Jealousy with flirting, but not sex. Is this normal?

[Nwhappy2 27]

Alright this is something I've been wanting to ask but for some reason a little afraid to for whatever reason but... I have always been a very "hands off that's my husband" kind of woman, and I'm a little worried about having some pissy feelings about my husband being flirty and showing another woman some attention. Now let me say I'm not ignorant to the fact that more than likely I will be in that same situation and for whatever reason I'm feeling fine about the sex part. (I know this is the crazy part) Also my hubby is wonderful in knowing how to treat things so that I don't feel any type of insecurities (if that's the right word). For example, we had a FMF experience and it was great then after, when we saw her again in a normal atmosphere, he was a gem in assuring I had zero bad feelings.

 

I am 100% willing to try this and see what happens and I can only imagine what this will do in our own marriage. Not that we are doing this to fix anything because we are in an awesome place in our marriage. Already just getting this whole thing started we communicate more, respect each other more, and the sex we've been having... let me just say mind blowing!

 

But I am a little nervous about this little green eye I have and don't want it to surface. please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[Alura 2,775]

You are definitely NOT the only one who feels that way, Mrs. Nwhappy2!

 

One evening, Laura and I were winding down with our regular swap couple, sitting on the carpet chatting about this and that. Laura lay down on one side and put her head on a cushion. Mr. Playmate, whom I trusted completely, moved toward her and started gently stroking her hair, an act of intimacy we'd shared only with each other and our sons. Our term for it was "Loving your hair." I had one of the worst gut-wrenching feelings ever. Now, understand this, I had watched my wife give blowjobs and gladly drink her reward. I had watched her climax screamingly with her toes pointed toward the ceiling and Mr. Playmate's cock pounding insistently into her vagina. I had experienced arousal, never jealously.

 

I maintained emotional control that evening. Later, after the unaware, and thoroughly fucked, Playmates had gone home, I explained my feelings to Laura. She understood and promised never to allow it to happen again. She didn't.

 

I think the key is to understand the difference between "making love" and "fucking for fun." That difference is probably the thing y'all need to discuss most in depth, probably to the point of ad nauseum. Laura and I tried to keep our encounters on the fun side. There was a lot of joking and laughter. The serious passion we reserved for each other. We talked about that aspect of swinging in our book.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Nwhappy2, I feel this way too, and I didn't even really realize it until you brought it up and Alura gave the perfect description of it in his example.

 

P.S.- you've convinced me, I'm going to go download your book, Alura. I love all of your stories about you and your late wife's escapades. For a 'rube hick' you express your feelings for and relationship with her beautifully

[Alura 2,775]

Thanks, J.A.!

 

What a nice thing to say! I have only my experiences with Laura to write about. I quit posting here a year of so ago because I thought I'd talked about everything I had to say. I must say, I'm pleased to have returned.

 

I hope you enjoy the book!

[Nwhappy2 27]

Thank you for the responses! Nice to know it's not just me. Alura what is the name of your book? I'd like to read it myself. When our first encounter does happen I want it to be awsome for both my husband and myself. I want it to enhance what we have. I don't want a green eye to mess anything up for anyone needlessly.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

This is why you set limits and rules and do not exceed them. You really don't know how you will feel until you are in a situation to feel the emotions. One thing I know is when I was young, I was EXTREMELY jealous and possessive. I was worried that this would rear its ugly head when we started down this path...but found out that I was very secure in our relationship. We talked, we shared, and we made sure that each of us know that they are the most important thing in our lives. That while we like the excitement and freedom that this brings, we love each other more and are NOT looking for replacements, no matter who they are. I've only felt her warmth towards me, her love, her trust. Never a hint of the green monster (of course, your experiences and actual mileage may vary).

[Alura 2,775]

Nwhappy2 said:

Thank you for the responses! Nice to know it's not just me. Alura what is the name of your book? I'd like to read it myself. When our first encounter does happen I want it to be awesome for both my husband and myself. I want it to enhance what we have. I don't want a green eye to mess anything up for anyone needlessly.

 

The name of the book is "Swingin' Down to Tulsa" It's available as a Kindle on Amazon.

 

One evening some friends were late for a playdate. Here's Mrs. Playmate's excuse:

 

"The babysitter was late, then she wanted to know what our plans were. I said, Oh, we're going to swing by Chimis and have dinner with some friends, then we're going to swing by a bar for a couple of drinks, then we're going to swing over to some friends' house and drink some champagne. We may be late. If we are, just sleep in the guest room and we'll wake you up in the morning."