HOW TO keep from looking like brand new swingers at clubs, M&G, parties...

[Hitch 37]

What are the dead give-aways that show the entire room that you are new?

 

What should we avoid doing, saying, etc that will make it obvious that it's our first time at the club, or the party...

 

Thanks!

[longun45 115]

First if you are new to the situation or venue you are "NEW" and an unknown quantity. Don't worry about it, make nice small talk and relax. I seriously you will have a bad time with no pre determined expectations except getting to know people. And if you truly are new admit it and let them know it. I think you may be surprised who things turnout.

 

The rules are smile with the eyes.

Be open to conversations, above all listen and ask questions. If you are not good at small talk there are several videos on it at Youtube. find the host and introduce yourselves to them. Get a tour. Know the rules.

 

expected questions

Are you new?

How did you hear about it?

You might get asked what do you want. A nice answer is "FUN", excitement.

They may ask if you have a profile on one of the web sites.

If they ask for names - first name only should suffice until you get to know people

 

Things that might happen. Read through the threads and look at the different situations that have happened.

I would suggest that if you go as a couple stick together. It shows that you are a couple

 

I probably have missed some things and others have far more experience than I. I am sure they will add more.

 

Have fun, Relax, know your boundaries and keep to them.

 

Your mileage will vary.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

Do not worry yourselves over this. People who go to clubs are very understanding of people who are just starting. In addition to that, it is a virtual certainty that several others at a club party are also starters.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hitch, as others have said, don't worry about looking like you are new. You ARE new! Everybody else in the room is either new, or was new at some point. And I think that most swingers are a pretty caring and empathetic bunch- so there's no real downside to being new.

 

But since you asked... I think the most dead of dead giveaways is the "deer in the headlights" look, that mix of bewilderment and terror that comes from not quite being able to believe that this room is full of people who have sex with each other, and that some of them are probably going to want to have sex with ME! Now, if you really feel this way, don't hide it- honestly share it with someone who engages you in conversation. Believe it or not, that's not a bad icebreaker to start up a conversation! And people will appreciate the fact that you're open and honest right from the start.

 

One other option to longun45's suggestion about the question of what you want... You two should discuss before the particular event what you want to do with the evening. Are you just looking to meet people and talk? Are you hoping to find someone to go play with? Soft swap, full swap? If you know the answers to these questions coming in, you will be able to answer the question of, "what do you want?" more specifically, and avoid an overly-broad answer that might leave room for a wild orgy when all you wanted was conversation and maybe a screen name or two!

 

New people are often popular at lifestyle events, so don't worry that you have to look all suave and sophisticated in order to get anyone to talk to you. And at the other extreme, don't be too concerned about somebody swooping in and trying to molest you- most swingers are pretty cool and respectful, and if you did ever feel uncomfortable, you can always excuse yourselves and head for the exit!

[Lionheart72 2,191]

I'll join the chorus... don't worry about looking New. Embrace it. You're only a virgin the first time, after all, so you may as well enjoy it while you can.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

It can even help if when you get to the club, you let the owner or whoever is working the door that you are new here and they will usually take you on a tour and make you feel more comfortable. Most swingers are very nice and polite and nothing will happen to you that you don't consent to having happen (even if that is nothing happening). As already stated, you two should have already decided what (if anything) you are ready to allow and experience (and do not break those limits NO MATTER WHAT). Relax and enjoy the experience.

[JBI2014 23]

The big fluorescent dots the club hosts placed on our name tags were a pretty big sign when Mrs. JBI & I first attended a swinger club. Everyone was great to us, in several ways, that first night.