BeStylnIT 114 Posted April 30, 2015 When I'm emailing a couple for the first time I try to avoid sounding like a heavy breathing creeper. Maybe I'm going too far with my emails and sounding too bland. I've been avoiding the subject because I'm sure couples get mail all the time about the wife's looks. Still though, sex is what it's about and is it possible that not complimenting the wife it could give a bad impression? While things are starting out I don't go on and on about the things I want to do. Should I? Of course there are thoughts going on in my head but do women care to hear that from a stranger? At one point can the conversation get turned up a little? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
cplnuswing 4,713 Posted April 30, 2015 I think your approach is a sound one. We don't like it when people who come on strong right out of the gate. A nice compliment isn't going to be a strike against someone, but if it is too strong and/or pervy too early, then it will be a negative. Why? Yes, it's about sex, but the person on the other side of the screen doesn't even have a clue about us yet, so coming on that strong that early suggests to us they really don't care that much about having a clue about us. To put it bluntly, she's got a pussy, and that's all that matters to them. Sorry, it takes more than that for us to feel a connection. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
MrDiscover 802 Posted May 1, 2015 We seem to have this issue in real life too. We are seeing this lovely couple about six months now, two times we had a swing date but we see each other every few weeks for drinks and laughs. But in these vanilla settings everyone seems to avoid the elephant in the room: sex. We hardly talk about it and when we do it is mostly about logistics around the date itself etc. like picking a date and hotel etc. When discussing if we were all up for a second date, I assured I was and I told the other wife was looking forward to enjoying the beautiful body of her again. Everyone blushed and was quick in bringing the talk back out of this corner with small talk. It seems it still feels a bit strange to be so open about sex to relative strangers, even if the goal (or history in my case) involves sex. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
M1F2KTJ 473 Posted May 1, 2015 Everyone knows the whole point is about hooking up for sex. Be friendly and polite and try to get to know each other in a non sexual way. If they feel comfortable with you they may initiate some sex talk. Quote Share this post Link to post
BeStylnIT 114 Posted May 1, 2015 Awesome feedback, thanks. I didn't see any of you mention a problem with things getting too boring and losing interest. That was what I was concerned about from not being flirty enough. So lesson is, keeping it classy and using the good manners momma taught us won't work against a person. Cool Thanks again, this is the best place for advice. I wish I could join an orgy with all yaz Quote Share this post Link to post
MrDiscover 802 Posted May 1, 2015 Well, a bit of a concern here is, that the more vanilla it gets, the more the 'edge' wears off, or so it seems at the moment. It's harder to switch from small talk about kids an the like instead of flirting, to sex. (keep in mind we are VERY new at this so maybe it's just coincidence). Maybe that also goes for the very first steps. Quote Share this post Link to post
PandO 103 Posted May 24, 2015 I agree with most of the other posters. We are still looking for our very first hookup, so we don't have a lot of experience to go on. But we recently found a couple I was sure was going to be our first. They have so much in common with us. They would understand our struggle to find babysitters for a large number of kids, ability to only meet up maybe once in a while to potentially once a montb at most. They were attractive while still having all the body flaws that happen with age and multiple children... I, the female, even initiated the sexual natured compliments by telling them the wife had absolutely AMAZING breasts. But it went from that to him quickly talking about how horny our pictures made him and then from there just got really raunchy. I found it REALLY offputting, especially bc we had already expressed that we wanted to start off very soft and allow ourselves to explore our limits and all in as low pressure, low expectation setting as possible. Even maybe just meeting up for drinks and flirting the first time. I think saying too much at once about all your fantasies can also potentially scare them away, if like us, they have less experience and then begin feeling like you might expect them to meet all your fantasies. I think it's probably best to keep it flirty without too many specifics. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
SW_PA_Couple 4,024 Posted May 24, 2015 . . . I think it's probably best to keep it flirty without too many specifics. I agree. For things to become too passionate too quickly with people whom you do not know well can lead to events that everybody would regret. In addition, crude behavior is not a form of flirtation. It's simply crude behavior. Take your time. If this couple are not right for you, there will be another who will be. Quote Share this post Link to post
PandO 103 Posted May 24, 2015 Take your time. If this couple are not right for you, there will be another who will be. Yeah, this couple definitely ended up not being right for us. I'm still a little disappointed bc I feel like we are back at ground zero again with no prospects. But there were just too many concerns. He already felt like he was getting attached after just a few days. Wanting to talk to me about "things he couldn't talk to his wife about." Idk we're still new to all this, but that seemed like a huge red flag to me. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I have a husband I love like mad and we have a bunch of happy kids and a home together... Plus, we never really could get any confirmation out of his wife that she was an excited or willing participant. We did confirm they are who they say and married and all, but we got to a point where we were interested in skyping and saying hi to her and suddenly they just didn't have time. It started feeling like maybe he was using his wife's pics and all without her knowledge. It was only ever him we actually got to talk to. She was always busy or something but of course very excited.... blah. I can see this is going to be so tough, trying to find our first few hookups, and then I have the BBW thing to deal with. It doesn't seem to be the desired body type in this world. We'll see what happens. We're excited and motivated though. Anyways, sorry to hijack the thread. Quote Share this post Link to post
purple4215 55 Posted May 24, 2015 PandO your needs are very similar to ours. We soft swap with one specific couple for now. It is incredibly exciting very flirty and fun. Also sexually satisfying despite not going to full swap. We meet every few months and text sexy flirty texts to keep spark going until the next visit works out. Hang in there it's been worth the time and effort for us. Quote Share this post Link to post
PandO 103 Posted May 24, 2015 Thanks so much for the encouragement. That's pretty much exactly what we're looking for right now. Quote Share this post Link to post
purple4215 55 Posted May 24, 2015 PM me if you have any questions or want to talk! We are new to this as well! Quote Share this post Link to post
