is due for an overhaul at the beauty salon, because not everyone is as forgiving as your hubby; he sees past all your flaws and loves you for them. Yes, those jeans do make your ass look fat. It's a reality check, and it reminds you that you are an independent person who is responsible for his or her own health, happiness, and actions. Not only do we remember this about ourselves, we see this independence in our spouse, too. And I think that's a healthy thing: to see just how capable they are, and how unnecessary you are. That sounds harsh, but it's true. You're together because you're good for one another, you add to one another's lives, and because you choose to be. Not because you have to be, and not because you're unlovable by anyone else. It keeps us on our toes, and I like that feeling.

[asncpl 729]

It was an absolutely an ego boost for me. Like any girl, there are times I feel unattractive and undesirable. The rush of having men wanting to have sex with me is empowering. At the same time, it's like a drug. On the plus side, it makes me go work out, eat well, and take care of my body. I am not sure if I would be as motivated otherwise. But it also makes me wonder how I am going to keep it up as I get older.

[Guest]

For me, personally, swinging definitely emboldened me. After my first husband passed, I was single for quite a well. I would go to bars with girlfriends but would never talk to or dance with men. "Let me buy you a drink." and I would respond, "If I couldn't afford my own f-ing drinks I wouldn't be here." Only after we had a couple of MFM's did I realize that my past behavior had been through some feelings of fear and inadequacy, and I became quite comfortable with flirting, even dancing with men that might approach me in a bar. I some times think, wish I had figured this out when I was single.

[Shorecpl4u 79]

I think for me it's more an ego boost than a power trip. As human beings we have a need to be wanted and or desired. For a lot of us swinging does just that. I truly can't think of another situation where you would get such positive personal feedback. I mean it's nice to get checked out by or flirted with by a member of the opposite sex but, I think it fails in comparison to having sex with a new partner.

[freddymike 18]

I go with new people every week in a swingers videochat and it has done wonders for my self image and self esteem. Power might be the wrong term but I had become acutely aware that in other areas of my life there was a conflict of egos. Even as a sub shemale in videochat now I know most of the time I will receive compliments about my body and get into really rewarding conversations with others while performing for them. I always come out of the room with a glow and love that I have always been unable to find in other ways in life. It is power replacement rather than an ego trip for me as compensation for other areas of my life. But yes, knowing you can make people cum because of the attractive body you work so hard to create and maintain can turn you on in itself. It is power in a good way.

[angelkin 1,326]

Before I was actually a swinger, a close female friend and I would love the power of gifting a fmf to unsuspecting vanilla men. What a power trip that was - giving this coveted act to random men - knowing that it would be an experience they would NEVER forget.

 

Later as a swinger, it was more of an ego boost knowing I was attractive to others outside my marriage...and then later an honor to be welcomed into those private, intimate moments in someone else's marriage.

[freddymike 18]

yes. it's nice having viewers and nice doing it. my last post was a few days ago I know. and I posted elsewhere since twice. but after going with a few more people just now in videochat and working on myself afterwards I can really say now I think sex has to come first before love even gets a look in, you can find it a shock when you stop getting constant rebuttals, but being newish to this lifestyle and only really doing videochat cybersex type shows so far it does definitely seem to do wonders for your self image self confidence and self esteem if you are careful not to risk getting emotionally hurt the first few times, which I managed to do by reading all the etiquette and fine print first, if that helps anyone, which I sincerely hope it does.

[freddymike 18]

I think I can genuinely say now that before I got into all this, my ego was almost completely in danger of being totally destroyed by ego maniacs to such an extreme that being able to do my stuff in adult video chat, transition to cup size A shemale, and learn that I can and do turn people on in the right environment saved my soul...................... so yes, it replaced a sense of power and control that I think we all need a bit of sometimes just to stay alive................

[FunOzCouple 40]

As a woman of 47 years I find it empowering that I can go out and sleep with a handful of younger men that are attracted to me and will do whatever they can to please me.

 

I wouldn't exactly say it's a power trip but being able to walk into a room and know that a bunch of handsome 20sumthing year old men want to tear my clothes off and pleasure me is a very empowering feeling!

[Yoursexypanties 33]

Yes it is! I love it. I'm new at this but I feel incredibly empowered sexually. I'm finding my assertive self when it comes to sex and I love it! I have a tendency toward timidness in life but having my husband watch me with another man has stripped away some inhibitions. I know that I must use my new found power for good............and sometimes evil

[OpenMindedPair 35]

Before we started swinging, I was incredibly doubtful of my attractiveness to other men. I truly felt that no men really saw me in that way. So, it was a bit of a surprise and a bit of an ego boost to find out that other men did find me attractive. This started to get me thinking...does going out to swing have a bit of a "power trip" element to it, especially for ladies? A woman walks into a swingers club or house party and she garners attention like bees to honey (or is it pollen?). A woman has the "power" to arouse many of the men in attendance...so, does it equate into a bit of a power trip/rush for some of you ladies?

 

Also, this can work for men, too! I'm just not a man so I can't really speak for how seems from their shoes but I can imagine it's the same.

 

We were at a Halloween party, and 3 black men ignored all the single, sexy costumed girls in the room to chat her up. It was sexually empowering to see her the desired woman of the whole bar like that, and she liked the attention.

 

Our sexual desires for adventure mostly revolve around a scenario like this where she is left unattended at a dance club, gets attention, periodically checks back in and is "told" to do public, discreet, seduction/flirting/grinding/quick flashing for attention.

 

After that she wants to be told to be a shared sex toy for a chosen guy and myself, maybe the guys gf or wife.

The Mrs is very submissive, wants to be ordered to act naughty and suggestive, get grinded on the dance floor, groped, drinks bought for her, then submit sexually.

 

There's power in that for her, for me, and for the man or couple we plan to share her with. Hope this makes sense. We are new to sexual sharing/swinging, but both very very sexually experienced, liberated, and open.

 

She just wants to be told to be bad then explore that to her hearts content. She loved the undivided (black, if it matters) male attention that night, so did I, and we find many scenarios highly erotic for both of us, with these themes.

 

Thats why we are here. To get good advice, learn, understand, reflect and maybe?probably? fulfill our shared power trip of sharing her.

[MatePerfect 17]

I agree, it emboldens. It also made me appreciate myself more. Apparently I'm not that much of a loser, as I thought..