Not responding to messages?

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Just looking to get a little feedback, I know that it may be different in various areas and there are many factors included. But in general do couples you reach out to respond? We would be ok to even get a polite no thanks, but so many don't even bother to do that. Let's say we send out 10 messages, 8-9 will not respond at all. Just looking to see if we are experiencing an out of the norm response.

[angelkin 1,327]

I don't think so. Connecting online is hard work - it's easier to delete a note than say "no thanks". Disappointing, but that's been my experience too. We also can't know a couples' situation. Some take extended breaks, others could be fakers, maybe the only answer mails together - who knows? Sorry you're not having good luck!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hey, guys!

 

We get a middling response rate to messages we send out. I think 80% to 90% non-response is a bit higher than what we've experienced- I'd say we are closer to 50-50.

 

The lack of response gets on our nerves as well, simply because you can't tell the difference between an unread message and a decline to engage. So we try to respond to each initial "Hi, There" email message we receive.

[two4youinswva 3,069]

It has been a long time since we've participated in online ad correspondence, but as I recall, the reply rate was similar to what you've described.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I had to look back at our mail history to see how often we had reached out to others (not very often except for our vacation in Vegas a few years ago) and it looks like most don't respond. It can be very discouraging and I guess that's why we moved away from playing the online game of finding other couples and went the easy route of going to parties and such. It is a shame that there isn't more courtesy shown in the online world but it's a lot easier to ignore people online than it is in person. All I can say is keep your chin up! You'll find some great couples out there that will make those non-responsive couples seem like a distant memory.

[kikonkrome 845]

Yeah ours has been similiar...I have been trying a different tactic and will post in another thread.

[DestinyBandJ 34]

Just throwing our $0.02 in. This is pure speculation and some may not agree with it but the way we see it is that 90% (being very lenient here) of the couples profiles online are fakes. Either they are just picture collectors or males trying to cheat on their SO. Very sad lot (we've called out two for doing the latter so far). And then there is the 8% that pull the whole bait and switch. Then there is that tiny 2% that are actually REAL COUPLES. That's generally how it goes.

 

But I suppose that doesn't answer your initial post. Yes, it seems this is pretty much a normal thing, especially when it comes to online. We're in the same boat you are. Sending off 5 messages and getting 0 responses. (I think our boat might have a hole in it )

[GoldCoCouple 4,072]

We post in our profile that we always respond just because so few do. It's just polite even if it is to say sorry but we are not interested. However, single men or people who have obviously didn't read our profile or are just trolling don't deserve any response.

[tribbles 490]

Even sending 'no thanks' costs an email and free members are limited in how many. So....are you sending mail to free members or paid members? Who responds more often or who doesn't?

[GoldCoCouple 4,072]

Good point. Still, if you want to play it's not that much to pay...

[JAPrufrock 588]

I am guilty of no response. It's hard to formulate a 'no thank you' that doesn't come off as negative. I hate the idea of hurting someone's feelings.

 

That being said, about 50% respond for us too. I think no response is typical.

 

But I have vowed that if the person honestly took the time (read the profile and sent more then a dick pick) I will respond. I have to woman up. If I can't say no online how will I be able to say no in person?

[SAMnTINA 362]

It's trues that many don't respond, some are pretenders others just lack manners. Don't take it personalty, in this like in all things you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find what you are looking for.

 

We have always made it a policy to respond to any emails but some times the answer is not interested or bad timing sorry.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

It may be that they are getting so many responses that they are overwhelmed. It might be that it would be very time consuming to reply to everyone. Even a simple no thank you generates replies from people wanting to know why which takes even more time to explain. It is simpler just not to reply. Don't take it personally. Don't feel as if you haven't gotten a reply because of something you think you might have "done wrong". Consider it their loss and move on. I'm basing this opinion on our own experiences.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Thanks for all your replies, it definitely makes me feel better that it is not just us. Just a little extra info: we don't contact free members. The 50+ demographic that we contact always responds even if it is with a polite no thanks, people of color (black, hispanic, etc) also always respond. It is unfortunately our main target area of 30s & 40s white couples that are horrible at replying to us. But I guess they are probably the highest contacted group in our area.

We also don't send a "nice profile" mail, we try to pick something out to comment on in each profile. Which sucks that we take the time to read and research compatibility make a good mail intro to just be ignored.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

...our main target area of 30s & 40s white couples that are horrible at replying to us....

 

We fall into the 30s range and now that I think about it (and I hate to admit that we probably have done it a few times ourselves) a reason why this age range might not respond as well as others is that sometimes life/work/kids sort of preoccupy the mind. For example, sometimes one of us will check the mail, tell the other, "Hey, we got a message from a couple, check it out," then if we don't get to it right away, we forget. Then weeks might go by and whoops...we forgot to check the message/profile together and respond. By then, it's just so embarrassing to reply weeks later and you aren't sure if you've already offended them. Sometimes we'll apologize for the delay and get a 50/50 response from that.

[njbm 2,932]

I don't get people who email us, ask if we would like to meet, we say yes and they don't even open our response. What is that about?

[kikonkrome 845]

I don't get people who email us, ask if we would like to meet, we say yes and they don't even open our response. What is that about?

 

Yeah we get the same, I just figure only one is into it, their assholes, or they broke up?

 

On the list of weird and creepy are the 'couples' that check out your profile everyday but don't respond to messages, etc. I always think it's somebody fapping to our pics. I guess it's pretty flattering now that I think about it.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

I don't get people who email us, ask if we would like to meet, we say yes and they don't even open our response. What is that about?

 

We get this too, I don't understand it either. I don't get the follow up questions after a polite no thanks either, we have never sent a message after we got one. I don't feel there is any need to make someone want to meet us.

 

On the other end though people shouldn't be so quick to online reject, we have had a bunch of couples who sent the no thanks meet us in person at an event and then want to get together. We have always been friendly but have never set anything up with a couple where this has happened. I guess we are a bit of grudge holders. lol (Not really though!)

[TwoFunTexans 103]

We are guilty of this. I don't care for confrontations and we've had the follow up "why?" to which I'm left stumped as to how to respond. I'd rather just fade away into the internet.

 

People do it to us and I don't care. I'm more annoyed when pictures have been exchanged early on and a week long dialog afterwards just goes silent. Hello, are you still alive out there?

[knjbow 16]

We have been pretty disappointed in trying to meet other couples. We have either got no response, or we respond and get no response. Being pretty new to this we are pretty frustrated. Recently, we received a message, responded and then they blocked us with explanation. Not sure why this is so hard.

[TwoFunTexans 103]

Knjbow, we've been there. We started talking about swinging last summer and met 4 couples before any playing occurred. There was tons of messaging going dark throughout. We are currently experiencing more abandoned lines of communication. Hang in there.

[two4youinswva 3,069]

Just looking to get a little feedback, I know that it may be different in various areas and there are many factors included. But in general do couples you reach out to respond? We would be ok to even get a polite no thanks, but so many don't even bother to do that. Let's say we send out 10 messages, 8-9 will not respond at all. Just looking to see if we are experiencing an out of the norm response.

 

OK, I perved your profile, and it looks like you two have been very successful in your first year on SLS. You have to forfeit your right to complain about online ad problems.

(Great SLS ad by the way!)