Swing partner slipping off condom and playing bareback without your consent?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

A recent reply to a thread had me wondering...ladies, have you experienced a situation where a swing partner put a condom on but you suspect/saw that he slipped it off while you weren't looking and ended up playing bareback with you? Did you confront him about it? Ask? Only suspect it but didn't play with him again?

[3622maw 39]

It happened to my wife, they kept playing after I fell asleep. I woke up later and they had just finished he told her he only brought two condoms and she let him go bareback

[living_free 44]

Hopefully you all had a good ending and it turned out to be a routine...

[libertymoon 25]

We've played with a couple once and I suspected the husband slipped off the condom. They complained about using condoms (claimed that the wife would have a reaction even with non-latex ones) and would give us a lot of reasons why it makes sense to play bareback. I had to remind the husband to put one on and later during playing, I wanted to double check so I reached down and didn't feel one. We haven't played with them since. It's really a shame...they were a nice couple other than the condom issue.

 

Oh, and early in our swinging journey, we played with a semi-single guy at a party and even though we told him that we play with protection, we had a slight suspicion of him pretending to put one on or slipping it off.

[asncpl 729]

I think there are two categories of people like that. The first category is those who intentionally try to slip the condom off. I suspected one playmate because he liked to ask to put it inside me for a few strokes without condom, and after I made him put on one, it always managed to slip off. After three times, it's just not a coincidence anymore and I stopped playing with him, but i never confronted him about it.

 

The second category is those who don't say anything after knowing the condom accidentally slips off. I know condoms tend to accidentally come off and get stuck inside me during doggy position and most guys would say something and put on a new one. I remember one time playing with another couple and I and the other guy were changing from doggy position to missionary position and I had a glimpse that it looked like the condom wasn't on him anymore. I couldn't see clearly but he must have known because he looked down when he put it back inside me. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure but I suspected he knew.

[living_free 44]

As a man who loves MFM...I make sure the condom is on and working. If she wants me to cum in her she has to tell me...normally I would cum during oral so I can last longer during intercourse. No condom has to be agreed upon before the act. If so then let the juices flow!

[Brad145 58]

This is one of those topics that gets under my skin, and I keep a pretty close eye on guys that play with my wife, knowing that once she gets warmed up she won't say no to anything.

 

If I found out a guy tricked her into playing bareback, I'd be leaving the party in handcuffs.

[Tia Vampire 167]

I have trust issues, so I'm always checking to make sure the guy has the condom on. If a guy tried to play me for a fool, I would confront him at the time of the issue and would never play with him again.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

living_free said:

As a man who loves MFM...I make sure the condom is on and working.

We had it happen one time where it slipped off and they didn't realize it right away. She wasn't too worried about it, it's bound to be something you run into sooner or later. Even after her telling him it was ok and she wasn't mad at all, he was still upset with himself since he felt it was his responsibility to make sure everything was going as it was supposed to in that regard. I haven't had it happen to me personally, but I would feel the same way, so I can totally relate.

[intuition897 2,179]

We ended up having a major miscommunication during our first full swap encounter. Everyone was on the same bed, and I was sitting on top of the other guy, but no penetration. Mr intuition and the other woman assumed we had just gone ahead and were playing bareback, so - thinking the damage was done already - went ahead and started playing without a condom. I look over and there they are screwing away with no condom. So...the other guy and I - thinking the damage was done already - followed suit. Now luckily this was everyone's first time, and we were both monogamous couples before this. But when I told Mr. intuition about the misunderstanding, his eyes popped out of his head. "I thought YOU were going bareback, so I just did the same!" he said. Needless to say, we make sure to discuss this stuff ahead of time.

 

One other incident with a couple: they weren't fans of condoms. He used one, but you could tell he wasn't very enthusiastic about it. She and Mr. intuition were in the other room. Apparently she just jumped right on top of him without hesitation - and without a condom. Mr. intuition lifted her off of himself and told her in no uncertain terms that if we were going to do that, that everyone needed to discuss it first. He said it was a little awkward after that, but there really wasn't any alternative but to be blunt about it; it's too important.

 

Frankly, I am really disturbed that men will actually try to trick a woman and get away with not wearing a condom. I mean really, what the fuck?? I have no idea where that thing has been (and after behaviour like that, I'm even more freaked out about it), and for that matter, you have no idea how honest I'VE been about my STD status. Or my birth control methods! Wrap it up and quit bitching about it! Holy shit. I think if I ever experience something like that, I'd be pissed enough that I'd consider calling the cops and charging the prick with assault. Okay, probably not that far, but the asshole wouldn't get away without me putting the fear of God into him. I'd probably bring up that he should be on the lookout for an oozing rash and genital warts... LOL Congratulations. It's a lie, but I'd just want to see the blood drain from his face, and know that he lost some sleep worrying about his dick falling off. Oh, and it should go without saying that playtime would end completely and forever.

[kikonkrome 844]

Frankly, I am really disturbed that men will actually try to trick a woman and get away with not wearing a condom. I mean really, what the fuck?? I have no idea where that thing has been (and after behaviour like that, I'm even more freaked out about it), and for that matter, you have no idea how honest I'VE been about my STD status. Or my birth control methods! Wrap it up and quit bitching about it! Holy shit. I think if I ever experience something like that, I'd be pissed enough that I'd consider calling the cops and charging the prick with assault. Okay, probably not that far, but the asshole wouldn't get away without me putting the fear of God into him. I'd probably bring up that he should be on the lookout for an oozing rash and genital warts... LOL Congratulations. It's a lie, but I'd just want to see the blood drain from his face, and know that he lost some sleep worrying about his dick falling off. Oh, and it should go without saying that playtime would end completely and forever.

 

 

Thanks for posting this...must admit that's what I thought...what an asshole!! One more thing for everybody to look out for so thanks Sunbuckus!!

[LagniappeDC 313]

We've had guys try to either just jump in without a condom, or try to rub against her vagina without a condom. Each and every time my wife makes it abundantly clear that condoms are required or we walk. Luckily, we've never had someone try to remove during play, but I can say that if either of us knew, we wouldn't stand for it. As a man speaking, I hope no woman feels the need to "go along" with it. Simply unacceptable.

[Lindapeter 23]

It not always removing the condom it's also damaged so it splits

[Sophy 569]

Once during foreplay I got accidentally penetrated by a play--partner before he had the opportunity to put the condom on, we both jump back like cats, my hubby and the other girl were like: "what's wrong with you guys?" It was hilarious Than anything

[Eddiem 139]

It can happen. Our first MFM with a friend just kind of happened. He teased her (my wife) with his cock until she could not take it any more, thrusted forward, and she took his whole cock. As he pumped and was about to blow his wad, he pulled out, she grabs his cock and thrusts it back in to her as he looks at me and cums in her. Another time some guy tried but no go.

[Emt 91]

This thread is really helpful to us. Let's me know how vigilant we need to be about making sure the condom is in place. I'm curious how ya'll work in the emphasis on NOT removing the condom in pre-play dialogue?

 

Thanks!

[Eddiem 139]

Just lay the ground rules down and make sure everyone is on board. Sometimes in the heat of the moment things start without but make sure the ground rules are enforced. Trust me.. at least it was my trusted old friend but I had visuals at the time in dreams and day thoughts of his cock spreading his seed in my wife. I did not think of STDs but of the visual of his little swimmers.

[Guest]

Never had that happen. While I prefer it bare, I think I wouldn't like a guy trying to be sneaky. That's a character flaw. 

 

I have had them come off lovers and even break. I just keep going and they usually cum right away anyway. I also have a habit of pulling a man into me when he cums and holding his ass. I like the feeling of their cocks getting soft in me and I massage them with my pussy as they have their last spasms. If they are big cummers, their cum leaks out anyway when they go soft.

 

 

[Anon321 522]

Happened to my GF twice.  Once with a guy she had just met to then fucking in a public bathroom.  Apparently he wasn't able to cum fast enough so he slipped it off.  Another time was with a guy she met at a strip club and had sex with in a limo who told her he put on a condom but just never did.  If you follow the pattern you'll notice that they were strangers and there was a lot of alcohol involved.

[Billygoat 443]

Accidents happen.  We have all had them.  From time to time misunderstandings, sure.
 

Although this does happen from time to time the vast majority including singles and one time players will communicate and accept each other’s play requirements or not play.  There are a very few that will try to rationalize or talk over, try to convince.... coax into “allowing them”.  This is your red flag.  Just step away, move on.  Just because you are attending a swing event doesn’t mean you must....anything.  If the party/event requires participation at any level....again, red flag....leave.

 

This is not just a single playmate issue.  Our experience, collectively, has been males, who are part of a couple tend to push the limits more.  And are most often “spoken to” by the hosts or sub hosts at any event.  Also, issues come from more newbie, less experienced, high expectation and “bed hopper” participants.  Regardless of single (although many single males think it more a brothel, guaranteed sex for them), couples, male or female. 
 

communication is absolutely everything.  Clear, detailed and specific.  Most issues of any type is through lack of or limited communication.  Remember your Hosts have a duty to respond to issues.  Just be clear that your concern is in fact a concern, not an assumption.  We have spoken warnings to both men, women and couples at our events in the past as well as escorted those out for major infractions or not heeding our warnings.  At that point you never come back.  And we had a notification line to others that hosted to provide a heads up, but never public.

 

most concerns have always been lack of communication, misunderstanding, ignorance of the event (theme related-orgy, group, ladies only, gang bang etc) or just a simple mistake.  In many cases alcohol is certainly involved.

We have always suggested that the laddies apply the condoms on the men they have chosen.  It’s provocative, keeps the woman in control, proper application and for a first time play partner choose to avoid positions that limit or remove your ability to observe.  Keep positions that leave you in control and allow you to observe your playmates actions.

 

Be safe, be you, enjoy.
 

 

[MarniJohn 172]

I have had this happen more than once (with different men).  I am very vocal about not playing without a condom but some men think it's their decision and not mine.   It is disrespectful at the very least.   I called them both out as soon as I discovered what was happening.  I will not play with anyone who acts like that.  

[EastInWest 1,524]

On 5/7/2020 at 6:13 PM, Anon321 said:

Apparently he wasn't able to cum fast enough so he slipped it off.

I'm not trying to stir the pot here, but I've never been having a hard time cumming and thought to myself "oh no, I'm going to have to screw too hard for too long".

Let's be real. We're guys. We take the condom off because we want it off.

[Anon321 522]

On 5/14/2020 at 9:37 AM, EastInWest said:

I'm not trying to stir the pot here, but I've never been having a hard time cumming and thought to myself "oh no, I'm going to have to screw too hard for too long".

Let's be real. We're guys. We take the condom off because we want it off.

Not stirring the pot at all I agree with you.

[njbm 2,871]

I don’t want to have sex with other swingers unless I wear a condom. For my protection and my wife’s. I perform better without it, but I take vitamin V to help. 

[barefoot_so_goo 46]

As a single guy who earned a standing invitation to parties, this isn't something you can fool around with. I've never been with a group that demands all condoms all the time--my favorite group's new member orientation gives the condom talk, but also, "We're not the condom police." Condoms or bareback is up to the participants.

 

I don't think anybody actively likes condoms, but they're a fact of life. I certainly don't like them, but I'd never try and pull one of these stunts. It's obviously a bad thing to do, and I understand what a privilege I have by following the rules. I have had them come off, but there's always another one from the bowl.

 

Also, as I got to know people and got a track record, I found condoms becoming more and more optional, if I wanted. It's been a matter of knowing who people are, how responsible they are, and maintaining a reputation with them and the hosts. If that's in good shape, trusted partners have no issue going bareback with me. As I've formed relationships and been invited to more private groups, while not exactly an expectation, bareback is more than permitted. I love the flow of those weekends. :)

[njbm 2,871]

The last person posting sounds respectful and reliable. 

We are 100% condom compliant. We have met many nice, careful, condom wearing swingers who we later learned had HPV or HSV. Condoms reduce transmission of those things, but they are far from reliable. Also, men cannot be tested for HPV. 

 

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but for those who do know how common these things are, they should know. Some people just accept it and don’t think it’s a big deal. 
 

My wife has been clear about condoms for intercourse, but a couple of men have been very aggressive about probing her vag area with their wiener before putting on a condom. It wasn’t appreciated. 

[Idahocouple6969 294]

We require condoms. Period. If you don't/won't/can't wear one then it's a no go. I am having sex with YOU not everyone that you have had sex with. There are plenty of people to play with that don't have a problem with condoms. We have been told that you can get "cured" from MOST std's weeeelll  that isn't enough for us. We really like having sex with multiple people. Swinging comes with risks, of course, we just don't want to add to them. The only person I have had unprotected sex with over the last 37 years is Mrs Idaho. Yes I know you can get STD from just soft swap. But you have to draw your own line in the sand somewhere. I personally love the one about them not fitting. Either you have a dick like a beer can (which the Mrs has said get that thing away from me!) To needle dick the bug fucker. Find a brand that fits. And if it does come off ST0P. If you can't control yourself enough to abide by everyones rules/boundaries then you have no business swinging. 

 

[barefoot_so_goo 46]

I should acknowledge I also appreciate the risks. Talked with a lot of people, read a lot--including psychology and business-type books about risk and how people are generally bad evaluating it, paid mucho attention to what doctors told me if I promised never to repeat it, and made what I hope are generally thoughtful choices. When hormones are pounding it's hard, but I've held the line with only minor slips (and minor because the other party said they were and kept going). I'm not swinging now (natch, with the current situation) so it's a bit moot, but if I start again I don't plan to change my approach.

 

Maybe I've just been lucky, or stupid, or stupid lucky, but I haven't caught anything EXCEPT for HSV1, which I got from my current monogamous girlfriend! Her only other partner had been her ex. (Not long after we met, I had something that felt like bad flu with terrible sore throat for a couple days. When I next got tested my HSV1 had changed, so I knew that was it--I hadn't been with anyone else for many months. All that time and all those other partners and I don't get HSV1 until I stop swinging....) I was also in LTRs with several women with HSV2, and never got it.

 

Just goes to show.

[kinkycplm 74]

We get tested regularly and have played without with others but only after a few months of thrusting. We broke up for half a year and she got chlamediya, so be careful!

[Eddiem 139]

Yeah this happened to us but the other guy was a friend of ours and going through a divorce. As we were playing he put his condom on and was  fucking my wife. As I enjoyed her breasts I could see him reach down, adjusting his condom and only to see him struggling with it. As he thrusted and she pushed in toward him he blurted how he was about to cum inside her... she said yes yes.. and he did. As he pulled out and I prepared to finish her off his cum was pouring out of her. I was so excited I finished the roller coaster of emotions and then later thought about what just happened.. very bizzare. 

[MrMrsswinger 204]

I'm no spring chicken so I've been around a little. I find it amazing how often condoms "break" or "slip off" in this lifestyle vs in the non-lifestyle world. It seems condoms somehow suddenly stop functioning properly when the sex is in a swinger environment.

 

While I've seen this happen, we haven't experienced condoms mysteriously acting up with the Mrs. We're very clear up front that condoms are a requirement. I'm very aware as to what is happening when we're involved with others. I tend to be more interested in watching than playing, not that I mind playing, so I pay close attention to what is going on. It wouldn't be a good situation if I observed a guy manipulating his condom. 

 

[barefoot_so_goo 46]

On 7/12/2020 at 8:42 PM, kinkycplm said:

We get tested regularly and have played without with others but only after a few months of thrusting. We broke up for half a year and she got chlamediya, so be careful!

This is something that stopped me a couple times I had opportunities to sneak in some extracurricular activity. Not worth taking something back to her.