Having trouble finding a bi male playmate

[bbwbhm4fun 19]

Wife and I have been looking on and off for years for a bi male playmate, most recently to play with me while she watches. We start making contact and everything looks good and then, right as we're trying to arrange a time to meet....nothing. They seem to disappear from the face of the Earth. Usually it's when the guy expresses a kink that crosses a line for us (sex in public, recording, meeting without my wife present, etc.) but we politely refuse.

 

Any tips on how to find a bi playmate?

[JandKinBoise 858]

Welcome! I can sympathize with your plight. Bi guys are easy to find (on paper). The search is full of horrors though.

 

If you are advertising on line, and I assume you are, spend way too much time writing an ad. I don't mean write a book, but write something that will attract the right guy. Every ad will attract a ton of the wrong guy. The key is being patient. We have had mmf sex with a dozen or so guys. Each guy was after searching, answering ads, placing ads, replying to guys, whittling down the candidates. I would say that we make physical contact one time out of every 50 to 75 mail replies, and hundreds of replies we don't bother opening.

 

Some advice on the ad: Be specific in your desires. If you don't like BDSM, make a point to mention that. If your bisexuality is directed in certain areas, say you are just looking for oral sex, make sure it's noted in the ad. Can you host or do you need someone to host? Are you looking for a one time thing or long term?

 

Most importantly, somewhere in the ad, near the end but not at the end, ask for a specific word in the reply. Only open ads that have this word in the subject. The others didn't read your ad and are a waste of time.

 

Good hunting.

[HeatherBrowne 16]

Let's talk. I'm a bi-guy, married, longtime swinger but my wife doesn't anymore due to illness and age. Age is my only problem, need a lot of stimulation to get and keep it up. Viagra works, thank God. Age is a factor, I'm a fit 81 195# 6'-0" and have hair on my head! Live in Waynesville, where you?

[MrDiscover 802]

The last advice about a code word in the ad is brilliant! Useful for every swinger, bi or not.

[kikonkrome 844]

So I got to say we have had the exact same problem!! Our goal was either a bi-guy, or an all bi-couple, preferably. We have attended an all bi party that's local to us twice and had zero success.

 

Thanks for the code word info. Not really sure what I'll do next.

[NakedInSeattle 159]

Your profile doesn't show your age but, whether "mature" or not, I'd have the male half join SilverDaddies.com. Tons and tons of bi guys there and serious about it! If you put into your profile that you and your lady are interested in a third, you'll be deluged with interest. For quicker response, go into one of the chat/cam chat rooms and state the same!

[herpob 563]

Wife and I have been looking on and off for years for a bi male playmate, most recently to play with me while she watches. We start making contact and everything looks good and then, right as we're trying to arrange a time to meet....nothing. They seem to disappear from the face of the Earth. Usually it's when the guy expresses a kink that crosses a line for us, (sex in public, recording, meeting without my wife present, etc.) but we politely refuse.

 

Any tips on how to find a bi playmate?

 

I wanted to state that I feel where you are coming from. I thought finding bi males would be the easy part and that couples would be the difficult to do. I have found dozens of wives like myself who get off by men and men and they say that their husbands are bicurious and even bisexual. Yet via any sites we have tried, the men are the ones who appear to chicken out. A few times the person typing is the husband who is supposedly doing all the communicating but when pressed to met as a couple he/they all chicken out as well.

 

I have had more success when traveling with my husband as of late. Over the past many months we have grown so much sexually as we have met other travelers. I listen to others as we are walking, it is amazing how many people are talking about sex. I have now twice found couples who play and we have gotten to know and were able to have some fun with. Since we did not know them for long of course we were very safe and careful what took place, but the potential for so much more is there.

 

I guess where you hang out, the people you hang with, can be a determining factor. Study people who you think might be what you are after. Watch if they are flirty, sexual, listen to them, introduce yourself and your wife very openly letting them know you'd looove to get to know them better. And see where it leads. On the road so far it has worked. Not certain why is hasn't here though. Guess I better take my own advice and go to a different hang out spot...

[jonsbttm4all 42]

As a bi guy it's REALLY hard to differentiate yourself to stand out from the bs crowd of guys who claim to be bi just to get to screw some guys wife....or the total flakes.

 

It's frustrating.

[Bicuriousnc44 15]

As a single man who is bi curious I was wondering what seems to be the hurdles couples run into when trying to find a bi guy?

[JandKinBoise 858]

The 2 biggest hurdles are 1: married 2: no understanding of women.

 

Most bi guys answering an ad are focused on communicating with the husband. Trust me, he isn't making the final decision about this. If a guy answers an ad from a couple looking for a bi guy, a few things will get an immediate no. Pictures of a dick, one line grunt "I'll doer", Bragging, demanding, focused on one thing, pictures of a dick, poor grammar.

 

Then there is the meeting. We met this one guy after a bunch of e-mails which were well composed, thoughtful, friendly. Then we sit at a bar with this guy for almost an hour. Him on one side of the table, my wife and me on the other side. He never once even glanced at my wife, much less actually spoke to her. She spent a long time getting ready to meet a guy she had kinda planned on banging pretty soon. She looked fucking hot. Way out of this guys league imo. By the time we were able to 'escape' the bar, she was livid. Sure he was terrified, whatever, don't go into this lacking confidence.

 

You may be bi, you may be wanting to get some dick and pussy at the same time. Just remember, guys are easy, women need to be seduced.

 

Our most successful bi mmf relationship started with a meeting in a bar after he answered an ad we posted. He came up to us, introduced himself to my wife with a hug and slightly sexy compliment. He never lost interest in her and she was dripping in short order.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

I'm the bi guy on the other side of the table, will to suck the husbands cock, or whatever else we have discussed. For me every couple is different & I'm busy working to strike a balance between being the right amount of Alpha to her & less to the husband. In preliminary messages or phone cons theres not a lot of time to figure out what people are leaving out or what they are really saying. So its a social challenge to keep everyone comfy on the first date. Last winter I meet a couple I really thought I had a rapport with, but who abruptly changed their mind and ceased communication after that meeting. Not a clue why.

 

Have noticed that for every couple that contacts me I have been approached by two or three "Straight" males who is really bi, or says he is, and who has a wife or live in gf in the background, but who wont be playing with us. Most of those flake out at some point.

[Guest]

As a single man who is bi curious I was wondering what seems to be the hurdles couples run into when trying to find a bi guy?

 

 

That most of them are straight guys pretending to be bi so they can fuck someones wife or girlfriend.

 

That we get bombarded by messages from straight guys, that it says "Straight" on their profile but suddenly they are saying they are bisexual.

 

That a lot of guys on line can be rude / pushy / totally focused on sex / vulgar and so on.

 

That men on line often don't introduce themselves or tell you anything about them at all.

 

That a lot of them are cheating and already have a wife or girlfriend at home and want you to be the dirty little secret.

 

That all you can actually see is close up pictures of their penis.

[jimmyjay69 19]

I can play and will be a submissive bottom for a couple