Husband not used to condoms

[Shore2Please 610]

Maybe TMI here. We are somewhat new just playing a handful of times. We have attended 2 parties and have played with two couples alone. Both of our one on ones were without protection. Parties play was safe only (mostly safe).

 

When my husband and I are alone we haven't use protection in forever. Birth control and both of us being fixed. We really never had to deal with stopping in the middle or mood busting. I sort of don't remember the hassle and what the implications of using a condom were. We have enjoyed our sex life and what we do in bed. We have easily gone from one position to another, oral to sex back to oral. We both enjoy oral so we sometimes stop in the middle of sex and return to oral. My most enjoyable orgasm come from me on top and from oral. My husband says he many times thinks he cums the most from oral so even after having sex he like me to continue with oral. It is just our way. I told him to me I couldn't tell the difference during the sex act, once we are in the act I felt the same. He said it is completely different. He said he lost the feel of the woman and the heat of her body. He also missed the changing of going to oral and back again. He never even went there knowing that a blow job with a condom is stupid to him. I asked him if he would rather we don't go to these parties again. He was honest and said he liked the idea of swinging but he just has to get used to the condoms. He also said we had been with 2 of the couples with using so isn't the use of them with other couples a waste.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Condoms suck. We are the same way, we had no need to use them for many years leading up to swinging, and while she doesn't notice much of a difference, he absolutely does.

 

Whether to play with condoms or bareback is a decision all couples have to make for themselves. I will repeat some advice I read on this site that proved to be absolutely true, and that is when comes to condoms, don't just go to the discount store and grab whatever off the rack. Having the condom that's right for you does make a big difference. They still suck, but not as bad. You can go online, one of the sites that sponsors this site is Undercover Condoms but there are plenty of others too, and you will find a much better selection. Condoms are cheap, so just order a bunch of different ones and then try them out when it's just you two to find the ones that are best for him, and then he can stock up on those if you decide to keep playing using condoms.

[MrDiscover 802]

Cplnuswing is absolutely right: it really really makes a huge difference to put some effort in finding the right size and type. Took us a long time but since we found perfectly fitting condoms, in our case MySize, it makes (almost) all the difference. What also worked for us well, is adding a drop of lube on the inside before putting it on.

 

I'm fixed now but we still use them together for anal, to make the transition back to vaginal easier.

[cplnluv1 871]

We Too haven't needed condoms since we had our last child. Even before that we had birth control and when I was t on the pill we used other ways of sex to make sure I didn't get pregnant. Std was never a concern because it was just us. We did pick a three pack up before our first meeting with a couple. We met primarily for me and another woman to play and went to a complete swap. We never opened the package. We brought that same pack with us to our next venture. Never used them. They only talk we had was my husband saying it was exciting watching me handle sucking all the way. When we met a couple who insisted on condoms we went along with it. MY husband did complain also that it wasn't the same. I agree that I didn't notice the difference. The sex was pretty good. My husband said that he didn't enjoy and that she kept asking if the condom was still on. She kept checking.

We have talked about playing safer and know we should but my husband said all the couples we are meeting are new to swinging. We do try to find first timers but that doesn't mean they really are.

[Guest]

When we first started swinging, I would require the guy to wear a condom even for oral sex. To my surprise, a couple of them thought it was really erotic that I would suck them while they wore a condom, like somehow it showed that I really wanted to suck. I was surprised. As time went by, I stopped the practice and require them now only for vaginal or anal intercourse.

[ifonly 21]

As others have stated, local drug store condoms should not be the first choice; there is a huge difference in the products available. I have found the Okamoto 0.02 to work the best for me although they do cost a little more. I order online and they are delivered directly from Japan. I can hardly tell that I have one on. -

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I always got a kick out of the brand name "Stealth Condoms" and the marketing slogan, "You never see them cumming."

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Stealth condoms remind me of anything that is stealth or camouflaged...if it truly is stealth, once you set it down, how do you find it again? And would I really want the woman NOT to be able to see my penis once I put it on (uh, where did it go?).

[Shore2Please 610]

I don't think it is a matter of cost. I am sure whether we buy the best, thinnest, safest, protection, he would say it bothers him. I for one would never give a blowjob to a guy with a condom on. I hate the smell of them and couldn't imagine having fun for either of us orally. Did you make the guy put something on you when he did oral. To me, if a guy wears a condom for vaginal sex, I am alright with it. My husband seems that the issue should be more of, are we with the wrong people. We have to trust the people we are doing this with. I know that is silly

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I just meant that since condoms aren't $10 each, then not much lost in trying 20 different ones since even if you put it on for 10 strokes and then rip if off and throw it away, nothing lost there. A lot of the online places have sampler assortments too, which is obviously something you don't find in stores.

 

He's right. It like I said, when it comes to condoms, it's not a matter of does it suck because the answer to that is yes, always, it's a matter of how much it sucks.

 

Swinging is a calculated risk, just like everything else in life. The amount of trust you put in your partners does factor into the protection vs. bareback decision. But, there is still risk. You can trust them 110%, and they can do absolutely nothing to have violated or not lived up to that trust, and yet you still could get a STD since they might not even know they have it themselves. They can't tell you about what they don't know about. The best approach I think is to determine what level of risk you are comfortable with. Then, get up to speed with the most current information about what STD's are out there, what the ramifications of each is, what you can do to protect against each, and so on. Then, figure out what that sweet spot is between risk and reward where you can still be comfortable.

[Brad145 58]

Some good advise so far, but in the end he just has to get over it!

 

Is the sensation different? yes of course!

 

Do I enjoy getting to have sex with other partners? Hell Yeah!

 

Recently we played with another couple, play time lasted roughly 1.5 hours, between vaginal, anal, oral and switching partners we ended up with 17 used condoms when we picked them up from the floor and neither of the guys 'came'

 

It's not a huge deal to take a second to pull one off for oral, or put on a new one for a change in activity or partner.

[TricianMike 772]

Recently we played with another couple, play time lasted roughly 1.5 hours, between vaginal, anal, oral and switching partners we ended up with 17 used condoms when we picked them up from the floor and neither of the guys 'came'

 

Sorry to hear that neither of the guys "came". Doesn't seem like a fun time to me. Maybe you spent too much time opening up condom packs and changing them every few minutes. You must of gone home in pain.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Sorry to hear that neither of the guys "came". Doesn't seem like a fun time to me. Maybe you spent too much time opening up condom packs and changing them every few minutes. You must of gone home in pain.

Producing an ejaculation is not, in my mind, the goal of a meet-up. The goal is simply to have fun.

[MrDiscover 802]

Sorry to hear that neither of the guys "came". Doesn't seem like a fun time to me.

 

I think that is very personal, I sometimes don't ejaculate but I am cumming, it does not have to be the same for me. Maybe that is what Brad means too.

[asncpl 729]

We are probably in the minority in playing bareback about half the time. We always use condoms on first meetings and group meetings like in a club. Like the other posters, my husband is partial to the superthin japanese brands like Okamoto.

 

Like cplnuswing said, it's a calculated risk. Even for us, it's too much of a risk to trust a playmate the first time around. We usually play with someone a couple of times, after getting to know them a bit, before we decide to play without condoms. It has its risks, but so far so good. The trade-off, if you can call it that, is we play with repeat partners half the time but we get to play bareback. I know some people like to meet new partners all the time, but that's not us.

[Shore2Please 610]

I gave my husband all the arguments for using a condom and he came back with his own. We haven't met that many people. The couple who got us started was brand new too, they said. And that couple is now more active and we don't what they are doing. He said we already met their friends and I said we don't know their friends and how active they are. Then the oral sex discussion. You can catch something from oral sex. The our talk went south for awhile and he admitted that watching me blow one of the guys and watching me make him cum was one of the hottest things he has seen. Of course it is! Hahaha. Then he said only one thing better is watching me give him a blow job. So the whole discussion ended and we had about an hour of oral sex and we are back to the beginning on the topic of condoms.

[cplnluv1 871]

The Mrs. posted about our use. It had been a long time since I bought a pack and brought back memories of my pre-married days. Okay I was still nervous buying them and figured nobody would play without using them. I was wrong from the first time meeting a young couple. We did meet them primarily for me to watch the girls but quickly turned to full on sex. I didn't stop or insist on using one when this very pretty younger thing got on top of me. I was intent more on not cumming in her than anything else. When I was ready to she told me to cum in her.

 

Since then most of the couples we met have not mentioned using them but when they do we use them. Using them reminds me of school days and I am still not swift on getting it on. It does take something away including the feeling. I admit I just buy Trojans and not fancy ones some have mentioned. Maybe they are better with less loss of feeling.

 

We know the risks and are wrong to think nothing will happen. I can't say we know everyone we meet and we are big on new people.

 

PS I too enjoy watching my wife give a blow job.