Face pic reveals during chats?

[JAPrufrock 588]

Okay, so this issue has come up several times for us. Whenever we contact people, we always include a face pic, but oftentimes we don't have one of them to go on. We're texting with a couple, or a single male, and eventually face pics are shared. How do you guys normally respond? It always seems so disingenuous to gush over their pics, but I also don't want to send the wrong signal and make them think I find them unattractive.

 

On the other hand, I'm never sure what to say when Mr. Prufrock and I actually don't find them attractive. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone's feelings.

 

So how do you guys respond to the face pic reveal? Is there a set phrase you normally use? Do you have a different method to swapping face pics?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

We have always kept our face pictures open on our profile and early on our journey, before we even had any experiences, we ran into this problem. In our situation, the profile had pictures of the wife and they seemed to have taken some effort in the written portion of their profile. We messaged back and forth through the email system and even on chat a few times. We kept asking for pictures of the male half and finally we received them.

 

Well, I'm sure you guessed it...I wasn't attracted to him and I can still see it in my mind why I wasn't. I even came to the forum asking about this same thing! What do I do now that we've gotten pictures of both halves and there isn't attraction for one of us?

 

Anyways, I do still feel bad about how that situation ended up but for at least a year, we had a disclaimer on our profile stating that we wouldn't respond to messages unless they first opened face pictures or sent one to us. It helped to lessen the "rejection" we gave to others. Another thing we did was to cut out all of the messaging and chatting back and forth prior to meeting in person. If someone messages us, we tell them that we'd love to meet at a party or over drinks. Most of the time we don't hear back from them.

 

However, over time, our disclaimer went away and if we have a message, our response is asking for face pictures right away. Some will give them and some won't. And, yes, you will have to eventually bite the bullet and reject those you aren't attracted to. But it is a lot easier over email than it is in person! We simply state that we're sorry that there isn't a four-way attraction but wish them luck in the LS.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I don't engage conversation with anyone without sharing face pics. So if they message without a face pic of both of them, I ask for one and if they don't comply I just ignore them. Even if we are attracted we very rarely meet one on one first. If we are attracted to the pictures we say that they seem like a fun, attractive couple and we'd love to meet them at a particular event or club, if they are not attractive to us, we say something like, "Say hi to us at the club or we look forward to meeting you at meet and greet."

 

We've been in a situation where a couple turned us down online, but later we met at a club and played and have several times since and maintain a friendship. Because of that, I think it's best not to burn bridges. We were fine knowing they had initially been not interested. Many people are not fine with this and can make things awkward.

 

If a picture or profile shows something completely repulsive to us, then we would say, sorry we're not interested, but good luck in your search.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

JAPRufrock, we have unlocked face pics right there in our profiles on all the sites, so we have this taken care of from our side. We have not had too many cases of people with no face pics open, either by default or when they open private pics soon after we make contact with them. We might be a little more guarded if a couple declined to share face pics, but wanted to meet in person (what are they hiding?). That said, we try not to give too much weight to looks as seen in a couple of non-professional snapshots.

 

But the bottom line is that I guess we try to keep our options open, and not make any pronouncements of desire to play until we know what the other couple looks like, and know a little bit about them. That way, if there is a face-pic reveal that either of us finds just too unattractive to imagine being with (which would be a rare thing for us), we can just politely say that we have talked thinks over, and we think we are not a match, without giving details. And of course, we wish them success in their search!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We don't use any instantaneous method like chat or texting when first opening a dialog with another couple, instead we just use the plain old PM. Very early in the process we ask for face pics if they haven't already opened them. If we're not interested, we can politely decline and end the exchange or if we are interested then we can keep exchanging messages feeling each other out and maybe setting up meeting in person. Since we don't stay logged on waiting for a quick reply to a PM, yes, PM's are slower and that is by design. That way you don't feel so put on the spot and if feels less awkward I think to send or receive a "no thanks" since it isn't so tied to having just received a picture.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

[JAPrufrock 588]

See, I prefer PM's and emails too, but everyone is all about KIK, or texting on the phone. I didn't even know what KIK was...

 

I don't like having our face pics open on the public profiles, but if I message someone, I make sure to either open our face pic gallery and/or attach a face pic. If we answer someone else's message, I include a face pic there as well. I guess where I go wrong is not asking for their face pic right off of the bat...

 

Most of the time I see the pics (and we've only really chatted with a few people) I don't find them unattractive per se, just not "holy cow get over here so I can fuck your brains out" attractive. Only once or twice have I ever been completely turned off.

 

In any case, my normal reply is something along the lines of "You guys are attractive!" or "Aw! You guys are too cute!" but these responses seem trite. Still, their responses are normally along much the same line, so I suppose I'm overthinking it. (not sure if you all have noticed or not, but overthinking is a trait of mine )

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I have no answer for you. It's a conundrum for us even after all our many years of experience.

 

* We have recently met two people who have no pictures at their on-line profile and exchanged no pictures via e-mail or text. They are the most wonderful couple.

* We have met people who look good on paper but in-person, they're Herman and Lilian.

 

One trap that we now avoid is the profile having dozens of pictures of tits and ass but only one picture of the guy -- a view of his pant legs and shoes. When the rest of him is revealed the view typically suggests a 1930s hobo. So we say right away to a T&A profile before more is revealed, sorry.

[PandO 103]

I think I would probably say something along the lines of "Nice picture. It's nice to see who we're talking to." Or something very neutral while still polite and obviously showing that you're not uninterested. Idk maybe it's not friendly enough, but I have a very hard time lying and acting like it's a crazy sexy pic too, if it's just...eh.

[JAPrufrock 588]

"Nice picture. It's nice to see who we're talking to."

 

I love it PandO! Why didn't I think of that? It's perfect. Thank you!

[enhancer 1,586]

We learned a long time ago not to judge attraction by pics alone! We always make it clear to everyone that we will not commit to anything before actually meeting in person to really gauge attraction anyways. Some of the hottest people we have meet did not jump out at us from the pics they sent. On the other side their have been people we sent pics to that snubbed us out that we then meet at swingers parties only to have them really interested. At that point it is too late and we are not going to give them the time of day. Too many real people out there for us to waste time with people like that. There are no shortage of 6's that are only looking for 10's that never get anywhere in the lifestyle.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]