Couples with an age difference of 15 years or more

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I've seen a few threads around here from couples who have a great age difference (15+) between husband and wife (or boyfriend and girlfriend). There's usually talk about finding similar couples with age differences or finding a younger couple. I have been wondering if there is more difficulty in finding suitable or interested couples to swap with because of the age difference.

 

For example, when a couple has an older male and a younger female, if they are looking for a younger couple, it might be difficult because usually younger women aren't interested in swapping with a 15+ year older male. They might be more interested in ones closer to their age, like their own partner. Or vice versa if it's an older female with a younger male looking for a younger couple.

 

We've also seen couples with such an age difference at parties and the younger half is the one who plays while the older partner sits and watched on the side.

 

For those who have such a age difference in their relationship, do you think it's harder to find swing partners or do you find yourselves sought out by similar aged couples? Have you had to modify how you two swing because of the age difference?

[swing.kidz 367]

As long as they look good (to us), can hold a conversation and it's obvious (and clearly communicated) that everyone wants to be a part of the play time...then game on.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We avoid couples like that. When the Ms. and I were looking for each other, I had a rule that I didn't want someone more than 5 years younger or older so that we would have the same references and similar experiences growing up. It's just a personal thing...that and the couples that I knew that had 10+ years difference all had serious problems (especially as one started having health issues and the other still was ready to party). So it's just personal preferences for us, but we would pass (too many visions of 40something men with a comb over driving their Corvette with a 20something woman next to them).

[angelkin 1,326]

I tend to avoid couples with a wide age gap because I know a bit about that dynamic. My first husband was 24 years my senior. I was old and he was immature. We hardly agreed on anything and because of the age difference, I often just went along with whatever he wanted (we didn't swing).

 

When I see a couple with a large age difference, I wonder what the currency in the relationship is. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's mutual love, admiration and respect. Those qualities must be present in the relationship of those I'd choose to swing with.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . I was old and he was immature.

Wow. Now that I think on it, this would fit many relationships that I've known. But I have also then the obverse -- I am thinking that neither maturity nor wisdom are necessarily related to years.

[PandO 103]

My husband is 10yrs older than me. (I know the question was 15yrs or more.) I don't really feel it in most ways though. I've always been mostly annoyed by men my own age. Especially while in my 20s, but even now a bit in my 30s. I tend to like older men. Not "old" men but older. We are 31 (me) and 41 (husband). And the couple we are currently talking to is 38 (her) and 48 (him).

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

...just because you are old, it doesn't mean that you have grown up.

[AngelandTiger 364]

Interesting question. I (Tiger)am 57 and Angel is 46. We have almost (not quite) 12 years between us. In terms of physical age, no one actually believes I'm 57...I mostly am taken for being low to mid 40s. Similarly, Angel is thought to be younger as well. In terms of physical activities, I'm a martial artist, bicyclist and volleyball enthusiast. However, when people look at our profile, it's often difficult for them to get a feel for our "apparent" ages rather than our chronological ages. Thus, an SLS couple looking for a couple aged 20-48, for instance, will pass us by if we contact them, based on our "chronological" age (don't forget, by the way, to update yours on SLS; it doesn't happen automagically). If we meet people in person however; say, at an event, we are often flirted with by, and have played with, people who would never have given our profile a second thought based on our ages. As for us, we look for couples with maturity between 20 and 150 (we figure that if the're 150, they must have a VERY good secret which we'd like to learn, they would probably be hot as hell because the life-prolongation technology that the would be using could confer that as well, and they have had a LOT of practice....). We are much more attracted to people with wit, charm, intelligence and personality. We are much more interested in cultivating friends that we play with repeatedly, and we think that one and done just feels hollow and "icky". YMMV. So, as long as we are attracted to the other couple, we don't have a problem with age or age gap.

[njbm 2,908]

I am 8 days older than my wife. I think our closeness in age lets us understand each other better. We grew up with the same cultural references.

[couplers 4,726]

I am 8 days older than my wife. I think our closeness in age lets us understand each other better. We grew up with the same cultural references.

 

Made it easier to rob the cradle since you were already there.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

I would never even think about dating anyone more than seven days older or younger

[Alura 2,775]

Mrs. Alura was sixteen years younger than I. After many long discussions we allowed as how the biggest problem would be that she'd probably be widowed for a long time. She decided it would be worth it. Well, that didn't turn out to be the case, but the (almost) thirty years we spent together was (by far) the best of my life. I'm sure she would echo that sentiment.

 

Our swing partner-couples turned out to be between our ages. No problems due to age were encountered.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I tend to avoid couples with a wide age gap because I know a bit about that dynamic. My first husband was 24 years my senior. I was old and he was immature. We hardly agreed on anything and because of the age difference, I often just went along with whatever he wanted (we didn't swing).

 

When I see a couple with a large age difference, I wonder what the currency in the relationship is. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's mutual love, admiration and respect. Those qualities must be present in the relationship of those I'd choose to swing with.

 

Signed up just to reply to this. We don't swing (although we're both interested), but we have an approximately 20 year age difference.

 

When I asked her out, she thought I was older than I was, I thought she was younger than she was. The initial currency in our relationship was definitely sex. By the time we'd figured our ages out, it had moved past getting our kinks out, realized we were a great couple, and had started making travel plans. We have a happy and healthy relationship based on some hard-earned trust and a shared sense of fun (including my libido). We compliment each other's quirks in a lot of ways, and ten years on, I don't think we could have it any other way.

 

Fortunately, we haven't had any real challenges related to the age difference, and socially, most people don't notice, at least so far. I just bring this up because I do think that there are healthy age-gap relationships out there, since I'm living one.

 

(Of course, ours is maybe the other way around from the stereotypical 'older man has money, younger woman spends it' dynamic...)

 

(And I don't mean I spend her money. )

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Welcome, EastInWest! I'm so glad that a thread interested you so much you had to register and reply! I hope you stay around and join in more thread topics.

[benawyl 35]

Well I'm 46 in two weeks my partner is 59( looks 45)

 

We met a couple this weekend where he is 29 and she is 22. They want to see us this weekend.

 

So it's definitely possible.

 

My partner has lots of guys in their twenties hit on her.

[willyoats 324]

One of my regular partners often has an "afternoon delight" with guys who are more than 25 yeas younger than she is. My favorite swing partner whom I have been with for more than 20 years is 15 years younger than I am. I think age is no factor if the chemistry is right.

[EastInWest 1,524]

My partner has lots of guys in their twenties hit on her.

 

Mrs. EastInWest routinely gets the same "issue". She does look an easy 15 years younger than she is, to the point that there is often confusion over paperwork that shows her age.

 

We have a bit of a running gag going about my birthdays where she'll observe that this is her last chance to fuck a [my passing age]-year-old. I always like to remind her that it won't be if I get my way.

[Fundamental Law 2,909]

It's interesting. We have gotten to know two couples where the age gap is approximately twenty years. The gap is progressively irrelevant with age. We are older, of course, and among the pair of couples, the youngest is mid 40's.

[larry818 58]

When I see a couple with a large age difference, I wonder what the currency in the relationship is. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's mutual love, admiration and respect.

 

When I was single, 16 years ago, I went to a few dating web sites. I specifically wanted a partner that's my age, say within 3 years. At that time, I connected online with two women with the exact same name and kind of missed that one of them was 12 years younger than me. By the time we fell in love, it was too late to care. Married 16 years so far...

[enhancer 1,587]

We are 13 years apart in age! Her being 31 and myself being 44. We did not seek each other out, because of age difference. We simply meet and hit it off in a way neither of us experienced with anyone else before. Just for the record our relationship is 100 percent built on mutual love, admiration and respect. We are on the same page in every aspect of life and are best friends as well as lovers. Our age difference has never been an issue for us in the six years we have been together. Other people we know are always commenting on how strong our bond and relationship is in a positive way. We are extremely happy to have found each other.

 

As for how it effects our swing life it has not really had that much of an impact! When we meet people in person at parties people don't notice the age difference, because I do not look my age at all. No comb over, still have all my hair, not much grey, no pot belly and no wrinkles. When we tell people our age difference they alway seem surprised.

 

Online there might be some people that see our age difference that are not interested, but to be honest we could really care less, because there is enough interest from others it just doesn't matter. We find the late 30's couples that will not play with anyone a little older then themselves a joke anyways. Most of them look older and are in worse shape then me anyways.

 

Most of our regular play friends are closer in age to her then me. None of them have ever complained and they keep coming back so all is good.

 

For the most part we look for people that are somewhere between our ages give or take a couple years, but it is really going to come down to the person not the age for us.

[willyoats 324]

When I posted above, I forgot the 20-something guy who chased my 50-something wife at our club. He said that he just liked older women. He was a pleasant, polite and seemingly well adjusted young men. I do not remember if his pursuit was successful, and I am not going to interrupt my wife's TV program to ask.

[Guest]

We don’t seek out younger (by your definition) but have had a number of them approach us. I’m actually a year older than hubby but younger guys will approach us at Desires or couples clubs. Hubby says they are interested me and he gets the benefit of enjoying the younger wives. I’m always surprised that they are willing to trade the younger wife for an “older” woman.