Aunt Flo showed up just in time for our first meet and greet

[JAPrufrock 588]

The menfolk here probably won't want to read this thread... It's kind of embarrassing to post it, but, well, you guys are cool so I'm hoping you won't laugh me out of the forum. Also, I couldn't really figure out where this should go...

 

My period decided to show up yesterday, and I am so pissed. We have been looking forward to going to the meet and greet, my sister is watching the kids, and we've got a hotel room and everything! Some random background. I have PCOS, so, I can probably count on my hands the amount of times I've had a natural period (without birth control or infertility treatments). So, for my body to decide, 15 years later, that it actually wants to work, on a weekend where Mr. Prufrock and I had some possibility of fun is just a freakin' slap in the face.

 

To top that off, I had an ultrasound done today (I got a period at the end of May that lasted a month and a half), and my Dr. said my lining is very thick, and that could be a sign of pre-cancer. Just to be safe they did a biopsy and I have to wait ten days to get the results. THAT was fun.

 

SO ladies(and gents if you made it this far), have you gone to functions with your (or your Mrs') Aunt Irma visiting? Is it weird to still go? Not that Mr. Prufrock and I are expecting any interest in us, especially since this is just a meet and greet. If we do go, and someone shows interest in playing that night, what do I say? I'm the kind of person who likes to be prepared, I'd rather have a response formulated and not have to use it then have to come up with something on the fly.

 

At least Mr. Prufrock doesn't care, so our after-party plans remain mainly intact (being married ROCKS.)

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I'm sorry you have PCOS. Period suck in general but when you can't even count on them to be regular or for a limited amount of time (I mean, seriously, a month and a half of it sounds like hell) one starts to wonder why us women have to put up with such crap.

 

My period has been regular for the most part and ever since using a menstrual cup, the length of time has even shortened, so I can reliably schedule our swinging times to not fall on Aunt Flo time...that's not to say that sometimes I haven't been surprised. In your case, since you are only going to a M&G, I wouldn't sweat it unless you feel terrible (cramps and all). Go, meet new people, and if anyone asks to have fun after the M&G, just let them know that you can't due to Aunt Flo. Other women will understand. If you feel uncomfortable saying "Aunt Flo", some women say they are "out of commission" or "broken". Then trade contact information and schedule something in the future.

[angelkin 1,326]

No worries! Go and have fun...meet and mingle. I used to say I was a giver, not a receiver TODAY. Some men may not care at all

[cplnuswing 4,713]

One of the things you'll notice about swingers is a sense of openness that would "feel weird" for lack of a better term if you weren't with other swingers. It's not like we're totally without filters, so don't let that scare you, but I will bet you will find yourself opening up much more to someone you just met 15 minutes ago when you are in your swinging world than you would ever do with someone you just met 15 minutes ago in your vanilla world. I suppose that openness has to do with wanting to have sex with each other

 

So, it sucks that the timing isn't working out for you, but should a situation arise, just say "it's not a good time for me" or one of the other sayings, and the other couple will totally understand and not be uncomfortable about it at all nor will they make you feel uncomfortable about it. Don't worry about it at all, just go have a good time and there will always be a next time when it comes to playing. You'll find out too that you can have an awesome and fun time without playing, and in fact, that's the best way to approach it - just go to have fun, and if that ends up including playtime, then fine, but it's not the make or break by which you judge the evening.

 

To answer your question, yes, we have gone to events during that time. If it's something where we have input into the date like meeting a couple or something, then we would try to schedule around it, but for group events, you usually don't have that luxury so you just make the best of it.

[tribbles 490]

I would bet the biopsy triggered this but it's worth it to know. Best wishes on that.

 

Just tell people. The more open you are with people, the more open they are with you.

 

We are all here stuck in bodies that don't do what we want the way we want or when we want.

[asncpl 730]

First, wishing you the best on the biopsy result. I have gone to M&G while Aunt Flo is in town. It's just meeting with people, and like others said, you can politely decline if someone asks to play after the M&G. I'd say go if you are feeling up to it. I don't get major cramps but I know some other women do.

 

And please don't feel embarrassed for talking about it on the board or about the situation. I have had Aunt Flo arrived prematurely in the middle of a party while having sex. It wasn't supposed to arrive for another week but all of a sudden the guy noticed blood on his cock and it scared the hell out of him. We had a good laugh about it afterwards. It's a normal body function and it happens. Sometimes it's a bit awkward, but most of my friends in the LS have encountered the situation one way or another. You have to decide if YOU are comfortable enough for whatever you are doing.

[Heing&Sheing 75]

You are not the only one whom Aunt Flo has suddenly decided to visit at the worst time (when playtime is scheduled). Those has happened to me twice since we started swinging a few months ago. I had a cryoablation to treat PMDD about 5 years ago. It was great for several years, hardly ever a period & then a very light short one. Now Auntie Flow has started visiting me more again, but somewhat irregularly. The first time Flo made her appearance interfering with playtime, she arrived (unexpectedly ) the day before we had a playdate planned, our 1st couple swap no less... we had already planned & been waiting weeks on this playdate. Had to put it off another week. The second time Aunt Flo interrupted planned playdate was this past week. I had my first girl/girl only playtime scheduled during the week and had planned on playing with my male FWB this weekend while Mr was working. And Hello it's Aunt Flo here to see you unexpectedly again ... Argh! Now it will be 2 more weeks before he's free to play again.

 

We don't do the party/clubs so I don't know what to say about that but seems like you have already got some great advice from others.

 

-She

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

JAPRufrock-

 

As a guy reading this thread, I want to assure you that I can take reading your post! No need to be embarrassed- us guys are familiar with menstrual issues. And as others have said, lifestyle people- men and women both, are generally more open and accepting with our lifestyle friends!

 

We've had play dates where my wife or the other woman has had an appearance from Aunt Flo, and we've dealt with it in different ways. In one case, it was late in the other woman's period, and we decided to take a chance at playing (we got lucky, in more ways than one!). In other cases, my wife was right in the middle of a heavy flow, but was able to have intercourse while using a SoftCup. Now we've also had a couple of cases where the SoftCup didn't quite hold back the Red Sea... A little embarrassing, but the guys were good sports about it- and everybody found ways to have a good time anyway!

 

My take is that you should go, meet people, even flirt a little if you like, and have fun! Maybe you'll end up find some people you'll want to get together with again sometime!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We'll add our voices to the echo chamber and say "Go have fun". Hell, club trips during a period are damn near a swingers rite of passage.

 

When it was an issue for Mrs two4you and I, she'd say "It sucks, but we can't NOT go, because we have to see our friends!".

[purple4215 55]

I have PCOS as well, I have always had fairly regular cycles, but all the other fun stuff that accompanies that...so sorry for you! Also, hope the biopsy turns out OK!! I would say still go and have fun...alot can be done even if full intercourse is off the table and alot of fun can be had!!

[Ebonylehigh 254]

I have PCOS and had the biopsy done as well, all was good and I hope the same for you. My periods are highly irregular and for the first time I had one at a play party (I had a feeling it was coming but nothing showed until after I played with my play partner!) I used a Softcup as mentioned above which as also mentioned above did not work as well as I hoped. Thankfully I was with a prior partner who was very understanding and we still had a great time. I have used the Softcup once before and I had no problems or leaks so not sure why this last time it was a bust. I played only with him and let the other males know I was "broken". Anyway I would definitely go if you are feeling up to it especially since it's just a meet and greet.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Thanks everyone for the advice. We did go to the meet and greet and it was a ton of fun, despite the fact that Aunt Flo was visiting. We'll see what happens with the biopsy. In the meantime, hopefully this won't be another month and a half long period!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I'm happy to read that you had a good time at the meet-n-greet.

[angelkin 1,326]

I, too, am glad to hear you had a good time at the M&G. Did it give you a better sense if perhaps swinging was something you'd want to explore more intently?

[JAPrufrock 588]

Good news everyone! The biopsy came back normal, now I just have to take extra hormones to make sure I have a nice heavy period. OH BOY!

 

Did it give you a better sense if perhaps swinging was something you'd want to explore more intently?

 

Funny you should ask that. I was surprised, there was no one there I could see myself actually having sex with. I don't know if it was the nerves or what. With the adrenaline crash mixed with alcohol, I just felt afterwards like I wanted to crawl under a rock and never talk to anyone ever again. But, the next day, with some perspective and a healthy dose of communication I felt better about it. I think, for me, the biggest hurdle is putting myself out there. Talking to people. Making myself vulnerable. It's difficult when you're in a room full of people looking to have sex, and you feel like no one's interested in you. So...I don't want to stop looking into it, but I'm definitely not ready for a full swap yet!

 

Edit: it surprised me that there was no one there I could see myself having sex with simply because there were lots of people there I found attractive. Which I found to be really weird, if that makes any sense.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

That's great news on the test results, so happy for you now that weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

 

I think that's normal to feel that way, you basically were in fight or flight mode and it's hard to feel horny when you feel so out of sorts. Just from reading your posts, I suspect you might be the type that needs some level of connection first, more the friends first variety of swinging versus the once and done approach. We've done both, but we naturally lean a bit toward the friends side and we feel more comfortable when we feel like we have gotten to know them at least a little. That doesn't have to be hours and hours of heartfelt conversation, but something more than shouting over the music "hey, would you like to go play?" Everyone finds the style that works best for them; you'll find yours too, that's what putting yourself out there and experiencing it is all about.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I'm so glad to hear that the biopsy was normal.

[tribbles 490]

I'm so glad the test was good!

 

 

The rest you can work out at whatever pace makes you comfy. Slow is always good.