Any swingers in your family?

[Brian and Jo 344]

I (Jo) was in the hot tub with my sister recently. We were both completely naked. I asked my sister who is divorced how she was getting on with her new boyfriend. She said she was having a great time with him and that she had done something with him she never ever imagined doing. He had suggested they go to an adult club and she agreed not realizing what that meant although she had her suspicions. They had a couple of drinks and chatted with a very nice couple who asked them if they would like to go into the private area with them. My sister was a bit taken aback when she saw several naked couples engaged in various forms of sexual activity. She said she was turned on by what she saw and when their new friends asked if they would like to find a private room she agreed. They all got undressed and had sex with their own partners. After a break they had sex again but this time they exchanged partners. I asked her if she had intercourse with her new partner and she said yes she did. She went on to say they had met their new friends several times after the evening at the club and that they had introduced her and her boyfriend to two other couples with whom they had had same room full swap sex.

 

She told me that she found it all very enjoyable and liberating. Then she asked me if Brian and I had ever done anything like that. I decided to tell her that we had been in the swinging lifestyle for 30 years. Of course she wanted to know all about our experiences. She went on to tell me that she had always found Brian to be very sexually attractive and that her boyfriend was attracted to me. When I told her the attraction was mutual she asked if we would be interested in getting together with them for a foursome. I told her I would mention it to Brian and get back to her.

 

So I was wondering if there are others here who have family members in the lifestyle. If so, how did you find out about it? Have you played with them or not? If yes was it soft swing or full swap? What are the pros and cons of swinging with family members? Any other comments would be welcome. Thank you.

[intuition897 2,179]

*Sorry just have to take moment here to say, BOOM! 3000th post, baby!!

 

Okay, back to the topic at hand...

 

Nope. Not for me. This came up in conversation one time and Mr. intuition had said fucking my sister would be like fucking his own sister...which was just weird. Aside from that, there's also the problem of not being able to divorce your blood relatives. They're always related to you, and family relationships are way, way too precious to jeopardize this way.

 

This is, of course, my own situation, my personal opinion, and your mileage may vary.

[JAPrufrock 588]

Yeah, I would never, ever swing with family members. Apart from the fact that it gives me the heebie-jeebies to think of my siblings and their respective spouses naked let alone having sex with them, there are the ramifications if things go south (which I think they inevitably will when you throw family members into the mix.) It would break my heart if something happened to break up my family, we're all really close.

 

Same reason I'd never swing with my best friend and her husband, despite the fact that we swore when we were 80 we'd become lesbians and move in together. After we got married we amended that to allow our husbands to stay, much to their amusement. But all joking aside, her friendship is way too precious to me to even entertain the possibility of screwing it up. You don't often find kindred spirits, and kindred spirits we are.

 

But, as always with the lifestyle, to each his own!

[asncpl 729]

I came aboard the lifestyle because of my older sister, who was already a seasoned pro. We are very close, and it wasn't a secret that she and her husband are swingers. It was early on in my swinging days so I didn't know a lot. They were among the first people I swapped with. We have done soft swaps, full swaps, and also group sex setting like in a club.

 

The nudity didn't bother me because we had all seen each other naked on trips to nude beaches and resorts. I have also seen my sister having sex from my teenage days (we shared a tiny room) that it wasn't that big of a jump. At the time it really felt like a learning experience, sort of a no pressure situation with them as the experienced swingers showing us how it's done. Sure, there was possibility of ruining the relationship, but my sister and I already had a very strong bond that I was comfortable nothing would come between us. I had turned down swapping requests from good vanilla friends for fear of ruining the friendship but now that i think about, the thought didn't cross my mind when my sister and I swapped.

 

Your situation seems to be reversed from mine, since you are the experienced couple and your sister and her boyfriend are new to the scene. I think a lot depends on your relationship with your sister. You probably know her better than most people. Does she have a jealous streak? Does she form emotional bond easily with sexual partners? What are her concerns being new to the lifestyle? I think you can get a decent idea if this will work or have some negative consequences. Also how well do you know her boyfriend? Problems usually come up when there is jealousy or when one partner becomes more than sexually interested in the play partner. One big question I have from reading the OP is that with your sister recently divorced, will she be jealous if she sees her boyfriend act out his sexual attraction to you? In my situation that wasn't happening because my sister and I have completely different taste in men when it comes to relationships. If it's something you and your husband want to explore, I'd say try soft swap first. You can always go further if everyone is comfortable, and even then there are many baby steps you can take without going full swap.

 

You may want to check out the archive on this board for discussion on Swinging and Family Issues. Some of the posts are pretty old but you can see some long-time members have encounters like what you described.

[njbm 2,881]

Would not go there and would not recommend it.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I guess this is one of those case-by-case things. While I can't think of a situation where this would work on either side of our family, I can see where it would work for some folks.

 

It seems that each of us probably know the dynamics of our families well enough to either say "Hell no" or "This might be fun" with a decent amount of confidence.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I'm with two4you, it absolutely wouldn't work for us, but I know people who it probably would work for. Not that I know they are swingers to start with, but just what I know about the dynamics of their relationships.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

I'm adopted so I might already be doing it

[Heing&Sheing 75]

The first couple profile I saw when we first signed up on SLS was my brother & his wife. I'm sure he recognized me in my profile pic despite only half my face showing because he gave me a sly wink the next time we saw one another in person. Nothing was ever said (yet ) and their profile is gone now. Maybe it freaked him out to see his sister on there! Lol. I'm sure I was the last person he expected to see. I'm sure it will get brought up next time we have a private conversation.

 

No I would not play with even just his wife.

 

I would possibly consider playing with my hubby's brother. After all a very sexy dream I had many years ago about hubby & his brother both doing me at the same time, that I shared with hubby & he was really turned on by the thought of me fucking his brother, was the catalyst for us to share more swappping/threesome/moresome fantasies and eventually led us to this lifestyle. But fear that it wouldn't be as non-dramatic in real life with involving the brother has kept us from pursuing that particular fantasy. Some things may just be better off staying fantasy.

-She

[Alura 2,774]

This subject came up in hypothetical discussion with my late wife. Her conclusion was that she'd NEVER trust ANY of my brothers to keep their mouths shut afterward. She was such a good judge of character!

[Brian and Jo 344]

Thank you all for your comments and advice which we both appreciate. After a good deal of thought we have concluded that, as much as we would like to, the risks of playing with my sister and her boyfriend outweigh the benefits.

[intuition897 2,179]

I love this board. This is one of those potential hot-button topics, and all it seems to bring out in everyone is a polite rendering of their perspective. Asncpl, I really appreciated reading your post. It really sheds a different light on how such situations could actually work in healthy, positive way.

[limitless78 21]

My parents would have guys and couples over as friends and they'd stay up late drinking after I went to bed. The only problem was they weren't exactly quiet after that, lol

[yourluvrman 28]

One of my earliest experiences in the lifestyle was that of helping a playmates' daughter enter the lifestyle. Both mom and daughter approached me, cautiously, lol. to see how I felt. Needless to say, I was not going to pass up experiencing my first 'Sportsman's Double'. To this day, It is still one of the most memorable periods for me in the LS.

[Glida 250]

My sister and her Mr are swingers and have been for years, my brother is not so open minded but knows we are, along with my parents...in fact my mum only recently joked about a swingers cruise. My mum and dad cruise a few times a year with another couple, I said they should try it, why not it might be fun! They don't have to do anything afterall. She found this highly amusing.

[econobiker 165]

At a couple of events i cohosted there was a mother, step-father and daughter. They had good boundaries in no playing together and sometimes one of the couple or the daughter would ask me to check if the others were playing in certain rooms. The couple was mid 49s with daughter early 20s. The mother wanted her daughter to "play" in a safer environment. Only one regular guy I knew ever achieved a delayed "sportsmans double" (Thanks yourluvrman for that term) of having sex with the mother and daughter once each but at completely separate events. I preferred the mother more because she liked oral I performed on her more plus squirted a lot plus the daughter trended towards black guys which I am not.

This couple also had an unspecified "sis-in-law" show up a couple times but I don't remember to who and how she was related- could have been the wife's ex-husband's sister (aka true aunt to the daughter).

[Guest]

This came up a few months ago. Mother-in-law had to be moved into a nursing home so hubby and I were doing an extended stay are her house while getting it ready to go on the market. His older brother came into town for a week to help. After a couple of days, hubby confronted me. “When we stay at Joe’s down in Florida (a male college buddy of my deceased husbands), you run around in your nightie, or even make after your shower. When we get out of the pool over at Tom’s condo, you’ll spend the evening topless, why so conservative when my brother is here.” I had been wearing a heavy, long bath robe and that was what he was referencing. I said, he’s family. He said, he’s my family, to you, isn’t he just another guy. Thought our difference in views was quite interesting.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Interesting topic! I agree with intuition897 that this conversation reminds me what a gem of a resource this board is! Despite a range of opinions, everybody has commented in an open-minded, non-judgemental manner that is accepting of others' views. The discussion exemplifies the best of the lifestyle community, which we are proud to be a part of!

 

Brian and Jo, I think you made a wise decision. There are plenty of fish in the sea, after all, and since you would never be able to un-fuck your sister's boyfriend (and she could never un-fuck your husband), there was a risk of permanent damage. Hopefully she will continue to rely on you as an experienced hand in "this thing of ours", and you can have a confidant that knows all about your lifestyle. That in itself is a valuable thing, and is another thing that can bring you two closer!

[Hitch 37]

As I was logging in today on SLS, the picture on the right was my sister in Cleveland.

We don't talk much, she's a step sister and we weren't really close (though I did teach her how to kiss).

 

I showed Mr Hitch the photo and we both were surprised...but not shocked.

I won't reach out, it was just kinda funny.

[Pklon 62]

Like in my previous post I made. My parents are swingers as well.

 

When I was 16 my parents came clean to me and told me that they were swingers and my mom is bi. They wanted to come clean to me and be honest. I was shocked by what they told me. I had no idea that they were into that. When they told me I was playing 20 question with them. They were honest to all my questions. I was quite surprised by their answers. I found out they did gangbangs, orgies, groups, threesomes and foursomes, and other crazy stuff. They were even members at a local swingers club for a few years. I even asked them do I know any of their swinger friends, and they said yes. One of the couples were parents to my bff. After it was all done, I asked them if I could take part of the lifestyle and give it a try. My parents were a little hesitant about my request but they knew it might happen after they told me. So after my 18th birthday they took me to their local club and paid my first year membership. And I never looked back.

For stuff with the family. Dad and I NEVER done anything. For me and my mom we only done 1 soft swap. We did a gangbang with 8 guys at the Hedonism. I was 21 and mom 48 at the time.

For me there been more pros then cons.

Only rule I ever implied was that my mom doesn't played with my husband.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

I found out they did gangbangs, orgies, groups, threesomes and foursomes, and other crazy stuff.

 

...and other crazy stuff. I think you covered all of the usually crazy stuff before that. Pleas tell us what 'other' crazy stuff is (and provide pictures) Seriously, I wish that I had as open of a relationship with my parents as you have had.

[ChrisandAli 17]

My parents would have guys and couples over as friends and they'd stay up late drinking after I went to bed. The only problem was they weren't exactly quiet after that, lol

 

That sounds very familiar. Things got pretty rowdy at our house too. They usually played in the den/family room and there was a perfect view from my upstairs bedroom, by leaving the door cracked just a little bit. I had told my Sister about it before and she was curious too. Our bedrooms were separated by a "Jack & Jill bathroom, so she could come into my room and peek with me, without anyone knowing. It usually involved our parents and two other couples but sometimes it was just another guy for a MFM threesome.

 

Initially, we were "shocked" and didn't understand the whole swinging thing but the more often we got to peek the better we liked it and the more often we hoped it would happen. I guess they took turns hosting because they only did it at our house every month or two. When my Sister and I would see Mom preparing party trays on a Saturday afternoon, we knew we would be in for great entertainment that evening.

[John Hound 33]

My parents would have guys and couples over as friends and they'd stay up late drinking after I went to bed. The only problem was they weren't exactly quiet after that, lol

 

Yeah, me too! Found out at age 8.