After the meet date....

[purple4215 55]

Needing advice...after a meet up date, if all goes well how do end the night. (Besides the obvious!). Hugging, Kissing, shake hands, how up front are you about taking the next step?

 

Also meeting someone totally new what type of questions do you usually ask?

 

Our plan is to be ourselves and see if chemistry is there and go with the flow, but we do have questions etc...how much do you ask that first night?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

It always seems to be a case by case basis. If we feel there is chemistry, Mrs two4you will usually be the first to go in for the hug.

 

As for questions, let the conversation flow, and all the general questions can usually be asked if there's a little bit of social chemistry. Talking about general experience, limits, likes, dislikes, etc, make for fun conversation, whether anything further happens or not.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Warm hugs and kisses have served us well. If the person of the opposite gender dodges the kiss (like an episode of the Larry David Show), it will be very telling. And little Hollywood-style lies are effective; "we'll be calling you soon".

 

If you and your partner ultimately decide that they are not compatible, not much lost owing to the fact that you had not actually developed anything like a "relationship".

 

Anyway, works for us. And for any of you Swingers Board members who have recently heard these words out of us upon first meeting and parting, we don't mean you. All Swingersboard members are awesome.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

If we felt chemistry, then hugs and handshakes and maybe floating a somewhat vague "we'll have to get together again sometime" statement out there, but in a way that leaves plenty of room for them to gracefully deflect it so they don't feel put on the spot. Basically, just enough to signal we are interested in seeing them again if they are interested in seeing us. If they reply with enthusiasm, then we'll follow that up with maybe making some tentative plans. Or, as has happened a couple of times, everybody may just cut to the chase and decide to go find somewhere more private right then

 

On the questions, we don't have a set list. We just try to keep the conversation going about whatever they want to talk about, and along the way maybe find out how long they have been swinging, how did they get into it, what their swinging style is, and so on. You don't want to be interrogating someone, but you do need to find out enough info to know whether the compatibility is there in regards to swinging.

[cplnluv1 874]

Maybe we are different in that we almost always meet thinking we are going to end up having sex. Maybe the other couple is checking us out more than we are them. Going back to our first time where we met the couple in a hotel bar. They were younger and better looking than us. We had nothing in common, we were nervous and just wanted to get it done. A short drink and up to the room. After that the couples were more like us but the main reason to meet was for sex. We all know that. We meet mostly first timers and there is awkwardness but Linda usually breaks the ice.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

If we like them and there's been some good flirting going on, but we're not able to play that night, we will kiss them good-bye. Usually a pretty intimate kiss, not just a peck. It's a good way to gauge interest. We'll follow up the next day by email or text to set a date. In the email we'll outright say, "We'd like to play."

[PandO 103]

When we met the couple we played with, that's part of why I thought they didn't like us, at first. I was not expecting to hear back from them. There had been so much chemistry and fun chat through emails and all that I expected a nice side hug AT LEAST. I kind of expected them to initiate as they were the more experienced of us, but it was just an awkward handshake. Lol Either way, it was less than an hour later that we heard from them and started setting up plans for our date. I think based on that, next time we meet a new couple, we would probably go with cplnuswing's advice. A nice handshake, maybe light hug and a open comment about getting together again sometime soon. Nothing too presumptious, but enough to let them know we're interested if they are.

[MrDiscover 802]

I recognize this 100%, PandO. When the couple we play with and us are together, it takes like hours before we (all) dare to touch or kiss. On text/email we can be bold, but in real life we all four are as shy as teenagers, even after three dates. So we all send out the wrong signals like we hesitated to go to the room and play. In retrospect it is part of the fun though, the whole game of dating

[Shore2Please 613]

The first couple we met was not meant to be for this. Maybe that was the best thing that happened. We met a couple on vacation on our cruise. We never even thought of swapping or doing anything with any couple before. We just became friends on the ship with plans to meet the next day and so some touring with them. The sexual talk was about going to a nude beach on one of the islands. My husband and I talked about it before we went and figured nobody would know us and what the hell, why not. When we went with this couple to that beach it was still in just a fun vacation mode. Sure their was teasing and I was a little shy but we all got nude and had some what I now know as vanilla fun. I did feel funny walking on a beach without clothing, and with people we now somewhat knew from the ship. There was no REAL sex talk until later when we were clothed and on the ship. I did feel funny meeting them for drinks and dinner after being nude with them. I wasn't even thinking what might happen and we would swap that night.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We always let the other couple know that the first meeting is just that...for meeting. It's actually how many couples are uncomfortable about taking about sex, especially since we are meeting to see about having sex. Anyways, we always try to give a warm goodbye to a couple that we are interested in (some couples, it takes everything we have to not just run away lol). We want couples we are interested in to know that we ARE interested, but also want to give them a chance to talk about us and see if they are likewise interested. We have met some couples that we really thought that we 'clicked' only to find out afterwards that it didn't click for them as well. It can't be taken personally (which is very hard to do), but if it's not there, then it's not there. Better to know from the start than later on. We usually follow up with an email the next day about how we enjoyed meeting them and then wait to see if they respond.

 

As for questions, either the conversation flows naturally from the start or things are not going well. We usually ask the standard questions about how long they have been together and how they decided to try swinging (usually this question can expose quite a lot...especially if both partners are truly interested or not). We tend to stay away from too many personal questions since most people are wanting to be very cautious with this type of information in the beginning. Of course, we usually ask about any 'experience' that they have had and try to keep the conversation kind of on the 'sexy' side. Hey, how many vanilla friends can you just come out and ask about their sex lives and expect an answer?

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

There are, for all intents and purposes two types of swingers: quantity and quality. It sounds like you are looking for quality (as in FWB). I'll stick by my original answer. One thing I left out was usually a follow up email the next day for couples that we are interested in saying how nice it was to meet them and that we hope to see them again (to open that door). From there, it's up to them to respond...or not (BTW, they are BAD people if they don't and we wouldn't want to have ANYTHING to do with BAD people so it's JUST FINE if they don't respond because they are BAD people...lol).