First full swap ... great for one and not so much for the other

[edoycaro 28]

Hello,

 

First of all, I'm sorry if I have some writing problems, since english isn't my first language

 

After some mfm, last night we had our first swap with another couple. We were planning just having dinner to meet each other at their house, but we felt really comfortable with them and started playing.

 

I had a great time with the wife at the living room, and Caro went to another room with him. Since it was our first time with a couple I was worried about her, but by the moanings we heard we thought that they were having a good time also.

 

When we left Caro told me that he was talking all the time about me doing it to his wife and how Caro felt about it. He was having problems with his erection and she felt that he was focussing on what was happening on the living room and not in her. The moanings we heard was the only time when he was doing oral on Caro, but after that he kept jacking off next to her.

 

After all, we had a great time talking, I have a great time with the wife, but Caro didn't enjoy her time with the husband. I guess that happens all the time, but what do you think about it? Does it worth talking with him and giving a second chance or it will be like this time forever?

 

Thanks for your time, it was longer that I expected.

 

See you,

 

Edo

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

Welcome to the real world. The anticipation and expectation almost always exceeds the actual event. There is everything right about someone being concerned that their spouse is safe and having a good time...but it can overshadow the experience with the person in front of you. This is one reason why we like limits on what we'll do on a first meeting. It gives both couples time to reflect, imagine, deal with the trust issues and ask if they are enthusiastic about seeing the couple again. The issue here seems to be that the other couple hadn't really worked through their thoughts and the other husband was projecting those concerns. It's worth asking them what his issues were and whether they are now resolved. And ask Caro what she wants.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

That exact thing happened to us, several times, when we first got started. We very nearly quit swinging because of it, and even though we didn't totally quit, it did throw a damper on it. What finally turned that around was her having several good experiences that she really enjoyed where she felt everything was equal, meaning that the other male's interest in swinging, and with her, was because he wanted to have sex with other women, and not because his primary goal was to get off on watching his wife get fucked by someone else, and to do that, then he needed to be part of it too.

 

There's nothing wrong with actively enjoying seeing your spouse get pleasured, we enjoy it too. But, it's not our main reason for swinging, it's just a little extra icing on the cake, and we don't get diverted by it.

 

Swinging is a lot like many things, all the planning in the world doesn't totally eliminate some luck being involved. You can hit a lucky streak where everything goes fantastically, and you can hit a string of bad luck where several times in a row things don't go as well as you hoped. When that bad luck string comes early, it's tough to not get discouraged. Hopefully, that will be just a one time event for you and not a string of bad luck, but no matter what, just know that it does get better, it's not always like that.

[kikonkrome 844]

Not really that uncommon for us either. It's his first time and he's not into his significant other getting off with another partner.

 

We have never had a repeat with those partners.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

It took the third time with our first full swap play partners (first swing experience period) for my husband to actually have intercourse with his play partner. They were an older, understanding and patient couple. I believe by the third time he was comfortable enough with not only his play partner but the act of us swinging in general. They had an amazing time then and we continued seeing/playing with them for some time. My husband has had only a few random failure to launch situations since then.

 

It's also happened with my play partner (of another new couple) and we kept seeing them and after the first time the guy was able to get up.

[edoycaro 28]

Thanks for your comments, we are still not sure if we want to play with them again. We have a great feeling talking and having similar interests and experiences and maybe the first time was also difficult for him. But it was also our first time and we want to have a great time both of us.

 

It's great to know that other couples had the same experience, we'll try to figure out what will be our next step.