New to the lifestyle, need advice.

[TXTwo 11]

Hello everybody!

 

We are a couple from Texas (him 45, her 42) and after several years of considering it, we decided to give the "lifestyle" a go.

 

We live in a small town, so definitely local mingle is out of the question.

 

We're planning a trip to New Orleans in about a month, we want to visit both swingers clubs in NO and let the chips fall where they may.

 

We want to try MFM but I'm uneasy on picking up a single guy, so it has to be a couple.

 

We were wondering if any of you nice folk can give us hints, what to do, what not to do, and what to expect, as we are completely new to this.

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

Talk with each other. Talk about what you would like to have happen and what you don't want to have happen. Talk about how much you love each other and how great it is that you are in a place where you can even try to do this. Talk about rules and limits and fantasies and anything else you can think of but the most important thing is that you talk.

 

Next, don't rush things and don't go with any preconceived expectations. Just go hoping to have an enjoyable evening. Do your research in advance (where, when, how to get there) and maybe drive by during the day to see what the area is like in advance. Once there, nothing that you don't want to have happen will happen. No one will force either of you to do anything that you don't want to do (but you have to also be able to say what you don't want to do). You will find most swingers are very polite and will honor your limits and boundaries. Every so often, take a deep breath and relax. Don't be surprised if you find your brain telling you that your eyes are lying as to what they are seeing. We still have this happen to us (brain cannot believe that some of these things are really happening in front of our eyes). Enjoy yourself and have a good time. DON'T drink too much (a common first timer mistake to ease the nerves). Finally, come back and tell us how things went. Good luck and hope you two have a great experience.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

to Swingersboard. One hint regarding swingers' clubs, go in having no expectation other than to enjoy yourselves.

[Areyouready580 16]

Welcome! We are from OK. Not sure where in Texas you are from but the 13th Floor in Dallas is an awesome place to go.

[longun45 115]

Welcome TXTwo, Glad you are here and let us know what happens. Lots of good information here to check out and ask the questions you want. Lots of people here to give advice.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

You've gotten some good beginner advice so far from others so I would just like to say...welcome to the forum!

[cplnuswing 4,712]

The advice about having no expectations other than having a fun night out together is good stuff. We try to always approach swinging that way, whether it's a club or meeting couple for the first time after getting in contact online. As long as your swinging is guided by "fun" and "together", it's really hard to go wrong. When one of those words is missing for one or both parts of a couple, then it's time to rethink things.

[kikonkrome 844]

Club Coulette in NOLA, unforgettable, enjoy!!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Welcome aboard, TXTwo!

 

You've gotten some great advice about communication between the two of you. Hopefully, you both will feel comfortable and open enough to talk together about your fears, concerns, and insecurities, as well as the fun talk about fantasies, hopes, and turn-ons! Share your minds completely with each other, and you will come away from your experience stronger- whether you end up playing with anyone or not.

 

It is also important to communicate with the people you meet at the club. Hopefully, you two will have agreed beforehand what your limits, rules, and preferences are. Do you want only an MFM, even though you want to meet a couple? If so, how will you include the other woman in the fun, so she enjoys being with you two? Are you thinking about more of a fluid thing, where the two guys spend some time with each of the women? Are you willing and interested in trying a swap-type situation, where each of you is with one of the other couple? In any case, if you have a particular scenario in mind, you'll want to communicate it to the other couple- when things progress to the point where it's clear that everybody wants to play. However, don't wait until everybody is naked and breathing heavy to being up your desires, limits, and rules- you want everybody to have enough blood in their brains to think rationally!

 

The Mrs. and I have not had the best luck meeting people "cold" in a club setting (although we have gotten naked with new friends at a club a couple of times!), so hopefully others can chime in with advice on meeting new people in that setting. That said, we have been able to push past our shyness and talk to couples at clubs. If you keep things light, and project a friendly, welcoming vibe, you will hopefully meet some interesting people!

 

Even if you don't hit it off with any other people at the club, you can still have a good, naughty, sexy time there playing with each other! The playrooms at clubs generally allow sound to pass between the rooms, and I can tell you that the sounds of other people moaning, groaning, and slapping together is a huge turn-on!

 

We have been to both Collette and Jasmine in NOLA, and I can tell you about something at each club that you can do to stretch your boundaries a little, even if you don't play with anyone else. At Collette, there is a row of playrooms where each room is separated from the next only by a sheer curtain. So if you are interested in some voyeur/exhibitionist fun, you two can go to one of those rooms, and put on/watch the show! Along a similar vein, at Jasmine there is a large playroom with many beds in it. The beds are not jammed up against each other like an "orgy room"- there is a little distance between them. But the whole room is pretty open, so it's easy to see and hear everybody else in the room. That is another fun place to watch and be watched while playing!

 

One bit of club etiquette. When you go into a playroom at a club, if you close the door, you are signaling that you do not want to be disturbed. On the other hand, if you start playing in a playroom and leave the door wide open, you are indicating to passers-by that you are willing to have visitors! Now, people may watch from outside, but they still should wait for an invitation from you to come in. They also should ask and receive permission before doing anything else, like touching, kissing, fondling, stroking, etc.

 

Have fun in NOLA, and do come back and tell us all about it! And, of course, feel free to ask any other questions you may have. Good luck!

[TXTwo 11]

Thenk you all for your kind comments.

 

There's have been a change on our original plans.... We are going to be visiting the Austin Players's club on Jan 15th and 16th, so if there's a couple willing to pop our cherry, send us a private message.

 

Will add more images to our profile so you can catch a sneak preview of what you can have..

[kikonkrome 844]

Ooops forgot to add...check out our advice for newbies thread!!

[Curiouscouple84 15]

Welcome, good luck in your future endeavors. Hope you get the ad ice your looking for, remember have fun

[TXTwo 11]

Well, we finally visited our first lifestyle club in Austin last weekend, on Friday and Saturday.

We didn't get lucky with anybody else, but oh boy, did something happen....

 

The fact that she was being fucked in the same room where 6 or so more couples were fucking too, and we were being watched by many more, somehow turned her inner exhibitionist sex monster loose.

She went wild!

 

She even asked me to fuck her from behind while being completely naked on the second floor balcony overlooking the club, for everybody else to see.

Such an amazing experience for both, she now wants to go back ASAP.

 

I will post a few pics I managed to sneak by for you to enjoy

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Reading this makes me feel good. Welcome to the lifestyle!

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I'm so glad you two had a great time!

[enhancer 1,582]

Welcome and continue enjoying your journey together! Sounds like a great start for you two.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

...and thanks for the update. It's always great to hear the outcomes of things like this.