Is it us? No one is taking an interest in us?

[FEMAguy 15]

We have been married 13 years, have been interested in exploring the lifestyle for a while now. The Mrs. has had the pleasure of playing some with another lady on vacation a few years back, but there hasn't been anything other than some flirting since.

 

This weekend makes our third party with a VERY large group (300-500 person parties), we have met a few really nice couples and have flirted and had some laughs, but it seems to us nobody is really taking much of an interest in us. While I admit, we aren't the super outgoing types and we also aren't the kind of folks who are total wallflowers. We will dance, chat, and generally have a good time with whoever we meet. We are a little chubby, but are both attractive and even receive nice compliments from other couples on our appearance.

 

We just don't understand what is going on...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

A party having five-hundred people? I think that there are too many distractions for the other four-hundred and ninety-eight people for any of them to pay much attention to you. Maybe you could find a party of a more normal size.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Yeah, wow. That's a ton of people. If it's a at a club, maybe go on a night that's more quiet (Thursday or Friday)? Or try and find a smaller house party? I wish I had more advice for you, but Mr. Prufrock and I haven't had much interest either, although we went on a night where there was hardly anyone there, and we're introverts (we have a hard time going up to people and chatting.)

[tribbles 490]

We noticed we had to go back to the same party often enough for the regulars to notice us.

 

So if you went 3 times in 2 months, you should have been seen and chatted with. If you went 3 times in one year, everyone thinks you are super new and are letting you get your feet wet rather than rush at you and scare you away.

[FEMAguy 15]

We noticed we had to go back to the same party often enough for the regulars to notice us.

 

So if you went 3 times in 2 months, you should have been seen and chatted with. If you went 3 times in one year, everyone thinks you are super new and are letting you get your feet wet rather than rush at you and scare you away.

 

Third party since Nov... So not super often... unfortunately we have rather demanding lives outside of the lifestyle. The parties are resort takeovers so there are people coming from all over the place. I think we are going to try something a little different the next time we have a free weekend to get away. We have been hearing good things about a place in KC called The Spott.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

It's definitely not you. It's the way the lifestyle is today. We used to be highly successful but no longer are. Their has been more couples getting into the lifestyle for the atmosphere but don't play. As someone else mentioned earlier, 500 is a large group. It would take time. Small house parties result in better outcome. However, it's difficult to get invites to them. We haven't had one in over a year now.. Please keep going and don't give up. Eventually buoy will start reconnecting with people that you've met before. Be sure your clothing reflects your wanting to do more. If you come casually dressed, it might be perceived as your just wanting to relax. My wife will usually bring revealing, provocative clothing and change into them. Plus, play with each other In front of others. It shows your intentions. Small things count. Playing with her breasts, etc. My wife is a flirt. She doesn't wait for others to come to us. She goes to them. We went to a club we had never been to last May. We met several couples. One particular couple we really liked. Thought they might be out of our league. My wife is great at starting conversations with people. We were in bed with them within 2 hours. Hope this makes sense and helps!

[SJBluebirds 195]

Sorry to be late to this thread; just noticed it.

 

We have often been thinking the same thing: "Is it us?" because we've been socializing, engaging, and not entirely inept at conversation... but the deal is never 'sealed', as they say. Often, we'll meet a potential couple for drinks or dinner, and hit it off very very well.... perhaps too well, because on more than one occasion we've become good friends with said couple.

 

Only they want to remain friends, and don't want to add any 'benefits' to the friendship.

 

Good G-d, that's frustrating.

 

But at a large party, full of fun and good socializing -- nothing's happening, there? I wonder...

 

I wonder if it's as simple as making the first move and just asking. Someting along the lines of "We'd like to go somewhere else, a bit more intimate, with you guys." Maybe they don't want to scare off, you, the new couple; and won't know you're comfortable playing with others unless you explicitly say you are.

 

Just my two scudii.

[kikonkrome 844]

It's definitely not you. It's the way the lifestyle is today. We used to be highly successful but no longer are. Their has been more couples getting into the lifestyle for the atmosphere but don't play. As someone else mentioned earlier, 500 is a large group. It would take time. Small house parties result in better outcome. However, it's difficult to get invites to them. We haven't had one in over a year now.. Please keep going and don't give up. Eventually buoy will start reconnecting with people that you've met before. Be sure your clothing reflects your wanting to do more. If you come casually dressed, it might be perceived as your just wanting to relax. My wife will usually bring revealing, provocative clothing and change into them. Plus, play with each other In front of others. It shows your intentions. Small things count. Playing with her breasts, etc. My wife is a flirt. She doesn't wait for others to come to us. She goes to them. We went to a club we had never been to last May. We met several couples. One particular couple we really liked. Thought they might be out of our league. My wife is great at starting conversations with people. We were in bed with them within 2 hours. Hope this makes sense and helps!

 

We have been noticing much the same. It used to be no problem meeting people that are intent on going somewhere to play. Everybody was hooking up and you couldn't find a place for two people much less four or six.

 

Now the problem is people aren't even there to flirt or chat, and forget about sex. We were talking to two couples one night. We had all just met and were having a good time. The suggestion comes to go the play area's and one lady state, quite seriously I might add 'ewww go there'. I was stunned and I must admit a bit confused.

 

The party we were at Saturday night had much the same. NOBODY was in the play area's. It was left empty. I got to admit I just left confused and bewildered.

 

I think it's an interesting idea to try smaller parties. I was discussing something similar with the wife.

 

Sorry to be late to this thread; just noticed it.

 

We have often been thinking the same thing: "Is it us?" because we've been socializing, engaging, and not entirely inept at conversation... but the deal is never 'sealed', as they say. Often, we'll meet a potential couple for drinks or dinner, and hit it off very very well.... perhaps too well, because on more than one occasion we've become good friends with said couple.

 

Only they want to remain friends, and don't want to add any 'benefits' to the friendship.

 

Good G-d, that's frustrating.

 

But at a large party, full of fun and good socializing -- nothing's happening, there? I wonder...

 

I wonder if it's as simple as making the first move and just asking. Someting along the lines of "We'd like to go somewhere else, a bit more intimate, with you guys." Maybe they don't want to scare off, you, the new couple; and won't know you're comfortable playing with others unless you explicitly say you are.

 

Just my two scudii.

 

So we have come to the conclusion we just have to make the first move. Occasionally we get a couple interested in us. Sitting around waiting for someone to chat with us just gets depressing. I think I can only remember once where we were not the couple suggesting to go to the play area.

 

Glad I am not the only one that has noticed a distinct lack of sex at the sex club. I must admit I have been really confused. I also really like that people come and enjoy the atmosphere. I just really hope they don't denigrate others that are more involved in the life style.