Guys Getting All Gropey...Sigh

[kikonkrome 844]

So we went to an all bi club, which we thought would be a bit intense. The ratio of men to women was easily two to one. All the normal rules seem to apply, however. Don't touch unless invited, no means no, etc. We were reminded of this.

 

We wound up playing pretty early with one of the few single women there in a semi private area (there weren't any fully private rooms). Right at the beginning of this, some guy grabs my wife's ass as she was distracted. This wasn't the first time, that's happened. So she stopped, I stopped, the girl we were with stopped and we basically told the guy to go pound sand, or use the bed 'over there'.

 

So we had a great sweaty FFM, really early in the evening. After that all three of us wanted to hang out, mingle, dance, see the action. So we did this until one or so, said our good nights and went home. I thought everything was brilliant.

 

Next morning I was discussing the evening with my wife. She began telling me that every time I was away from her (to talk to somebody, get a drink, use the bathroom) she was pretty overwhelmed with men, ok? Well there was a LOT of penis there, which was why we went. Then she went on to say her ass got groped like four or five times, twice by the same guy we talked to earlier. As she was piecing it together the guys would disappear once I showed up. This made sense as she would be talking about some guy that I never met (did that a couple of times, in fact). I asked her was this overwhelming to the point we wouldn't go back, and she said pretty close. Of the four clubs we had been at, this was never an issue.

 

So two questions first what do we do now about that particular club? Never go back? Tell the guy running it, hey this is what happened better talk to the guys you let in?

 

Secondly as we explore this kind of club scene any suggestions for my wife and for the next time? Keep her close? Should she get shitty with the guys doing it from here out? Keep her back to the wall?

 

As always thanks for the help.

 

I will admit we 'normally' only go to clubs that are couples only. We have been to one that let single guys in, but the ratio wasn't nearly the same, and it wasn't an issue.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Grabbing by anyone should not happen. People need to be playing by the same rules all the time at any club.

 

My question would be though if you don't play with single men why go to a club that has a lot of them?

 

Most folks that go to clubs that have a lot of single men play with them, that is the reason it is set up that way.

 

I am not excusing their actions but I think that is an honest & fair question.

 

After all these years I have found that the couples that tend to voice concern about single men or have problems with them are the ones that don't play with them.

 

We don't go to couples only clubs for the same reason, we don't tend to play with couples only.

[kikonkrome 844]

My question would be though if you don't play with single men why go to a club that has a lot of them?

 

I was kinda expecting this question.

 

The appeal of the club was that it was open to men being bi as well as women...we probably would have played with a single man, we were actually looking for a bi couple...or a bi single man. We 'found' a single female...actually she wasn't a single female she was part of couple and he didn't play (I know it gets complicated). We were chatting with them, and I am guessing the fact that I was chatting with him as well, he was like sure love you guys to go play (which is what he actually said to us). She wanted to play with us so we were like great, she was cute, she was friendly, etc.

 

Our experience has been when we go to clubs it is really hard to 'find' exactly what you are looking for. You kinda go with the flow. That being said it was also probably why my wife didn't say anything at the time about what was happening.

 

There were two or three pretty clear offenders, one I had talked to at the beginning of the night, but always had someplace else to be at the end of the night (now that we have analyzed this a bit).

 

The other I have absolutely no memory of as he would leave as soon as I showed up. Like a drive by groping.

 

There is a lot going on in a busy night at a club. You're talking, laughing, and out of the corner of your eye people are having sex, etc. So it wasn't until we got home that we put the pieces together.

 

So feedback? Now we know for the next time, we would either confront them directly or tell the club manager/bouncer, I guess?

[VegasLee 1,486]

Ok, have a better idea why you were there. Good deal. You went to the right place it sounds like but did not follow through with your plan. That happens.

 

We have hosted 1000's of parties over 20+ years. We try to get across to people. IF there is any type of problem, tell us at the time.

We can not fix it later or when we see you post about it on line. The deed is done and the offender is gone.

 

Most of us hosts don't want the problem children. We really don't. Many think we only host parties with single guys for the money and in most cases that is NOT TRUE.

There are many, many couples and others that love to party with single guys. Most of the parties with the most action has single guys.

 

We pretty much do what our guests want us to do and we want EVERYONE comfortable. By not telling us at the time you are doing but yourself, other guests and us a disservice.

 

You are the party! We believe that. The parties are all about you. They can only be made better when you are an active part of making them better.

 

If you like what the place has to offer, go back. No real reason to spill your guts to the host now, nothing they can do about it unless you have names of the offenders.

IF it happens again, stop what you are doing and go calmly tell the host the problem. If they are a REAL HOST that believes the parties are about the people they will do something about it.

If they are just in it for the money,you are pretty much screwed and I would find another party to go to.

 

We tell people to NEVER confront them directly. You are there to have fun, the host is there to deal with the problems. Let's all do our jobs.

 

Hope things go better for you in the future.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Every club owner wants everyone to come back (otherwise the place gets empty real quick). Let the club owner know whenever someone is being disrespectful and I'm sure that they will address it immediately. Nobody wants someone who is disrespectful around regardless of their sex. One person grabbing asses leads others that it is okay for them to do the same. Even now that the event is over, I would still make the owner aware of the problem. If they don't address the problem, then go somewhere else.

[Guest]

I have never been groped at a couples club or resort. If its a club or even a house party of any size where they allow single guys, then there is almost the expectation of being groped. On Saturday night, when there are couples only at our club, go into the pool and no one touches you. On Sunday when its nude sun bathing and single guys, go into the pool and you will feel a hand or dick rubbing up against your ass. To me, it may be more about the magnitude of the grope. It can be as simple as a guy putting his hand on your shoulder or back while you are talking to him and perhaps slipping it down on your ass. And then, there are the more aggressive gropes....