Question about Rules females have to follow

[Keely52255 15]

I am new to swinging and my husband is taking us to New Orleans big swinger party later this summer I am nervous about women not obeying the same rules as guys and just coming up and grabbing my husband or trying to mess with him while I'm in the restroom. Should I be worried about this or do women play by the same rules? I know I'm somewhat jealous and I would be ok if approached properly, but I know I will flip out if that happens.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

You can only control yourself. If you feel that you will "flip out" and cause a scene or "flip out" and be in a bad mood the rest of the evening, then you shouldn't go. You also shouldn't go to a strip club or a vanilla dance club.

 

That being said, most people in the lifestyle are respectful. However, alcohol tends to lower inhibitions and men and women get frisky especially when there is a lot of sexual energy floating around.

 

If you feel like you can control yourself and brush off silly come-ons by drunk girls as a compliment to you and your husband and not a cause for anger, then you and your husband should have a long talk about rules and what if's.

 

Just decide ahead of time, what if a girl grabs his crotch in front of you? while you are in the restroom? what if someone approaches you? what if things get flirty on the dance floor with other people? what if one of you drinks too much? what if...

[Keely52255 15]

I understand people will be people, but from everything I have been reading men are bound by strict rules and act better in these events. Yet it says nothing that women have to ask permission to touch or obey any of the same rules. I wanted to know if they do or not normally. I understand the what if and all that bullshit. Right now I am under the impression I am about to walk in somewhere they say here's my husband I'm taking yours and I can do that I'm female. I'm female I rule all, I can touch and do whatever turns me on. Thank you for making my first outreach turn into an asshole comment. Yes I am scared cause that is everything I have been able to read about the culture. Few women complain that women have too many rights and men have too few. Yes I am open with my husband he knows and understands my concerns. And I understand I have the power to make everything stop instantly got it. That's not what I asked. I asked how do females normally act?

[Swingtwins 15]

You can only control yourself. If you feel that you will "flip out" and cause a scene or "flip out" and be in a bad mood the rest of the evening, then you shouldn't go. You also shouldn't go to a strip club or a vanilla dance club.

 

That being said, most people in the lifestyle are respectful. However, alcohol tends to lower inhibitions and men and women get frisky especially when there is a lot of sexual energy floating around.

 

If you feel like you can control yourself and brush off silly come-ons by drunk girls as a compliment to you and your husband and not a cause for anger, then you and your husband should have a long talk about rules and what if's.

 

Just decide ahead of time, what if a girl grabs his crotch in front of you? while you are in the restroom? what if someone approaches you? what if things get flirty on the dance floor with other people? what if one of you drinks too much? what if...

 

 

The question was not if keely52255 can control herself , it was if women have to follow the same set of rules that men do. Yes they do! Regardless of an entilitlment the fair sex may think they have. In most "lifestyle parties, events ect there are rules of behavior , true women get away with more than men do in this female driven events , but no they don't get to follow different rules! Some drunk woman grabs your husband without taking the proper politeness expected from us men she should be asked to exit the event. You man needs to support this, it's not tolerated by men and should not be tolerated by women. Simply contact the event host explain the situation with your man and have her removed. It its not done, as it would be in a hot min. for a guy. Tell them you'll spend the next six months posting on every formum and board website to tell every swinger you can to avoid this low class event!!!! They will ask her man at the very least to take her away.

 

That all said ....honestly you're more likely to be groped or grabbed at a regular bar than a swingers party.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Swingtwins

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hello, Keely52255, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

Yes, women should follow the same rules as the guys, and almost always do! That said... Are you two going to Naughty in Nawlins? I've not been to that event, but I have strolled down Bourbon Street in the French Quarter. And It's possible that the alcohol-fueled crowd, male and female both, might not exactly be on their best behavior! So I think the odd grope or two might happen.

 

BTW, I think funcoupledayton was just trying to be helpful, and honestly misinterpreted your question:) We really are a friendly bunch here!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I get that you are scared and I can see where you might have gotten this impression just on the basis of not seeing it spelled out. But, you've got nothing to worry about. The reason why it's spelled out more for men is because it tends to be more of an issue with men thinking that they can do what they want. Whereas women are much less likely to be an issue.

 

Yes, women do get away with more just like they get away with more when they're dealing with male strippers than guys do with female strippers. However, it really comes down to respect with your interactions I'm not going to walk up to some woman's husband and just plant one on him or grab his ass without knowing that it's OK with Her, as well as him that's really how it should be with all interactions - male female or female female or male male.

 

Early on in my swinging career, like 15 years ago, I did run into some situations where bi females thought that they could get away with anything with an other bi female without asking her, or without thinking twice. However, I've not run into that in over a decade.

 

These days the rule of thumb is respect. Generally , does that mean that people actually outright ask "may I do this" for everything that they do?. But it means that they try to take the time to make sure that it's OK with other people first.

[Keely52255 15]

I do understand and it does make me less scared of the situation. Thank you for taking the time to explain this to me. I love visiting New Orleans, yes we are going to naughty in nawlins. I am excited to go and go to all the parties, I was just worried women would act like its a free for all. Thank you again.

[kikonkrome 844]

Yes, women do get away with more just like they get away with more when they're dealing with male strippers than guys do with female strippers. However, it really comes down to respect with your interactions I'm not going to walk up to some woman's husband and just plant one on him or grab his ass without knowing that it's OK with Her, as well as him that's really how it should be with all interactions - male female or female female or male male.

 

Early on in my swinging career, like 15 years ago, I did run into some situations where bi females thought that they could get away with anything with an other bi female without asking her, or without thinking twice. However, I've not run into that in over a decade.

 

These days the rule of thumb is respect. Generally , does that mean that people actually outright ask "may I do this" for everything that they do?. But it means that they try to take the time to make sure that it's OK with other people first.

 

Ummmmm yeah...you can get away with more than is legal with female strippers if you are willing to pay, just sayin'. Next time just ask.

 

Situations we have run into in no particular order,

 

• Women sitting in my lap (my wife always comments about that)
  
• Bi-Women, and Men groping the wife...and yes the women are just as aggressive, even more so than the men, although there are less of them. My wife has been overwhelmed by the men.
  
• Women 'offering' or presenting various body parts to both of us, (no I do not think I have seen men do this?!?)
  
• Women being aggressive verbally ('Wow I just want to kidnap you!!')
  

 

From my perspective it can be more difficult watching somebody flirt with your SO, than having sex. Not really sure why that is? I am rather protective of my wife though, and it disappears once I see her smile.

[Keely52255 15]

Ok rule one if he is sitting stay in his lap.

 

I know he will deck a dude for grabbing me without permission and it wouldn't be the first time.

 

Problem being I don't know if I will be just as aggressive of someone coming up and touching him without permission or sitting in his lap. Flirting ok I can handle that without being physical I am sure of that.

 

Strippers have always been respectful to us and never touch him or anything without permission. Or without knowing I am comfortable with what's going on. I know if they are paid they will do more than legal. It has been fun. I am always fine when approached respectfully and the same for my husband he is nice to guys when approached respectfully.

 

This is just my first time doing anything like this and I am hoping it will be a good experience. I am overthinking everything. I know the hubby isn't about to betray my trust in all this cause he wants to do it again. I'm just worried about entitled females.

 

Plus I am partially judging it from what I see online, when people try to catch our interest they are very crude and rude and women feel they can do anything they want.

 

It is nice to know on one hand they are suppose to act better at these events too.

[kikonkrome 844]

Ok rule one if he is sitting stay in his lap.

 

I know he will deck a dude for grabbing me without permission and it wouldn't be the first time.

 

Problem being I don't know if I will be just as aggressive of someone coming up and touching him without permission or sitting in his lap. Flirting ok I can handle that without being physical I am sure of that.

 

Strippers have always been respectful to us and never touch him or anything without permission. Or without knowing I am comfortable with what's going on. I know if they are paid they will do more than legal. It has been fun. I am always fine when approached respectfully and the same for my husband he is nice to guys when approached respectfully.

 

This is just my first time doing anything like this and I am hoping it will be a good experience. I am overthinking everything. I know the hubby isn't about to betray my trust in all this cause he wants to do it again. I'm just worried about entitled females.

 

Plus I am partially judging it from what I see online, when people try to catch our interest they are very crude and rude and women feel they can do anything they want.

 

It is nice to know on one hand they are suppose to act better at these events too.

 

If you think you or he need to 'deck' somebody at one of these events because somebody crosses the line, please don't go. A blunt, 'Hey stop that' has always done the trick for us. Once things get violent (and I am strictly talking about vanilla experience for us here), the evening is over for us, even when we are not involved.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Some drunk woman grabs your husband without taking the proper politeness expected from us men she should be asked to exit the event. You man needs to support this, it's not tolerated by men and should not be tolerated by women. Simply contact the event host explain the situation with your man and have her removed. It its not done, as it would be in a hot min. for a guy.

 

 

Swingtwins

 

Actually it is done. However, as you pointed out its rarely the male that complains, it's usually the wife, which is fine. She's typically the one more bothered by the situation but if a club gives a Damn at all they will remove a disrespectful female just as fast as they will a disrespectful male.

 

If you have to threaten a club owner to get them to do what's right it's not a club you want to be at.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok rule one if he is sitting stay in his lap.

 

I know he will deck a dude for grabbing me without permission and it wouldn't be the first time.

 

Problem being I don't know if I will be just as aggressive of someone coming up and touching him without permission or sitting in his lap. Flirting ok I can handle that without being physical I am sure of that .

 

Don't swing. It's not for you.

[MrDiscover 802]

Best advice in this thread.

[Napoleon 230]

In the swinger world is ok for women to do dumb disrespectful stuff and not get held accountable for it, but if a man does the exact same dumb disrespectful stuff he get held accountable for it.

 

Most men(husbands and boyfriends) in the swinger world don't have the balls to hold women accountable for bad behavior. Women have complete power over them.