Planning and Playing

[Lionheart72 2,191]

My Friend and I hooked up last night, which was fun... gods, was it ever fun... but something happened which got me to thinking.

 

A couple of days before, we chatted online and came up with a game plan. She's into sexual role play and enjoys some pretty rough stuff, which is a thing I've been wanted to explore. However, when a session is that physically and emotionally intense, I like to have a outline going in, so we know what is and isn't on the table, everyone is on the same page, etc. The BDSM community talks about "negotiating a scene" which I guess is what we're doing.

 

Anyway, we spent probably two hours planning out our "script" in what, by the end, probably amounted to cybersex. Which was fun. When we got together we were both pretty excited and after a fairly perfunctory "so how was your week" we dove right into the sex... about 20-30 minutes of passionate, vigorous, wild, kinky sex which left us both completely spent. Afterward I found myself wondering - which did we enjoy more - the two hours of planning or the 20 minutes of wild sex? My Friend said that she got off harder on the planning but came more times during the actual act, so it balanced out for her.

 

So, beyond the "I just had great sex with a beautiful young woman" element of this post ('cause, yeah, I'm totally going there ), I'm wondering about other folks who have had a similar experience where, while the sex was fun, the planning and anticipation was it's own complete different pleasure.

[intuition897 2,179]

I don't know if it's a female thing or what, but if you really want to get a woman cranked up, you have got to engage her mentally. Lube doesn't work as a shortcut. For me, mental engagement is probably about 80-90% of the pleasure of the encounter. Honestly, I enjoy the tease of possibility, flirtation, innuendo, the prospect of exploring a new person, the seductive challenge, having all your senses alert, the nervousness and sweaty palms... Oh man, I love having butterflies in my stomach. Even being made to blush...just a little. Yes, it's possible to make me blush. But I prefer to make others do it. For me, most of my pleasure comes not from an orgasm - which is just a pleasant by-product, a nice cherry on top - but from the..."courtship" ritual, if you will, that leads up to it.

[angelkin 1,326]

Dabbling in BDSM with my SO, we've also enjoyed the discussion and planning of a scene. Because we work opposite shifts, much mental foreplay happens throughout the week via text and erotic pictures.

 

I am much the planner and struggle with creativity and sticking with the 'script', but when I throw myself into it, I can get quite crafty and worked up in the preparation. I wish there was a site with ideas for scenes :/

[Lionheart72 2,191]

I wish there was a site with ideas for scenes :/

 

Hell, yeah... baring that, it would make a hell of thread topic (or topics).

[angelkin 1,326]

I think it's a great idea...I'll post mine if you post yours

 

EDIT: Here's the idea thread

BDSM Scene Ideas

[asncpl 730]

Having been in the BDSM scene for a while now, I actually enjoy planning scenes but I also enjoy the unscripted scenes now as I get more experience. With the unscripted scenes, we still discuss what activities to do, like caning or electric play, and perhaps a roleplay like interrogation scene. But as the sub, I don't know what's coming. The sense of anticipation during play, not knowing what's coming up, is a huge turn-on for me. More so when you add blindfolds.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

As with most everything that we have experienced, sometimes the planning of something is way hotter than the actual event and sometimes the actual event is way hotter than the planning...and every once in awhile, planning the event is super hot and then the event is also super hot. Sometimes it's the anticipation, other times its the action, but it's best when it's both.

 

BTW, every now and then the planning and event are 'ehhh.

[Bob250 74]

Anticipation is a HUGE aphrodisiac. I once played with a couple from Canada, and for about a week prior to our meeting up, we contacted each other to plan the weekend, with the wife (who is really hot) sending me dirty pics, with descriptions of what she was going to do to me. By the time we met, I was in an almost constant state of arousal.

 

However, there's a lot to be said for spontaneous combustion, as well.