Couple brought their baby... who does that?

[obkabc 19]

We talked to this couple for a few weeks before we met and they were saying they were just getting back into it after having the kid. We hung out twice everything went good, so we decided the 3rd time was gonna be the time. The plan was we would meet for early dinner, then off to Main Event for drinks and games then back to the wife and I's house. So we get to the dinner and they texted saying running late to go ahead and go in. We were sitting there, she came walking in then right behind her he came in pushing a stroller. So I figure they brought the kid so we wouldn't do anything sexual. Whatever, I'm still hungry so we ate. They were telling us about how cool Main Event is, so I figured oh they are dropping the baby off after we leave the game room. So we get there, get our drinks, mom didn't have one, and we're having a o.k. time seeing as there was a kid there. Hour later they say "they're ready to leave". My wife ask so you gonna drop the kid off first and meet us. They awkwardly looked at each other and said "well we kind of don't have a babysitter". I choked on my drink trying to hold in my laughter and my wife said "oh no this isn't gonna happen" and we left and deleted our account on that particular site.

[MrDiscover 802]

Imagine what they will do in 10 years time, taking little Josh with them...

[two4youinswva 3,068]

 

That is all.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

At the risk of stating the obvious... The other couple should have cancelled, or at least explained beforehand that they did not have a babysitter. This couple, of all people, should know that it's often a bit of work to clear an evening in one's busy schedule- the considerate thing to do would have been to let you know that the evening is not going to play out as planned. Doing a thing like that would definitely cause us to rethink any thought of future plans with this couple- not for being unable to get a babysitter, but for being so deviously inconsiderate in how they handled it.

 

All that said, it might be a bit of an overreaction to delete your account on a lifestyle "dating" site because of this incident. It's not the site's fault that this couple did this to you, after all- and there may be other fun (and considerate) couples out there on the site, waiting for the chance to meet you! Perhaps you could keep your account, and just not meet up with the particular couple again.

[JAPrufrock 588]

I'm sorry, a really evil part of me thought this was hilarious. What my Dad always says, there are more horses' asses then there are horses. I would never bring my kids to anything swing related. One couple suggested we meet at a kid's indoor gym so the kids could run around and we could talk. Ummm. No. First off, my 8 month old requires constant attention and my 4 year old demands it. But apart from that, swinging is our adult time. It would feel weird vetting possible sexual partners while my kids are sitting next to me. We may not be able to meet last minute, and we may have to pay a babysitter, but it's worth it.

[obkabc 19]

I'm sorry, a really evil part of me thought this was hilarious. What my Dad always says, there are more horses' asses then there are horses. I would never bring my kids to anything swing related. One couple suggested we meet at a kid's indoor gym so the kids could run around and we could talk. Ummm. No. First off, my 8 month old requires constant attention and my 4 year old demands it. But apart from that, swinging is our adult time. It would feel weird vetting possible sexual partners while my kids are sitting next to me. We may not be able to meet last minute, and we may have to pay a babysitter, but it's worth it.

Agree completely, the whole situation was hilarious. I just wish I was there to hear the conversation before hand, where as parents they both agreed to bring the baby along. That shows confidence on their end.

[Alura 2,774]

I can't help but feel there are some unanswered questions here. Parents always are anxious about leaving their first infant with someone they really don't know. Some experience and another kid later, most are more relaxed.

 

We once left our sons at a "drop-in" care center while we attended a non-swinging event. When we picked them up, the woman in charge didn't know where they were. She told us we'd have to look for them. We found them in a furniture-less room crowded with kids, cowering in a corner with their arms wrapped around each other, obviously frightened. We never used such a facility again. If Grandma or Grandpa weren't available, we didn't go.

 

The meeting with you must have been important to them or they'd simply have canceled.

 

Do you have kids, obkabc?

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Wouldn't have deleted my account, but would not have responded to that couple again. If you have a problem, ANY kind of problem, it is only polite to let the other couple know in advance. Not having a baby sitter is a problem...

[Lionheart72 2,190]

We once left our sons at a "drop-in" care center while we attended a non-swinging event. When we picked them up, the woman in charge didn't know where they were. She told us we'd have to look for them. We found them in a furniture-less room crowded with kids, cowering in a corner with their arms wrapped around each other, obviously frightened. We never used such a facility again.

 

Gods. I can only think if it had been my kid in that place the situation would have ended... badly.

 

As for the original posters situation... yeah, just no. Really, just no.

[Mochacino 188]

We don't even mention LS things in the company of kids, let alone bring them. Geesh.

[Alura 2,774]

Gods. I can only think if it had been my kid in that place the situation would have ended... badly.

 

I certainly can't say it ended well, Lionheart. We left without violence, but with a lot of guilt and the knowledge that no recreation was worth the trauma we put our sons through. This event, by the way, was a high-school reunion. There was a picnic the next day, to which we took our sons.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Gods. I can only think if it had been my kid in that place the situation would have ended... badly.

 

As for the original posters situation... yeah, just no. Really, just no.

 

I have a really hard time leaving my kids alone with anyone who isn't family, and I'm even picky with them . Like Lionheart, this would have ended very badly for the daycare center. I'd be getting my money back in full and lodging serious complaints with whoever owned the place, as well as state and county officials, and any place I could possibly post a review. It's one thing to have kids who take a while to warm up to other kids, it's another thing entirely for the place to not even know where your kids were. It's their job to make sure the kid is involved in some sort of activity, and to know where they are at all times. I probably wouldn't have made a scene, as it's important to teach your kids a positive way to react to negative circumstances, but they would have known that I was not happy.

 

Poor kiddos. I know they're probably all grown up by now, and no worse for the wear, but still.

[Brad145 58]

[Alura 2,774]

 

Poor kiddos. I know they're probably all grown up by now, and no worse for the wear, but still.

 

They're in their twenties now, JA. Both have earned their degrees and are working. They have no memory of the "drop in care" incident. The older one remembers the picnic. The hosting classmate had horses and gave them their first horseback ride, which is why he remembers it, I think.

[angelkin 1,326]

A related issue - I once was invited to meet and play at a couples' home where their 2 & 4 year old children would be home but asleep.

 

Um, no thanks.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

A related issue - I once was invited to meet and play at a couples' home where their 2 & 4 year old children would be home but asleep.

 

Um, no thanks.

 

Now that raises an interesting point...

 

I would agree that 2 and 4 is probably too young for the kids to be... little kids often wake needing immediate attention. OTOH, it seems to me that there comes a certain age where you can reliably tell a kid "go to bed and don't bother mom and dad and our friends" or "don't come into our room when the door is closed." After all, I say that to my kid all the time for reasons which have nothing to do with sex (or which do... after all, my wife and I do have sex together in our home).

 

Is there a certain point where you would be comfortable with playing in a house where there were sleeping children? If not, why not?

[MrDiscover 802]

No, never. For us, there must always be a responsible parent who can support immediately. Not after a few moments of getting dressed/hiding of said guests.

[obkabc 19]

I can't help but feel there are some unanswered questions here. Parents always are anxious about leaving their first infant with someone they really don't know. Some experience and another kid later, most are more relaxed.

 

We once left our sons at a "drop-in" care center while we attended a non-swinging event. When we picked them up, the woman in charge didn't know where they were. She told us we'd have to look for them. We found them in a furniture-less room crowded with kids, cowering in a corner with their arms wrapped around each other, obviously frightened. We never used such a facility again. If Grandma or Grandpa weren't available, we didn't go.

 

The meeting with you must have been important to them or they'd simply have canceled.

 

Do you have kids, obkabc?

 

No we, don't have any kids, and the area we're looking to meet people seems we are the only ones with out. For them I think the situation was, they were stuck alone together for the first time in years and were just ready to get out of the house and back into it before they started hating each other

[Alura 2,774]

My guess is that you're quite likely to meet folks who have kids if you're looking for swingers. We met two childless swinger couples during our twenty-seven year marriage. Not very good odds, though.

 

My guess is that they'd been fantasizing about swinging for some time, had no baby sitter, but wanted to meet y'all enough that they decided to take their infant, who would be unaware, with them.

 

My guess is that they are a couple craving adventure who are responsible parents and in no danger of "hating each other."

[swing.kidz 367]

Is there a certain point where you would be comfortable with playing in a house where there were sleeping children? If not, why not?

 

We have swing friends who are also friends in our normal lives. These friends are also a big part of our (young) kids' lives. So, yes, we'd play with them while our kids were sleeping (we actually have done this pretty regularly). We have video/audio monitors in their rooms, and we know their sleep patterns pretty well...plus, we're not afraid to explain and/or dismiss the situation if our kids happened to see something. And considering who these people are to our kids, it's not that shocking or unusual for mom and dad to have a "sleep over".

 

However, we wouldn't host a new couple(s) with our kids at home, and we'll definitely not host a party.

 

As I imagine all parents here know, there isn't a blanket rule to follow in most situations. Each scenario requires some critical thought, common sense, but also pragmatism and reasonableness. Many of our swing activities can take place with the same level of privacy as our individual sex lives do.