Our first meet and greet!

[JAPrufrock 588]

We decided to go to the meet and greet after all. I wrote a blog post about it if anyone is interested in how it went (it was too long to fit in this post.) The Introvert's Guide to a Meet and Greet.

 

Although it was overall a positive experience, If there are any other introverted swingers out there, does interaction with strangers get any better? Any advice?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

First, let me say that you should be a comedy writer! That blog post was very entertaining, and it makes me want to meet you- and I'm way the hell over in Baltimore!

 

So, based on your blog post, we know there's a funny, interesting, charming couple under those introvert suits. It's just a matter of coaxing those people out and giving them the confidence to be themselves.

 

The Mrs. and I did not start out as particularly gregarious people, and we still struggle a bit in a room full of strangers. But it did get easier with experience! Swingers are a very people-friendly group, which makes it somewhat less risky to put yourself out there. With more practice, I think you will find that it gets a little more comfortable.

 

If you try to find something that your conversation partner is into, and ask them questions about it, then you can get them to do more of the talking! Listen with interest, contribute with relevant comments, and the other couple will remember meeting you as a positive experience. And if you are anywhere near as funny in person as you are in writing, people will consider it a treat to have met you!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

OK, you're blog entry is pretty much awesome, and I know a lot of folks can relate to many of the things you felt and experienced.

 

As an introvert, I can say that over time, it does get much easier interacting with strangers. I can't say it gets "easy", but after a while, it's not so bad. I think the key is, you meet a couple of couples (Like Mr ExtroNerd), make a bit of a connection, then they introduce you to a few other people. The next event, you go in the door, and see people you "know". You get to start the night with those people as your base, so it feels a bit more comfortable already. With comfort comes confidence.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I'll second that, that was an awesome post So funny and so so appropriate, probably more than you will ever know - we said some of those exact same words to each other our first time too!

 

Two4you is right, for us quiet introverted types, it does get better. It's not like we suddenly can flip a switch from who we are and become life of the party extroverts in our swinging lives, but with practice and most importantly, comfort level, it does start to feel less intimidating and more natural to be in that type of group social environment. He's right too about having a base. You see faces you recognize, or barring that, even the venue itself is familiar to you, and so you have at least something familiar to hold onto and don't totally feel like you are a fish out of water anymore.

[PleasingHer 52]

Great blog post.

I always wonder what's going through people's mind for a meet and greet. I'm super nerdy as we'll and a natural introvert. I can be difficult to carry conversation but I let the excitement of a potential connection keep me going. Sometimes you hit it off, most times it's a big flop. Best not to dwell on flops and just be yourself.

Don't worry about being a nervous deer in the headlights. Your in a room full of strangers Looking to get naked with each Other. That's an awkward start for any conversation. Just follow up with those you made some sort of connection with.

I'd highly recommend not driving so far for meet and greets. The odds of a good connection are low so that's alot of gas and money for possibly nothing.

Keep your chin up girl and keep writing. The lifestyle needs more candid newbies telling their inner thoughts

[angelkin 1,326]

So glad you went! Thanks for sharing your story, I was amused - like the others, I recall all those feelings during my first event

 

Since you mention you're in Columbus, there's private-ish parties held at Princeton too...parties held upstairs in their VIP area. I'd suggest you look into those on their website

[JAPrufrock 588]

Thank you all so much for the compliments! I haven't written anything in a while, so it was fun to write, especially since I had something to write about. Sadly, radio silence from Mr. ExtroNerd and Attractive Wife. They live pretty far away and are childless, so that's not much of a surprise. We just sent them a quick text on Sunday saying we had a good time and thanking them for making us feel welcome, not really expecting a reply. To be honest, Mr. ExtroNerd was a bit intimidating, and neither Mr. Prufrock nor I really felt a physical spark there. Still, it would have been nice to just have a connection.

 

As to driving so far, it's really only about an hour and a half away, but my sister was watching the kids and she lives an hour and a half the opposite direction. We didn't expect anything except having a good evening without the kids, and that's what we got. Going out of town kind of made it special, but we probably won't be doing it again. The other issue is, as far as I can tell, there are no meet and greets like that in Columbus.

 

Angelkin, do you mean separate groups that rent the VIP area? There's a party that L3 is putting on in the VIP area on August 7th and we're going to try our darnedest to be there. (I figure, I may feel more comfortable if I know that there will be other larger people there for sure, less insecure.)

 

I actually have no problem talking to people. I talk when I'm nervous. A lot. Mr. Prufrock swears I'm natural and not at all crazy sounding, or annoying, but inside my head I slightly panic and then AFTER the conversation I replay it over and over in my head and convince myself that I was a complete and total idiot.

 

For example, with the above Mr. ExtroNerd and AW, I feel like I monopolized them. Like, hung on to them or something, but Mr. Prufrock reminded me that they could have excused themselves and gone over to a different couple at any time (Mr. ExtroNerd did so a few times), so if they did feel cornered it was their own fault, since we definitely did not follow them around.

 

Poor Mr. Prufrock has the opposite problem. He couldn't hear anything anyone was saying, (sensory overload with the loud music) and he's the type of person to keep his mouth shut unless he can say something that will entertain the whole room. He's hilarious when he's comfortable with people. When Mr. ExtroNerd took me back to the hosts to exchange the card, Mr. Prufrock told me he and the woman he was left with stared at each other awkwardly the whole time. After that I told him my signature move: find something you genuinely like about the other person and compliment them. Be it accessories, or a feature, or something they mentioned in conversation.

 

Anyways, the whole thing is a learning process, right?

[angelkin 1,326]

Yes, the L3 party would be one example...sounds like you found the parties section. I wish I could say we'd be there, but we only have weekends together, so the time is spent alone together most often. If you go, have fun!! Lots of dancing, lots of flirting.

 

My experience at L3

 

Beware of men there with a "ticket", i.e. coming as a couple, but participating as singles (mostly they are FWB, not committed). Also know that IMHO, that party has a fair share of creepy guys who think overweight women are easy sexual targets.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

You're right about the music, forgot to warn you about that, sorry. Music is a double-edged sword at clubs and parties. When it's too much, we complain about that, but we've been to them too where the music sucks and is boring, and then we complain about that since it kind of kills the vibe.

 

I don't hear well on one side, so when we go to clubs, I think about 90% of my communication is doing the "smile and nod" while hoping like hell they aren't telling you that their beloved family pet just died. You can usually read the body language though, and sometimes I suspect they are feeling the same way - just two happy swinger bobbleheads smiling and nodding at each other at close range with no idea of that the other is exactly saying

[JAPrufrock 588]

Yes, the L3 party would be one example...sounds like you found the parties section. I wish I could say we'd be there, but we only have weekends together, so the time is spent alone together most often. If you go, have fun!! Lots of dancing, lots of flirting.

 

My experience at L3

 

Beware of men there with a "ticket", i.e. coming as a couple, but participating as singles (mostly they are FWB, not committed). Also know that IMHO, that party has a fair share of creepy guys who think overweight women are easy sexual targets.

 

Thanks for the heads up, we're not planning on full swap yet. Maybe soft swap if we feel comfortable, but really, our first time will probably be a reconnaissance mission. And it's totally ok that you'd rather spend your limited together time... together! I appreciate the sentiment, maybe someday we can meet up