Meeting a Neighborhood Couple at a Party

[cplnluv1 874]

We are a one on one couple usually meeting couples that are new to swinging. We have also not met anyone too close to where we live. We don't have a rule but normally go at least 40 miles away if we meet someone.

 

A couple we met had contacted us saying they rented a cabin over two hours away and had invited a few other couples. We are more of a shore and beach couple and wasn't sure about a night in the mountains and woods. We aren't campers and we joked about making s'mores and how the Bears in the woods were going to come. They assured us, no bears and there was a lake and the cabin was really nice. We were late getting there and didn't see anyone in the cabin so we went to the back and our hostess was busy with someone. She stopped and said everyone was at the lake.

 

We changed and went down to the lake. Lake is not the same as the beach but we had a good time. We met the four other couples. All nice people. That's when we realized one of the couples lives two blocks from us and our kids know each other. I think they were excited to know us. We were more cautious but went along with the fun. They are really nice but wish they weren't neighbors.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

As mountain folk, we LOVE weekend cabin getaways with friends. Lots of fun things can happen on a cool mountain night, especially when there's a hot tub on the deck.

 

As for the neighbors, we totally get what you're saying. If they attempt a follow up conversation with you, be up front about your concerns. Tell them that you usually play "away", and that you worry about hooking up with someone close to home ("We like you guys, but bringing our swinging world so close to home scares the hell out of us").

 

Chances are they have a similar attitude, or at least will understand where you're coming from. If they don't, then your fears are justified, eh?

[TricianMike 788]

We had almost the same thing happen to us. We were at a house party with plenty of couples. I recognized a neighbor but we steered clear of them not wanting to make a scene or put anyone in a strange position (funny I wrote that). During the evening the wife approached Mike (so he said) asked if we were avoiding them. I wasn't watching or near Michael but he told her we weren't avoiding (lie) and she said good and gave him a nice tug. We later had a private talk with them and we each laughed and made promises of secrecy. I think if you meet enough people you are bound to recognize someone and be surprised as much as they will be. 99% of the people are discreet and you most likely have nothing to worry about.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

This is a problem that you always run the risk of having happen. If you are trying to avoid locals by only looking 40 miles away you may run into others that are doing the same thing. We understand not wanting to play in your back yard, but you have to realize that you are not alone here. The good news is that both you and the other couple are doing the SAME THING (swinging and trying to avoid running into locals). Most everyone here is very discrete and will protect your 'secret'. I'm sure that they don't want you two telling anyone any more than they would be telling anyone about you two. They were probably happy to see someone they were acquainted with, but it doesn't sound like they wanted to play with you. Don't worry about this, it will be okay. In the future when (and if) you run across them in public you can both share a naughty wink and smile that you share a dirty secret with them.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Meeting somebody of the vanilla World with whom you are already acquainted is almost inevitable.

[intuition897 2,179]

If you are trying to avoid locals by only looking 40 miles away you may run into others that are doing the same thing.

 

This. This same logic occurred to me, too. We haven't yet had it happen to us, but we happened to be at a local bar for the evening some years ago when Mr. intuition noticed a woman he worked with at the next table over with her husband and another couple. We could easily hear their conversation and it was obvious they were there for a first-time meet & greet. When she saw him and recognized him she went pretty pale. She had this big long story about who this couple was and why they were there... Lady, why are you telling us this story? What do we care that you were out for a drink with some other couple?? The fact that she had to tell Mr. intuition some contrived story could have only heaped on our suspicion.

 

I think our worst fear would be to accidentally run into someone from work at a club or something if that person is a complete douchebag with a loud mouth and a slow mind. Mr. intuition's job requires him to be the unpopular asshole in the room who has to say the thing everyone wishes wasn't true. Because of this, there are some lazy pricks who don't like to do their job, with whom he does not really get along. Running into one of these jerks would be unpleasant to say the least.

 

I would be gobsmacked if I ran into anyone from my office, just because I couldn't imagine any of them being in the lifestyle...although I wouldn't mind us running into my boss and his wife... I don't think I'd care if I ran into anyone from my work. My workplace is a fairly liberal environment, and because my job is more "entry level", whomever we ran into would be at more risk than I would of being fired.

[Bob250 74]

This is one of the reasons why I rarely ever played in Indiana. I'm in the public eye, so to speak, and I really, really , really don't want to meet anybody I know at a swingers event. I usually travel to Michigan or Ohio or Chicago to party.

[cplnluv1 874]

We figured this would happen, running into them in a store. I was picking up a few things in a small local store and the wife was there. Oh no I didn't need this. It was just hi and how are you but I was not looking for conversation. When I left the store she approached me. She apologized but then started to talking about that weekend. That was what I had been afraid of. She was quiet and nobody could hear but I was uncomfortable. They had told us they were still feeling there way around this new thing and she said she remembered I told her we were only interested in first timers. I just wanted to go home at this point. She asked if maybe we can get together one day. I said maybe and we said our byes. I think I was friendly but not overly. They are a nice couple but do we want this?

[JAPrufrock 588]

So I get why you're hesitant. Do you like these people? Are you both attracted to them? Are they discreet?

 

All I can think of is the convenience factor. If you don't like/aren't attracted/ don't trust their discretion, then obviously, it's not a good idea. Mr.prufrock and I live out in the sticks, so we have to drive 30 mins to get to anything. So my first though was, convenient playtime! Although, if it blows up, you're stuck living near these people.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We don't play with friends...period. While other couples have had success with this, the risk/reward is just too high. If things go wrong, having to see them on a regular basis can be awkward (to say the least). Also, too much of a chance that they will tell the neighborhood. It's just easier to find new friends that are not from your current circle and play with them...plus the finding of new friends can be pretty fun as well.

[cplnluv1 874]

We don't play with friends...period.

 

These aren't friends, they are neighbors we don't know much about. I am not even sure if I would have said hello to them in a store before this. Their kids and ours go to the same school.

 

So I get why you're hesitant. Do you like these people? Are you both attracted to them? Are they discreet?

 

Not sure if we like them, we don't know them and have no idea if they are discreet. My husband thinks she is pretty. The sex he had with her was more her giving him a bj with another woman. He said he didn't do anything else with her.

The husband is as attractive as the other men at the party. I admit I stayed away more because of the neighborhood thing, not because he was unattractive. I know from the conversation we had the night we were there that she is curious about women but still can't build up the nerve. Normally that would be an attraction for us and we didn't act on it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Well, then maybe spend some time getting to know them better and then make a decision...?