Feedback request-couples hotel group age w/ range 21 to 52 plus high cost of entry?

[econobiker 165]

Because Red and mine's main house party hosts are now divorced (for reasons outside of swinging) and that party event is gone, we've been evaluating alternative venues for our activities.

 

We found one fairly regular couples-only (supposedly both no single men AND women allowed,I think- i will recheck on that) hotel party that's in a good geographic location for us but, while not stated up front and center, seems to have an age range request of 21 thru 52 buried into their information. I'm not sure if I really need to worry about this or not, obviously the couple running the event can do what they want as far as vetting in who they want to in ages. I do wonder if they are targeting the "younger and pretty" demographic (again completely ok to do, which obviously they can do) but I'm into shapely thick and bigger women of all ages. And Red is outside the age range by a few years (on the upper end of course).

 

They have an $80 per couple fee for the events above which would pay for all the common event meeting room fees, event supplies, etc.

The venue's typical hotel room cost is $80-85/ night, which I know is not a lot for retail hotel rooms, but equals essentially $160-$200 in hotel for a weekend Fri/Sat event totaling $250-$280 with event fee included.While these fees and costs might not be much money for some, we personally have to be extremely conscious of our funds. And these fees are more than the regional on premise clubs charge a couple per evening but probably equal an evening plus yearly couples membership fees at on-premises clubs in our region.

 

Anyone want to weigh in on an event with an age range and couples-only specification like this? We don't want to get into something that just isn't us and be out that money.

 

Thanks in advance.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Sorry to hear that your friends are divorced, and that your favorite house party is no more.

 

The couples-only part does not bother me too enough to keep me away, although we know some very nice people who happen to be singles, both men and women, who would be regrettably excluded.

 

The cost for the event seems high to me. As you say, the rooms seem very inexpensive (so much so that I wonder whether it's safe to take your socks off in the room!). As far as the cost is concerned, you might I fact do better to join that local club, if you can figure on going a few times a year.

 

My biggest beef is the age range. The Mrs. and I are both above the age range you listed, so that would be a show-stopper right there. And even if we could sneak our way in (the Mrs. could do that easily, but I probably could not due to a well-seasoned head of salt-and-pepper hair!), I'm not sure we'd enjoy the demographic. We have many friends who could not attend, and we find many of these people to be the most sexually satisfying and hot partners! I'm not sure I'd like to give them up in exchange for a hotel full of kids, even if they have something closer to model bodies.

 

Maybe one of the regulars at the old house party will step up and offer to continue hosting the old crowd!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Prices can vary a good bit, depending on your location. $80 in the Nashville area will get you a shitty motel room. $80 in the Tri-Cities area of eastern TN will get you a decent night's sleep at a 2-3 star hotel. One of the hotel parties we attend gets rooms in the $80 range, and one of the other parties are a bit cheaper than that.

 

Now. $80 for the party itself is too damn much. $40 has been the going rate around these parts for several years, and this has covered the cost of the facility, finger foods, mixers, DJ, with enough left over to jump start funding for the next event. The only times it isn't enough is when you get a bust weekend and not many couples show up. It doesn't take much thought to figure out which weekends those will be, and those are the weekends you pass on throwing a party.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

The costs involved with the event you describe seem low compared to hotel parties that we have attended. But I will tell you what is going to happen with this young crowd. They will all strut around, mill around, and consume alcoholic beverage while checking each other out and it will be midnight or later before anybody makes a move toward a play room. I think I'd want to be involved with a more-experienced group.

[kikonkrome 845]

So we have definitely learned go where you are wanted. I am not really against the party charging extra and having a certain age range. They are letting you know what is their demographic. If you don't fit that, take that as a hint not to go. If that amount of money is an issue for you, you are better off at a party with people that is similar..

 

Our local clubs charge about that rate (80$), honestly I think they should charge more and up the services they provide. Also it's a drag getting dressed up, going and there's a bunch of people there in 'T-Shirts' and Jeans. I mean it's a turn off to us.

 

My wife and I have definitely gone to 'vanilla' events where we were outside the demographic, too rich, too poor, too old, too young, take your pick. We do our best now to pick events where we fit better.

[angelkin 1,326]

For all the reasons others have stated, I'd pass on this party. Any chance of you becoming the new host couple of your group?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

$80 for the hotel room seems very inexpensive, but $80 for a party where drinks or dinner are not included seems very expensive. Strange, I wouldn't think the hotel would be that nice if the rooms are that cheap. Do you know anyone who has gone? Is there a guest list? Maybe contact a few people and ask what it's like? Check the hotel on TripAdvisor.

 

Personally, I am not interested in anyone in their early twenties. Many times that age group at parties are just about drinking very heavily and drama. So if there is an upper age limit and a lot of very young couples I would avoid it just for that reason.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

My first thought was where did they get the 52YO limit from? Seems like a strange number to me. I would either contact who is hosting the party and get more info directly from the horses mouth or pass (actually, I would pass but I'm trying to offer options). Being that we are both towards the upper limit of 52, we wouldn't go since we are looking for others in our age group and that cuts off the higher end of our group. Let us know what you decide and what (if anything) happens...

[econobiker 165]

Thank you all for the excellent feedback from everyone on this forum about this hotel group.

 

A couple of other interesting items i found out about the hotel group. Some of their other site/profile information says that couples have to be vetted by one of the existing group couple however in the past they've also advertised in that geographic region's closet craigslist for the parties in the casual encounter section. Very contradicting info.

 

angelkin- good suggestion about becoming a host couple for the group, Red and I are not in a life stage (still have teen/tween children in our home) plus Red's fierce privacy precludes hosting at our own home. Our friends had adult children not living very close to them plus had pretty much cleaned and decorated their house to be fairly generic (except for a just a couple of rooms) which limited any "party" damage potential.

 

Funcoupledayton- the $80-85 is supposedly a "reduced rate" for the hotel. Their next scheduled party event does have a "meet and greet" the night before the main event which seems to be advertised as free. We had considered going to it at one point to get to know the crowd.

 

Our decision ends up being that we're not going to pursue this group for many of the reasons as mentioned above (age limits, cost of event, hotel room cost) and some not mentioned earlier.

 

In talking together, Red and I decided to figuratively "stand down" from swinging for a while- maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe forever.

From reading other posts on this forum, I realized that I personaly was trying to hard to keep up with the thrill of it. It has been 10 years since I walked in to my first ever swingers event as a separated and soon to be divorced male and quite literally met my future 2nd wife, Red, who was a never married single woman involved in the lifestyle (albeit more for the partying side versus sex play). I helped out first as a "good guest" and the later, after Red and I married, as an "official" co-host those events with our friends. I have watched and experienced things/activities that many men would only ever fantasize about or just see on video.

Best of all I found and married a beautiful, kickass woman who is a great friend and awesome step parent to my children and who puts up with my shit -sometimes I'm probably closer to being an extra child to her than another adult.

 

Us both being ages between baby boomers and millenials put us (especially Red) into the forefront of the internet things with swinging but now the scene is evolving as the millennials influence it more via technology.

 

We both need the time to reevaluate, time to work on ourselves, time to work on our finances, time to grieve our friends separation and divorce, time to grieve the change from both of us being in the center of or a focus of an "event" as co-hosts to being regular swinger folks (if that's what we decide to continue with.)

 

I understand, in a microcosm like way, what Henry Hill, the mobster protagonist in the movie Goodfellas, means when at the end of the film he gives a soliloquy that in part says "And that's the hardest part. Today everything is different; there's no action.... have to wait around like everyone else."

 

But, of course, we're being mature about this in order to grow as a couple too. Not that I won't stop chasing Red around the house trying to pull her sweatpants down when we're alone.

 

I'll probably surf this forum on occasion to chime in when appropriate but mostly I will go silent Thank you all for your help and wisdom.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

...already miss you chiming in. Do drop by every now and then.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Oh, I hope you do continue to chime in as well. I know that your wisdom is still appreciated by new and veteran swingers alike.

[econobiker 165]

Thanks all for the good words.