Finding couples with similar rules

[GoodTimes1983 17]

We are new to the forums and what started out as trying to find a female for my wife to play with has now possibly turned into a FMF threesome with possible soft swinging for another male and my wife. My wife really wants to watch me fuck another girl so we have been talking about the rules if this were to happen. They are rather specific so bare with me.

 

For me:

No kissing

Only fucking

 

For her (with a guy):

Making out ok

Getting eaten out ok

Fingering ok

Groping ok

No fucking

No head

 

For her (with a girl):

Anything

 

I am 32 and my wife is 28. My wife and I have very specific age ranges for who we want to play with, so are there places to go to find a higher concentration of people in our age bracket?

[kikonkrome 844]

First Welcome to the board.

 

Second realistically, I think you guys would do ok soft swinging. I am not really sure if there are any women out there willing to fuck you but not kiss you, but hey you might beat the odds? Our rules weren't that far from what you describe initially, except I was more of an anything goes personality (I really like to kiss). We did a few soft swaps and then expanded it from there.

 

I think you will find partners the way everybody else does online/clubs/meet and greets. We have had luck only at clubs, we don't really have the patience for the other methods.

 

Good luck

 

As far as age factor, I think it's more of a personality thing than a strict rule. We certainly find certain people more sexy than others, but I don't really think age is a factor.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Everyone is entitled to have their rules exactly the way they are comfortable with, and somewhere out there will be other swingers that have the exact same rules. But, the trick is finding them. The narrower you make your rules, the more difficult you make something that is already difficult to begin with, i.e. finding people that you have good sexual chemistry with. Rules and boundaries are indeed important, especially when starting out, but overdo it and you can rule yourself right out of swinging when the negatives associated with the frustration level of not finding playmates overcomes the positives associated with the comfort level. I'm not trying to dissuade you from having whatever rules you like, but the reality is, it's going to be tough finding anyone. Not impossible, but tough.

 

On the age range thing, if you use a online personals site like SLS or the others, then age range is something you can use to narrow your search when looking for others you might want to contact. If you go just the club route, then you'll find that different clubs attract a different clientèle, and even the same club may have a different type crowd on Thursday night compared to Saturday night. Unless you live somewhere where you are fortunate enough to have a good selection of clubs all nearby, then finding a club crowd that is a good fit for you is going to take some effort.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Step 1: Advertise. Find an online site and set up a profile. List exactly what you are looking for and what your rules and boundaries are.

 

Step 2: Search for others on the same site(s) for people who are close to fitting your wants and contact them (Hey, you didn't think that they would come looking for you).

 

Step 3: Arrange a meeting to see if things should or could continue from there (mutual interest and attraction)

 

Step 4: Repeat...it's going to take some effort on your part and most likely take awhile to get everything to work the way you want, but if you can find that person or couple, it can really be amazing.

 

Wish there was a short cut or an easier way...but anything good is usually not easy.

[TricianMike 788]

Just wondering...who made these rules? You or her?

[GoodTimes1983 17]

Just wondering...who made these rules? You or her?

 

All her. I know it seems biased, but I swear it's her.

[purple4215 55]

I think both of you should make the rules. Both of you are allowed to ask for what you want and both of you are allowed to not feel ok about things. I think the "NO" has to win. If one wants something and one doesn't the "NO" is the deciding point. You can always review after time goes one. Being able to communicate is a MUST.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We started with a ton of rules that slowly were removed...but we needed them when we started. Now there are only a couple of rules remaining but one is never moving faster than the slowest person is comfortable with and one no means no for everyone with no repercussions or pressure to change their mind.

[Sophy 571]

Those are the rules that we started with that in some point we have skipped, we still apply those rules but now we are more "flexible" with the appropriate people/situation

 

1. Same room

2. Condoms only

3. Anal Sex

[Guest]

We all start with some set of rules. But, after the first 3 or 4 times, you will probably adjust those rules to something more practical, perhaps something more equal. Its hard to make up the rules if you really haven't played the game yet.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

In my opinion the more rules you have the less of a positive experience you will have. It will be hard to find someone who shares your same rules without some kind of a compromise.

[Shore2Please 613]

I can't say we had any rules on our first time or anytime. Our first was unplanned and just done. I remember him saying have fun when we split for the night.

Some say no kissing is a rule. For me kissing was very important. It started be making this romantic and not dirty. My husband said he kissed a little. I kissed a lot.

Same room? No we were in different rooms.

Fucking? YES and maybe stupidly not condoms. None of us had. My husband said he didn't cum in her. Well that wasn't what happened in my room

Oral. Yes yes yes.

Anal? Never got to that.

I think you should do what you both are happy with. But as my husband said, Enjoy

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Update?