The Onion does a swingers article

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Sometimes a swingers party just isn't worth the 80 mile round trip in traffic. Especially on a damn weeknight.

 

Local Swingers Not Going To Drive Out To Goddamn Oakdale - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

SHOREWOOD, MN—Citing both having to work early the next morning and several other inconveniences presented by a recent party invitation, local swingers Doug and Tiffany Finsky told reporters Wednesday that there is no way they are driving all the way out to goddamn Oakdale.

 

According to the sexually adventurous couple, traveling to the event that their friends Linda and Joe Tremaine are hosting in the Minneapolis suburb over an hour’s drive from the Finskys’ home would likely not be worth the hassle, with the pair stating they would probably end up spending more time sitting in the car than they would at the party.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Maybe they would like a little cheese with that whine. Let's wait and see if they get another invitation.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

That was a lot of whine! It was so much I think I'm drunk!

 

Seriously, my only beef about this silly piece was how they labeled the swinger couple as "polyamorous". 🙄

[JAPrufrock 588]

I love The Onion. I find that their articles are actually written much better than most real news articles. Seems to me that local news stations just task the lowest on the totem pole to write their online articles. Pretty bad when a satire website out-writes you.

 

Although, as silly as the article was, Mr. Prufrock and I totally turned down a party invite because it was an hour away from us, and it just wasn't worth it to go.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I had to ask Mr. Sun what the farthest party we've attended was and he said 70 mile round trip. Since he does the driving, we're much more open to where parties are, as long as they are in the general metropolitan area.

[JAPrufrock 588]

I had to ask Mr. Sun what the farthest party we've attended was and he said 70 mile round trip. Since he does the driving, we're much more open to where parties are, as long as they are in the general metropolitan area.

 

We wanted to go, but the times just didn't match up. It started at 8pm, which is our kid's bedtime. It takes us an hour to get there, we'd have to have someone put the kids to sleep (not an easy task), combine that with the fact that we didn't know anyone there, and weren't really ready for a party yet, we declined.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

It's tough parenting first-borne/only children! I'm so, so, so grateful that we have three kids because I think it makes our oldest braver and more responsible than if she was an only child. And even when we were in your situation, when she was 4 and her brother was a baby, there was no way I would let a non-family sitter watch them. I was pretty protective then. But now that she's older and can definitely tell us if something is amiss, we feel more at ease about letting non-family watch the kids now.

 

I hope you're not as uptight as I am/was!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I think the great thing about Onion articles is the hint of truth that is in them. When I read this one yesterday I heard a bit of myself in a couple of the "statements".

 

I mean come on. Who the hell wants to drive all the way to Oakdale and back on a work night?

[PeterJ 960]

As is so often the case, part of what makes an Onion piece so funny is that it contains more than just a grain of truth. I love this one!