Should there be a minimum time of conversation before engaging in sex?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

We've hosted a few times at our house--with couples and singles. Sometimes it would be after meeting at a vanilla club and other times it was a "Come over and have sex!" The latter situations were with singles. However, a recent thread made me realize that once we bring people home, the majority of the time, we either spend a few minutes chatting on the couch then show them the bedroom or I literally grab their hand and drag them into the bedroom once they enter the house.

 

Is this off-putting?? Each time I've done this, I was pretty amped-up for the sex with those people and didn't give it a second thought that they might want to ease more into it. Now I'm concerned if I should put a leash on my excitement so I don't scare people. But then again...maybe they find it complimentary that I want to screw them so enthusiastically that it can't wait?

 

Men? How do you feel if a woman pulls you into the bedroom?

Women? How do you feel if a man pulls you into the bedroom?

[Alura 2,775]

Laura and I usually went out to dinner with our playmates first, a situation that gave us ample time for chit-chat. We sat at a table where women were opposite each other and the men were likewise. Once we even sat at separate tables and pretended to not know each other, but that was with long-time playmates.

 

When we drove to "The Venue," we'd switch partners for the ride. We usually arrived with buttons undone and lipstick smeared because of what we did at traffic lights.

 

Moving into the "Inside Venue" went pretty naturally.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

From the man perspective - It would depend on how well we know each other and how often we had played before. I kind of like to ease into things a bit either way, but the only time that getting dragged to the bedroom might throw me off my stride is if we didn't know each other much in which case a little bit of a getting reacquainted time would be nice. That's assuming that's where the evening is starting too, not like we'd been out somewhere where we wanted to get after it right then but couldn't without getting arrested and so headed off to find somewhere more private. If that's the case, then heck yeah, I'll race ya down the hallway to get to the bedroom

[Ebonylehigh 254]

If we have played a few times before then yes straight to the bedroom is no problem. But if it's a first time meet up then I need some ease in time. Hubby needs ease in time regardless but will not complain or say no if dragged to the bedroom. Being excited or eager to play is NEVER a bad thing to me. It seems so many folks are lackluster about playing.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

From the mr. - I am the slower of the two of us when it comes to play scenarios so I feel like I would totally welcome being pulled into a room. We sometimes struggle with the "transition" from conversation to playtime so someone taking the lead like that would be welcome. I would take that eagerness as complimentary - especially because I assume it would be the same level of eagerness for me. Also while not always the case, our experience has been that the home setting usually is the catalyst for fairly quick play and we usually find ourselves with uncomfortable silences if the conversation has been going on for some time lol.

[kikonkrome 844]

So we had only one experience where there was minimal conversation, and yes she initiated it. It was our only group experience as well. She basically walked up to us and said rather cheekily 'I would kidnap you'...so that wound up great! The only real conversation I remember was a 'hey are you guys into this', and 'Is everybody here ok with being touched by everybody else here?', true story.

 

Now onto the conversation part. We obviously like to spend a bit of get to know you time. That being said we think we do wind up doing the most initiating, or making things progress further. Kinda a 'hey you guys want to go play' during a lull in the conversation. Even with people we know have a LOT more experience than us, I always guess we can be intimidating? I do not really understand it myself. It also could be that we are just more fearless and direct with people.

 

So most of the time a minimum amount of conversation is required.

 

Do I like aggressiveness from my partner, yeah! A liberated women that knows what she wants is exciting to me. Does my wife? Maybe not so much. There's a reality portion to this though that I think is rather obvious. Whats a 140# woman going to do to me if I don't want it? Nothing. The opposite is not true of a 200# muscular (yes my wife likes big muscular men) and my wife.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

You all brought up the one thing I didn't add to the OP. Yes, I should have stipulated the question in regards to playmates that you've at least met before the evening of sex! During the times I mentioned, sometimes it was with couples we've met and/or played with before at parties. Sometimes it was with a single male who we had played with before. And one time it was with a different single male I had met prior but had not yet played with. With all of them, texting also played a part.

 

So, going forward, with the assumption that this is someone that you've at least met before and had some conversation before with...is it too aggressive when the female does this to the male? With couples, I did taper my excitement and at least asked before pulling them to the bed.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

A couple of times, when my Friend and I have gotten together having planned out a scene for the evening, we've manage a couple of perfunctory "how was your week?" comments before she says "so, want to go downstairs" (the playrooms are in the basement of the club we go to). Generally, I think a little bit of talk is good if only because it makes the evening feel like it's lasted longer... but on the whole, I have no objection to being dragged into bed by a beautiful woman.

[Mochacino 188]

If it's with people we know and/or have played with then yes that's hot! We find that it's a bit easy to get trapped into the "we talked the night away" and love when we can get down to naughty fun!

[oc1234 436]

Even when my wife and I have had a threesome with a guy many times, there is still some initial smalltalk while we all sit on the sofa. In almost all cases my wife is nude when the guy arrives. I then get things started by starting to rub my wife's body. The guy takes the hint and starts rubbing her too. After a few minutes, I suggest that we move to the bedroom. My wife and I have found that this approach works best since it avoids any possible awkwardness the guy might have in suggesting it's time to start playing.

[Guest]

If we have met, talked, and agreed upon our mutual interests and you specifically invite us for playing, then your process is reasonable. On the other hand, if you said, let's go to our house for drinks and get to know one another better, then we might view it as more pushing.

[SAMnTINA 362]

"Hi, this way to the bedroom" works for us. There is always time to visit between rounds.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Another factor I didn't mention is how much time you have. If it's just planned to be a couple of hours, then yeah, don't waste too much time getting to the main event. When we play at home or at their place though, it's usually a longer visit, sometimes even overnight, so there is plenty of time. That usually plays out as some fellowshipping first, then playtime, then a break to grab to get something to eat or whatever, then playtime, and so on. When you don't really have a defined endpoint, then you can kind of just go with the flow since you know up front you are going to be able to fit everything in no problem.

[JAPrufrock 588]

To be honest, I'm not really sure how I would feel. I think, as someone who's never done this before, it would be somewhat relieving, provided, of course, we had spent at least some time getting to know one another at some point. It might be nice to not have to have a slightly awkward 'we all know why we're here but let's tip-toe around it until someone finally initiates' scene. I'm terrified of that, actually. Along with the hotness of 'this person wants me so bad they can't wait.'

 

Anyways, I'll get back to y'all and let you know once Mr. Prufrock and I actually manage to DO something

[Alura 2,775]

Once, Mrs. Alura and I had gone to "Ronnie & Linda's" house with the understanding it was a play date. Nevertheless, we sat around chatting for a long time, nobody venturing to say, "Let's do it!"

 

Finally, Laura said,"The kids are at Grandma's and we have to pick them up in less than two hours. If y'all want some pussy, we need to get to fuckin'."

 

My late wife was never one to beat around the bush, or even have one.

 

[two4youinswva 3,068]

If it's with people we know and/or have played with then yes that's hot! We find that it's a bit easy to get trapped into the "we talked the night away" and love when we can get down to naughty fun!

 

My thought was, if given the choice between racing to the bedroom, and looking at a third set of vacation photos, then yeah, I'm already in the bedroom.

 

But, in reality, like everything else, it depends. I think most of the time we generally know how fast or slow to go. Generally speaking, I wouldn't be upset with a lady that started dragging my ass to the bedroom. At all.

[TwoFunTexans 103]

Assuming we'd meet sometime before that would be ok with us. Getting things going needs someone like that.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Since we have always looked for friends first...benefits later, we usually start off with meeting the other couple for dinner/movie/boating/hiking/concert/etc. first and then move towards the benefits later on in the 'date'. Not necessarily after...the women (especially) are encouraged to cuddle/strip/expose/suck/fondle/:flashing:/etc. whenever they want. We enjoy spending time with the people we are with but usually after the sex, everyone gets dressed and rather quickly says good night. If not for the original event we were getting together for, we would only be spending 2-3 hours together (that's right, I said hours )

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I dislike answering a question with a question but how broad a definition are we using for "conversation".

 

Just a few weeks ago, I was briefly introduced to a party guest as she came into the house through the front door. Throughout the afternoon and early evening, we passed each other while going from here to there in the house. I was aware that she was occasionally looking my way and I believe she was aware that I he'd given her the eye. Just by chance we ended up (still fully clothed) in the same downstairs room at the same time looking for dropped articles, mobile phones and such. Our eyes met one more time and we simply fell upon each other. The only words exchanged up to that point had been, "hello, I'm Michael" and "hi, I'm Toni."

 

With some women, I have spent many afternoons or evenings in conversation over a span of months before an invitation to the dance is made. I guess my answer is, therefore, there is no minimum of conversation needed. It might end up being completely spontaneous. And there is no maximum. Years might be needed.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I had a girlfriend who when she was horny and wanted to have sex would come into the room while I was watching TV or reading the newspaper, grab my hand and pull me back to the bedroom. I LOVED it! Freakin' sexy! I miss her.

 

If you have gotten to the point where you all have gone back to your house there is no need for conversation.

[asncpl 730]

I used to think some conversation is preferred but now I'm seeing the beauty of no conversation. I haven't met a male playmate who refused instant sex at a party, and for me it's less chance of getting emotions involved. It's different if we are doing couples swapping, but it works for me when it comes to playing separately.

[econobiker 165]

I've seen most all formats of conversation time before sex at house parties and swing clubs.

From two couples talking together all night long before getting to a mutual swap all the way to a single woman wearing just lingerie and high heels walking by three single guys in a hallway saying in mid-stride " Gentlemen, follow me to the back bedroom if you want to fuck me." As the first two guys trailed in behind her, the third guy, new to swinging, stood stock still with a look on his face like a deer-in-the-headlight until myself and the host couple's husband (who both witnessed this) cracked at him "Get back there with her!She meant what she said!" He almost jumped like a rabbit to run down the hallway to that bedroom.

 

I mostly like chatting with new partners a little beforehand but had some women who became regular swinging partners with whom I could hook up with fairly quickly during a party. Kind of developed with one woman especially that we each became a "default fuck" to eachother if we both had played out the newbies and still wanted more or the party was very small and no one else had interested either of us. She just had to walk up to Red and say "I need your husband in the bedroom with me right now." And then IT was ON!

[love2dp 53]

"Hello, want to swing? Sure" About that long lol! kidding hahaha. Damn wouldn't that be nice if there was no disease and people were cool like that. People would be fucking A LOT more hehehehe!

[kikonkrome 844]

"Hello, want to swing? Sure" About that long lol! kidding hahaha. Damn wouldn't that be nice if there was no disease and people were cool like that. People would be fucking A LOT more hehehehe!

 

It happens, sometimes with even less said.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

If the couple we had met with had pulled us in to the bedroom as soon as we got to their place, we would have been ok. It's why we went back to their place after all. We had already had plenty of chat online and at the bar we met up at. I actually kinda wanted to go to the bedroom faster but did not want to appear pushy myself. Every where you go you hear people talking about be respectful, don't be pushy, let it happen naturally, so on and so forth. I agree when initially meeting of course, and a party may be a bit different as well, but in the case of a going back to a house with a couple you were just on a date with, well, you wouldn't all be there if you weren't ready to do the damn thing, so do it.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Men? How do you feel if a woman pulls you into the bedroom?

If I like the woman and want to play anyway, I'm all for it! I would take it as compliment that she's so worked up over me that she can't wait to fuck my brains out.

 

Now, if I'm so-so about playing, or something about the people or the situation has my spidey-sense tingling, I'm more reluctant to embrace the experience with enthusiasm. To be brutally honest, I'd probably go ahead and let myself get pulled into the bedroom (have I mentioned that I'm a male slut, an insatiably horny bastard?), and try to enjoy the experience as much as possible. But I might not be up for arranging another play date afterwards.

 

Bottom line is that we have had experiences at both extremes- cases where we've talked for a long time before playing, to really get to know the other couple and build up a good comfort level, but also one or two cases where we found out what the other persons sounds like when they're having an orgasm, before finding out their name! It just depends on the people involved, and the dynamic among everybody.