Single bisexual female unsure of how to start finding couples

[techunicorn 17]

I'm sure this is a topic that has been covered before and there are probably some people who might roll their eyes about my dilemma....please bear with me I'm new to all this.

 

I'm a early 20s bisexual female who has been in serious long term relationships basically since high school. After my last one ended I sort of realized in a panic that I wasn't living the way I wanted. I'm a very driven and goal oriented person and relationships make me too complacent and compromising towards my work ethic. Also I realized that while I'm young I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to explore and fuck and have fun with life. Being attracted to women my whole life but not getting a chance to explore it more has also been killing me, and ever since my last breakup I have been almost exclusively focused my attraction on women due to missing out on this. However I'm not interested in dating either gender or finding a relationship, and so after really thinking about what I wanted I realized I would like to explore with couples. That way I could get in my fix for romantic/sexual interaction as well as both genders, without having all the high pressure that comes from dealing with single people.

 

However, despite the fact that I'm in my early 20s I feel like I'm lost when it comes to this because being in serious relationships for the past 7 years I haven't really ever had to navigate the hookup scene. People might say that a young bisexual female should have an easy time finding couples but I barely know how to find other singles (having been pursued by all my ex's) let alone people into less vanilla stuff. Plus I live in a smaller town so there's no real swinger clubs where I live, though I'm sure there are some ones I could travel too.

 

If anyone can give me advice on where to start that would be great. I get this is basic stuff but I'm finally breaking free from my monogamous, secluded shell into exploring all the stuff I've been dying too my whole life without having to sign on for another long term relationship commitment. I also want to note as a young student, I'm more interested in finding an older stable couple to be with. Not only do I want low drama, but I somewhat crave a mentorship role since my whole life I've dated younger and felt like I've never been able to really have that great sexually developing relationship with those who are more explored and satisfied than me (all my boyfriends were virgins when we met if that gives any indication....). Also as someone who is graduating with top honors, applying to a top 5 grad school for my degree, and a total type A workaholic I would like a couple compatible on that level and all the in person people I know who want to experience swinging are not really my type there. I'm not looking for a relationship but I do want chemistry.

 

Any help is appreciated :)

[PandO 103]

If you look into some swinger websites like swinglifestyle.com you will realize that every single person there is looking for a female or couple, you'd be snatched out of the market in no time, unicorns are sought after commodity lol

[techunicorn 17]

That's what I've heard so it gives me hope lol, I just don't know the legit sites/places to look. I remember back when I first heard about swinging someone mentioned using OKcupid but I don't think that really actually caters to people in the lifestyle as much as dudes trying to pressure their gf's into having a 3some. Also the people on the site are more my age and I'm looking for sexy 30-somethings ideally.

[Pklon 62]

There also swingers clubs. Not sure if there any in Minnesota or any other city near by. Just used Google and see what near by. Most clubs let single women in free on some nights, if not free it dirt cheap. Just go to the bar and smile and people will come to you. Just do not be surprised if people in there late 30s and early 40s hit on you. If you do not mind. Once at the club just enjoy yourself and have fun.

[angelkin 1,326]

SLs and SZC are good legit swinger sites - give those a look and see if there are people in your area

[njbm 2,866]

SLS! As a unicorn, you should be able to write your own ticket. Try to meet people outside your comfort zone (age, ethnicity). It should be a buffet for you!

[cplnuswing 4,712]

I'll just add to the chorus, SLS is where you need to be. All of the swingers sites listed on our Find Swingers page are good reputable sites. Some sites might have different bells and whistles than other sites, and some have a stronger presence in certain parts of the country than other, but overall, SLS is the best place to find swingers online. Put up a profile and watch your inbox light up. You'll get so many replies that it's going to be work keeping up with them and sorting through them to find the ones that may interest you.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

SLS also allows free listings so it won't cost you anything to sign up. Put up a profile and some pictures to show that you are serious. They don't need to include a recognizable face shot, but they shouldn't just be a bunch of nude shots...that will be taken that you are a fake. Just include some pictures like you would on a dating website (you can even keep your cloths on). You will receive an avalanche of replies and get to pick and choose from there. I'ld tell you good luck, but you won't need ANY luck...so have fun!

[NorCalRnS 21]

If you do end up finding a swing club or two to attend, make sure and have a chat with whoever runs it. They should be willing to take good care of you and watch out for your well being. You'll have every opportunity to meet as many people as you want. Have a great time, wish you lived closer to NorCal, we could use a few good unicorns.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

I was going to say the exact same thing including the NorCal comment...then I saw that you are from Sactown too. Howdy neighbor!

[Tikiandclown 42]

We are in Minnesota.Swingtowns and Fetlife have helped us connect with people. And the Big O events are fun

[CassieNineTales 26]

My hubby and I are in Minnesota and are also in our mid 20s too! Thank god there are some other people in here from MN! I was beginning to feel a little lonely hahaha! (If you dont mind he piggybacking off of your post- please delete if you'd like) what are good Swingers clubs in Minnesota and where are they located at?