I don't like other men's cum

[Bob250 74]

Since I have come to the Board about an Issue I'm having with my GF, I might as well attempt to address another issue I have about the LS. I would appreciate any help I can get. The issue is that I dislike dealing with another guys cum.

 

Some background. I entered the LS for a brief time, after my divorce, in order to have some NSA sex with some people who invited me. I had not had a very diverse sex life, my wife was only the 5th or 6th woman I had fucked. Come to find out that I am very good at it, and have had a LOT of requests for repeats, and word of mouth invites from other couples and other swingers. I've had MFM threesomes and a few gangbangs, but I always make sure that I am either the first into a hole, or the only one to cum in it, so I don't have to touch any body else's spunk.

 

How do other men deal with this?

 

BTW, I don't have any problem with other guys dealing with MY cum, so I know that I am employing a double standard.

[angelkin 1,326]

I don't think your point of view is unique. It sounds as though you are engaging partners who don't use condoms on a regular basis, is there a possibility of changing that aspect of play? Maybe you just continue to deal with it the way you have been, be first if there are multiple partners involved in an evening.

 

I can say that when I was enjoying multiple partners, there was condom use and men were invited to finish on me instead of in me.

[kikonkrome 844]

err...everyone uses condoms...one of the unexpected things that I experienced in a group situation was, frankly, tasting everybody's spit on certain body parts.

[Bob250 74]

OMG!!! Thanks!!!! Now I've got another thing to worry about! I hadn't even thought about saliva. Double queasy.

[Bob250 74]

Oh, condoms are used, alright, but I don't like to cum in them. I would prefer to cum on or in my partner. Trouble is, a lot of other guys feel the same, so there is a possibility of contact. Which freaks me out.

[PleasingHer 52]

I'm not a fan of foreign jizz but if it was messing with my mojo I would just grab a towel or dish rag.

If the girl's desire is to have lots of jizz on her, then that's another issue. I can't decide if seeing cum all over her would be hot or creepy. I'm gonna go with hot for now and just try to avoid touching it

[Heing&Sheing 75]

As a woman, I don't like cum on me, as in shot on my chest face or elsewhere, but I am fine with it in me or in my mouth. Weird huh, lol. If I couldn't have it in me I'd prefer it in a condom. Hubby doesn't like cum, wouldn't do oral with another's cum in me (his is fine though) but will fuck me after another man has cummed in me. Everyone is different & if you don't like it, just hold out until you find a couple that feels the same or will abide by your boundaries.

-She

[Bob250 74]

This is usually what I do. I try to make it clear that I don't want to touch somebody else's jizz, but accidents do happen. I once played with a couple and the H had premature ejaculation issues, which they didn't tell me about , beforehand. I was fucking the wife doggy and the H came on her back and some of it splashed on my arm. That ended that. It took me about 2 milliseconds to get to the bathroom to wash.

[2aussies 51]

Frankly I don't see the problem. It's just liquid. We've had 3sums where the other guy's cum splashes on me and I'm okay with that.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

I don't have any problems with another man's sperm in the mix. I really don't understand? Is this an STD issue or more along the lines of homophobia or competitiveness? Just trying to relate...

 

What about this situation: Say if I was there with both of you and I put one hand on your partner's breast and my other on your shoulder, would that be gross or distracting to you?

[JAPrufrock 588]

So, I can see why it bothers you. I'm not a huge fan of spit-swapping (thanks kikonkrome!), but the way I see it, is that the activities you are taking part in have a very large chance of putting you in contact with cum, and other such bodily fluids. So you can do one of three things: decide to stop doing the things you're doing so that you'll never ever have to deal with another man's cum, alter your play to require condoms or don't include other men to greatly reduce the risk of cum contact, or create coping mechanisms to help you get over it or at least become desensitized to it.

 

For instance, in your above scenario. You could have wiped it off on the bedspread, and tried to finish what you were doing. Maybe think about how it's not much different from a woman's natural vaginal lubrications, it just came from a dude. Or the fact that your skin is an awesome barrier (provided you don't mess with it) and that it will just wash off. Or pretend your arm doesn't exist (that actually works, I did that every time I had to have blood drawn.)

 

Personally, while I don't want it in my mouth, I LOVE the idea of other men coming in me or on me one after another. It's probably biological, but if pregnancy and STI's weren't a risk, I'd be all about it. I'll have to ask Mr. Prufrock how he feels about it.

[benawyl 35]

I don't have any problems with another man's sperm in the mix. I really don't understand? Is this an STD issue or more along the lines of homophobia or competitiveness? Just trying to relate...

 

What about this situation: Say if I was there with both of you and I put one hand on your partner's breast and my other on your shoulder, would that be gross or distracting to you?

 

Yes if you touched me the evening would end right there.

 

And as nice and calm as I am if a guy came on me I'd probably hit him.

 

Like I said I require condoms as soon as shorts come off. So for me or my partner to get hit with something it'd have to be intentional.

[intuition897 2,179]

We have played bareback with one couple, and it wasn't a problem. Mr. intuition isn't homophobic at all, nor is he squeamish about body fluids (as long as everyone is healthy, of course!). Would he avoid kissing me after blowing another guy? Hell no. He doesn't have a cream pie fetish or a thing for "sharing" another guy's cum while kissing me or anything like that; he just doesn't mind body fluids. It's sex. It happens. And if it's good enough for his wife to be expected to deal with some other guy's cum on or in her body, why should he be all weird about it?

 

I'm interested to know, too, what it is about other mens' cum that bothers everyone so much.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Wife is driving the car, not much else for me to do as passenger, so I asked her if any guys she knows express a concern about being the "first" of the evening.

 

Her answer surprised me. So, Bob, you are apparently not the only guy who thinks about this.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Talked to Mr. Prufrock. He said he'd prefer to be first, but it wouldn't weird him out if he isn't. Extra lube.

[eruditesdw 29]

Soon as the other man cums in my wife I go in and cum also. She loves it.

[DestinyBandJ 34]

Yes if you touched me the evening would end right there.

 

And as nice and calm as I am if a guy came on me I'd probably hit him.

 

This right here sounds like you're setting yourself up to fail in the lifestyle. At least in our opinion. And quite frankly this sounds very homophobic.

Let me add this edit in, if you're using condoms yea the guy would have to do it intentionally, but you know as well as any guy here, unless there is something to stop your cum, that thing will go flying up, down, left, right or any of those directions combined. We've certainly seen it happen.

 

Also to OP just saying this whole thread sounds a little off. I am still not totally understanding it. Are you playing with someone elses missus? If so and the hubby nuts in her first you would be offended because you didn't get first dibs? As much as I'd like to put in a some helpful information here, I'd suggest taking the advice one of the other posters gave you and just avoid group play or just play only with females. Maybe we misread it.

[benawyl 35]

This right here sounds like you're setting yourself up to fail in the lifestyle. At least in our opinion. And quite frankly this sounds very homophobic.

Let me add this edit in, if you're using condoms yea the guy would have to do it intentionally, but you know as well as any guy here, unless there is something to stop your cum, that thing will go flying up, down, left, right or any of those directions combined. We've certainly seen it happen.

 

Also to OP just saying this whole thread sounds a little off. I am still not totally understanding it. Are you playing with someone else's missus? If so and the hubby nuts in her first you would be offended because you didn't get first dibs? As much as I'd like to put in a some helpful information here, I'd suggest taking the advice one of the other posters gave you and just avoid group play or just play only with females. Maybe we misread it.

 

How am I setting myself up for a fail?

 

The condom will stop all fluids so I don't see an issue there.

 

Is there an issue with me not wanting any male contact at all? Or is there an issue with the fact I won't do MFM? I'll do FMF but I don't think I'll ever do MFM.

[Bob250 74]

To suggest that I am homophobic because I don't want to touch another man's junk is preposterous and, frankly a bit offensive. I don't want to touch another man's blood or urine , either, so does that make me homophobic? Apparently to the small minded, it does. I don't like black licorice, does that make me racist? Some of you posters need to try to understand cause and effect a little better.

Indeed, if we were talking about blood, instead of cum, there would be many more who would agree with me.

[MrDiscover 802]

Not if you were on a board focusing on a hobby where bleeding was very often the result of fun.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Which do you like less, cumming in a condom or touching another guys cum? Pick one and then cope with the consequences. Seems obvious to me.

[JAPrufrock 588]

I think that there are probably a lot of guys who are skeeved out by touching another dude's cum. Apparently they're not on this board, though. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way and knowing your boundaries, but your extreme reaction to it kind of leads me to think that Lionheart's suggestion is the way to go. You can mention before play that you want to be the first, and maybe everyone will be ok with that, but it may come off as kinda selfish, and since there are other men who probably feel that way, you two may just have to choose your own respective orifice to come in. Maybe do Rock Paper Scissors?

[CB&DD 218]

Never considered playing paper rock scissors to decide where I was going to finish. Lol, that made my morning. Who knows, maybe that's the next new orgy or gangbang game waiting to be perfected.

[Bob250 74]

I agree, Prufrock. I also must say that my experiences are limited. I have been involved in very few threesomes, and most of them required condoms. Most of the time, I have either played with the wives in another room, or the husband did not directly participate, but was an onlooker. The two or three times that the wife would specifically ask for the men to cum on her, or in her (face, tits, etc) are what I have the most qualms about.

[Bob250 74]

Never considered playing paper rock scissors to decide where I was going to finish. Lol, that made my morning. Who knows, maybe that's the next new orgy or gangbang game waiting to be perfected.

Perhaps I need to make sure that I have plenty of condoms and wet-wipes on hand, the next time I am active in the LS? LOL

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Perhaps I need to make sure that I have plenty of condoms and wet-wipes on hand, the next time I am active in the LS? LOL

 

You laugh, but we always do... we've got a bag with toys, lube, condoms, wipes, breath mints and a few other things that we always bring with us.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

We have a play bag as well and all above plus facial sponges we use as washcloths, soap, my makeup bag, Neosporin, band aids, body spray, deodorant. lol it is a full bag.

[Shore2Please 610]

Prior to being with our first couple my husband would want to be near his own cum. We never discussed it, he would never give me oral after he came in me. He never deep kissed after a blow job. Like I said we never talked about it. On my first night with the couple we met the husband never had that problem. I enjoyed the extra treat with him without worrying about cleaning myself. Our new friend didn't even hesitate with his wife after my husband was with her.

 

We just did our first 3some with him and I had my first dp and I know there was dripping onto my husband. He didn't make a big deal but did go and wash after.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Bob250, you're comfortable with what you're comfortable with...and that happens to be not touching other men's ejaculation. We've played with a man that specifically wouldn't kiss me after giving him a blowjob, then Mr. Sun, and then back to him. He stopped me from kissing him and asked me to use mouthwash. Did it put a damper on the mood? Yeah, but he just happened to be damned lucky that I had the crazy hots for him. If it were another guy, I wouldn't ask for a repeat. But that's just me.

 

I also have to concur with Lionheart's advice, which is the lesser of two evils: ejaculating in a condom or touching another man's bodily fluids? The majority of our MFM threesomes have been with one man and he doesn't have a problem at all with me going back to forth between him and Mr. Sun. And he has no problems using a condom all the time. If we are feeling up for a MFM, he's at the top of the list because of his easy-going attitude. Anyone who makes things more complicated, be it rules or otherwise, they go lower and lower on the list.

 

I'm not saying the above to make you feel bad but that's just how it is for us. Keep in mind that the majority of men can't even fathom sharing their partner with another man, much less be in the same room naked with another naked man. If anything, you're part of the majority of men who don't want anything to do with another man in any sexual terms.

[JAPrufrock 588]

The two or three times that the wife would specifically ask for the men to cum on her, or in her (face, tits, etc) are what I have the most qualms about.

 

If she asks everyone to come on her, step back and wait for the other people/person to come, and then maybe finish last? That might keep you out of the 'ejaculate zone.'

[intuition897 2,179]

If she asks everyone to come on her, step back and wait for the other people/person to come, and then maybe finish last? That might keep you out of the 'ejaculate zone.'

 

I just got a visual of the splash zone at Sea World.

[Bob250 74]

You laugh, but we always do... we've got a bag with toys, lube, condoms, wipes, breath mints and a few other things that we always bring with us.

I'm only half laughing. Actually this is a really good idea, and if I am ever involved in the LS again, I will make up a "party kit" just like yours.

[Bob250 74]

Bob250, you're comfortable with what you're comfortable with...and that happens to be not touching other men's ejaculation. We've played with a man that specifically wouldn't kiss me after giving him a blowjob, then Mr. Sun, and then back to him. He stopped me from kissing him and asked me to use mouthwash. Did it put a damper on the mood? Yeah, but he just happened to be damned lucky that I had the crazy hots for him. If it were another guy, I wouldn't ask for a repeat. But that's just me.

 

I also have to concur with Lionheart's advice, which is the lesser of two evils: ejaculating in a condom or touching another man's bodily fluids? The majority of our MFM threesomes have been with one man and he doesn't have a problem at all with me going back to forth between him and Mr. Sun. And he has no problems using a condom all the time. If we are feeling up for a MFM, he's at the top of the list because of his easy-going attitude. Anyone who makes things more complicated, be it rules or otherwise, they go lower and lower on the list.

 

I'm not saying the above to make you feel bad but that's just how it is for us. Keep in mind that the majority of men can't even fathom sharing their partner with another man, much less be in the same room naked with another naked man. If anything, you're part of the majority of men who don't want anything to do with another man in any sexual terms.

I don't have a problem with being around naked guys, after all I have been in the service, and have played numerous sports, so that isn't it. I hope that you can distinguish between being naked with somebody, and having their body fluids on you. Two entirely different things. As far as sharing your partner, I have no idea about that as I have always been single while playing.

[Bob250 74]

If she asks everyone to come on her, step back and wait for the other people/person to come, and then maybe finish last? That might keep you out of the 'ejaculate zone.'

Absolutely. As with firearms, never point the end with the hole in it, anywhere you don't intend to shoot.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I don't have a problem with being around naked guys, after all I have been in the service, and have played numerous sports, so that isn't it. I hope that you can distinguish between being naked with somebody, and having their body fluids on you. Two entirely different things. As far as sharing your partner, I have no idea about that as I have always been single while playing.

 

And it's two entirely different things to want to be in the Lifestyle and actually being able to do so. I'm sure a lot of people are more than happy to be non-monogamous but the reality of it is too much for them. Many singles swing as singles but once they are a couple, they couldn't imagine sharing. Many men want to be able to swing but their heads play mind games and they can't achieve an erection. How many want to have sex with others but don't want to share their spouse with others due to jealousy or insecurity? Is it possible for all of these groups to swing? Yes, just like yourself but you have to then accommodate how you swing to your peculiarities and qualms. Finding suitable playmates is hard enough but when you add more and more parameters (only with straight male couples who don't like incidental contact and don't want to touch your ejaculation and you for his, and etc.) it narrows it even further.

 

To be honest, it sounds like your "threesomes" were more one-on-ones with married women...and that's fine because there are couples who prefer those situations but I would like to think that's more in the cuckold community. We prefer situations where everyone plays and has fun. I can snap my fingers and have a man over here to have sex with me without Mr. Sun but I don't because what fun is there in it if he isn't also having fun?

 

So, either continue to do one-on-ones without any husband participation, learn to always ejaculate in a condom when playing with others so you don't have that double standard, or find a way to be okay with having some other man's semen on your body on accident.

[Bob250 74]

And it's two entirely different things to want to be in the Lifestyle and actually being able to do so. I'm sure a lot of people are more than happy to be non-monogamous but the reality of it is too much for them. Many singles swing as singles but once they are a couple, they couldn't imagine sharing. Many men want to be able to swing but their heads play mind games and they can't achieve an erection. How many want to have sex with others but don't want to share their spouse with others due to jealousy or insecurity? Is it possible for all of these groups to swing? Yes, just like yourself but you have to then accommodate how you swing to your peculiarities and qualms. Finding suitable playmates is hard enough but when you add more and more parameters (only with straight male couples who don't like incidental contact and don't want to touch your ejaculation and you for his, and etc.) it narrows it even further.

 

To be honest, it sounds like your "threesomes" were more one-on-ones with married women...and that's fine because there are couples who prefer those situations but I would like to think that's more in the cuckold community. We prefer situations where everyone plays and has fun. I can snap my fingers and have a man over here to have sex with me without Mr. Sun but I don't because what fun is there in it if he isn't also having fun?

 

So, either continue to do one-on-ones without any husband participation, learn to always ejaculate in a condom when playing with others so you don't have that double standard, or find a way to be okay with having some other man's semen on your body on accident.

Or....how about the polite alternative, and everybody respect the boundaries of the other people. I only shoot when and where I am asked to. I expect the same consideration from others.

[Bob250 74]

As for your judgmental comments on my participation in the LS, permit me to say that I disagree with your assessment, but would like to ask why you feel the urge to judge a perfect stranger?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Please know that I am only advising you on what information you provide:

 

As for your judgmental comments on my participation in the LS, permit me to say that I disagree with your assessment, but would like to ask why you feel the urge to judge a perfect stranger?

 

I also must say that my experiences are limited. I have been involved in very few threesomes, and most of them required condoms. Most of the time, I have either played with the wives in another room, or the husband did not directly participate, but was an onlooker. The two or three times that the wife would specifically ask for the men to cum on her, or in her (face, tits, etc) are what I have the most qualms about.

 

To me, a threesome is where everyone is participating. Having one person in a totally different room or watching is not active participation. It is not a judgement about whether I think it's bad or good; I just don't see that as a threesome. From what I have seen of men who post here when their wives have sex with another man without them, it is usually in conjunction with cuckolding. Again, that's not a bad or good thing. That's what works for them but for terminology sake, it's not a threesome.

 

Or....how about the polite alternative, and everybody respect the boundaries of the other people. I only shoot when and where I am asked to. I expect the same consideration from others.

 

Absolutely, you let the other person or couple know what you like and dislike. If you dislike another man's semen anywhere near you, you are in charge of telling them that before any play occurs. From there, they can decide if they are willing to work around your rules or not. Just like any other meet-up between singles-couples or couples-couples. We have a strict condoms-only rule and we are upfront about it. If another couple is adamant about bareback play, we don't engage them any further. That is what you need to prepare yourself if this is a strict no-semen-anywhere-near-me rule. They also have the right to decline play with you based on what you and they themselves are comfortable with. Just as those of us who have no issue with bodily fluids expect the same consideration of our feelings about the matter.

[fun4Ds 1,098]

To suggest that I am homophobic because I don't want to touch another man's junk is preposterous and, frankly a bit offensive. I don't want to touch another man's blood or urine , either, so does that make me homophobic? Apparently to the small minded, it does. I don't like black licorice, does that make me racist? Some of you posters need to try to understand cause and effect a little better.

Indeed, if we were talking about blood, instead of cum, there would be many more who would agree with me.

 

If your accusing me of calling you anything, I just asked a few questions to understand better. No offense meant. Your response, to me anyhow, implies you just find semen from another man (Bugger Gross) or along that line, Right ? If so, I would exit also if someone sneezed and a big snot wad landed on me ! But you asked how others deal with the issue of another mans sperm contact. Not sure, really. Other than when another man is involved with us, I am hoping he gets off, I hope we all do, wife included. It's a harmony thing for me...

[Sophy 569]

I do love cum but my husband doesn't, we have had a couple of situations where he has gotten "splashed" by the other guy and that is a big nono for him

[Yourfunfriends 44]

For me it's a non-issue. As long as i trust that the other guy is clean, i don't have any issue with someone else's semen. 

[Numex 2,409]

On 8/9/2015 at 3:34 PM, JAPrufrock said:

Talked to Mr. Prufrock. He said he'd prefer to be first, but it wouldn't weird him out if he isn't. Extra lube.

I prefer to be second, not because I like the other guy's semen, but because I like being excited while he's fucking her, whether it's my wife or some other woman.  The excitement of watching my wife having sex with another man is way more intense before I've blown my load than afterwards.  When they've finished, my wife is relaxing from an orgasm or two, is full of cum, and still wants me, makes me unbelievably hard.  Going in and wallowing around in the slop is further arousing because all I can think of is how sexual my wife is. 

 

If I go first, after orgasming watching my wife having intercourse is interesting, but more of an intellectual event.  I'm calm and temporarily depleted. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,384]

Don't judge us but we prefer to play bareback so cum from all men involved flows pretty freely and gets almost everywhere.  It's a natural outcome of having sex and if it grosses you out at first it won't after a while and neither of us have any problem coming into contact with the stuff regardless of whose it is.

We should point out that std testing is a prerequisite for us.  That keeps our circle very small but also very safe.

[Numex 2,409]

6 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

That keeps our circle very small but also very safe.

That is the approach we have settled upon as well, a group of married couples who all play bareback.  We have sworn a solemn oath not to play outside our group, even with condoms, unless you leave the group sexually, until again restricting yourself and several rounds of testing.  As of yet, no one has left; there's plenty enough variety and activity within the group, so the need to and likelihood of cheating is low.

[christnthms 326]

Not that I'm immensely experienced, but...

I don't care about my own jizz. I think NOT kissing a woman after she's blown me would be rather rude. Likewise, just because I finished doesn't mean that she may not want some more attention. It doesn't have to be oral, but if asked I try to oblige. 

 

I definitely don't do oral after another guy cums inside her. Just my limit. It isn't gross or anything. It just kills the mood for me. But putting my dick there is fine, and having her suck me after is fine, and me kissing her after that is fine... 

...so yeah, there's no hard logic there. I know, intellectually, that at the end of a hot night, there has been transfer all over. But I just don't want to be aware of it, and one degree of separation is sufficient. 

[hotwife70 593]

I don't mind at all. As a matter of fact, I did join a couple times with few of my buddies to a sex escort girl and I was the last one to fuck her creampie cunt (none of us wore condoms and there were 6 of us). A little gross out to the sperm smell but feel super slippery once inside her pussy and I couldn't hold for long. Overall, I enjoyed it.