One attractive party, the other not

[cryjayfuntime 16]

How do you guys go about things when you're finding one party in a couple attractive and not the other party? I seem to be going rounds with my spouse that lead to arguments, saying that I am too "picky" and not really wanting to be in the lifestyle- but I truly do. The woman sends full body mostly nude photos and is decent, and then we see an up-close face of the husband that adds 100 lbs :/

[longun45 115]

Hi cryjayfuntime

 

I am not sure what you are asking. The guy in person is bigger than the photo shows? or is it that the camera adds weight.

It's ok to be picky, most are. That just makes playmates a bit harder to find but not impossible.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

If one seems attractive and the other not, we pass on both.

[kikonkrome 844]

Yep not uncommon...but the whole attraction thing becomes very personality based more than a photograph. It's possible that you are looking for a purple squirrel, but it's also possible that you are just not finding a couple that works for both of you. Pretty tough to give you feedback without more information.

 

Have you ever had any luck? How many people have you talked to? How do you go about finding partners? Who does the looking?

 

Good luck with everything!!

[njbm 2,906]

We find it tough to find couples where we are both satisfied with both other spouses. I think we do better at house parties where we can play with different people and not necessarily spouses.

[MrDiscover 802]

Do I understand correctly that the other issue is couples who only share full and truthful pics of the wife but not of the man? That is also a peeve of us and happens all the time, like it is not important for MsD how her play partner looks like... We pass in such situation and we only date if we both find our play partner(s) attractive. That also goes for threesomes by the way, as I too have to spend a whole evening in bed with the guy.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

First of all, we have found that while pictures are helpful, they do not tell the entire story. We've met people who are smoking hot in their pictures but had no personality and we have met couples that while not that hot in photographs, were sexy as hell in person. So we only use pictures to mostly help us find the other couple if we meet.

 

If we do meet them and one of us are not attracted to them, then it's a pass. One hard rule that we have kept is there is no 'taking one for the team'. If we are not both interested, then neither of us are interested (this IS a team sport). No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

Now if they are sending old pictures or pictures that are not them, this is just them telling us that they are happy to lie and we don't waste time on lairs...they are dead to us.

[enhancer 1,586]

First of all, we have found that while pictures are helpful, they do not tell the entire story. We've met people who are smoking hot in their pictures but had no personality and we have met couples that while not that hot in photographs, were sexy as hell in person. So we only use pictures to mostly help us find the other couple if we meet.

 

If we do meet them and one of us are not attracted to them, then it's a pass. One hard rule that we have kept is there is no 'taking one for the team'. If we are not both interested, then neither of us are interested (this IS a team sport). No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

Now if they are sending old pictures or pictures that are not them, this is just them telling us that they are happy to lie and we don't waste time on lairs...they are dead to us.

 

This sums us up pretty well too! Pics online do not tell the whole story about the people on the other end! Sometimes when you meet the people in person you can be pleasantly surprised or find they do not look so great in person. Also impossible to gauge real life chemistry on a screen. We would have missed out on some really great people had we been the super picky people that so many are online. As long as you are clear with everyone you are going to meet that the first meeting is to just get to know each other and see compatability there is no harm doing it. You will never get anywhere online by dismissing everyone because they do not come across as perfect.

 

On the other side of this we have had multiple people snub us out online after exchanging pics that then meet us at lifestyle parties and were very interested all of a sudden. To bad for them they already had their chance and any interest we might have had is long gone. We don't go backwards for anyone.

[cryjayfuntime 16]

Sorry it took me a while to get back realized all the feed back was going to my junk folder :-/ thanks for the input I appreciate it we dropped that couple and decided to take a break and just explore what we are actually looking for in each because my no means was I going to take one for the team as we say haha I actually did run into the couple at the store and he was actually like his pics and what I thought I was gonna see (not to mention he looked like my ex husband which was more a reason not to lol) and she was nothing like her pics she was heavier and looked totally different like maybe she used a sisters pics lol I think I like the idea of the clubs or party's because your right you don't have to keep with the same couple we threw the threesome idea out there because we have the same taste in men and woman that seems just as hard to find a non flake haha

[MarniJohn 172]

When my husband and I play we have a rule. No one takes one for the team. If we are not both on board then we walk away. We have a joke about it when we meet a couple. If one person is not liking the situation they say "I will definitely complain in the morning" and that means we don't move forward. It has worked for us for 10 years.

 

As for people not looking like their photos, perhaps if they notice the couples they meet do not end up playing with them, maybe they will realize you can't show them a picture to get them interested and show up looking totally different. Doesn't work!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We won't be complaining about that post in the morning