Penis size thoughts--does it matter in a swinging setting?

[Mbgdallas 203]

I realize this has been discussed many times before but looking through all of the threads I didn't see this specific issue addressed. I am interested in everyone's thoughts and opinions.

 

We know there are large, average, and small penises when erect. We know that a large flaccid penis can become larger when erect but usually by only a small percentage... Roughly 20% or so on average. A small flaccid penis can enlarge by a large percentage... up to 650% or so. Therefore and 8" flaccid penis may become 9 1/2" but a 1" flaccid penis can become 6 1/2".

 

How does the flaccid size come into play in your play decisions? How does one judge the penis size unless you are at a clothing optional area? Do you think OMG at the large flacid penis and/or laugh and ridicule at the small flacid penis? Would you decide to not play with a couple that has a 1" flaccid penis due to size alone not knowing what the final erect length will be?

 

Lastly, only about 30% of women orgasm from vaginal penetration by a penis. So even though their are a lot of opinions on penis size... Does it really really matter since a penis penetration orgasm is such a small percentage in reality? Or, is it important from the mental and psychological point of view since the brain is the most powerful sex organ we have.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I can only think of two areas when the topic of penis size has ever been raised in my presence by women (no pun intended). The first was my wife observing that one of her partners was too long and had hurt her by impacting inside, but another partner of similar size wasn't a problem because he was much more courteous and careful about his thrusts. The second involved women commenting that they could not accommodate a partner for anal sex because of his size.

 

In my experience, penis size just isn't the issue popular culture seems to try to make it out to be.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I can only speak for myself but I don't judge whether I'm playing with a man based on his penis size but by whether I am attracted to him, physically and mentally. I'm not staring at a penis while having sex, I'm staring at the face. If I don't like a man's face, it's a no-go. If I don't like a man's attitude, it's a no-go.

[PandO 103]

I prefer average. I've had too large. I don't enjoy that. It can be painful. And I've had really small. While that wasn't all that enjoyable either, at least it wasn't painful. If he had been giving in other ways and made sure I also got to orgasm, I would maybe be able to say it wasn't an issue.

 

Luckily, I think most men do fall into the average range.

 

Idk that I even care about what it looks like flaccid.

[njbm 2,868]

How come no one talks about vaginal opening size? Wow, she's 62 centimeters! I think this topic is overrated. It is personality, sex appeal, humor, humility and access to ED drugs that matter! Kidding about that last quality!

[DestinyBandJ 34]

Given the limited number of responses you will get from this thread it is safe to assume that we are in the minority of agreed upon opinion. For us, the size of your junk is a factor. Not because we're shallow or just trying to find the biggest out there, but because it's out of preference that our play partner be at the minimum, the same size as our male half.

 

But as sunbuckus pointed out, attraction is a must if play is going to be successful. And while the thread is just about penis size, we also factor in whether the other parties like or prefer if the male is cut or uncut. Aesthetics are also a big factor for penis play (albeit overlooked). That seems to be a missing point from this thread, at least from how we're looking at it. For example, B likes her male playmates the be cut because she finds them more aesthetically pleasing to look at while J is uncut (penis size aside). So there are a bunch of variables that we take into consideration when it comes to just penis size. Just because you're 8" and thick, if it looks like a toad, we'll probably pass it up. If it's 6" and smooth, we'll probably lock you in our basement for a few days (attraction aside).

[SwingAcademic 22]

njbm said:

How come no one talks about vaginal opening size? Wow, she's 62 centimeters! I think this topic is overrated. It is personality, sex appeal, humor, humility and access to ED drugs that matter! Kidding about that last quality!

 

The reason vaginal opening size isn't talked about as much is simply because people can't see it immediately, like they can with a penis.

 

I guess you'd have to use tools such as bore gauges and micrometers to find out how large the opening is.

 

I used to make jokes about taking tools like these to vanilla bars. If some gal whips out a ruler and says she wants to see if I "measure up", I'd whip out the bore gauge and say, "I've got a better idea. Let's see how YOU measure up." And then maybe add a term used to describe an objectionable woman.

 

In case anyone cares, there's a guy who put out two hour-long BBC TV documentaries concerning penis size. Both are now on YouTube. Haven't seen these, someone let me know if they're any good. So I can recommend them to any guys I know who have a "complex" about their junk:

 

 

My Penis and I [2005]:

 

 

My Penis And Everyone Else's[2007]:

 

 

There's also the Large Penis Support Group for those who have a complex about having too large of junk:

 

Forums | LPSG

[DestinyBandJ 34]

Also to add to what SwingAcademic said, there is also a documentary about a guy with a not so average penis on Netflix. Its titled "Unhung Hero". It is a pretty interesting watch.

[asncpl 729]

Penis size is really not a consideration for me in deciding to play with someone. For one thing, a lot of the times we decide to play with someone before we see the penis. Even if I see the penis like at a club where people are naked or wear very revealing outfits, I don't put a whole lot of thought on flaccid penis, because what I really care about is when it's erect. LIke the OP said, it can be quite a dramatic difference.

 

This made me think of the Seinfeld episode about shrinkage, which was the first time I learned of it. If I take flaccid penis as a guide, I would have no one to play with at a pool party.

[MrDiscover 802]

MsD says it is not only a matter of orgasm or not, she simply likes the feeling of being full with a larger cock. For her, size does matter in fact.

[Guest]

Penis size has never been a factor in deciding who to play with and I had always thought that size didn't matter. But once at a nudist spot in the dunes, we met a young man, about 6'4" and his, flaccid seemed no longer then 5'11" hubby. Later, we he joined us in an MFM and I was quite amazed at how much his grew, and how orally, I went a little crazy over it. Then, during intercourse, I cautioned him to be gentle, he was so big. He was, easing it in, and then back and forth. According to hubby, who has obviously seen me with other mean as well, a short time l locked my legs around the guy, raising my torso to Jim's and basically, "fucking it" like he had never seen me do before. So, I can no longer say, size doesn't matter.

[JAPrufrock 588]

I haven't started swinging yet, but I can tell you, I'm not into long cocks. My cervix does NOT like to be touched. Ever. If anything, I'd take girth over length. A guy messaged us on SZC, who has a ridiculously long cock (13 inches according to him.) I guess I shouldn't knock it until I try it, but I honestly think it would just hurt.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

MsD says it is not only a matter of orgasm or not, she simply likes the feeling of being full with a larger cock. For her, size does matter in fact.

 

Mrs cplnuswing is the same way. She's not a size queen always on the lookout for the biggest, but she does like and get turned on by the sensation of being filled, As long as the length is at least somewhere in the ballpark, then the girth is what does it for her. Her preference on that is nothing to the extent that it would automatically make it a bad experience if it wasn't met, because as others have said, there is so much more that goes into attraction than the penis, but given her druthers, that's what she likes best.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Given the limited number of responses you will get from this thread it is safe to assume that we are in the minority of agreed upon opinion. For us, the size of your junk is a factor. Not because we're shallow or just trying to find the biggest out there, but because it's out of preference that our play partner be at the minimum, the same size as our male half.

 

But as sunbuckus pointed out, attraction is a must if play is going to be successful. And while the thread is just about penis size, we also factor in whether the other parties like or prefer if the male is cut or uncut. Aesthetics are also a big factor for penis play (albeit overlooked). That seems to be a missing point from this thread, at least from how we're looking at it. For example, B likes her male playmates the be cut because she finds them more aesthetically pleasing to look at while J is uncut (penis size aside). So there are a bunch of variables that we take into consideration when it comes to just penis size. Just because you're 8" and thick, if it looks like a toad, we'll probably pass it up. If it's 6" and smooth, we'll probably lock you in our basement for a few days (attraction aside).

 

I though it was just me that is like this. Hubby is uncut but I prefer cut play partners (although not a deal breaker in the slightest).

To answer OP I prefer average to large, my hubby is my max anybody larger than that I am pretty sure I won't enjoy. I have played with smaller than average and it was still a good experience, the one larger experience was OK too when I told him he couldn't go all the way in (which was probably lame for him lol). All this is not even secondary to initial attraction and personality though, because I am pretty sure if I like those two factors about a gent then he will be considerate enough to do what is necessary to please me. Oh and I come via vaginal intercourse btw.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . Wow, she's 62 centimeters!

The Sixty-Two Centimeter Vagina. Sound like the title of a Roger Corman horror movie.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Ok so now this makes me think of another question, for the larger guys be it length or width. Would you prefer a woman pass on playing with you who may not be into your size or would you rather play and go by her restrictions (as in not putting it all in, really nothing you can do about width though, I guess). Hubby I never asked you this, interestingly enough since you have been rejected twice due to this very issue.

 

Conversely, many of us admit that it is more personality, physical attraction etc.. that makes us choose our play partners so if you get to the bedroom after said choice is made and then the gent has to unroll his penis. What do you do? Run? Give it a try?

 

The only reason I am focusing on larger by the way is because it is the potential for pain which does not exist for a smaller than average penis.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Conversely, many of us admit that it is more personality, physical attraction etc.. that makes us choose our play partners so if you get to the bedroom after said choice is made and then the gent has to unroll his penis. What do you do? Run? Give it a try?

 

I can't answer your other question but I can answer this one. I'd give it a try! I have yet to come across a gentleman with a length that makes women pause.

[kikonkrome 844]

I know my wife checks out others just to make sure something is there. If she likes the size and shape. I get it though I check out women's anatomy similarly.

 

For me it is a sensitive issue. I now know without a doubt, erect I am larger than average, but frankly I'm a grower not a show-er and have gotten a lot of grief over that little fact over the years .

 

One of the more interesting facts I recently read was regarding where women have high concentrations of nerve endings. One spot is oddly enough the cervix, which therefore brings some women incredible pleasure, others not so much, I guess. At least that is the author's feedback.

 

Luckily for men, there doesn't seem to be one defining attribute that is attractive to all women, what pleases Linda doesn't work with Lacey. Thank god for that fact otherwise I am guessing I would be one lonely guy.

[SwingAcademic 22]

I can't answer your other question but I can answer this one. I'd give it a try! I have yet to come across a gentleman with a length that makes women pause.

 

I've seen porn movies where the actress either had her hands on her butt cheeks (rear-entry), or had her hands on her inner thighs (missionary position), so she could hold herself open for the actor's monster-wong. And these were actresses who had been in plenty of porn movies and had had plenty of large penises inside them.

 

Google "amber lynn and dick rambone" and you'll see what I mean. See the first result that comes up.

 

I realize that porn actors probably don't hang out at swingers' clubs much, though.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I've seen porn movies where the actress either had her hands on her butt cheeks (rear-entry), or had her hands on her inner thighs (missionary position), so she could hold herself open for the actor's monster-wong. And these were actresses who had been in plenty of porn movies and had had plenty of large penises inside them.

 

Google "amber lynn and dick rambone" and you'll see what I mean. See the first result that comes up.

 

I realize that porn actors probably don't hang out at swingers' clubs much, though.

 

I've seen plenty of pictures and videos of men with big dicks but I haven't met a man with one that made me run the other way.

[angelkin 1,326]

I've met a couple of penises (or is it peni?) I thought were rather large. Both were very careful and one really had me worried. I am not really into size, average is fine for me. I have found that large cocks don't typically get all the way hard, so I'm not so interested.

[Guest]

Hubby is about 7 1/2, a bit larger than what I had but generally I was of the impression that size didn’t matter although thicker was nicer than thinner. Then we had MFM with a guy that grew to 9 or so inches and, well, I went crazy with it. Was a bit sore the next day but would certainly try that boy again.

[cplnluv1 871]

I am average I guess and other than being in the locker room or watching porn never gave much thought to being inadequate. I know most guys will deny it but how do you not notice the guy at the gym locker room prancing around with a cocking swinging in the breeze. It's not a sexual turn on but more of an amazement. Maybe jealousy? When we decided to take the plunge into swinging we weren't looking for a Barbie and Ken. We looked for a normal couple. Of course we got dick pics and spread pussy pics. We never took any braggart seriously. We got all the descriptions, 38DDD, I am not a big breast lover, sorry. 7 cut, 9"uncut. 6"but fat. Yes we got them all. We were looking for normal, not freaks. I admit we laughed at the big ones and little ones. All that aside we were writing to a great looking younger couple. On about the 4th email we got a nude. That's when we figured they were phony. He never mentioned his size but we thought the pic was photoshopped. My wife said she could do it. I laughed. We did meet them. Our first. We were really there for the girl play. Well he was real. A real jerk, with a very big dick. After the girls played, my wife dismissed his remarks but did play with a cock that got bigger and harder. We think he had to be close to a foot. We didn't measure. I said 10". I admit watching her blow him was interesting and exciting. Of course his gf was getting me going too. I thought my wife was going great on him when he got her in the doggy position. I was nervous he would ruin her for life. My wife I can tell wanted him but 2 strokes in and he was finished. I smiled and let his girl fuck me for a half hour. Yes exciting and very big, but that's it.

[Shore2Please 610]

I haven't had sex with that many men. According to so many posts my husband is smaller than average. We have always had great sex. The biggest I have had was made from latex and it wasn't the size but the vibration that rocked me. Watching big dick porn I used to cringe and say ouch for the woman but I also wondered what it really felt like.

 

When we went to the nude beach on a vacation it was the first time I saw nude men since getting married. We joked about some of the men being large. We also joked about breasts of the women. I didn't want to stare but I checked out the guy in the couple we were with. At that point I never thought I would have sex with him but I looked and wondered. He was a little bigger than my husband but he wasn't hard or anything. I ended up having sex with him and he was larger but I don't think I could tell. Size for me is a visual thing.

[JB 140]

Would you decide to not play with a couple that has a 1" flaccid penis due to size alone not knowing what the final erect length will be?

I too have worried about this as I am one of those guys that go from 2 to 7 thick, but no one will experience that 7 thick unless that make the commitment to play with it, and how do you get them to make the commitment if all they see is the 2?

 

The reality is that it is an unfounded worry. I have never had a problem in this area. It seems most females know something instinctive that lets them see past the flaccid state. I don’t know what that is, but it seems to exist.

 

Lastly, only about 30% of women orgasm from vaginal penetration by a penis.

 

I do take issue with this though, I have read numbers like this before, but in my modest experience, this is simply not true, the number is more like 90%.

 

You never know, maybe there is a sub-set. Maybe 90% of swingers will, whereas the general population is more like 30?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . see past the flaccid state.

Hey, that's a catchy phrase. I'm gonna have to remember that one.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I have a rather small penis in it's flaccid state, and when I'm nervous it seems to get smaller (about 1 1/2" long) but erect it is all of average. Our usual play partners, well his is easily twice as long flaccid but we are almost the exact same size erect (diameter and length). It can be intimidating when you see other guys swinging 6+" flaccid, but history has taught me one thing. It's not the size of the wand, it's the skill of the magician.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi: [gasps] Ahhh! You're that NERD!

 

Lewis: Yeah.

 

Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi: [blissfully] Oh, you were wonderful.

[gasps in ecstacy]

 

Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi: Are all nerds as good as you?

 

Lewis: Yes.

 

Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi: How come?

 

Lewis: 'Cause all Jocks ever think about is sports, all we ever think about is sex.

 

 

From the movie 'Revenge of the Nerds'

[Ebonylehigh 254]

Honestly, I have never considered the flaccid state, maybe because I'm with a grower it makes me not care. I'm only interested in what you are able to do erect. Plus when I get to the point where I'm going to have sex with you, all the prerequisites have already been passed. So unless you are a totally selfish and uninvolved play partner, I'm playing with you.

[ZoDee 81]

I have a rather small penis in it's flaccid state, and when I'm nervous it seems to get smaller (about 1 1/2" long) but erect it is all of average. Our usual play partners, well his is easily twice as long flaccid but we are almost the exact same size erect (diameter and length). It can be intimidating when you see other guys swinging 6+" flaccid, but history has taught me one thing. It's not the size of the wand, it's the skill of the magician.

 

New here, so jumping in a bit late.

 

Sounds a lot like my situation.

I'm between 5 ½ & 6" erect, with just on 5" girth.

When it's flaccid it’s about ½ that at best. Add a swim in a cool pool & it’s backwards again.

 

None of the couple we’ve played with get to see it in that state before we play, I’ve always been one to be rock hard before the trousers come off, and stay that way till I’ve cum for the first time, and usually stay partially up until after round two.

 

We’ve noticed that with all the couples we play with the men are close to my size while still soft & only seem to grow a bit in both length & thickness.

They have all been flaccid when they first get naked and mostly their erections are up & down a bit as demand requires.

 

It’s always been reassuring that the ladies we’ve been with are always very enthusiastic about getting their hands & everything else wrapped around my cock once it’s out, and often comment about the degree of it’s hardness.

 

That’s plenty to dismiss any confidence & insecurity things.

 

I also find most of the ladies seem a little more enthusiastic when riding my cock than with the larger ones in the room, as if confident it won’t spear the wrong spot at the wrong time.

 

One lady always comments “You Really get my G-spot just right”.

 

Mrs Z says she enjoys the fun of the larger sizes most times, but adds she has to be careful not to take them too hard, and says that she notices the few she’s had have been near as rock hard.

 

So it’s usually when we are part way thru playing, after some funs already had, that friends first get to see me in my small state.

 

That’s usually chill out & chat time, before someone decides it’s time to get things back to full mast again for another round.

 

Do wonder sometimes about the “How you use it” statement though.

Been quite a few occasions where, it’s been the lady that seemed to be really knowing how to use it, while I was the one being taken for the ride.

 

Cheers.

[Mbgdallas 203]

Never too late.

 

Do you ever do clothing optional events? If not is it because of your flaccid size being so small?

 

I always have this worry even though I have never had a female mention the size.

[ZoDee 81]

Never too late.

 

Do you ever do clothing optional events? If not is it because of your flaccid size being so small?

 

I always have this worry even though I have never had a female mention the size.

 

Don't mind places like away from home nude beaches where I'm completely anonymous and there's only strangers about.

Enjoy being viewed & the slight degree of arousal means not being at the most shrunken of flaccid states.

Have absolutely no apprehensions about what thoughts might go thru those anonymous minds.

 

Places like the squash club shower with friends about, is a completely different story, have always managed to keep my back turned and be modest with the towel, while friends let the 3 & 4 inch flaccid ones swing about in full view of all.

 

Certainly conscious of what they'd be thinking if they saw me shrunk to less than 2 inches on those cold winter night.

While there would never be any comment there's still a mental humiliation of what thoughts might go thru their minds.

 

With friends we've already played with I don't care at all.

They have seen the varying sizes & know how it works, so always look forward to those occasions where their eyes get to explore me.

 

If it was something like a naked BBQ & included people we'd played with, and others we didn't know, that would not be a problem.

I'd have a sense of having allies on side in the friends who were present, which would dismiss the subconscious concerns of what thoughts came into other peoples minds.

 

Just amazing the silly little games our minds play with us.

Guess it explains why it's such great fun to have all in good no strings sex.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

A woman whose opinion I value once said, "are you a shower or a grower?"

[ZoDee 81]

A woman whose opinion I value once said, "are you a shower or a grower?"

 

Yes dead right,

But wonder if what's some peoples minds when they see some growers

is that Looks like a "No Goer".

[Kade oj 63]

I myself definitely prefer average! True to big hurts! the novelty wears off quickly

[Bluespruce1 706]

It really varies for me. When we go to the beach, I actually really like the way younger guys look with smaller cocks. I kind of think long flaccid cocks look gross. I like it if his balls are nice and tight and the tip falls just below his scrotum. When it comes to sex, it's really more of a mental thing for me. I can cum.easily from an attractive guy with a small penis. There are times that I really want the sensation created by as long thick cock as well.

[Kade oj 63]

Does penis size matter. Not at all.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

This discussion reminds me why I got pretty good at eating pussy and ass.

[Anon321 521]

Once my GF sees a flaccid penis the size doesn't really matter anymore at that point.  She is not going to tell him his flaccid penis is to small and to leave.  She is going to get it hard and finish what she started.

[Yourfunfriends 44]

The only consideration is if it's too big, the mrs. doesn't want it in her. Contrary to what modern society tells you, big penises are not always fun. 

[Idahocouple6969 294]

4 hours ago, Yourfunfriends said:

The only consideration is if it's too big, the mrs. doesn't want it in her. Contrary to what modern society tells you, big penises are not always fun. 

Mrs ID feels the same way. As she says "get that beer can away from me!" Bigger isn't better ? 

[enhancer 1,584]

The whole penis size thing is the biggest joke in the lifestyle!  I truly believe men or way more obsessed with it then most women.  

 

The size of a potential play partners penis is the last thing the missus is concerned about.  If they are good looking, in good shape,  not a douche bag and they are charming then there is a good chance they might be of interest to her.  Guys that sell themselves based on their penis size are actually a huge turn off for her.  She doesn’t have a bottomless pit between her legs that just can’t get filled.  

 

I am above average sized and I already have to be careful or I bottom out in her which is not a great feeling for her or me.   A giant one is only going to hurt her more if the guy wielding it is clueless.

 

She would rather have a good looking guy that knows how to please a woman without his penis.  If only dudes would spend more time worrying about keeping themselves in good shape then how big their cock is there would be a lot more action for them.

[couplers 4,614]

Michelle Wolf has a good comedy skit on YouTube about big dicks, and how she doesn't want one.  She likens it to how a foot should fit a shoe.

 

After pushing two babies out of my vagina, I believe that I can now take bigger in girth than I could before, but I don't need it.  Just keep the muscles in tone.

[JessicaJamison 861]

Okay let me explain this by referring to something you gentlemen in the group will relate too.  Let's replace dicks with boobs.  You have women with huge boobs, big boobs, small boobs, no boobs, flat boobs, full boobs and perky boobs.  Now you as a man probably have a preference in the size boobs you like the most, but if big boobs are your thing are you gonna snub a willing partner you are clicking with just because she has small boobs?  I'd guess most guys would not, they would go for it.  Same thing with dicks, we all have a size preference but if I am clicking with a guy and feeling cute an sexy I'm not gonna say sorry small dick I'm out, he'll no, imma fuck him, and I will get myself to orgasm whether he gets me there or I gotta do it myself.  Now there are a few exceptions to every rule, there are guys that will tell the small boobed girl to hit the bricks, I call them assholes.  There will also be some women that will act like a size queen and refuse a man for being to small.  

 

As for flaccid to hard, by the time I remove your pants you'll be pretty much there, and a couple seconds in my mouth will  confirm it.