Couples: Do you prefer to swing in the same room or separate rooms?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We all have our preferences when it comes to swinging. One of the big ones is "Same room or separate room" swinging.

 

We had a poll on this very topic for years, but sometimes it's nice to start fresh and see what the current generation of swingers board members think about this topic.

 

Votes are private, so share your opinion, even if you don't feel like following up with a post below.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We slightly prefer separate rooms, though we are good if the other couple prefers the same room. It's just a little easier to give your full attention to your play partner when you're in separate rooms, and there's more room to work!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We are kind of an anomaly in that we preferred separate rooms when we started out, and have evolved into being flexible with a slight lean toward same room. It seems most people do that in reverse, starting same room and some then evolve toward including separate room play in their repertoire.

 

The reason for that preference for separate at the very start was maybe some self-consciousness, but after a few same room experiences that were so-so because of play partners trying to split their attention too many ways, then we got a little stronger on that preference. It only took a few good experiences then to swing things back the other way toward same room though. Now, an extended play session is likely to be a mix of both as we all roam around the house doing as whatever our mood strikes us at the time

[twohots4u2 188]

We like same room because swinging is a together thing for us. Each of us gets a lot of pleasure seeing, and hearing, the other be sexually pleasured. She likes to have me guide hard cocks into her, and she likes to guide my hard cock into our guest.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We did start out with a hard-and-fast same-room rule. And that rule lasted for all of one play date! As exciting as it was to see and hear our spouse alongside us, I (Mr. CoupleInMD) was so distracted by all that that I had a little bit of a performance problem. Then, when the Mrs. and the other guy finished first, they were just kind of "there", a peanut gallery watching me with the other woman, sometimes commenting on our performance and sometimes talking about other topics.

 

So, we were definitely open to separate-room play after that, and enjoyed both the separate-room play itself, and the hot recaps we gave each other on the drive home- definitely got us going for "round 2" once we got back home to our bedroom!

 

I think now, with more experience under our belts, we are more relaxed and confident in our ability to play in the same room. We seem to be better able to balance the attention we pay to our spouse with the attention paid to our play partner, so that the performance issues are not there any more. Plus, I think we have each discovered a bit of an exhibitionist streak, so we like putting on a show!

 

All in all, we are now good with either same-room or separate rooms, and seem to end up playing both ways with a given couple over time. It's only if the other couple has no preference that we select separate rooms (initially at least).

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Now, an extended play session is likely to be a mix of both as we all roam around the house doing as whatever our mood strikes us at the time

 

+1. That is the ideal situation for us as well.

 

So, to answer our own poll, we are flexible. Like CoupleInMD79 mentioned, we started off as same room only, but that morphed in pretty short order. We enjoy both for their own reasons.

 

I'm also of the mind that a preference for one of the other doesn't necessarily mean anything more than a couple's particular preference.

[couplers 4,718]

In our poly group we are flexible and just grab the opportunity, so to speak, whenever it arises. Living together and being flexible is a great advantage for us, since I believe it creates more opportunities (especially for us girls, all bi) than for a couple, even a swinging one. The five of us do, however, try to get together at least once a week where we all get naked and see what happens.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

When we first started, we were pretty sure we wanted our first swap to be same room. After the first swap, we were open to separate; however, I was getting more opportunities than Mr. Sun to play so to alleviate his discomfort we switched to same room. Currently, as long as we are both swapping with a couple, we are comfortable with same or separate.

[asncpl 730]

We get different pleasures out of same room or separate. Like other posters said, same room really provides a voyeur or exhibitionist perspective in seeing your spouse being pleasured, and for us especially, we like to all play together when in the same room. It's like sensory overload but in a good way. Separate room gives me the opportunity to really explore with the other partner and also adds to the intimacy of it. But in the end, I think the preference has a lot to do with the chemistry with the other couple.

[Guycurious 39]

I (husband) would like to try separate rooms but I'm not sure the wife would be comfortable with that. I am still a bit reserved with the amount of attention I pay to the other female, always worried my wife will become uncomfortable.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I am still a bit reserved with the amount of attention I pay to the other female, always worried my wife will become uncomfortable.

Are you two doing full swap or soft swap in your same-room play? If it's full swap, then it might be useful to ask if your wife or her play partner (the other guy) feel that they need to be reserved with the amount of attention they pay to each other. If not, then perhaps you are anticipating a concern on your wife's part that is not really there. But if she is also reserved in her full-swap interactions with the other guy, then maybe you both are feeling (or anticipating) the same concern from each other. Sounds like a no-holds-barred conversation between you two on this question might shed some light on things for both of you. Certainly for couples that have a sufficient level of trust and comfort with each other, they feel free to "go all out" and have a full helping of fun with their play partner, without concern that their significant other will become jealous at the thought of them have a really good time. And if they do find that a play partner is able to "scratch their itch" in a particularly satisfying way, they make sure the play partner tells their significant other exactly how to do it!

[purple4215 55]

We have only done same room swap, however, we are only swapping with one couple and are going to try our first separate room swap in a few weeks. I am excited to try it. I will keep you all posted. Anything we should know before hand?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Anything we should know before hand?

Feel free to have an excellently good time with your play partner! You should be able to concentrate a little better on enjoying the experience with the person in the room with you, without being (pleasantly) distracted by the action of your mate and their play partner. And be sure to remember all the details of your play experience- you'll want to "debrief" later on, and if you're anything like us, that just might get round 2 going afterwards!

[JenniferAndI 20]

I actually prefer to be separate. Simply because I like to "Love the one you're with"! It's easier to concentrate and just be in the moment when I'm alone with my partner. But...Hubby prefers to watch me with another partner. So, I sometimes compromise.

[cruisingcouple 31]

We have done both, separate rooms - even the whole night with another partner, to all four of us. Each has it's ups and downs - or in's and out's I guess. If both couple are bi, one can get pretty creative with 4 bi people and no clothes on.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

If both couple are bi, one can get pretty creative with 4 bi people and no clothes on.

Excellent point!

[Formybubu 56]

Yes.

[bernett69 36]

always the same room. the larger the group the better.

[loosegravel 20]

Initially, we had set a rule that it would be same-room sex only....my wife is usually the stickler for rules.

 

I can recall one specific house party we were attending on the outskirts of Houston about 9 years ago....there were about 30 people so it was a fairly large party in a very large house.

 

As per custom, my wife and I dont have to hang together and we did know some of those in attendance, so it's not unusual to find ourselves separated.

 

All of a sudden I realized I couldnt locate my wife...I was walking around the house, peeking into different bedrooms where there would be several couples fucking....all of a sudden I walked up to an open door and there was my wife taking 2 dudes at one time....at first I was not too pleased, but I definitely wasnt gonna make a scene. I watched for maybe 30 seconds and got really turned on...watching....

 

So after the party & on our drive back home, I briefly mentioned the incident to my wife who was apologetic....I told her it was all okay.....I saw her and I knew she was really enjoying herself.

 

Now it's basically play it by ear.....

[purple4215 55]

We had our weekend that we've set up awhile ago and we did both same room and separate room play...both does have its pros and cons. I enjoyed the attention of the separate room but my spouse by far has better moves and w/o him I seemed to fall a bit behind in the pleasure department. When it's a true foursome he can assist if needed...but was enjoyable and I'm still up for both. Whatever the mood is I guess!!!

[oc1234 435]

If we play with another couple, which we haven't done in a long while, we prefer separate rooms since it allows each of us us to really explore our playmates with fewer distractions. We have been that way from our very first time.

[intuition897 2,179]

We actually prefer separate rooms. We've done same-room and it's okay, but it's just sensory overload. I like being able to focus on one thing at a time. We aren't insecure at all about the idea of developing "feelings" for people, so we don't feel the need to hover or chaperon one another. In fact, we find it kind of kinky to wonder what's going on in the next room. For us, it doesn't take away from the togetherness of swinging; we're still doing this very much together. When we get together after playing with friends, it's especially intimate. And erotic.

 

But we both appreciate and enjoy offering one another the opportunity to express ourselves as stand-alone individuals, just as we did when we were single. It reminds us that we're together by choice, not by obligation, and that we are each unnecessary to one another's sexuality. That might seem like a negative thing, but I really enjoy it. I love that Mr. intuition doesn't need me, but he wants me in his life. I love that I should have to work for his attention, that I need to earn a place in his life. He's worth that. So I don't mind being reminded to stay on my toes. It's healthy. And it's good for him to remember it of me, too. It's not a threat, it's just the truth of things.

[njbm 2,901]

We started out same room and we've evolved to separate and nearby rooms in which you can hear the other couple's noises. The sounds are a turn on and if one of the players takes a long time to reach climax, we don't want to put pressure on anyone.

 

It's working for us!

[Shore2Please 613]

We started as separate rooms and to me it is better. My first time with another man I didn't have to worry about what either my husband or the other wife was thinking. We had never discussed swinging or swapping before we just did it. I made love to a man we only met when on vacation and it was like the first time with any man. He romanced me and we did everything we wanted without worrying about a jealous spouse. I didn't think about what my husband was doing. When we did things in the same room the experience was so different. More of Showtime. We also did 2 parties and we had fun but the sex wasn't as good as being alone.