How to keep it discreet

[Ravenrsr 15]

Hey! New here and diving in with my first question.

 

My wife and I are both professionals. We are in a small town in a small country! So there is a risk that we'd be spotted if we go into any known swing venues. I am also worried about bumping into a professional colleague when we are "playing" or any profile pics getting recognized.

 

We are far from starting but this is keeping me from even bringing it up. I guess I could try and limit it to trips abroad/holidays? Thanks for any tips/advice!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Seeing that you are new, Ravenrsr, I'll offer you a warm welcome. I will also offer a thought. If your activities are a source of worry and stress, they cannot be fun. Consider whether the risk justifies the benefit.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We live in a small town too, and there are some easy things to do to reduce the risk down to almost nothing. Don't post public face pics. Even on your private pictures make the clear face pics ones that aren't too naughty and could have come from your Facebook, etc. As you mention, don't go looking for playmates in your own backyard. We have a "two towns over rule", meaning we don't swing in our town, or the next town, but will in the next one after that. It's not happened to us yet, but seeing someone you know at a club would be kinda awkward, but they are there too, so how would they out you without outing themselves also?

 

Discretion is a very important subject to swingers, and people know how to keep our little secret a secret. Just use a common sense approach and it will be fine, and in time, will turn into something you are aware of but don't constantly worry about anymore.

[TricianMike 788]

We live in a highly populated area, but when we first started we traveled a few hours to another state. We just felt that no one would know us and we can be as free as we wanted to be. It may be worth an over night trip to make you less nervous.

[MrDiscover 802]

But: if everyone has this rule of traveling and not swinging in their own town, you still have a small chance to meet them. Only far from home.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

But: if everyone has this rule of traveling and not swinging in their own town, you still have a small chance to meet them. Only far from home.

 

This is true. I remember reading from one of the other members here where they only swing away from their town but they still ended up meeting people from their town at swinger clubs.

 

Listen to SW_PA_Couple and cplnuswing, they are wise in their advice.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Anyone who you may meet in a swinging venue is hoping that they don't run into you as well. They are there for the same reason as you. Easiest thing to do is limit your interactions with weekend trips to larger population bases and just have this as one thing you do that weekend.

[Guest JandJonell]

One thought we discussed was we don't poop where we eat. We don't hit local clubs in our area. If nothing else the drive builds up anticipation and excitement. We tend to drive at least an hour away. We don't really worry about running into someone we know because they wouldn't want anyone else to know their private business. I think you will be fine. Happy hunting...

[TwoFunTexans 103]

I'm less concerned about seeing someone at a party or club than I am someone getting a free sls account just to be nosy. In my area, I found online that there used to be a club but it went under because some radical religious group targeted it and would bring cameras and get in people's face as they entered and left. They also checked online accounts and would try to find out who they were and shame them. That was over 5 years ago but still, kind of freaky.

[MrDiscover 802]

That's nasty...

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

One thought we discussed was we don't poop where we eat.

 

Reminded me of the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall where Darald says 'Let me just say that if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system.'...and yet that is exactly what was done.